"Marriage."
“How to marry a millionaire”, “Ten ways to get married”, “Three sure tips for marriage” and so on.
Now the shelves in bookstores are full of such “works.” Some people write robots. You know, programs are simply compiled from different books, and then the author adds a little soul to it so that it looks realistic and there is no plagiarism.
The same applies to any motivating books. So don’t be too fooled if you bought one of these and it didn’t work for you.
But, I will make a reservation, this is better than doing nothing at all towards the goal. You can at least lie in her direction.
You know, after lighting a cigarette, take a pumping book and read it from cover to cover. And then go out into the street, grab the first millionaire you come across by the breasts and marry yourself with various tricks.
Until you marry yourself, everything else is just theater, girls.
If you haven’t put yourself in the shoes of your ideal man and looked at yourself through his eyes, then everything else is a circus.
– I don’t want to change for anyone.
– In terms of?
– Well, I'm not going to change for the sake of some guy.
– Do you want to marry a peasant woman, or an ideal representative of the opposite sex?
– Second option.
– OK. Then another question: for whom would you change?
– For my own sake.
– Deluxe. We mathematically deduce that if you were a man yourself, would you change for your own sake? For someone so capricious, with a potbelly, cellulite, sometimes lazy, who doesn’t know how to cook, who feels great in a mess and lack of money, who is demanding of others, but not of herself? List further? Have you already imagined such a husband?
Now you laugh, but I was like that, and I also saw about a hundred such free and independent women who allowed themselves to be mediocre, but wanted an ideal husband, so that he would also love him as he is.
My colleague was like this. Two meters tall, “suffering” from excess weight. Why in quotes? Because she didn’t suffer, didn’t make any real efforts to lose weight, she just tried and then gave up.
She wanted a man taller than herself, athletic, smart, kind, and a non-drinker.
She only came across idiots who matched the description, but who ran away as soon as her heart sank. Yes, by the age of thirty-five she had already earned herself a bad heart.
Would she want to marry a doughy, sick man who doesn’t want to reduce the amount of food and sugar he eats, who justifies his fatness with all sorts of reasons, who is so sick that if he dies one day during sex, then problems with the police can’t be avoided?
No. One hundred percent.
Look at yourself now if you are not yet married. And describe your ideal man. Enter the mind of this image and look at yourself through its eyes. If you are satisfied with everything about yourself, ok, read motivational books and go ahead to “conquer Everest.”
If at least something bothers you, for example, that you behave indecently in society, swear like a cobbler, drink to excess, dress vulgarly and tastelessly, then remember the movie “Pretty Woman”.
Richard Gere's character would not have dated such a woman, and his infatuation and passion would not have turned into love if he had not seen that this woman was capable of changing. That she is capable of being a lady when circumstances require it. That she's getting better.
In addition, the heroine of Julia Roberts turned out to be quite modest and honest, open and kind at heart, which is rarely seen among real moths. Therefore, if anger lives in you and men are just a bag of money for you, then it’s worth doing my trick. Enter the mind of your ideal man and find something in yourself that is worth changing. And then mentally marry yourself.
You can even play out a toy wedding and have fun at home with your friends. Look at yourself through the eyes of the groom.
How did I marry my boyfriend? I'll tell you now.
Even though we were already known as a married couple among our friends, I still felt insecure.
How was this expressed?
He was still my teacher. I remained in the role of a little guy next to the master. I had already stopped greedily looking into his mouth, catching every word like diamonds, I had reached a level where I could do something myself, I learned to bring income to our common company at four million rubles a month, but I still received lyulei, like an obstinate subordinate, constantly demanding something.
Then, in two thousand and sixteen, it seemed to me that for my merits at work, I could demand to register our marriage.
Where is the logic? There is no logic. It's funny, but at the time everything seemed very reasonable. I was like a fighter. I worked twenty-four to seven, trying to curry favor with the boss, instead of devoting time to relationships, loving him, understanding him, communicating and leading him to the decision to get married.
He is one of those who, having been burned once, does not want a second time. You know, like Mr. Big from the movie Sex and the City. My man didn’t want his second wife to go crazy after the wedding, so that she would go crazy with happiness that she had finally saddled the zealous stallion.
With tears in my eyes, I assured that I would not become like that. Do you know what my mistake was? I didn’t marry myself then.
I couldn’t imagine that I have a young wife who works hard for my subordinates, then returns home tired and angry, doesn’t want to have sex, or does it without a soul. Doesn't cum. Forgive me for my directness, but it seems to me that we have already become close friends here and have thrown away all boundaries of decency. Such a wife is constantly tense, rarely and poorly cooks due to lack of time, does not play sports and has neglected herself a little, dresses robotically, without excitement or zest, constantly growls at her employees like a Cerberus, and then complains to me about everyone. Sometimes he throws hysterics and asks for understanding.
You know, Vladislav then proposed to me and married me. But after three months we separated. He forced himself to reward the employee, not his woman. The roles are mixed up. After all, it was wise to give a bonus to a subordinate and leave. And calm the wife down, smooth her, revive her femininity and wait until she loves herself. And then propose to your wife.
