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BLACKWALL. SHOWYNGE YE PUBLICK A DINYNGE ON WHYTEBAIT

Saturday, August 18, 1849.

Comes Mr. Gollope, this being his Birth-day, to bid me to go dine with him and a Company of some Half-dozen of our Acquaintance, off Whitebait at Blackwall. So we first to London Bridge, on Foot, walking for an Appetite, and there took Water, and down the River in a Steam-Boat, with great Pleasure, enjoying the Breeze, and the View of the Shipping, and also the Prospect of a good Dinner. Landed at the Pier, and as fast as we could to Lovegrove's, where our Table engaged in the large Room. But good Lack! to see the Fulness of the Place, every Table almost crowded with eager Eaters, the Heaps of Whitebait among them, and they with open Mouths and Eyes shovelling Spoonful after Spoonful into their Plates and thence thrusting them five or six at a Time into their Chaps. Then, here and there, a fat Fellow, stopping, out of Breath, to put down his Knife and Fork, and gulp a Goblet of iced Punch, was mighty droll; also to hear others speaking with their Mouths full. But Dinner coming, I cared not to look about me, there being on Table some dozen different Dishes of Fish, whereof the Sight did at first bewilder me, like the Donkey between the Haystacks, not knowing which to choose; and Mr. Goblestone do lament that at a Feast with Plenty of good Things he never was able to eat his Fill of every one. A Dish of Salmon with India-Pickle did please me mightily, also some Eels, spitchcocked, and a stewed Carp, and ate heartily of them with much Relish; but did only nibble at the Rest by way of a Taste, for I felt exceeding full, and methought I should have no Stomach for the Whitebait. But Lack! to see when it came, how my Appetite returned, and I did fall to upon it, and drink iced Punch, and then at the Whitebait again. Pretty, the little Slices of brown Bread and Butter, they did bring us to eat it withal, and truly, with a Squeeze of Lemon and Cayenne Pepper, it is delicate Eating. After the Whitebait plain, Whitebait devilled made us to eat the more, and drink too, which we did in Champagne and Hock, pledging each other with great Mirth. After the Fish comes a Course of Ducks, and a Haunch of Mutton, and divers made Dishes; and then Tarts and Custards and Grouse; and lastly, a Dessert, and I did partake of all, as much as I had a Mind to, and after Dinner drank Port and Claret, when much Joking and rare Stories, and very merry we were. Pretty to look out of Window as we sat, at the Craft and the White Sails in the Sunset on the River. Back in a Railway Carriage, shouting and singing, and in a Cab Home, where Dr. Sharpe called to see my Wife for her Vapours. Pretty Discourse with him touching the Epidemic, he telling me that of all Things to bring it on the likeliest was Excess in Food and Drink, which did trouble me, and so with a Draught of Soda and a Dose of Pills to Bed.

YE SPORT OF PUNTE FYSHYNGE OFF RYCHMONDE

Wednesday, August 22, 1849.

