Buch lesen: «The Love Trilogy»

For Ann-Marie

Chapter One

‘This could have been your party, you know.’ Lily’s mother, Evelyn, ran a critical eye over the crowd of guests filling Cora’s parents’ house with polite chitchat and discussions about wedding favours. The terrace doors were flung open to let in the late spring sunshine, the party spilling out onto the patio, breathing in the sickly sweet smells of Mrs Harper’s perfectly landscaped flower gardens.

Lily, for her part, planned on staying as close to the drinks table as she could manage.

‘Fond though they are of me, I don’t think the Harpers would necessarily throw me an engagement party in their house.’ Lily repressed a shudder at the thought. An engagement party came just below root canal surgery on her list of things she wanted. A whole room of people telling her how happy they were she was finally settling down, for her mother’s sake. And then indulging in a recital of every time Lily had screwed up as a teenager. Not fun. No, her engagement and wedding would be about Lily and Edward – no one else. Small, intimate and meaningful, that was what she wanted. ‘Besides, they already have their own daughter’s engagement and wedding to deal with.’

Across the room, Lily’s best friend Cora sparkled with excitement, rivalling even the sizable rock on her left hand. At this distance, Lily couldn’t make out the delicate white gold band, stamped with tiny stars, or the princess-cut diamond at its centre, but she didn’t need to. She knew exactly what they looked like. That ring marked Lily’s best work to date, and her best friend would wear it for the rest of her life. Perfect.

Lily’s eyes dropped to her own ring, the boring round solitaire on yellow gold. It was a perfectly nice ring, she supposed, looked at objectively. But it wasn’t her. And it had been hard to stamp down on the tiny part of her brain that insisted that the man who wanted to spend the rest of his life with her should realize that, as a jewellery designer, she’d want to design and make her own ring.

Except Edward was traditional; it was one of the things that had drawn her to him in the first place. He’d wanted to choose the ring himself and surprise her, which was sweet. Thoughtful. It made the ring even more meaningful, even if it wasn’t quite what she’d have chosen for herself.

Of course, some would say she should just be grateful he’d proposed at all. After seven years, people had started to talk. And Lily really didn’t want to give people a reason to talk about her, ever again.

‘I’m just saying that now you’ve finally persuaded Edward to pop the question – ’

‘That’s not exactly how it went,’ Lily interrupted, but Evelyn ignored her.

‘You’ve been engaged for almost three months. I don’t understand why you don’t want to celebrate that.’ Evelyn’s eyes narrowed as she focused in on Lily’s face. ‘You’re not planning some crazy elopement stunt, are you? Dragging that poor man off to Las Vegas or Gretna Green or somewhere? Because you know I will never forgive you. The way people would talk…’

Maybe she should. Maybe that was what she needed to make the whole thing feel real, feel more her. The ultimate extreme in small and intimate weddings – just her and Edward on a beach somewhere with a couple of witnesses dragged in off the street. Perfect. She wasn’t the big white wedding sort, really. But Edward wouldn’t like it, she supposed. He’d want the wedding in the local church, and the reception nearby, she imagined. They should probably talk about it, really.

Besides, her mum was right. Depriving the village of Felinfach of the chance to see its most wayward daughter conforming at last would never be forgiven. People would never stop talking.

‘What on earth would make you think I’d elope?’ Lily said, as if the idea held no temptation at all. Still, it was a little insulting, the assumption that she’d run off at the first opportunity. Wasn’t seven years with the same man, living in the same place, pursuing the same dream, enough to convince people she’d become a more stable person?

Evelyn shrugged, turning her attention to the far more interesting people around them. ‘Well, there was that time you ran off to Glastonbury without telling me.’

‘I was sixteen!’

‘Keep your voice down, Lily.’ The snap in Evelyn’s voice served as more of a reminder of that horrible summer than her words. Six months after her father died, after her mother emerged from the funeral as a different person, a widow, and still another month to wait for her sure-to-be-dismal GCSE results. Filled with a restlessness she couldn’t shake, Lily had hopped in a car with some friends and headed for the festival. Apparently the fact that Cora also absconded had slipped Evelyn’s mind.

Somehow it always did. To everyone who knew them, Cora was the good, well-behaved one of the pair, while Lily was the tearaway. Never mind that they’d done everything together, from the age of ten onward, whether it was getting into trouble or studying for exams. Including getting engaged within a couple of months of each other.