Then the breakup would not have happened. Because we were both on edge. Perhaps it would take years of rest to consciously decide on marriage. We forced events and forcibly signed.
And in our case, this still played into my hands (later I’ll tell you what I’m talking about), but it brought harm to many others in the same situation; they separated in the first three years of marriage.
People should become better for their sweethearts, meaning that they are doing it for themselves.
And in the end, look at this: if you have become better, others will begin to look at you, not just your man, they will begin to envy him, many would like such a wife.
And if, after ten years of marriage, nurturing yourself, improving, you suddenly find yourself alone, divorced or widowed, then other men will stand in line and you will choose the best of them.
You definitely won't be left alone.
It’s even better if the divorced husband remains a friend and praises you to his friends.
Then Brad Pitt himself may choose you as his wife, or the one you have dreamed of since childhood, thinking it was unrealistic.
When I hire a new employee, I always find out from his former employers what kind of results this guy brought to them. And I take it only if there is a confirmed significant result.
Likewise, people should choose their spouses.
If he throws mud at his ex, he will most likely do the same after you break up.
If he praises her, but is no longer in love, then firstly, the same will happen in your attitude. Secondly, apparently she was a good woman.
– How did she influence you?
– Well, I was just a builder. And she believed in me. And now I have a construction company.
– Excellent result.
If he had told this on her social network (although someone would say “this is ridiculous”), then the poor girl would no longer be like that, she immediately began to be in demand, and being selective about this issue, she married the director at least , and maybe a major investor, young and sexy, faithful and doting on her.
Married girls, now ask your boyfriend a question: “How did I help you?” If you know the answer, but he is silent, then something is wrong. Either you crossed out all your achievements with constant criticism and reminding him of your merits, or you really didn’t do anything.
It's time to change, ladies, that's what I tell myself. It is advisable to marry yourself every day to remind yourself to become a better person.
Here, by the way, it is important not to overdo it, otherwise especially impressionable people will begin to reproach themselves for imperfection.
It’s not worth it, I’m not a tyrant to drive you into complexes. I'm on your side. I also have cellulite. I come from a poor family and have achieved everything in this life through my own labor, and not through the money of my parents or husband.
By the way, we were both broke when we started living together in Krasnodar. He was in a financial crisis then, I just believed in him and that’s all.
So, if any of you now snorted, saying that she allows herself to force us to be something for the sake of someone who may be cheating on me, or will betray me in marriage, who is not ideal himself, then let’s do it again I’ll write figuratively.
Here you have an image of an ideal. He is unconditionally loyal to you, decency itself and there is nothing to complain about (by your standards). Of course you're fine with the fact that he farts occasionally (oh, my favorite word in this book, the editor will say), but he doesn't have any flaws that annoy you personally.
Now you see a real man. You check. Almost there. But how it really is, life will show. You imagined a drawn image, placed it like a mask on your beloved, and moved in there.
Where?
In the mask.
Look at yourself from the mask. Is it good? Or are these lumps in the eyes a little embarrassing? Ok, I’ll take care of myself and carry a mirror in my purse. Does he cry often? It is unpleasant. Then I’ll take courses to become more resilient to other people’s words and insults. I'll stop crying over trifles. And so on.
Then you live together. You are so cool, but cool for whom? For that mask that was pulled on the guy. And he, seeing such a princess next to him, will start what? Pull yourself up to the ideal that you have attached to it. This is also called, believing in a person, seeing his potential, giving beingness.
And when such a person still could not stand it due to some base impulses and betrayed you, then you boldly take this mask from him and put it on someone else. And this man will lose the treasure. And moreover, they will speak well of you.
Do not confuse this with a situation where the wife is hysterical and proves that she is a superwife. I'm talking about real princesshood.
Such an adulterer will even leave his apartment to you after marriage, so that his beloved, whom he upset so much, will not be left homeless. He will try to be on your level and act like a gentleman.
The girls, once again, are not to be confused with a person who did nothing but look down on her husband, reproach him and behave like a queen with her servants.
Such a woman idolized her husband, realizing that he was earthly and imperfect. And even after betrayal, she knows her worth, does not humiliate him, helps him get out of the situation, forgives him, and calmly divorces him with friends. She receives his financial support, decent treatment and admiration in conversations with others.
Well, you say, I turned it down. There are no such things.
It happens, I saw it myself. At least three of these women are very happy in their new marriages and maintain relationships with their exes. They are carried in their arms, doors are opened for them, their hands are kissed and they are extolled in conversation with friends.
They are cheerful, glowing with happiness, idolizing their husbands.
And what about me? Yes, I strive to become better, I’m not a hundred percent princess yet, because sometimes a man wakes up in me anyway, who wants to burp or walk around unshaven, make fun of my husband or be offended like a teenager.
But all this is forgiven when the desire and how I change is visible.
So, I see you are tired of lecturing and moralizing.
OK. Let's play. Now you take your phone and set the camera to your height. Turn towards yourself.
