Buch lesen: «His Very Own Baby»

“I want to feed him. Show me what to do.”

Alik stood too close. Blaire could feel his warmth. The familiar brand of soap Alik used in the shower emanated from his bronzed skin, assailing Blaire’s senses.

She placed a clean cloth over his broad shoulder, careful not to touch him for fear she wouldn’t want to stop. Then she handed him the bottle.

“Go ahead and put it in his mouth. He’ll do the rest.”

When Alik did her bidding, the baby started devouring his formula. He drank so fast and furiously, he made loud noises that sounded indecent. Alik’s laughter started in his throat and rumbled out to fill the hotel room.

She couldn’t help smiling. “As you’re discovering, he has your healthy appetite.” Before she gave her feelings away, she moved to the other bed. “Do you want me to leave the light on or off?”

“On,” Alik murmured. “I still have trouble believing he’s real.”

Meet

Dominic, Alik and Zane

Three firm friends…

Three successful business partners…

Three dedicated bachelors…

But life is full of surprises, and these gorgeous men are about to discover the joys of fatherhood—and of marriage—sooner than they think!

Surprised by fatherhood and ready for love!

Next month in

The Baby Discovery by Rebecca Winters,

Zane finds an abandoned baby—

don’t miss it!

HIS VERY OWN BABY
Rebecca Winters

CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ONE

BLAIRE REGAN got out of the rental car and locked the door. She could smell rain in the early-morning air. It wouldn’t be long before it started falling.

After glancing around the excavation site outside Warwick, New York, she walked over to a couple of college students emerging from one of several dozen trailers.

“Excuse me? Could you tell me where I might find Dr. Alik Jarman? I was told he’s the consulting geologist on this project.”

It had taken several days and many costly, long-distance phone calls to various universities to determine his exact whereabouts in this pastoral section of the state.

Both heads turned at the same time. The look of blatant male admiration was always flattering, but right now she was too frightened and nervous to appreciate their attention. Her legs were shaking so hard it was a miracle she could still stand, let alone walk.

The blond one smiled. “He’s living in the trailer at the far end.”

By some miracle she’d arrived at the right place.

His buddy asked, “Are you one of Dr. Fawson’s students from New York University?” Hope shone brightly from a pair of warm blue eyes.

Her reason for being here was no one else’s business, but she couldn’t blame them for flirting. It was early October. College classes had barely started. Naturally they’d assumed she’d come to join the other students she could see working in the distance.

“I’m afraid not. But thank you for your help.”

“Anytime,” she heard one of them say as she made her way back to the car and drove the long length of packed dirt. One drop, then another spattered her windshield. It wouldn’t be long before the parking area turned into a mud bog.

The closer she drew to Alik’s temporary home, the faster her pulse raced. She could hear the blood pounding in her ears.

In the field, Alik’s day always started at dawn. It was possible he was already out on the site. She’d left the Bluebird Inn in Warwick at five-thirty in the morning, hoping to catch him before he began measuring soil properties or mapping water resources.

During the Introduction to Geology class she’d taken from the fascinating guest lecturer at UCLA in San Diego, California, a year ago, she’d learned he did a myriad of scientific disciplines in his study of the earth. But those all-too-short talks before and after class hadn’t been enough for Blaire. She’d fallen deeply in love with the ruggedly attractive Easterner after he’d taken her home from school because she was sick.

Apparently the brief drive to her house hadn’t satisfied his needs, either. Once she’d recovered, he’d suggested they have dinner overlooking the ocean. From that point on they couldn’t bear to be separated from each other. After a short courtship filled with romantic late-night walks along the surf, they set the date for their wedding and he flew her to New York City to meet his family.

That was when the horror story started. She’d had no choice but to break off their engagement. In truth, Blaire had never imagined she would see him again, especially if she allowed herself to think back to the awful blackness of that period.

But something unimaginable had come up, something she needed to talk to him about, otherwise she would never be able to live with herself.

Her mouth went dry as she got out of the car and found the strength to walk through the steady rain to the door of his trailer where she saw a poster mounted. No doubt he’d been forced to make a list of his business hours so the latest group of female students wouldn’t lie in wait for him the way they’d done in San Diego.