Only problem was, while Cora looked serene and sparkling at this new turn of events, Lily could feel that old restlessness rising up inside her again, bubbling under her skin, waiting to break out. She closed her eyes for a moment to try and stamp it down. She wasn’t that girl any more, hadn’t been for a long time.

‘Who’s that talking to Cora?’ Evelyn asked, and Lily glanced up, amazed Evelyn had found someone at the party whose life story she didn’t already know and enjoy telling to strangers, dropping her voice to a whisper for the most scandalous parts. Felinfach wasn’t a big place, and Evelyn had lived there all her life. As, obviously, had Lily. She might not be quite so well informed about her neighbours as her mother, but still. She knew things.

But not this. Beside Cora stood a man Lily couldn’t remember seeing before. Surely she’d have remembered those wide shoulders, that curling black hair? He faced away from her, so she couldn’t make out his face, but she’d been through the guest list with Cora just a few days before, and there hadn’t been any unfamiliar names, or mention of unfeasibly attractive men arriving just when the both of them were off the market.

The man looked around, and Lily felt a blush rising as he caught her staring. And it only grew hotter when a name from the guest list flashed up from her memory and she realized who he was. Alex Harper. Cora’s older, gorgeous cousin. Just enough older than them that he’d only ever seen them as kids. God, he’d grown up well… He’d always been good looking, but in a boyish way. Now… absolutely all man. Definitely man enough to make a girl a little sorry she was taken…

With a quick, sharp smile, she turned away, focusing her attention on her mother instead, until Alex lost interest and moved on. Chances were he wouldn’t remember her anyway. He’d have plenty bigger things on his mind than a girl he half recognized.

Cora had told her Alex had been commuting between Felinfach and London since his dad got sick, last autumn, but Lily hadn’t seen him, or expected to. Now his father was gone, and apparently Alex was back in town sorting out the cottage the Harpers had lived in on the edge of Felinfach, ever since they moved back home when Lily was seven. He’d probably be back in London in a matter of days. No need to remind him of her existence at all.

But Evelyn foiled her plan by announcing, ‘I’ll go and find out,’ and marching away across the room.

Lily watched her go, and saw Cora paste on her best social smile. Poor Cora. But really, she owed Lily some Evelyn time, given how often Lily had taken the blame for her. Still, probably best to be out of sight in case Cora decided to pull her in to the conversation, too. Especially since Cora only had one topic of conversation lately – wedding planning.

It was natural. In just a few months, Cora would marry the love of her life, move into one of the little cottages on the edge of town, start a family, bake cookies, and live happily ever after. Of course she wanted to discuss her plans and dreams with her best friend.

And Lily was thrilled for her, honest she was. Only… she was supposed to be looking forward to the same future. So why wasn’t she sparkling and serene? Why did she keep asking herself if things really had to change, when she and Edward were happy as they were?

What was wrong with her that she got more excited about her friend’s happily ever after than her own?

Suddenly depressed, Lily grabbed a fresh glass of wine from the table by the door and slipped through the opening to the hallway. She knew Cora’s parents’ house as well as her own. Surely she could find somewhere private for just a few moments’ peace and quiet? And drinking. She definitely needed wine if she planned to seriously contemplate her future.

* * * *

Cora was still rabbiting on beside him, but since her topic hadn’t changed once in the last twenty minutes, Alex felt justified in tuning her out while he turned his attention to more interesting things. Like the blonde across the room, clearly being bored to death by a conversation with an elegant older woman whose hair didn’t move.

‘And I think it’s wonderful that you’ve come home to Felinfach, Alex, I really do,’ Cora said, unnecessarily, as she’d already expressed the same sentiment three times. Alex loved his cousin dearly, but God did she love to talk.

‘I’m glad,’ he said, also for the third time. It wasn’t a lie; his cousin’s opinion mattered to him. She tended to be an excellent judge of character, something borne out by her choice of fiancé, he felt, after a long, wine-soaked evening in the man’s company a few days before. He should ask her the blonde’s name.

‘It’s just…’ Cora said, and stopped. That was new. Alex paused in his consideration of the way the blonde’s hair swept across her shoulders when she shook her head, revealing a very elegant neck.

‘Just?’ he prompted, looking at his cousin.

