LILY had signed up for four weeks at Sydney Harbour. That was approximately three weeks and six days too long. She knew it the moment she turned up for duty that night. Gossip reached her the moment she crossed the threshold.
From the lady in the florist shop on the ground floor, to the orderlies, to the nurses and interns working in Emergency where she’d been rostered, it seemed they all knew what had happened that morning.
They didn’t know her—many of them hadn’t even been working last night—but they knew Luke Williams and it seemed the gossip machine was in overdrive.
A mutual offering of comfort had turned to something stronger, and the hospital gossip machine had flamed the story to the next level. Even before she’d walked out this morning she’d realised the news was flying all over the hospital—that she and Luke Williams had indulged in wild sex in the on-call room.
It had taken sheer willpower to walk back into the Harbour tonight—plus the fact that, thanks to her mother, she was broke. She’d agreed to four weeks and if she didn’t fulfil her contract she’d have to find another agency. This was the only agency that dealt with acute-care hospitals and she didn’t have the money to leave Sydney.
The alternative was to go back home to her mother. And the vicar.
No way.
So get over it, she told herself. She’d been caught in a clinch with the head of plastic surgery. So what? Who cared what these people talked about? In four weeks she could pick up her pay and move on.
How far did she have to run to escape gossip?
For ever if she brought it with her, she told herself, keeping her chin deliberately high. What had she been thinking, letting Luke hold her as he had? She was just like her mother.
Um … no. Her mother would never do what she’d done. Her mother would now be declaring to the world that she was in love, and she’d be destroying anything and anyone she needed in order to get what she wanted. Her mother would get her heart broken and launch herself into suicidal depression when it was over.
Lily had simply made one mistake. She’d been emotionally shattered and she’d fallen into the arms of someone who was equally shattered.
There was no need for everyone to look at her sideways.
They did anyway.
‘Wow.’ Elaine, a woman who’d looked intimidating and severe last night, relaxed enough to greet her with laughter as she appeared at the nurses’ station. ‘Who’s on your list tonight?’ Then at Lily’s expression her smile softened; becoming friendly. ‘Don’t look like that. Lots of women in this place would offer to comfort Luke Williams any way they know how. That man is a walking suit of armour. I don’t know how you managed it but his armour was well and truly pierced last night, and thank heaven for it. Maybe now he can move on.’
‘Move on?’
‘You didn’t know?’ Obviously things were quiet right now, because the senior nurse was ready to talk. ‘Luke’s wife died four years ago. She was gorgeous, a redhead with a temper to match. She had an ectopic pregnancy, went into septic shock and died, and Luke didn’t even know she was pregnant. Since then it’s been like he’s built the Great Wall of China around himself. No one gets near. And then you did.’
‘I don’t usually …’ she managed.
‘Nobody gives a toss what you usually do,’ Elaine said. ‘The fact is that our mighty Dr Williams has been shagged by an agency nurse.’
‘I did not …’
‘It doesn’t matter whether you did or didn’t,’ Elaine said bluntly. ‘Gossip is truth as far as this hospital is concerned, and we’re delighted. Let him try and keep his armour after this. A girl with accommodating morals was just what he needed. Now … we’ve just got word there’s been a boat crash on the harbour, two guys with suspected spinal injuries and a girl with deep facial lacerations expected any minute. I suspect we’ll want you in Theatre again. Scrub?’
‘I … Yes.’ At least this was a vote of confidence. She’d expected to be treated like a pariah. Here she was being handed a position of responsibility.
‘You did great last night,’ Elaine said. ‘In more ways than one. But hands off the rest of our male staff, at least until you’re off duty. You’ve done us a favour with our Luke, but let’s not push things too far.’
And that was that.
A girl with accommodating morals … Everyone was looking at her.
Aaagh.
He’d come close to having sex with an unknown nurse in the on-call room. It was like being a member of the mile-high club, he thought. Sordid and stupid.
Only it hadn’t felt like that at the time.
But that’s how his colleagues were treating it, as a huge joke. Medics had black humour at the best of times. Jessie’s death last night had upset them all and Luke’s out-of-character behaviour was a welcome diversion.
Even Finn commented. ‘About time,’ he growled. ‘Now take her out properly and do it again.’
Huh? He didn’t date. Ever.