Was he already involved with one of them?

Stop it, Blaire.

She didn’t dare start thinking about what he’d been doing for the last ten and half months, let alone the women he’d been dating. Otherwise pain would consume her alive.

According to the poster, he was available for consultation between four and five in the afternoon, Monday through Friday, unless he was out of town.

Quickly, before she lost her courage and disappeared in the opposite direction, she lifted her hand and knocked on the door. She waited for a minute and knocked again. When there was no answer, she debated what to do, then tried turning the handle. To her surprise, it gave. She leaned her head inside and called out to him.

He wasn’t there.

After flying all the way from the West Coast to see him, she intended to talk to him no matter how long it took. Wondering how much her body could take in anticipation of this meeting, she considered waiting for him in her car. But the place where she’d had to park would prevent her from spotting him if he returned.

She vacillated for a moment, then decided to wait for him inside his trailer. He had to come back at some point. If the rain kept up, maybe it would be sooner.

During their courtship, Alik had intimated that when he worked at a site, any trailer would do since he only required the bare necessities. Viewing the drab brown and beige interior of the generic-looking mobile unit made her realize he’d spoken the truth.

At a glance she could see nothing of a personal nature to tell her about the man who inhabited these claustrophobic premises. After moving a pile of notebooks from a chair, she sat down to wait.

Much as she would have liked to explore his bedroom, she didn’t have the right. In fact by entering his abode uninvited, he could accuse her of trespassing.

Blaire had no idea how he would react when he saw the liberty she’d taken. But with the rain falling harder now, surely she could be forgiven for seeking shelter.

After a few minutes she got up to stretch her legs and discovered a huge map of the U.S. spread out on the built-in table next to the tiny kitchen. Curious, she made her way through the obstacle course to look at it.

He’d drawn a pencil line from New York City to San Francisco. Over the line he’d applied various colors of magic marker like a continuous patchwork between the cities he’d circled in black: Warwick, New York; Laramie, Wyoming; Tooele, Utah; San Francisco, California. There was no color beyond Tooele, just the line. Above each color he’d made scientific notations she didn’t understand.

Intrigued, she wasn’t aware of anything until the door was flung wide and she felt footsteps shake the floor. Suddenly Alik’s six-foot-two-physique dwarfed the interior of the trailer. The door closed behind him.

Blaire didn’t know who was more surprised, but where she let out a quiet gasp before straightening, his bronzed, whipcord-lean body stilled in place. The incandescent blaze in those forest-green eyes was the only part of him that let her know he wasn’t an inanimate block of quarry marble.

Through lashes as black as his overly long hair dampened by the rain, his gaze scorched its way up her silken-clad legs. Swallowing hard, she felt it skim the flare of womanly hips beneath her skirt. After a breathless pause, it wandered over the generous curves filling out her cotton sweater. When their eyes met again, she was quivering like a heavy dewdrop on a fragile petal.

“I couldn’t begin to guess why you’re here,” his voice rasped, “but you know the way out.” After opening the door, he stood there with his arms folded across his chest.

She’d imagined this meeting in her mind a thousand times at least, but nothing could have prepared her to deal with the extent of his deep-seated rancor.

He despised her.

“Alik—” His stance was so intimidating, she smoothed a lock of auburn hair behind her ear nervously. As she did so, his eye must have caught the glint of the diamond on her ring finger. The skin around his compelling male mouth seemed to whiten.

“I—I can understand how angry you must be finding me here like this,” she began in a shaky voice. “But it was raining, and I was afraid I might miss you if I stayed in the car, so I—”

“Get out of here, Blaire.” He didn’t shout the words. They were muttered beneath his breath like a curse.

She reeled from the raw brutality of his demand. The man she would always love had changed into someone she didn’t know.

No matter that she’d broken off their engagement for reasons he must never learn about, she couldn’t have imagined him treating her, or anyone else, with such exquisite cruelty. His capacity to inflict pain was a revelation.

“I’ll go,” she whispered, “just as soon as I tell you there were consequences the night we slept together.”