Cora bit her lip. ‘Just… Are you sure you really want to stay? Not sell the cottage and go back to London? Don’t you think you might be, well, a little bored, here in Felinfach? I mean, it’s hardly the capital…’

‘I know. I did grow up here too, remember?’ Even though it seemed like a lifetime ago, now. Once, he’d been one of the boys hanging out round the rundown old mill, causing trouble and somehow never getting caught. Before he grew up and grew responsible, of course.

‘Yeah, but that was years ago.’

Alex winced at the implication about his age, even though he’d been thinking the same thing. ‘So maybe Felinfach’s got more exciting,’ he said. Cora raised her perfectly plucked brows. ‘Maybe I’ve grown more boring?’

That surprised a laugh from her. ‘Somehow I doubt that.’

But he had, Alex knew.

Maybe it was looking after his dad, these last six months. Seeing a man he loved, respected and admired facing the end of his life. Hearing him look back over the last seventy years and talk about what had mattered to him, and what had turned out not to matter at all.

Alex’s brother, Gareth, had helped out too, but he had a wife and two small boys as well as a full time job. And Alex hadn’t minded sacrificing his weekends to spend time with dad. For the first time in years there was something that mattered more to him than work. And he realized, one quiet evening in the cottage, that he liked it that way.

He didn’t want the cut and thrust of the City any more. Didn’t want the endless parties, the late nights that became early mornings, the stress and the responsibility and the indigestion. Hell, he didn’t even really want the women that went with it all, any more.

He’d talked it all through with his dad, in conversations more meaningful and deep than he’d had with anyone in years.

‘The key, Alex, is to find your dream, what will make you happy for all the years ahead. And then to find someone who’ll thrive on living it with you. Someone whose dream matches yours. Just like your mum and me had.’

With his dad’s words echoing in his head, Alex had started making changes almost immediately – taking on a couple of local clients, to get back into the swing of small business accounting, trimming down his hours in the City. He’d hoped to be able to move back full time before his father passed, but he’d been too slow. He’d missed his chance. It wasn’t a mistake he was planning to make again.

He, Alex Harper, was ready to settle down, to find his future, and he was going to go after it with the single-mindedness that had served him so well in his career thus far.

Now he just needed to find the right woman to settle down with.

‘Seriously, Alex,’ Cora said, placing a hand on his arm. ‘I’m just trying to understand. It’s a huge change for you, and I know…’

She stalled, and something compelled Alex to say, ‘Go on.’

‘I just worry that you wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t for your dad.’

He shouldn’t be surprised that Cora had realized that, or even that she thought it was a bad thing. It was what everyone in London thought. A knee-jerk response to a traumatic event. Some of his ex-colleagues, he knew, were even placing bets on how long it would take him to ditch the countryside and move back to London.

They were going to be disappointed.

‘I’ll admit, Dad getting sick, and so soon after Mum died… Maybe it made me speed up my plans.’ The last words his father had spoken to him, in a phone call a few days before he’d died, echoed round Alex’s head. I don’t want you to spend your life at one thing, only to realize it wasn’t what mattered at all. But he wasn’t ready to share that with anyone just yet, not even Cora. The conversations he’d had with his dad were private. And the pain of knowing he’d never have them again still hadn’t dulled.

He shook his head to dispel the miserable thoughts, and smiled at Cora in what he hoped was a reassuring manner. ‘I was always going to move home eventually, Cora. Settle down. And yeah, talking with Dad over the last few months helped me to crystallise what it is I really want. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. And doing it now, hell, I don’t even have to worry about selling Mum and Dad’s cottage.’

Cora didn’t look entirely convinced.

‘What are you even going to do here?’ she asked. ‘Besides stripping that hideous wallpaper out of the cottage, of course.’

‘Oh, you know. This and that.’ Alex shrugged, trying to decide how much to tell her. ‘Some accounting, I guess. I’ve already been working with a few clients remotely – the Avalon Inn up the road, for one. Once I told them I was moving back permanently, they were very keen to get me on board. There’s been no accountant practicing in the town since Mr Phillips retired last year. I’m needed here.’

Cora eyed him with suspicion. ‘And you think that’ll be enough of a challenge for you? After years in the City?’

‘I’ve got some other plans, too.’ Alex looked away. Too soon to mention his new career direction just yet. He’d not discussed it with anyone except his dad. He’d wanted to wait until he had something concrete to show people. Something to prove he was serious.