He wasn’t starting now.
What had happened? He’d been gutted by the events of the night; he’d found himself in the on-call room simply because he hadn’t had the strength to get back to his apartment without getting some sort of grip on himself, and she’d been there.
He’d lost himself in holding her. She’d felt …
Amazing. Just amazing. From a night where all he could see was black, he’d been lifted into a world of warmth, and strength and laughter. Yes, even laughter. She’d made a gentle joke as the world intruded, she hadn’t let him apologise, she’d slipped away and he’d thought he might not even see her again.
What would have happened if they hadn’t been interrupted? He should feel grateful that they had been—they’d both been well out of control. Instead, strangely, he felt an empty regret. And worry for her. The gossip machine in this hospital was ruthless.
When he’d finished his day’s list he’d gone back to the agency sheet, checked for her address and found a simple ‘To be advised’. So he couldn’t find her even if he wanted to. She was an agency nurse. She might not even turn up tonight.
She did.
Evie called him at dusk.
‘Your lady’s back. She’s contracted to us for four weeks. Are you popping into Emergency tonight by any chance?’
Evie was laughing.
‘I might,’ he conceded.
‘To introduce yourself?’ Evie was definitely laughing.
‘What makes you think I don’t know her?’ he growled before he could stop himself.
‘You know her? I thought this was lust at first sight.’
‘Leave it alone,’ he told her. ‘I’m coming in.’
‘The lady’s busy,’ Evie said. ‘We’re run off our feet. She goes off duty at six; you can come and take her home.’
They met before that. The woman with lacerations needed someone with real skill if she wasn’t to be scarred for life. Once again he found himself in Theatre, with Lily as second scrub.
This wasn’t a life-and-death situation. Becky Martin would survive with barely a scar from her drunken joy ride in a powerboat, and the mood in the theatre was a far cry from last night’s trauma.
But it was also a far cry from the usual relaxed theatre. Everyone was watching Luke—and Lily. One glance between them and it’d start again.
No. They didn’t even have to glance for the gossip to keep going, Luke thought. This hospital used gossip as a means to dispel tension, and what they’d done last night had started a wildfire that only time would extinguish.
Or Lily leaving.
She might. She looked strained and flushed.
She was working with professional competence, anticipating well, displaying skills he valued. Even so, he wasn’t sure he wanted her here. He didn’t like his staff distracted and they were distracted by her.
That wasn’t fair, he thought grimly. She was being judged because she’d tried to comfort him.
His colleagues thought his actions were amusing. They saw her as … easy.
That was a harsh judgement by any standards.
He put in the last suture, stood back from the table and sighed.
‘Well done, Luke,’ his anaesthetist said. ‘Great job. You deserve a wee rest. I hear the on-call room’s free. Nurse Ellis, maybe you’re free, too?’
‘Leave it,’ he growled, and watched in concern as Lily started to clear.
The junior nurse was sniggering.
He needed to talk to her, he thought. He needed to apologise.
Not in the on-call room.
He was due to sleep. Lily was on duty all night. He’d come in at change-over, he decided. He’d see her then.
Not in the on-call room.
Luke disappeared and she could get on with her night’s work. Which was just as well. The guy was distracting, to say the least, and the staff reaction was well nigh unbearable. With him gone she could lose herself in what needed to be done.
She felt mortified. She was also feeling … ill? Her stomach cramps were getting worse, and now there was nausea on top of them.
She’d left Lighthouse Cove to get rid of the tension that was making her sick. In two days here, she’d only created more tension.
‘You’re looking pale,’ Elaine said in passing. ‘You’d better not be coming down with gastro. Half this hospital’s had it, but I thought we were past the worst. Are you feeling okay?’
‘I’m just tired,’ Lily said. ‘I’ve had a hard …’ She caught Elaine’s gaze and stopped. ‘I mean …’
‘No, no, I understand,’ Elaine said, grinning. ‘You and Luke … I’d imagine he can be very tiring. But according to Dr Blain, who heard it from Dr Lockheart, word is you already know him. Is that right? Why did you make me tell you about him if you’re old friends?’