A palpable tension filled the devastating silence of the trailer. He shut the door, then leaned against it.

Gathering her courage she said, “We have a son who was born on August 19th. He’s six weeks old, and was christened Nicholas Regan Jarman.”

Next to telling him she couldn’t marry him, this was the hardest thing she’d ever had to do in her life. But now that she’d started, she had to see it through.

“You have every right to know you’re a father, especially since I’m being married in two months and another man will be raising him.”

It was a lie. There was no other man. There never could be another man. But it was imperative Alik believe she was engaged to someone else. Blaire’s aunt had let her borrow the ring she was wearing. She was on a precarious mission and needed it to authenticate her untruth.

The white around his mouth spread to his face. The look of shock.

“I happen to believe this kind of news should be delivered in person,” she continued. “Certainly you deserve that. But until Nicky and I both had our checkups yesterday, I wasn’t able to travel.”

The sardonic slash of his black brows told her exactly what he thought of her fabrication. He moved away from the door and took a threatening step toward her.

The motion drew her attention to the white T-shirt covering his well-defined chest, the powerful thigh muscles visible beneath his jeans. His utter maleness overwhelmed her. It had been so long since she’d lain against him while they’d kissed each other senseless.

“If you had wanted me to believe this fantastic story, you would have brought the proof with you surely.”

His biting mockery cut her like a knife. She sucked in her breath. “I would have, but he’s your mirror image. Since I’m positive no one around here knows about me or our past relationship, I tried to respect your privacy by leaving him with the hotel sitter. That way I wouldn’t embarrass you. Not even the two male students who pointed out your trailer to me know who I am.”

His withering look sent her to the door.

So far she hadn’t broken down, but if she remained another few seconds, the tears would gush and there wouldn’t be any way to stop them.

“What you do with the information is up to you, Alik. I’m staying at the Bluebird Inn in Warwick until checkout time at eleven tomorrow morning. I—If you want to see your little boy,” she stammered, “I’ll wait for you that long.”

After shutting the door quietly, she dashed to her rental car, but couldn’t escape a good soaking by the rain. She didn’t expect Alik to come after her, but some habits died hard as she watched for him through the rearview mirror until the trailer disappeared from her sight.

Fear had warred with excitement over seeing him again. The tension had made her body so twitchy, her foot wouldn’t stay on the pedal. She took a deep breath and willed herself to calm down.

You did it, Blaire. You told him the truth. No matter if you were taking an enormous risk, it was the honorable thing to do. Now it’s done.

By the time she reached the outskirts of Warwick, the rain had turned to drizzle. She lowered the speed of the windshield wipers. At least she could see better than before.

Yesterday she’d left San Diego under sunny skies. Only a mission as vital as this could have forced her to fly a second time to New York where she’d experienced the greatest pain of her life.

She hated it here, and couldn’t wait to get back to California with her darling baby. As soon as she reached the hotel, she would confirm her reservation for the return trip home tomorrow afternoon.

Finally the Bluebird Inn came into view. Anxious to hold Nicky and make sure he was all right, she pulled around the back and entered through a door located close to her hotel room on the second floor.

It hadn’t been easy to leave him with a complete stranger, but the manager of the Inn had assured her the baby-sitter was a retired registered nurse with impeccable credentials. There’d never been one complaint about her in the three years she’d worked for them.

Though it had frightened her, Blaire had been forced to trust the older woman with her most priceless possession. The visit to the site had only required that Blaire be gone two hours at the most, but it had still been a hard thing to do when she’d never been separated from Nicky before.

For several reasons, she realized it wouldn’t have been fair to spring the baby on Alik from out of the blue.

Certainly she hadn’t wanted to arouse any suspicion in the students and staff at the site. But more importantly, Alik needed time to absorb the earth-shaking news that he had fathered a son. Only time would tell if his hatred of her overshadowed the desire to see the child of his own flesh.

Alik was a man of strong passions and convictions. He was also one of the most honorable men she’d ever known. No matter how bitter his feelings toward her, he wouldn’t have received the news she’d just given him lightly.