This Day to Richmond, to go a Fishing on the River, and with me Mr. Itchenbrooke, out of Hampshire, a cunning Angler, who did mightily desire to see what this Sport should be. So first we out in a Boat below Richmond Bridge, where a Dozen or more of Punts full of People a Fishing, and rowed among them to observe the Manner of doing it, which is sinking with a Gentle, sitting upon Chairs, and smoking Cigars and Pipes of Tobacco, and drinking cold Brandy and Water. We did note one young Spark lying at full Length, in a Punt's End, asleep, and did conclude he had had enough of the Fishing, or else of the Grog. Some very silent, and bent on their Sport, but others bandying Fun and Jokes, and shouting for Joy and Merriment whenever they caught a Fish, which Mr. Itchenbrooke do say is not the Wont of a Sportsman. Among the Fishers I did note with Wonder one or two Damsels; but Mr. Wagstaffe do say it is a common Thing for Ladies to fish for Gudgeons. Several of them also quite old Men; but seeming as much taken up with their Fishing as Schoolboys, though catching Nothing but little Fish not a Span long. So, satisfied with looking at the Sportsmen, we to try the Quality of the Sport ourselves, and did hire a Punt, and Fishing Tackle, and a Man to guide the Punt, and bait our Hooks, and did take on board a Stone-Bottle of Half-and-Half Beer, to follow the Fashion. Pretty, to see our Man sound the Depth of the River with a Plumb, to resolve whereabouts on our Lines to place the Float, and glad to have him to put the Bait on, being Gentles, which I was loath to touch. Our Hooks no sooner dropped into the Water than Mr. Itchenbrooke did pull up a Fish about the Bigness of a Sprat, though, but for the Punt-Man, he would have thrown it in again, saying that he never heard of keeping any Fish under Half-a-Pound, and that while such small Fry were killed there would be no good Fish in the River. But Lack! to see how my Float did bob up and down, and I jerk at my Line, but generally bring up a Weed. Did marvel at the Punt-Man flinging Lumps of Earth and Meal into the Water to entice the Fish, which methought would either have driven them away or surfeited them, but did not, and the Trick did much divert Mr. Itchenbrooke. We did catch Roach and Dace to the Number of fifteen, which my Companion did call seven Brace-and-a-Half; and I caught the Half: I mean the Half Brace. Our Fishing did last two Hours, cost 3s., and 6d. besides for the Beer, but we had much mirth for our Time and Money, though little Fish, and yet more Fish than some our Man did show us, saying they had been at it all the Day. So to Dinner at the Star and Garter, where a most brave Dinner and excellent Wine, and pretty Discourse with Mr. Itchenbrooke of true Sport in Fishing and the Art of Whipping for Trout with an Imitation Fly, made out of coloured Silk Thread and Birds' Feathers. Our Dinner ended, cost me £1, 9s. 0d., went and bought 6d. worth of Maids of Honour at the Pastrycook's, and did take them Home to my Wife.

TRYCKS OF YE LONDON TRADE

Tuesday, September 4, 1849.

With my Wife this Day to Westminster, and walking thereabouts in Regent-Street and Oxford-Street, and the principal Streets, though contrary to my Resolution to walk with her only in the Fields, but did it to please her, and keep her in good Humour, but in mighty Fear of what it might cost me, trembling to observe her continually looking askance at the Shop-Windows. But I cannot wonder that they did catch her Eye; particularly the Haberdashers, and Drapers, and Mercers, whereof many were full of Bills, stuck in all Manner of Ways across the Panes, and printed in Letters of from two Inches to a Span long, and staring Dashes of Admiration two and three together. In one Window posted a "Tremendous Sacrifice!" in another an "Alarming Failure!!" in a third a "Ruinous Bankruptcy!!!", by reason whereof, the Goods within were a-selling off at 50, 60, or 70 per Cent. under prime Cost, but at any Rate the Owners must raise Money. Good Lack! to think of the dreadful Pass the Drapery Trade must have come to; so many Master-Mercers and Haberdashers on the Threshold of the Prison or the Workhouse, and their Wives and Families becoming Paupers on the Parish, or Beggars, and their People out of Employ starving; if their notices do tell true. But my Wife did say, very serious, that we were not to judge, or to know of their Tricks and Cozenage, and, that it was no Matter to us if they did cheat their Creditors, provided we could buy their Wares at a Bargain, and besides, if we did not, others would. So going by Ragge, Rip & Co., their Establishment, as they do call their Shop, she would needs stop in Front of it to look in; which did trouble me. I to read the Posters in the Window, which were the worst and most pitiful of any, and by their showing Mr. Ragge and Mr. Rip, and their Co. were going altogether to the Dogs. My Wife did presently, as I expected, find somewhat she had a Mind to: a Muslin she did say was Dirt-cheap, and I knew was Dirt-worth. I plainly refused to let her buy it, or anything else at Ragge and Rip's, who have been, to my knowledge, making a Tremendous Sacrifice any Time the last two Years; but the Simpletons their Customers the only Victims. But I pity not a Whit such Gudgeons as are caught by these Tricks of the Drapery Trade; rightly served by being cheated in seeking to profit, as they think, by Fraud and dishonest Bankruptcy. I told my Wife that Ragge and Rip do sell off at a Loss to none but those that deal with them, and were like at that Moment, instead of being Bankrupts, to be making merry at the Expense of their Dupes. But she being sullen at my Denial of her Muslin, I did quiet her by the Promise of a better Piece at Faircloth and Pryce's, who do carry on Business without rogueish Puffery, and after the old Fashion of English Traders, according to the Maxim, that "Good Wine needs no Bush," which my Wife, poor silly Wretch, not understanding, I explained to her did mean, that stuffs worth the buying, to find a Sale, do stand in no need of Haberdashers' trickish Advertisements.