‘I—’
‘I know he keeps to himself, but if he pairs up with someone who does the same thing we’re in real trouble,’ Elaine said. ‘Apparently he’s coming to take you home at six. If you make it that long.’ Her eyes narrowed. ‘You’re looking sick as a dog. Tell you what, you stick round the nurses’ station until handover and finish the paperwork there. If you’re coming down with gastro, we don’t want you near patients.’
‘I’m just tired—and I don’t need anyone to take me home.’
‘It’s not anyone, it’s Luke Williams. Paperwork for you, my girl, and then let your lover take you home to bed.’
Lily had felt bad before. She tackled her paperwork feeling infinitely worse.
Luke found her in the locker room, preparing to leave.
He could have gone the whole four weeks of her contract without seeing her again, he thought. With the gastro outbreak almost over, staff levels were nearly back to normal. He could easily arrange for her not to be rostered to Theatre with him.
He could pretend the encounter had never happened.
Finn used women to forget, Luke thought. Maybe he could, too.
Only … there was something about Lily that made him think it hadn’t been a casual embrace. That her need had been almost as great as his.
A lesser man wouldn’t need to ask why, but for some reason this didn’t feel like a simple matter of honour. It was how she’d made him feel. It had been the generosity of her body, the smile behind her eyes, the touch of her …
He’d remember it, he thought, and he honoured her for it.
And she was being labelled because of it. The least he could do was thank her and apologise.
He opened the locker-room door and she turned to face him. She looked white faced. A bit unsteady on her feet. Wobbling?
He crossed the room in four long strides to reach her. Gripped her shoulders. Steadied her.
‘Hey …’
‘It’s … it’s okay,’ she said, and hauled away to plonk herself down on the wooden bench. ‘I’m just having a queasy moment.’
‘You’re not pregnant, are you?’
She gave him a look that would have withered lesser men. It was the look he deserved.
What had made him say that? Of all the ridiculous …
‘We didn’t make it that far, Superman,’ she retorted. ‘You don’t get pregnant by kissing, no matter how hot you think you are.’
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, with feeling. ‘That was dumb. Plus offensive. But you’re ill.’
‘I suspect,’ she said with as much dignity as she could muster, ‘that I’m coming down with this blasted gastroenteritis that half this hospital seems to have suffered. You should have a huge skull and crossbones on the entrance with a sign saying “Abandon hope all ye who enter here”.’
‘Or abandon the contents of your stomach.’
‘Don’t,’ she begged. ‘Go away.’
‘Let me take you home.’
She glared. ‘Tell me you don’t have a car with leather upholstery and I might be interested.’
‘I do,’ he admitted. ‘But we can go via Emergency and get a supply of sick bags. I had it last week so I won’t get infected.’
‘You might have infected me.’
‘Then that’d be yet another thing I need to apologise for,’ he said grimly, and took her elbows, propelling her up. ‘We’ll organise you a shot of metoclopramide for the nausea. Then we’ll take some paper bags and take you home and to bed.’
‘No.’
‘No?’
‘I mean, yes, please,’ she said with as much dignity as she could muster. ‘Only I need to spend ten minutes in the bathroom first.’
They didn’t speak on the way to the address she’d given him. She didn’t lose her dignity, but he could see she was holding onto it with every shred of effort she could muster. One shot of metoclopramide was barely holding it.
She wasn’t what she’d seemed. Questions were crowding in, but his medical training told him that breaking her concentration would be unwise. So he focused on driving, found the address, pulled up in front of a boarding house that looked as if it had seen better days and watched in astonishment as she struggled out of the car.
‘You don’t live here?’
‘No,’ she said, closing the car door with care, as if it was a really tricky task. ‘I’m staying here. Thank you for bringing me home.’ And she headed for the gate.
He was out of the car, through the gate, stopping her.
‘Don’t stop me,’ she pleaded. ‘I need …’
‘I know this place,’ he said. ‘When I was an intern we averaged one drug overdose a week from this dump.’
She was trying to shove past him, looking increasingly desperate. ‘It’s only until payday. It has a bathroom. Please …’
She was nothing to do with him, he told himself. This was none of his business. He’d brought her home. He’d done what he had to do.
But … she’d held him. She’d stopped his grief from stripping him raw.
She’d lightened his life.
That had to be an overstatement, he told himself. One crazy impulse did not mean emotional change. She’d simply been there when he’d needed her, had responded to his need, had maybe used him to assuage her own needs.