And that’s it, start making faces, being yourself, to the fullest, dancing, singing. You won't show this to anyone. Burp, blow your nose, fart, scratch yourself, laugh as hard as you love, cry, get angry, swear like a cobbler, spit.
The task is to break away.
And send it all to me.
No, don't, I'm kidding.
Now just watch the video, admire yourself, and you can delete it.
Good game?
Did you like it?
If you didn't like some things, then do them differently. Learn to be more delicate, more mannered, or completely stop doing something in public, only in private.
If everything suits you, then probably the ideal you picture for yourself will be a biker or some kind of anarchist, maybe a hardcore lover. Then don’t forget to give your betrothed such characteristics.
I know one decent lady who sold diamond grinders and was very attractive, except for the moment when, during a quarrel with suppliers, she could throw out a couple of juicy swear words. So in the description (and she actually wrote two sheets of wishes for her future man), she took into account the fact that he would like this behavior of hers, and he would even admire her.
You know, when she found herself a tall, handsome, rich Australian, he had everything on the list, and in addition, when he first heard her tone, how she scolded into the phone at a careless worker, he was not embarrassed, but said:
–Wow, what pressure, what character! This is my woman!
She no longer wanted to do this in his presence, although she was certainly flattered by the attitude.
By the way, if you want to know the names of these three women and learn from them, write, I will give you the contact of at least one for sure.
In general, with much effort, persuasion and arguments, I persuaded my man to marry me.
The conversation went like this:
– Marry me.
– For what?
– Because I want to.
– But I do not want.
– What should we do?
– I don’t know, prove to me why you want this.
– Because this way we will become real husband and wife.
– Who decides this?
– We.
– Then why do we need a state decision?
– Okay, well, this way I will be protected in case you want to leave.
– Are you already thinking about leaving? Maybe you want to break up?
– No, what are you talking about?
– Then there is not a single important reason to get married.
– Well, what if we accidentally get pregnant, and I don’t want the child to be illegitimate.
– How will this help him? Katerina was born in marriage, and still I left her mother. And I don’t pay any child support.
– Because you are decent, and you yourself give even more than is required.
– That's it. It would be the same with any child.
– OK.
And I usually calmed down when we went through the tenth circle. But this time, in January two thousand and sixteen, I continued:
– You and I will get married someday anyway. So what difference does it make when? We won’t invite guests or relatives, we’ll get married quietly, just the two of us, get married and go and relax for a couple of days.
– I am not sure, let see what will happen.
And then something clicked in me. I realized that I had broken through the ice. It was urgent to finish it off. And I persuaded a colleague from work, who had recently been proposed to, to take advantage of the situation, being on friendly terms with him, and explain the importance of marriage.
As a result, their conversation took place, and I knew that on Valentine's Day he would propose to me. It was supposed to be romantic. Expensive restaurant, the atmosphere contributed to the situation. But do you know what I was thinking?
“I will refuse. I will refuse, let it be as unpleasant for him as it was for me all these five years of waiting, and the last couple of years of refusals. I will take revenge."
Can you imagine? The level of accumulated anger went so high that I wanted to act so cruelly.
Exhale. I pulled myself together.
He timidly took out a small box from his pocket and quietly asked:
– Take a knee?
– No, what are you talking about? Relax, that's enough.
“No, what are you talking about? Is your brain completely drained? Like a real slob, I just swam when I saw how my strong man gave up.” He looked at me so timidly, so uncertainly that I was unable to carry out my insidious plan.
– Will you marry me?
– Yes, sure.
And, mind you, she reached out to kiss him. He cried a little, and I had to play. It was a difficult decision for him, and I felt like a bitch.
Can you imagine, girls, as soon as a man sheds a tear, we melt like ice cream in the heat.
This mess. When we cry, they mock, laugh and call us hysterical.
Oh, I'm so angry at myself that I didn't gloat back then.
Although no. Still, there must be greatness in a woman. I would have ruined everything, he would never have proposed marriage to anyone else.
Just for fun, of course, it was worth it. But suddenly my humor wouldn’t come out, and the box would slam shut forever.
I got cold feet and gave in.
Okay, it was worth it. I don't regret it at all. The shame of the refusals of recent years has been forgotten, the hatchet of war is buried deep, there is no need to stir up the old.
And how well you got angry with me just now, you felt it, you really wanted to kill all the men. Well, no need, we still need them. They can be cool kids. I know for sure.
In the next six months, I still hid the “vendetta”. Literally a week after our marriage, we began to quarrel more and more often. By July this was happening every day, and by August, I had already said “goodbye” to him six times and threw the ring on the table.
Of course, we put up with this, he confessed his love to me, and then we fought as if we had hated each other for a hundred years. How do you like this? Was it with someone?
Oh, I know for sure that many have. When people have accumulated a bunch of small sins against each other, which they justify in every possible way, then this does not become a virtue, harm is harm: did not finish cooking the meat, hid the expense, faked an orgasm, did not give money for education, lying that it was not, and in the end this the mountain comes between them, understanding collapses, only accusations remain.
I'm getting ahead of my