MADAME TUSSAUD HER WAX WERKES. YE CHAMBER OF HORRORS!!

Wednesday, September 5, 1849.

To please my Wife, did take her this Evening to Madame Tussaud her Wax Works; a grand large Room, with Gilding, lighted up very splendid: cost 2s., and a Catalogue 6d. The Wax Figures showy: but with their painted Cheeks and glassy Eyes – especially such as nod and move – do look like Life in Death. The Dresses very handsome, and I think correct; and the Sight of so many People of Note in the Array of their Time, did much delight me. Among the Company Numbers of Country Folk, and to see how they did stare at the Effigies of the Queen, and the Prince, and the Duke of Wellington, and the King of the Belgians, and the Princess Charlotte that was, and George the Fourth in his Coronation Robes, grand as a Peacock! The Catalogue do say that his Chair is the very one wherein he sat in the Abbey; but it look like a Play-House Property, and little thought the King where it would come down to figure! A Crowd of Dames gazing at the Group of the Royal Family, calling the Children "Dears" and "Ducks," and would, I verily believe, have liked to kiss their Wax Chaps. My Wife feasted her Eyes on the little Princes and Princesses, I mine upon a pretty, modest, black Maid beside me, and she hers on me, till my Wife spying us, did pinch me with her Nails in the Arm. Pretty, to see the Sovereign Allies in the last War, and bluff old Blucher, and Bonaparte and his Officers, in brave Postures, but stiff. Also the two King Charleses, and Oliver, together; Charles the First protesting against his Death-Warrant, and his Son Backing him; and Cardinal Wolsey looking on. Lord Byron in the Dress of a Greek Pirate, looking Daggers and Pistols, close to John Wesley preaching a Sermon; and methought, if all Madame Tussaud's Figures were their Originals instead, what Ado there would be! Many of the Faces that I knew very like; and my Lord Brougham I did know directly, and Liston in Paul Pry. But strange, among the Kings to see him that was the Railway King; and methinks that it were as well now if he were melted up. Thence to the Napoleon Rooms, where Bonaparte's Coach, and one of his Teeth, and other Reliques and Gimcracks of his, well enough to see for such as care about him a Button. Then to the Chamber of Horrors, which my Wife did long to see most of all; cost, with the Napoleon Rooms, 1s. more; a Room like a Dungeon, where the Head of Robespierre, and other Scoundrels of the great French Revolution, in Wax, as though just cut off, horrid ghastly, and Plaster Casts of Fellows that have been hanged: but the chief attraction a Sort of Dock, wherein all the notorious Murderers of late Years; the foremost of all, Rush, according to the Bill, taken from Life at Norwich, which, seeing he was hanged there, is an odd Phrase. Methinks it is of ill Consequence that there should be a Murderers' Corner, wherein a Villain may look to have his Figure put more certainly than a Poet can to a Statue in the Abbey. So away again to the large Room, to look at Jenny Lind instead of Greenacre, and at 10 of the Clock Home, and so to Bed, my Wife declaring she should dream of the Chamber of Horrors.

DEERE STALKYNGE IN YE HYGHLANDES

Monday, September 17, 1849.