Her own needs were pretty apparent now. She’d broken from him and was doubled over behind a scrubby hedge. The garden was filthy.
Questions.
She was a skilled theatre nurse from a town he remembered as being quiet and beautiful.
His colleagues had her labelled as wanton.
She’d held him.
Whatever she was, he couldn’t leave her here.
She was crouched, trembling, in the filthy garden, sweaty and sick, and he knew he had no choice.
He waited for the spasms to cease. Then, giving her no chance to argue, he stooped and lifted her into his arms and carried her back to his car. He deposited her back into the passenger seat before she knew what he was doing.
‘What’s your room number?’ he demanded.
‘T-twelve.’ She could barely speak. ‘But—’
‘Give me your key.’
‘I don’t …’
He took her purse from her limp grasp and retrieved the key.
‘Don’t argue and don’t move,’ he said, and headed for the house.
She didn’t go anywhere. How could she? That last episode had left her wanting to do nothing so much as to lie down and die. Her bed in the boarding house was lumpy and none too clean, but it was a bed and right now she wanted it more than anything else in the world. Only her legs didn’t feel like they’d take her anywhere.
After the week she’d had, it needed only this. Of all the stupid hospitals she had to temp in, it had to be Sydney Harbour Hospital during a gastro epidemic.
She wanted to die.
Why was she sitting in Luke’s car?
It was too hard to do anything else.
She closed her eyes and he was back again, carrying her suitcase. That got through … sort of. ‘What …?’ She was trying to get her thoughts in order. She wasn’t succeeding.
‘You’re not staying here,’ Luke said grimly. ‘This place is drug bust central.’ Then his face sort of … changed. He slid into the driver’s seat and pushed up her uniform sleeves.
She got that. No matter that she was dying … he thought she was a crackhead?
Enough. There were some things up with which a girl did not put. Or something. She wasn’t making sense even to herself, but as he tried to check her pupils she found the strength to haul back her hand and slap him. Straight across his cheek with all the strength she could muster. Which wasn’t actually very much. He recoiled but not far, then caught her hands in his before she could do it again.
‘Just checking,’ he said, mildly.
‘I drink champagne every time I get a pay rise,’ she managed through gritted teeth. ‘I’m addicted to romance novels and chocolate. I once got a speeding ticket and a parking fine all in the one month. Evil doesn’t begin to describe me—but I don’t do drugs.’ She tried, very badly, not to sob, as she hauled her hands away from his and fumbled for the door catch.
‘No.’ He leaned over and tugged the door closed, took her shoulders and twisted her to face him. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Me, too. Let me out.’
‘I’m taking you home.’
‘I am home.’
‘My home.’
‘You don’t want a junkie at home.’
‘You’re not a junkie,’ he said wearily. ‘I’ve seen enough to know I’ve mortally offended you. Can I start making amends?’
‘There’s no need …’ But her stomach wasn’t up to arguing. Another cramp hit and she doubled over.
He handed her a paper bag but she didn’t need it. There was nothing left.
He waited for the spasms to cease, then magically produced moist wipes. ‘Paper bags and wipes from Emergency,’ he said softly as he cupped her chin in one hand and washed her face. She was so limp she couldn’t argue. ‘You get parking tickets. I steal wipes. Criminals both. You want to do a Thelma and Louise and run for the border?’
‘I … No.’
‘Thought not,’ he said, and fastened her seat belt for her. ‘Let’s find you an alternative.’
His surgical list started at eight and he made it only fifteen minutes late. This morning was his private list, cosmetic surgery. The woman he was treating had travelled overseas to get cheek implants, a reshaped nose and liposuction for her thighs. She’d got what she’d paid for and she hadn’t paid much. She’d ended up with a perforation of the nasal septum, a nasal obstruction and nasal deformity. One of her cheek implants had slipped, which meant her face was weirdly lopsided and her thighs were … undulating. She had lumps and bumps all over the place.
He wasn’t working on her legs this morning. He’d remove the cheek implants first—he wasn’t the least sure of their quality and the last thing she needed was one to burst. Then he needed to focus on revision rhinoplasty and repair of the septal perforation.
She’d need further procedures and he couldn’t be sure she’d look as good as she had when she’d started.
Cosmetic surgery could sometimes be brilliant, restoring self-image, but this time it had been a disaster.
