Buch lesen: «Bringing Emma Home»

CHAPTER ONE

GRACE FELLOWES REMEMBERED the exact moment her life changed forever. She’d been sitting in her high-school math class trying to work on a calculus problem when Aidan Fellowes slid into the desk next to her and smiled that smile of his that made her heart lift and turn over in her chest. She remembered feeling light-headed and dizzy, his smile fueling her breathlessness.

She tried not to blush—not a cool thing to do. Yet every bone in her body, every part of her being was alive to him, to the way his eyes focused on her and the way her body warmed, despite the fact he hadn’t touched her.

She remembered when their eyes met, when he took the pencil from her fingers and showed her how to solve the problem. She remembered the fall leaves raining down around them, offering a crackling melody under their feet as they crossed the school parking lot to his Jeep. As they reached his vehicle, he took her hand, and from that moment, there was no one else for her but him.

Now, sitting in their bedroom in a solitary wingback chair, with the beginning tendrils of early light slipping around the bedroom drapes, her love for her husband was even stronger than it had been eighteen years ago when they first met. Glancing across the room to where Aidan lay sprawled on the bed, her gaze followed the line of his cheek as he slept, the easy movement of his chest as he breathed deeply, and she considered climbing back into bed with him.

Her fingers trembled as they traced the edge of her wedding band and diamond solitaire while the anxious ache brought on by the past held her in the chair, unable to go to him. They had been married for ten years and really focused on getting pregnant for nearly seven years, which meant that Aidan had left a lot of the out-of-town travel to visit clients to her brother, Lucas Barton. They were partners in a computer engineering firm they’d started when they’d both graduated from university.

Yet despite the sacrifices, despite how hard she and Aidan had tried, how much testing they’d gone through, she had to face the fact that she would not give birth to a baby she could hold and love with all her heart.

As their last failed chance to have a baby of their own crushed her dream of becoming pregnant, she finally decided to broach the topic of adopting a baby. Last night she’d cooked Aidan’s favorite meal—shrimp and grits—and made his favorite dessert, chocolate cake. She’d spent days preparing the meal and rehearsing what she’d say.

She’d been so excited after dinner, unable to stop repeating the story of Cecilia and Dave, her friends, and their new baby boy, James Patrick Adair. When she mentioned that she’d put a call in to the same adoption lawyer their friends used, she’d waited for Aidan to respond, to say anything that gave her hope he might be willing to adopt. He hadn’t.

Later, when they’d gone to bed, Aidan had turned away from her, leaving her disappointed and feeling completely alone. More than anything, she’d wanted him to hold her, to tell her that they would see the lawyer about an adoption as soon as his schedule allowed. She would have gladly accepted his need to put off that appointment for a bit because of his busy work life. She would even have accepted his asking to think about it awhile, plan for the changes adoption might mean. Anything to feel that there was still a chance for a baby to complete their life together.

What hurt even more was that he hadn’t made love to her, hadn’t tried to soothe her feelings of emptiness. Back when they were trying so desperately to get pregnant, their lovemaking had become more mandatory than spontaneous. But since they’d stopped trying, they’d rediscovered the joy of making love in their king-size bed.

She glanced around the room, remembering how happy she’d been when they bought this home with its four bedrooms—bedrooms she’d hoped to fill with their children. Her gaze returned to Aidan’s face, relaxed in sleep, and she felt even more determined to encourage him to talk about adoption.

He stirred and her heart soared. She rose and went to the bed, sat beside him, soaking in his scent, smoothing the tufts of his glossy auburn hair mussed by the pillow. “Are you awake?” she whispered.

“Hmm.” He reached up, his fingers trailing through her blond hair, tantalizing her with his touch, the feel of his skin on hers, the very presence of him filling her with joy.

He moved the sheets back, his arm reaching out to surround her. “Get in here, woman. I’m not ready to get up just yet, and you don’t need to sit in the cool air,” he said, his voice deep, his smoldering look banishing everything but her need for him.

She snuggled in, pulling the sheet over her half-naked body. “What were you doing up so early?” he asked, kissing her chin, his hands smoothing the hair from her face. “You’re not up checking your temperature, are you?” He gave her an inquiring glance. “I thought we were done with that.” He pushed a pillow under his shoulders, pulling her tighter into his embrace and kissing her, a long, slow kiss that melted every bone in her body.

“We are,” she said, her throat feeling blocked while the memories played around her mind—the hope, the effort, the beautifully decorated nursery, the agony of loss...all of it for nothing. What should have been happy, wonderful years of starting a family had become the most desolate time of her life.

He tucked her close to his side, his lips brushing her forehead. “This is hard for you, and for me, but the doctors had to tell us the truth. We have to accept that. We’ve got to move on.”