But they hadn’t been together in almost a year. Since she’d broken their engagement, there would have been many changes in the interim. For one thing, he wasn’t on the university guest lecture circuit.

At this point in time she knew nothing about the nature of his present project, let alone his state of mind.

Unbearable as she found the idea, he might be in a serious relationship with another woman. Even married, a tiny voice whispered.

If he had a wife, Blaire couldn’t begin to imagine how news of a baby from a former relationship would affect him or his marriage.

The more she went over the imponderables in her heart, the more she knew she’d done the right thing by preparing him first.

And if he didn’t come to see his son?

Her hand went to her throat.

If he didn’t come, then it meant that after weighing everything very carefully, he’d decided that never setting eyes on his tiny offspring was for the best. If that were the case, she’d already made up her mind never to question that decision.

The most important thing was, she’d given him the opportunity to know of Nicky’s existence, and could leave with a clear conscience. Tomorrow she would board the plane with her baby, having said a final farewell to the past.

Nicky was the love of her life now, her future. He would be the constant reminder of Alik and the great love they’d once shared. She would devote every waking moment to being the best mother a child could ever have.

She tapped on the hotel room door before unlocking it so as not to alarm the sitter. To her relief, she found the woman sitting in a chair holding the baby against her shoulder.

“Mrs. Wood? How’s Nicky? Has he cried for his bottle?”

The older woman smiled. “He barely woke up and has been a perfect little gentleman. Such a sweet nature for a big boy. I was hoping you would be gone longer. There’s nothing like a newborn, especially this one. With his dark curly hair and beautiful olive skin, his father must be as handsome as blazes.”

Blaire cleared her throat. “He is.”

“Makes me baby hungry for more grandchildren.”

“I can’t thank you enough.”

“Say no more. I know exactly how you feel. When it’s your first child, you’re almost afraid to breathe, let alone be out of its sight.”

“Am I that transparent?”

She chuckled as she handed the baby to Blaire. “A new mother with her baby is a wonderful thing to behold. I’m glad I could be of help.”

“So am I.”

Blaire took fifty dollars from her purse and pressed it in the woman’s hand.

“Oh, no, my dear. That’s twenty too much.”

“If it hadn’t been absolutely necessary, I would never have left my baby at all. To know you were watching after him settled my mind a great deal. Please keep it with my heartfelt thanks.”

“Thank you.” She patted Blaire’s arm, then gave the baby a kiss on the top of his head before leaving the room.

After locking the door, Blaire rocked Nicky in her arms. “Oh, you feel good. Have you missed me as much as I missed you?” She covered his face with kisses.

“I bet by the time I order an early lunch and it’s delivered to the room, you’ll be hungry for your bottle. Come with mommy.”

She walked over to the phone at the bedside table and called for a meal to be sent up. Since boarding the plane yesterday she’d had no appetite. But now that the miracle had happened and she’d found Alik, talked to him, she was hungry.

While she waited for the food to arrive, she gave Nicky a sponge bath and dressed him in his blue stretchy suit with feet. By now he was making sounds that he was hungry for his next feeding.

Thank heaven for prepared formula she could empty right from a can into his bottle. He was such a good baby, he didn’t even mind it at room temperature.

She lay down on the bed and fed him in the crook of her arm. He’d been blessed with a healthy appetite. While he devoured the contents, she studied every detail of his precious face and body, which had measured twenty-two inches long when he was born.

He not only had Alik’s skin and coloring, but one day he would grow to be tall like his father. Having just come from seeing Alik, Blaire could pick out the many characteristics that already made Nicky recognizable as one of the beautiful, fabulously wealthy Jarmans of Long Island, a well-established, well-connected banking family on both sides of the ocean.

The whole clan had exceptional good looks, especially Alik’s mother, a physically beautiful woman with luxuriant black hair reminiscent of her Greek ancestry. Alik resembled her the most in appearance. But not in anything else, thank heaven. His height he’d inherited from his dark-blond, green-eyed father who’d come from English parentage.

Nicky’s Regan genes seemed to have contributed more to his even temperament. He’d inherited a sunny disposition for which Blaire’s mother was famous. So far his eyes were a cloudy color. Perhaps Blaire had given him her gray eyes. Only time would tell.