Comes Mr. Gollope, and Mr. Goblestone, and Jenkyns, to dine with me off a Haunch of Venison, and Mr. Mc. Nab calling, I did make him stay Dinner too, and the Venison very fat and good; and Mr. Gollope did commend my Carving, whereof I was proud. Between them a Debate over our Dinner, as to whether the Red Deer or the Fallow Deer were the better Venison, and both Mr. Gollope and Mr. Goblestone do say the Fallow, but Mr. Mc. Nab will have it that the Red is by far the better, and do tell them they know nothing about the Matter, and never tasted Red Deer but such as had been mewed up in Richmond Park, which are mighty different from them that do browse in the Highlands on the Heather. He do say that Highland Deer-Stalking do excel every other Sport, from Tiger-Hunting to Fox-Hunting, which I mean to repeat to Mr. Corduroys to make him mad. Then he to describe the Manner of Stalking the Deer, and his Account thereof mighty taking, but, with his broad Scottish Accent and Phrases, droll; and good Lack, to hear him talk of Braes, and Burns, and Cairns, and Corries, rattling the R in every Word! He says that the Deer are the cunningest and the watchfullest, and can see, and hear, and smell at the greatest Distance of any Creature almost living, and do keep Spies to look out, and their Ears and Eyes always open and their Noses to the Wind, and do think and reason in their Minds like human Beings; which, methinks, is peculiar to the Scotch Deer. He says that the Sport is to fetch a Compass on them by Stratagem, so as to approach or drive them nigh enough to shoot them with a Rifle, and it do often take some Hours and several Miles, mostly crawling on the Hands and Knees, to get one Shot. He says that the Stalker and Hill-Keepers that wait on him must, to gain their Chance, dodge, stooping behind Crags, wriggle and creep over Flats and up Brooks like Snakes or Eels, clamber up and run down Precipices, and stride over Bogs, wherein they do sometimes sink plump up to the Middle; which should be rather Sport to the Stag than the Huntsman. But after all, the Deer shot dead, or wounded, and at Bay with the Hounds at his Throat, but despatched at last, and paunched, which he do call "gralloched," is such a Triumph that it do repay the Sportsman for all his Pains. He do say that what with the Grandeur of the Mountains, and the Freshness of the Air, the Spirits are raised beyond what we could imagine, and the Appetite also increased wonderfully; whereat Mr. Gollope did prick up his Ears. To conclude, he did declare that no one could know what Deer-Stalking was that had not tried it; but methinks I can, remembering how I used in my Youth to creep in Ditches and behind Hedges to shoot Larks.

A PROSPECT OF AN ELECTION

Thursday, September 27, 1849.

Up, and by Railway with Mr. Wagstaffe to Guzzleford to my Cosin Peg her Wedding, and heard the Bells a ringing at 9 o'clock, the Marriage not to be till 11, but found they were rung for an Election; 'Squire Callow and Mr. Fairport standing for County Members in the Room of Mr. Brownjohn. So, the Wedding over, we about the Town to see the Fun. A Fellow the worse for Beer demanding whose Colours we wore, meaning our Wedding-Favours, Mr. Wagstaffe did pleasantly answer, Hymen's, whereupon the Fellow, crying "Callow for ever!" did rush full at us, but, we parting, slip between us and tumble headlong into the Mud. Good Lack! to see what Numbers of Ragamuffins everywhere with their Hats awry, Noses bleeding, or Eyes blacked, staggering under huge Placard Boards, whereon, in great Letters, "Callow and Agriculture," or, "Vote for Fairport and Commerce!" The Windows and Balconies full of Ladies, some pretty, to whom in my Wife's Absence I did kiss my Hand. But to think of the Ladies wearing the Colours of the Candidates, Blue and Yellow, but only for an Excuse to deck themselves out with Ribbons! In the Streets, Horsemen galloping to and fro, to tell the State of the Polls, and the Mob cheering and bantering them, mighty droll. 'Squire Callow did put up at the Barley-Mow, and Mr. Fairport at the Rising Sun, and between the two Inns, with a few plump rosy Farmers in Top-Boots, was a noisy Rabble, quarrelling and fighting, with Skins unwashed, and unshorn Muzzles, whom the Candidates' Committee-Men, speaking to them from the Windows, did call Free and Independent Electors. To some that harangued them, the Mob did cry, "Go Home," and "Who cheated his Washerwoman?" or, "How about the Workhouse Beef?" yet listened to a few that were familiar and cracked old Jokes with them. Presently they addressed by the Candidates in Turn; and nasty to see them pelt each Speaker with stale Eggs. But to hear, as well as might be for the Shouting and Hissing, 'Squire Callow promising the Farmers to restore the Corn Laws, and laying the Potato Blight and late Sickness to Free Trade; while Mr. Fairport did as loudly charge all the Woes and Grievances of the Country on the Landlords. By-and-by, Mr. Fairport, the Poll going so much against him, did give in, and then 'Squire Callow come forward, and make a brave Speech about our Glorious Institutions and the British Lion, and so away to have his Election declared, to the Town Hall, in a Carriage and Four, and the Rabblement after him. Then they left behind did set to on both Sides to fling Stones, and 'Squire Callow's Mob did break the Windows of the Rising Sun, and Mr. Fairport's the Windows of the Barley-Mow; which the Townsmen did say would be good for the Glaziers, and Mr. Wagstaffe do observe that the Conservative 'Squire Callow hath destructive Constituents. What with Publicans, and Lawyers, and Damage, the Election will cost the Candidates £6000 or £7000 a-Piece, and to think what a good Motive one must have to become a Parliament-Man, that will spend so much Money for the Chance of a Seat.