The surgery he’d had as a child had been brilliant.
Luke’s childhood had been made miserable by a massive port wine birthmark almost covering one side of his face. His parents, cold and emotionally detached, had decreed it was simply ‘character building’, but when he’d been fourteen his uncle had stepped in.
‘I’ve arranged the best plastic surgeon I can afford,’ he’d told his father. ‘The kid’s getting that off his face whether you like it or not.’
His uncle was a bachelor, taciturn, unsentimental, refusing thanks. He and the plastic surgeon he’d found had changed Luke’s life and had set him on the path he was on now.
His uncle’s farm had been lifesaving as well. It still was. Even though his uncle was as emotionally distant as the rest of his family, his farm had been a retreat from the world.
He hadn’t been to the farm for two weeks now and he was missing it. Maybe he could take off for a few days. Leave his apartment to Lily. Whoever Lily was.
Not a junkie. An unanswered question.
Don’t get close.
‘So tell me about your lady of the night.’ Finn’s voice from the doorway to his office made him start. Dammit, he should be used to it. He wasn’t. ‘My what?’
‘Your one-night stand. Or your one-morning stand. You planning to make it two mornings?’
‘Leave it,’ he growled. He thought of Lily as he’d left her, huddled in his bed, so sick she could hardly acknowledge he was leaving. He’d stayed with her for an hour and made sure the retching had stopped. He’d left her with fluids, and he knew all she needed was sleep, but still he’d hated leaving her.
And somehow … for some reason he hated this hospital thinking she was … his one-night stand.
Sydney Harbour Hospital. It should read Sydney Scandal Central, he thought. Any hint of gossip was through the place in minutes. A team of skilled medics working long hours under intense pressure, in teams where they were thrown together in emotionally charged scenarios over and over, made for a hotbed of scandal. Up until now he hadn’t added to it.
It drove him crazy, though, the fact that he was being watched all the time. ‘When’s our aloof Dr Williams going to crack and prove he’s human?’
He was aware he was a target; he was aware there were bets—first woman to break his icy barricade. Even a couple of the gay guys had tried.
The gossips would be relentless now, he thought. A one-night stand … They wouldn’t stop.
And Lily? She’d signed up for four weeks’ work and she was labelled from this moment forth.
She was in his bed. They’d find that out in about two seconds flat. Other medics lived in his apartment block, Kirribilli Views. Hell, his cleaning lady was due in there this afternoon. By the time she’d finished dusting, the news would be all over Sydney.
‘She’s not a one-night stand,’ he found himself saying, before he even knew he intended saying it. ‘I already told Dr Lockheart that. I’ve known Lily for years.’
‘Years?’ Finn raised his brows in disbelief. Finn Kennedy made stronger doctors than Luke nervous, Luke thought. The man just had to raise one of those supercilious eyebrows and minions were supposed to quake.
But Luke was still thinking of Lily retching. This was no time for quaking. Or for disbelief.
‘Why do you think she’s here?’ he demanded. ‘We wanted to see if we could make a go of it.’
‘You were checking her records.’
‘I was making sure they’d got her address right. We used a boarding-house address as cover, intending to keep our relationship private a bit longer.’
‘By snogging on the on-call couch?’
‘Yeah, that wasn’t exactly wise,’ he admitted. ‘She was waiting for me after finishing work. I found her and …’ He closed his eyes. ‘The kid had just died. Sure, what happened was inappropriate, but Lily’s a big-hearted woman. She held me first, asked questions later.’
‘You’re in a relationship. What the—?’
‘This hospital thinks it knows everything about me,’ Luke said wearily. ‘It doesn’t.’
The door to his office was open. Their voices were carrying, which was just what Luke intended.
Everyone knew what had happened in the on-call room. They were labelling Lily because of it, but if they thought Lily and Luke were in an established relationship she’d be treated with respect. He’d already hinted at it to Evie. Why not take it further?
Maybe this was the least he could do. Where women were concerned he always did the least he could do, he thought grimly, but this time …
‘You bring your woman to work here without telling us about the relationship?’ For some reason Finn’s disbelief was giving way to anger.
‘What of it?’ It was Evie, just passing. Like half the hospital. How many medics used this corridor, and how carrying was Finn’s voice?
Answer—very carrying.