There’d been several knocks on the door of the trailer since Blaire’s hasty exit, but Alik had ignored them. The drone of the rain on the roof was driving him mad. He tossed down his second scotch, but the hoped-for state of oblivion hadn’t occurred yet. Maybe if he finished off the whole bottle a miracle would happen and he would pass out.

Until Blaire had ripped his heart from his body almost a year ago, he’d rarely drunk anything more than an occasional beer or glass of wine. Since their excruciating breakup for which she offered some mumbo jumbo explanation about him being too old for her after all, he’d kept something stronger on hand for emergencies—like those times in the middle of the night when the emotional wound oozed more blood and the pain got so bad he needed relief.

This was one of those moments, only it wasn’t even noon. Damn her to hell for showing up with such an improbable, ludicrous tale just when the new project had given him a reason to get up in the mornings.

Alik threw the empty tumbler across the expanse. It hit the wall, then ricocheted to the petrographic microscope, shattering both the glass and the lens. The fact that he’d caused damage to an expensive tool of his trade didn’t faze him.

He could still see her mouth forming the words. That luscious red mouth he helplessly devoured over and over in dreams he hadn’t been able to control.

We have a son who was born August 19th. He’s six weeks old and was christened Nicholas Regan Jarman.

He actually had a son she called Nicky? A child from his own loins? Alik shook his dark head. Dear God. Could she possibly be telling the truth?

You have every right to know you’re a father, especially because I’m being married in two months and another man will be raising him.

Full of rage, Alik leaped to his feet, kicking a couple of geology journals out of the way with the tip of his boot. Did Blaire take him for a complete fool, one who would lie down and die for her? Is that what she really thought?

No doubt her latest fiancé was the man who’d made her pregnant, the one for whom she’d dumped Alik while he’d been out of town giving a geological seminar in Kentucky.

Now that the baby was born, the bastard didn’t want anything to do with it. He’d probably threatened to withhold financial support, so she’d decided to fob it off as Alik’s love child, hoping he would kick in with the funds.

Like hell!

He reached for the uncapped bottle and made his way through the cluttered trailer to his bedroom. But he couldn’t get away from her last salvo reverberating in his head.

I’m staying at the Bluebird Inn in Warwick until checkout time at eleven tomorrow morning. If you want to see your little boy, I’ll wait for you that long.

His bitterness had reached its zenith. He lifted the bottle to his lips. “You can wait until hell freezes over, my beloved,” he ground out before draining what was left.

Oblivion meant you never had to wake up. Unfortunately Alik’s respite from pain lasted only as long as the phone didn’t ring.

Disoriented because it was so dark in the room, he ran a hand over the stubble on his jaw and tried to sit up. The room spun. He felt like the devil, but the damn phone continued to jar his nerves.

Through bleary eyes he checked his watch. It was quarter to eight? He fell back against the pillow from dizziness. That meant he’d been passed out for ten hours.

What did he expect after drinking a bottle of scotch on an empty stomach!

His cell phone was in the other room. Who in the hell would let it ring twenty times?

Blaire. That’s who. She was desperate for money. Too bad she hadn’t figured out which side her bread was buttered on before she’d betrayed him with another man.

They’d only slept together once—the night before he’d had to leave to give that emergency seminar. From the beginning, he’d held off making love to her until after their marriage because he knew she was a virgin.

But something about his going away on that last unexpected trip had made her so insecure, she’d begged him to take her to bed, assuring him that her OB had put her on the pill at her premarital checkup. It had never occurred to him not to believe her.

At that point in time he’d been too seduced by her warmth and beauty, too deeply in love, too filled with desire for her to see what was coming.

The night they’d made love was the last time he would ever see her again.

Until this morning…

If she’d lied to him about the pill, then the baby could be anybody’s. As far as Alik was concerned, if he had fathered her child, then he wanted DNA proof of his paternity!

Staggering off the bed, he groped his way to the shower and let the water pour over his head until it cleared enough that he could make it to the kitchen without falling down.