And in the meantime… ‘For starters, who’s the blonde?’ He nodded in her direction, and realized with a start that she was watching him too. His pulse kicked up a beat. Maybe Felinfach wasn’t nearly as boring as Cora made out. And he could definitely do with a distraction, to take his mind off Dad.

The blonde looked away again, but not before Alex saw a delightful pink colour flush across her cheeks. Definitely not boring.

‘Lily?’ Cora said, and Alex blinked. ‘Don’t you remember her?’

Of course he did. He remembered her seven and stuck up a tree, and he remembered her fifteen and wearing too much glitter makeup. He remembered driving all the way to Manchester, his last summer home from university, to pick up her and Cora after their ride left them stranded in Glastonbury and they got kicked off the train at Manchester Piccadilly for travelling without tickets.

He did not remember her hot.

‘She looks… different.’

‘Well, you haven’t seen her in ten years. You’ve changed in that time too, you know.’ Cora’s eyes sharpened, her smile slipping off her face. ‘And not only is she my best friend, she’s engaged. So don’t even think about it.’

Alex threw up his hands in defence. ‘Wouldn’t dream of it.’ It was a shame, but attached women were firmly off limits, as far as he was concerned. Especially ones planning a wedding. Marriage was not something to be messed around with.

‘Good.’ Cora sounded mollified, at least. But then she groaned. ‘Oh God, here comes Evelyn. Quick, escape while you can.’

The stiff haired lady who’d been talking to Lily approached them with determination in her step. Alex did a quick search of his memory. ‘Lily’s mother?’

Cora nodded. ‘Terrifying woman. I’m serious, I’d run.’

Sounded like a plan to him. Especially since, across the room, he caught a glimpse of blonde hair disappearing behind the door to the hall. Now, where was she going? And, more importantly, should he follow?

Alex darted out of Evelyn’s way before she came close enough to require an introduction and polite conversation. Pausing at the drinks table, he helped himself to another glass of wine and considered his options. On the one hand, engagement put Lily firmly out of the running for personal entertainment. On the other… he couldn’t help but be intrigued to see how she’d grown up. Alex wanted to know what sort of man had tamed Cora’s wild child best friend. If he stayed in Felinfach as he planned, he’d need friends. And from what he remembered of Lily, she’d always known how to have fun. If Felinfach had a less boring side to it these days, Lily Thomas would know where to find it.

Mind made up, Alex grabbed a second glass of wine, and followed Lily out of the party and into the house.

* * * *

Cora’s childhood bedroom hadn’t changed in the eight years since she’d left for university. The cream walls still had their stencilled flowers up by the ceiling, and the dressmaker’s mannequin wore the same pale blue ball gown it always had. Lily paused at the bookcase, running a finger along the spines of some old favourites, remembering rainy afternoons curled up in Cora’s window seat, reading together. Until she got bored, of course, and begged Cora to come find something more interesting to do.

Lily sighed. Maybe that was the reason everyone saw her as the troublemaker. Limited attention span. Often resulted in mischief.

That, at least, was one thing she could say had changed for the better over the last decade. Precious metals and gemstones required patience; she couldn’t rush them. She’d learnt that quickly enough, when it became obvious she’d bankrupt herself before she even started if she didn’t slow down, learn what she was doing first. She’d practiced for hours, days, months with less expensive materials, until she felt confident enough to risk shaping and setting the more valuable ones.

But her patience had paid off. She just had to look at the ring on Cora’s left hand to remember that.

‘I never took you for much of a reader.’ She might not have recognized his body, but Alex’s voice behind her sent an instant shiver of familiarity through her.

Turning slowly to face him, she shrugged. ‘I like books. I like adventures.’

‘Reading about them or having them?’ Alex leant against the doorframe, looking too broad, too dark, too handsome for Cora’s girlish room.

‘Both.’ Lily tipped her head to one side and took the opportunity to really look at him, to catalogue the changes ten years had wrought in him. No longer a slender, pretty boy. He’d broadened out, become sturdier, rougher. Hotter. ‘It’s good to see you again, Alex.’

‘I wasn’t sure you’d recognized me.’ Hands in the pockets of his perfectly cut grey trousers, Alex cast a sheepish look at the carpet. ‘To be honest, I didn’t realize it was you until Cora told me. You’ve changed.’

‘Ten years will do that to a girl.’

‘Has it really been that long?’