“I know. But weren’t you excited about my news last night?” she asked, stroking his chin, watching to see how he’d respond. Maybe after a night’s sleep he was ready to talk about when they could see the adoption lawyer.

He sighed. “We need to really think about this a little more. After what we’ve been through, it’s a huge decision.”

“I realize that.” She continued to gently touch his face, feeling the light stubble there. He didn’t pull away as he had last night. “But the adoption lawyer has made such a big difference in Cecilia and Dave’s life. I want to talk to him. I decided to call his office to see if we could get an appointment...if you’re willing to go with me.”

“What was his name again?”

“Sterling Martin. I told you all of this last night,” she said, feeling frustrated but trying to hide it. “His office is just off King Street. He specializes in private adoptions. Cecilia and Dave are so happy with their new baby. James P is such a perfect child.”

Aidan’s fingers trailed along her collarbone, something he did whenever they talked about having a child. “Honey, I know how important this is to you. To us. But just this once, can we wake up and think about something else? Like maybe a vacation to Europe. We always said we wanted to go. Remember? All those times we watched our friends take off on vacation to some place interesting while we stayed home because of your worries about what could happen if you conceived while we were out of the country.”

His words stung. She understood his feelings and, at times, had shared them. But he didn’t understand how much she needed a baby. Her arms ached every time one of her friends had a baby. Then, when Cecilia and Dave had adopted, Grace finally felt hopeful over the possibility she and Aidan might, too. He simply needed more time to think about it, and she was willing to wait. “Sure. Why don’t I make breakfast for us? I promise not to talk about adoption.”

“That’s my girl. All I really want to do is spend time with you. Just you. Would that be okay?”

“I would love that,” she said, recognizing the expression on his face. He wasn’t going to talk about a child right now. It was up to her to accept that and have a pleasant breakfast with him. But that didn’t mean she was giving up. Not a chance.

Suddenly, she brightened. She knew what she’d do. She would invite Cecilia and Dave to dinner, maybe a good Southern barbecue evening. Cecilia’s praise for Sterling Martin would carry more sway than anything Grace herself could say at this point. Aiden had a great deal of respect for Cecilia, one of the computer engineers in his firm.

He rubbed her shoulder, his fingers circling the skin over her collarbone—a clear sign that Aidan had something on his mind, something he wasn’t ready to share with her. “What is it, honey?”

He sighed. “Just thinking that it would be nice if you came with me today. I have a client I have to see in downtown Charleston. But I want you with me.” He held her closer, running his lips along her hairline, driving her crazy with need. “Once I’m finished, we could have lunch, take a carriage ride around historic Charleston, buy something for your garden at one of the stalls at the market. We’ve often talked about going into the city and spending time wandering the shops. Why don’t we do it today? I want you with me,” he repeated slowly, his gaze searching her face, coming to rest on her lips.

“Oh, Aidan, I want that, too, but I promised Cecilia that we’d meet for lunch.” She looked into his hazel-green eyes, seeing the disappointment. Trying to soften the blow, she whispered, “I wish you’d come by and see this little baby. You will not be able to resist him.”

* * *

THE OLD GUILT swirled around Aidan’s mind. He didn’t want to talk about babies or adoption or anything related to that today. He wanted his wife to pay attention to him and only him, to focus on their relationship. That was all he’d wanted for the past seven years: her undivided attention on him and their love for each other. Was that so much to ask?

He’d done everything she wanted, raced home when she called him, tried to console her when each attempt to conceive failed. But at times it hardly seemed worth it. Their marriage had become a marathon of waiting, hoping and frantic lovemaking, all to try to have a baby.

He didn’t want to remember the one time he’d slipped up, but that weekend entered his mind, as it had a few minutes ago. It had happened five years ago and was long over. He’d hooked up with a woman, a client whose business was in Spartanburg. He’d never heard from her again after that one weekend, and didn’t intend to renew any contact. All the same, he felt guilty about how much he had enjoyed having a woman’s attention focused solely on him. He scrubbed his face with his hands to hide the memory of how that weekend had felt. Sighing, he turned to Grace. “Are you sure you can’t come with me?”

“I’d have to call and cancel lunch with Cecilia, and I want to see James again.” Grace sighed as she snuggled closer to him.

He soaked in her smile, felt the old pull of attraction that had been there between them since the day they’d met in high school.

His eyes focused on hers, he saw the glint of desire there, and his mind raced over the possibilities. She was everything he’d ever wanted in a woman, a wife. There had to be some way to convince her to come to Charleston with him. “Why don’t I book a suite at the Planters Inn? We could go out to dinner, or order room service, a bottle of wine...just the two of us. We haven’t stayed downtown in Charleston in years. What do you say?”