The thought of a meal sounded repulsive, but he toasted a slice of bread to put something substantial in his stomach. Two cups of coffee later, he realized that if he didn’t bite the bait, he would always have a question in his mind about the real reason for her unprecedented visit.

Much as he dreaded the idea of seeing her again, of being in the same room with the only woman who’d ever held such fatal appeal for him, he couldn’t live with this thing left unresolved. Not if he wanted to survive the rest of his life.

Obviously he’d never known the real Blaire. It seemed she’d been a bewitching liar all along, deceitfully drawing him down to hell with silken cords fashioned expressly for him. But his instincts told him she wasn’t lying about the existence of a baby.

All that remained was to call her bluff. Then he could write Finished to the end of the script and toss it in the trash along with every bittersweet memory.

After brushing his teeth, he dressed in clean trousers and a polo shirt, then left the trailer.

“Dr. Jarman? Wait up!”

His head swam as he turned it. He held on to the door handle to regain his equilibrium. “Hello, Ms. Call. What can I do for you?” The attractive blond graduate student was starting to make a nuisance of herself.

“I’ve been trying to reach you on the phone. It’s Friday night. A whole bunch of us are getting together in Peter’s trailer for a party. They elected me to invite you.”

“That’s very nice of everyone but I’m afraid I have other plans.”

Not to be daunted she said, “The party will probably go all night. You’ll be welcome whenever you get back.”

“Don’t think I’m not appreciative of the invitation, but I haven’t partied in years and have no intention of starting now. Good night, Ms. Call.”

She followed him to his truck. “Why won’t you call me Sandy?”

“I never address female students by their first names on the job.” He got inside and shut the door.

“What about off the job?” she asked in a surprisingly brazen manner through the open window.

“There is no ‘off the job’ when it comes to students.”

The only time he’d broken that rule had been with Blaire. It had turned out to be the greatest mistake of his life. He had an idea he would spend the rest of eternity paying for it. Tonight was a case in point.

He backed away, then floored the accelerator, almost hoping the dust flew in the aggressive Ms. Call’s face so she would get the point. With Blaire it had been the other way around. He’d done all the running. Until she’d let him catch her…

She’d missed his first test and had called his office with an excuse that she’d gotten the flu and didn’t feel well enough to take the exam. Used to the wiles of some of the female students who traded on their good looks for favors, he didn’t believe her and told her to come into his office. He’d give her the exam orally if she couldn’t write.

The breathtaking, auburn-haired student ten to twelve years his junior who’d shown up for the appointment did indeed have the flu. She appeared unsteady on her feet and the red stains on her cheeks were due to a fever.

Without conscious thought he put the back of his hand to the skin of her cheek where her shoulder-length hair had been swept aside. It was hot to the touch. At the slight contact, surprised dove-gray eyes fringed by black lashes fused with his. In that moment he felt a quickening pass through both their bodies.

“Forgive me for not believing you,” he whispered, lowering his hand. “When did you notice the flu coming on?”

“This morning.”

He sucked in his breath. “You must feel wretched and should be home in bed. How did you drive here in this condition?”

“I took the bus.”

Scandalized by his insensitive treatment of her over the phone earlier, he said, “This is my fault. I’m through lecturing for today and will drive you home.”

“Oh, no.” She shook her head. “That’s very kind of you, but it won’t be necessary. As long as I’m here, please let me take the test, then I’ll go.”

Though he could sense her reservations about being alone with him, he knew a fire had been lit inside her. The same fire had been ignited inside him when he’d touched her skin. An invisible energy crackled between them.

Her breathing had grown shallow. A tiny pulse in the scented hollow of her throat throbbed out of control. He had an irresistible urge to press his mouth to it.

“Forget the test. I’ll drive you home.”

“My parents’ house is twelve miles away from campus. That’s too far. I couldn’t let you do it.”

The more she retreated, the more determined he was to have his way.

“If you won’t allow me to make amends, then I’ll call for a taxi.”

“Please no. I don’t have the cash on me.”

“Naturally I would pay.”

Her small gasp of frustration pleased him. “Dr. Jarman—”