Lily just nodded. No reason for him to remember, but she’d never forget. The last time she’d seen Alex, he’d been dropping her home after the Glastonbury debacle. His parting words – ‘Chin up. You wanted to go, you had fun. Own your decision and face the consequences.’ – had been the only thing to get her through the next two weeks of misery with her mother. And they’d stayed with her since. Somehow, some words of advice from a guy only four years older than her, a wise and worldly twenty at the time, had become a guiding principle in her life.

‘Cora tells me you’re moving home,’ she said instead, backing up against the whitewashed desk as Alex came into the room.

‘Well, back to Felinfach, at least. Mum and Dad’s old cottage is a bit ramshackle, but…’ He shrugged, a smile twisting at his mouth. ‘I always had an affection for the place.’

‘I heard about your dad,’ Lily said, remembering abruptly. ‘And your mum, last year. I’m sorry. I always liked them.’

‘I think Dad had a bit of a soft spot for you, too,’ Alex replied. ‘He always liked someone who did what was right for them and damn the consequences.’

Lily tried to smile. Was that how Alex remembered her? She wasn’t sure she could still remember that girl, these days.

‘So you’ve come to sort out all our money troubles?’ At least she’d remembered he was in finance. Faced with the reality of Alex Harper, facts were harder to hold onto. God, if she’d thought him crush-worthy at twenty, it couldn’t compare to him at thirty. Not that he’d ever thought of her at all. Or remembered her, apparently.

‘Actually…’Alex glanced away, then looked back, his eyes sharper. ‘I’ve got some new plans. A new direction, so to speak.’

Which sounded interesting. ‘Care to elaborate?’

He shook his head. ‘Not yet. Not until I’m sure where it’s going.’

She thought about pressing him for details, but from the way he darted aside, looking away, it was pretty clear he didn’t want to talk about it.

Alex sat on the bed, looking even more out of place against the pink ruffles, and patted the duvet beside him. ‘Come on, then. Catch me up. How’s the last decade been for you?’

‘I don’t know where to start.’ Lily left a good few inches between them when she sat. Somehow, she had a feeling being alone in a bedroom with Alex wasn’t a situation girls normally got out of with all their clothes intact.

‘How about telling me about your fiancé.’

‘Fiancé?’ Alex nodded at her left hand, and Lily blinked down at the ring she hadn’t designed. ‘Oh, that. Yeah. It’s… complicated.’

Alex raised an eyebrow. ‘Did he ask you to marry him?’

‘At the top of the Eiffel Tower on Valentine’s day.’ Lily sighed, remembering the way the other diners had stopped and stared when he got down on one knee, even as three other men were doing the same at other tables. They’d all had their pictures taken together afterward. It was, by far, the most conventionally romantic proposal ever conceived. Which was Edward all over. He knew the conventional, appropriate thing to do for every situation. And he did it, every time. Her mother thought that made him the perfect man. Lily had a horrible, growing suspicion that all it made him was predictable.

No, not predictable. Steady. Reliable. Dependable. All good things. She liked that Edward was the steady one. His steady job meant that she could pursue her dream career. Having Edward as a calm centre in her life made it easier for her to resist the flights of fancy and impulsive ideas she’d been so prone to as a teen. And when she was having a panic about the shop, or her mum, or life in general, Edward was the one to sit her down, stroke her back and remind her that everything was going to be okay. That she could cope.

Edward made her a grown up, and that was a good thing.

‘And did he give you this ring?’ Alex asked, interrupting her thoughts.

The ring, however, was still a sore spot.

‘Unfortunately.’ He frowned at her answer, and she felt compelled to explain, ‘I’m a jewellery designer.’

Alex winced. ‘Ah. He didn’t think you’d want to design your own?’

‘No.’ She really needed to stop sounding so bitter about that. She shook her head. ‘It’s okay. I understand. He wanted to have a ring to give me when I said yes, and wanted to choose it himself. It’s romantic.’

‘If you say so. Anyway, that aside, and this is the crucial bit: when he asked, and when he gave you this ring – did you say yes?’

No real way out of that one. ‘Yes. But…’

‘No buts. What, are you going to be one of those couples who get engaged but never get around to getting married?’

What would be so wrong with that? Why not just carry on the way things are, happy and content. Why does it have to be a big thing?

But then Lily thought about the way her mother was already planning the perfect day in her head, and the catalogues of invitation samples Edward had started leaving around the flat. It was a big thing to them. ‘Apparently not.’