“A night in Charleston?” she asked.

“Or two nights, if you’d like. Beautiful surroundings, all the amenities. Think fluffy robes, nothing on under them. Pure luxury in a suite all to ourselves. Me reaching for you,” he whispered in her ear, hearing her breath quicken as his body hardened.

He kissed her lips, felt her body curve into his. His blood hot, his body arching toward hers, he felt her immediate response as if it was imprinted into his consciousness.

“I would do anything for you, Aidan Caldwell Fellowes,” she said, her lips on his throat, her breath searing his skin.

“And me for you,” he whispered, pulling her under him as his lips sought the soft skin between her breasts.

Her quick intake of breath was all he needed. He continued to kiss her skin, moving his tongue along the space between her breasts. “If you come with me to Charleston, I promise you the best time you’ve ever had, Mrs. Fellowes.” He raised his gaze to hers. “You will not regret a minute of the time you spend with me.”

She sighed, her hands stroking his face, her skin flushed pink.

He eased his hands over her tummy, down along her hips, hugging her body against his. “What do you say?”

She looked deep into his eyes, her lips parted, her hair spread across the pillow. “You never cease to amaze me, Aidan,” she whispered, her fingers continuing their course over his cheek, down his neck.

“How so?” he asked, loving this game, this moment when she would succumb to him. It had always been that way. He would entice her with something, a dinner out, a trip, a night in, just the two of them. Until recently, Grace had always gone along with his plans. And now, with the whole issue of a baby settled, he wanted them to go back to the beginning, back to the way things were.

“I agree we need to get away, time to ourselves. It would be really nice to spend a couple days in Charleston. You win, my love. I’ll cancel my lunch date.”

He kissed her, cradling her head in his hands. “Thank you. You won’t regret going with me. Besides, how can you resist the chance to have me all to yourself?” he teased, aware of the times he’d wanted her to go away with him when he’d be gone for days without her, and she’d remained at home, either for a doctor’s appointment, redecorating the baby’s room or a quilting event.

“Aidan, I love you,” she whispered as her body writhed under his caress, a groan of pleasure escaping her lips.

“And I love you,” he murmured against her skin.

Two hours later, he and Grace arrived in Charleston. “Why don’t I drop you somewhere along King Street, give you a little time to shop? And before you say anything about the cost, I want you to buy whatever you want. Promise me you’ll do that,” he said.

She smiled at him, her body still humming from the time they’d spent in bed making love. It was as if everything that had stood between them, all the pain and uncertainty of the past few years, had slipped away. It was as if they were back to the way they’d been when they first got married.

Aidan was so right about what they needed—the time together without anyone interfering. She smiled at the memory of those early morning hours. As they’d packed to leave, joking and talking with each other the way they once had, she was certain they would work everything out.

She was confident that this trip was meant to be. The next couple of days together would work its magic on them. She’d never stayed at the Planters Inn, but she’d heard about it from a friend who had spent her wedding night in one of its beautiful suites. Grace had helped her plan her big day and had seen the photos of the inn, all gold and cream with deep hues of blue and roses everywhere. She couldn’t imagine a more perfect place for a getaway. “I promise to buy whatever I see that I like,” she offered, stroking his arm.

“Perfect. I’ll call you the second I’m out of my meeting and we’ll go for a late lunch,” he said, navigating the tight lanes of traffic leading toward Broad Street, the hallmark of Charleston civility.

“I wish we’d planned to do this with Lucas and Maria. She’s such a great shopper, and we always have a good time together. I was never so happy as when Lucas arrived back from a business trip to Spartanburg to tell me he’d met the woman of his dreams. Do you think they’ll get married? I mean, Lucas talks about her all the time, and I want him to be as happy as we are.”

“Lucas and Maria are not on my mind at all. They have their life and we have ours,” he said, his gaze direct, a small furrow forming between his eyes as he turned to her. “All I want is to let the world go away and you and I focus on us,” he said as he maneuvered the large SUV into a narrow parking spot.

“Okay. No more talk about anyone or anything but us,” she said. She didn’t want anything to ruin their minivacation. Reaching across the wide console, she squeezed his hand where it rested on the steering wheel. “I can’t wait for you to be finished. You’re right. We need to get away. Starting today, we’ll plan to do something like this once a month. We deserve time alone together, don’t we?”

“Exactly. Why can’t we just take off, act like a pair of teenagers in love? The way we used to do,” he said, his smile intimate, wrapping around her, signaling that whatever was bothering him had gone.