A PARTIE OF SPORTSMEN OUT A SHUTYNGE

Monday, October 1, 1849.

Up mighty betimes, and to Brushwood for a Day's Shooting, by Invitation from Mr. Tibbitts, whose Father, the rich Furrier, did die the other Day, and leave him a Fortune, and now he hath rented Brushwood Manor to shoot over for the Season. But Lack, what a set of young Rogues I found there of Tibbitts his Acquaintance, a-smoking of Cigars and short Pipes, and a-drinking of Ale and bottled Stout at 10 o'clock of the Morning! Mighty ashamed of, though diverted with, my Company, to hear their loose and idle Conversation, and how none of them could pronounce the letter H, and to think what an unlettered vulgar Fellow Tibbitts is, and that I should demean myself to associate with such a Companion only because of his Riches, and Wine, and Dinners. One of the Party, Wiggyns, did tell me we should have a prime Lark, which, this being the first Day of Pheasant-Shooting, I did think droll; but divers Larks, indeed, were shot before the Day was over. So we into the Fields, and a Keeper following us with the Dogs, and, whenever I did look over my Shoulder, did catch him grinning and making Faces behind our Backs. But strange, to see how much better the Rogues did shoot than I expected, though firing at Tom-Tits, or anything almost, and do understand they got this Skill at the Red House, Battersea, through popping at Pigeons and Sparrows let loose from a Trap; which do seem but a cruel and a barbarous kind of Sport. But little Birds were not all they shot, for one Higges aiming at a Hare did miss, and instead of the Hare hit one of the Dogges, and sent him yelping and limping Home. But good Lack, to see how careless the Fellows were with their Fire-Arms, carrying their Guns, full-cocked, pointing right in one another's Faces, and one, dragging his Piece through a Hedge after him, it went off, but finding it had only carried off the Skirt of his Shooting-Coat, we had a good Laugh of it. Another, with a double-barrelled Gun, having shot off one Barrel at a Blackbird, I did see reloading; the other Barrel being still loaded and at full Cock. He, forcing down the Ramrod with all his Might, I did catch him by the Elbow, and point to the Cock of the Gun, and methinks I did never see a Man on a Sudden tremble so terribly, or grow so pale. Getting beyond Brushwood, into a Field hard by, Mr. Wiggyns did let fly at some Ducks, for one of those Larks he had been talking of, which did bring down upon us the Farmer, with his Bull-Dog, and cause us to make off with all the Speed we could. I in mighty Dread of being seized as an Accomplice in shooting the Duck, fearing the Farmer, who is horridly enraged with the Game-Preserving at Brushwood, for that the Game do eat up his Crops; and, truly, the Game Laws are a great Nuisance. Home from our Shooting, with our Bag, carried by Tibbitts his Tiger-Boy, very full, with a Brace or two of Pheasants and Partridges, but many more Brace of Chaffinches, and Yellow-Hammers, and Robin Redbreasts, and so to Dinner, where all very merry, and so to Bed.