‘It’s deception,’ Finn growled.
‘What, not telling us who he’s sleeping with?’ Evie demanded. ‘What gives us the right to know?’
‘We’re a team.’
‘If we are you have an odd way of treating team members,’ Evie snapped. ‘Leave Luke alone. It’s his business.’
‘If he wants to bring his—’
‘Luke’s your friend,’ Evie said, closing the door. ‘You want to make this worse?’
‘I have a patient being sedated,’ Luke said warily. Sparks flew whenever these two got close and he didn’t want to be in the middle. He needed to leave. Now.
‘I’m so pleased,’ Evie was saying warmly, and she hugged him. ‘She’s a very competent nurse. I agree you should have told us, but …’ she cast a disparaging glance at Finn ‘… I can see why you wouldn’t. She looked bad though when she left this morning. Is she okay?’
‘She has gastro,’ Luke said. ‘Remind me to speak to Admin. She’ll have got it here; she’ll get paid for time off or I’ll take it further.’
‘She needs time off?’
‘Yes.’
‘Where is she now?’ Finn growled, and Luke fixed his friend with a challenging stare.
‘At home,’ he said. ‘In my bed.’
‘How wonderful,’ Evie said happily. ‘Lily and Luke … Ooh, I love it.’ She cast a cheeky look at Finn. ‘Maybe it’s time you tried a solid relationship, Mr Kennedy.’
‘In your dreams,’ Finn snapped.
‘Aren’t you having one?’ Luke asked.
‘He’s been seen with Mariette from Accounts,’ Evie said, disparagingly. ‘Not exactly a long-term proposition, that one.’
‘Will you butt out?’ Finn was almost explosive.
‘Like you butted out of Luke’s love life?’ Evie retorted. ‘Certainly, Mr Kennedy. Can I walk you to Theatre, Dr Williams?’
‘Yes,’ Luke said with relief.
‘And tell me about Lily on the way. Leave nothing out. First sight, first touch, first kiss. The whole romantic fantasy.’
Fantasy, Luke thought. She had it right there.
Lily woke as someone was vacuuming right through the door.
There were sunbeams on her counterpane. Her counterpane?
She was lying in the middle of a king-sized bed, on down-filled pillows, ensconced in crisp, white sheets and fleecy blankets.
The room was spacious, painted in cool soft greys, with white drapes—masculine but not too harsh.
The focus of the room was the floor-length picture windows, and through the windows Sydney Harbour.
She could see the Manly ferry chugging across the harbour. She could see the opera house.
A sunbeam was on her nose.
The cramps had stopped. She wriggled, very carefully. The nausea had gone as well.
She’d died and gone to heaven.
She was in Luke Williams’s bed.
It didn’t matter whose bed she was in, she decided. Anyone with a bed like this was a friend for life.
Was she more like her mother than she’d thought?
Even that concept wasn’t enough to spoil what she was feeling right now. Like life might be possible again.
A tap on the door. ‘Come in.’ She hauled her sheets to her chin, expecting … Luke? Instead a chubby little lady in a floral pinafore peered round the door, looking anxious.
‘Are you awake, dear? I didn’t want to disturb you, only I popped my nose round the door an hour ago and saw you hadn’t drunk anything. I think Dr Williams would like you to drink. Would you like a cup of tea?’
Lily thought about it. She had many things to think about, but right now tea was pretty much the limit of her brain power.
‘I’d love one.’
‘With lots of sugar.’ The lady beamed. ‘I’m Gladys Henderson and I do for Dr Williams. I do for other doctors in this apartment block as well but he’s my favourite. But he’s in my bad books for not telling me you were coming. They tell me you’ve had quite the romance and then you just start doing night duty and no one knew. And now to get this nasty bug … But we’re all so pleased for Dr Williams. He’s ever so nice and we’ve been thinking he goes up to that farm of his all the time with only his old uncle, and he stares at nothing and just thinks and thinks about that poor young wife of his. But she’s four years dead, and we’re so pleased … well, not pleased she’s dead, of course, but pleased as Punch that he’s got a young lady. And that’s enough from me; you don’t want me standing here gabbling for ever. I’ll make you a nice cup of tea and plump your pillows and then you settle down and sleep until the doctor comes home. Ooh, I do love a good romance.’
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