She kissed him quickly. “After I’m done shopping, I’ll call a cab and go to the inn. I’ll check in and be waiting for you. Just for you, I’m going to buy something really sexy to wear tonight.” She kissed him again before she reached for the door handle. “You’d better be ready,” she teased, seeing the love in his eyes. Her body tingled. “I’ll order a bottle of champagne.”

He pulled her to him and kissed her, his mouth moving over hers in a way that made her weak with desire. “I can’t wait, woman.” His smile radiated happiness as his lips brushed hers. “I’ll see you later. We’ll order room service and you can model your latest purchase...before I remove it.”

* * *

FIVE HOURS LATER, Aidan lay sprawled on the bed, Grace in his arms, the sheets crumpled around them, his need for her completely sated.

“You are the most beautiful woman in the world,” he said, his throat filled with emotion as unexpected tears tingled behind his lids. He hadn’t felt this way for a very long time. He’d come to the inn and been met at the door of their suite by his wife dressed in a skimpy lace item that covered just enough and hinted at a lot more. He’d fallen into bed with her, and they’d had the best afternoon of lovemaking he could remember.

Slowly he kissed her lips, his fingers caressing her cheek. “I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you.”

She returned his kiss. “I love you, too, so much,” she whispered, her gaze on him and only him.

“I’ve missed this,” he said, his heart filled to overflowing.

“What do you mean?” She toyed with the hair on his chest.

“The way we made love, the closeness, the sheer excitement of simply enjoying each other.”

She pulled back a little. “But we’ve always—”

He placed his fingers gently over her lips to silence her. “Not like this. Not with this intensity and simply for the sheer pleasure of being with each other.”

Her gaze never left his face, and he saw the shimmer of unshed tears in her eyes.

“I don’t mean to say we haven’t made love to each other these past years, but there was always the other—”

“We’ve been over this before,” she said, her voice soft with a tinge of hurt.

Aidan wished he’d said nothing. “I’m sorry. This has been fantastic, and I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s just that I feel like I have you back. The Grace I married and have loved for so long. That’s all I meant. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“Me, too,” she said, her voice wistful.

“Then let’s not think about anything other than ourselves for the next two days. If I have my way, we won’t leave this room. We won’t need to.” He leaned up on one elbow and smiled at her. “I don’t ever want to leave this bed, but I am a little hungry. Why don’t I order room service? Another bottle of champagne, even?” He winked at her.

Grace chuckled. “You think you’ll get me a little tipsy and have your way with me again?”

“I’ve already had my way with you. Or did I leave such a poor impression that you didn’t notice?” he asked, kissing her again, feeling the heat rise, the tremble of her lips against his.

“I noticed,” she whispered, her hands moving over his chest, feeding his desire.

He held her close, his mouth claiming hers, his hands spreading across her back, moving down her body, her answering intake of breath music to his ears. “Yes,” he whispered against her lips. “We will put food on hold for a while longer—”

The chime of his cell phone startled him. “What was that?”

“I thought you turned your phone off,” she said leaning across him, her breasts skimming his chest. “I’ll do it for you. No more interruptions.”

He let her slide across him, enjoying the feel of her body on his. “Whoever is calling can wait.”

Grace picked up the phone and turned it off. “There. You don’t know how much pleasure I get from turning off your phone. Do you realize that it’s always on? That we’re always at the mercy of that piece of plastic?” she asked, sliding her body down his, making his breath quicken as her fingers trembled over his heated skin.

“You can turn my phone off anytime, Mrs. Fellowes, if this is what you intend to do while it’s off,” he said, his hands reaching for her shoulders, his body arching toward hers.

“This and a whole lot more,” she murmured as her gaze met his, the love in her eyes fueling his need for her. He stretched out in the bed, luxuriating in her touch, anticipating every move her body made along his.

The room phone blared.

Grace sighed and shifted to lie next to him. “What is going on?”

“It must be important, or maybe it’s the inn wondering if we need anything. Either way,” he said, reaching for the sleek black phone on the bedside table, “I’ll take care of it and we can get back to...” He looked into her eyes, saw her excitement and almost didn’t pick up the phone. “I’ll get this over as fast as I can.”

He grabbed the phone.

“Aidan, it’s Nancy. Sorry to interrupt, but I’ve had an urgent call from a lawyer in Spartanburg. He insists on talking to you now. He’s on the other line to be transferred to you.”

“Did he say what he wanted?”

“No. Just that he needed to talk to you as soon as possible. There seems to be some sort of emergency.”

He exchanged surprised glances with Grace. “But Lucas looks after our clients in Spartanburg. Did you tell him that?”

“I did, but he said it’s a personal matter, that he needs to speak to you directly.”

“Okay, put him on,” Aidan said with a sigh, pulling Grace closer as he settled in to hear what the man had to say.