Buch lesen: «Honeysuckle Summer»

Contents

Cover

Praise

Title Page

Letter to Reader

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Epilogue

Questions for Discussion

Copyright

1

Raylene stood in the kitchen doorway on a day that was surprisingly cool for the first of June. She stared in dismay at the backyard where Sarah’s children, Tommy and Libby, had been playing not two minutes before. Now only two-year-old Libby was in sight. She was standing next to the open gate of the fenced-in yard.

Tommy’s absence immediately set off panic in Raylene. “Libby,” she called. “Sweetie, come here. Where’s Tommy?”

Toddling to Raylene, her big eyes filled with tears, Libby pointed in the direction of the street.

“Come inside,” Raylene commanded. She could only deal with one missing child at a time. Raylene scooped up Libby, then raced toward the front door and flung it open to peer up and down the block. Tommy was nowhere in sight. Barely five, he couldn’t have gone too far in the time she’d been in the kitchen, she assured herself. She’d turned away just long enough to put a few cookies on a plate and pour three glasses of lemonade. Two minutes, maybe three.

Normally she would have brought the kids inside when the sitter left to run an errand, but it had been such a beautiful day, she’d decided to let them continue playing in the yard. What had she been thinking? She’d been terrified ever since she’d moved in with Sarah and her family that something like this would happen on her watch. She’d taken every precaution she could think of to avoid it. Now, just one slip and all her worst fears were coming true.

Opening the door, she shouted at the top of her lungs. “Tommy!” She managed to inch over the threshold, but just barely. The panic she’d felt upon discovering Tommy was gone multiplied a thousandfold as she tried to force herself to take the next step and then the next. It took every bit of willpower she possessed not to scramble right back inside. She clutched Libby so tightly that the little girl whimpered in protest.

“Sorry, baby,” Raylene soothed.

Again, she shouted for Tommy, but there was no response. Frustration warred with terror.

Tommy knew the rules. He knew, even if he didn’t understand, that she couldn’t leave the house to go chasing after him. He was also an adventurous preschooler for whom rules meant very little. He couldn’t possibly comprehend that the thought of leaving the safe haven of their home terrified her. Sometimes it was beyond her understanding, too.

Ever since Raylene had run from her abusive husband, she’d grown increasingly housebound, scared of everything beyond the boundaries of these walls. It didn’t seem to matter that Paul Hammond was safely locked behind bars, at least for a few more months. She couldn’t make herself leave the house. If anything, she’d been getting worse, not better.

She forced herself to inch down the last step and onto the sidewalk, fought the fear clawing its way up the back of her throat, the trembling in her limbs. Unable to take one more step, she shouted again and again.

“Tommy Price! You get back in this yard right this minute!”

She scanned the street in every direction, fully expecting him to pop out from behind a bush, a lopsided grin on his face at having won some misguided game of hide-and-seek.

Instead, there was no sign of movement on the quiet, tree-lined street. Any teens were inside playing video games or doing homework. The younger children on the block were probably indoors having an after-school snack. An hour from now, more than likely there would be a dozen kids who could tell her in which direction Tommy had gone, but for now there was no one in sight.

Raylene tried to calm herself with the reminder that Serenity was a safe town, and small enough that almost anyone would recognize Tommy and bring him straight home. Unfortunately, those thoughts warred with too many dangerous possibilities.

She tried telling herself that if a stranger had approached, one or both of the kids would have screamed. They’d been drilled often enough to be alert to that kind of danger. Even Libby was old enough to be wary of anyone she didn’t know. That Raylene hadn’t heard any fearful shouts was some consolation.

All of this went spinning through her head in what seemed like an eternity, but was probably no more than a couple of minutes. She had a choice to make. She could fight her fears and try to go farther than the front steps, or she could call for help. Given her inability to leave the house for so long, she opted for being smart over saving her pride. Not wanting to waste another precious second, she punched in 911 on the portable phone.

Her second call was to the Serenity radio station where Sarah had a morning show of talk and music. She often stayed after the show ended to book future guests. It was the station owner and Sarah’s soon-to-be husband, Travis McDonald, who took the call.

“I’m so sorry,” Raylene kept telling him, trying not to break down in tears as she rambled through the story. “I swear I only looked away for a few minutes, and I tried to go searching for him, Travis. I really tried. I’m standing on the sidewalk now, and you know how long it’s been since I’ve come even this far. I’ve called the sheriff’s office. They’re sending a deputy right away.”

“It’s okay, Raylene. Everything’s going to be fine,” he reassured her, though she could hear the underlying tension in his normally laid-back tone. “I’ll tell Sarah what’s going on and we’ll be there in five minutes. No need to panic. Tommy’s probably playing next door. Give Lynn a call.”

“But surely she would have heard me shouting for him,” Raylene protested. “Hurry, Travis, please. I’ll try to go looking myself, but I don’t know if I can.”

Travis, bless him, didn’t criticize her for this phobia that had taken over her life. He just reassured her that he was on his way. “Call next door,” he repeated. “The number’s on the bulletin board by the phone in the kitchen. Lynn will help until we get there.”

“Of course,” she said, furious with herself for not thinking of that sooner.

But when she reached Lynn, the neighbor reminded Raylene that her daughter was in a playgroup this afternoon.

“I haven’t seen Tommy, but I’ll be right over to help with the search,” Lynn said at once.

“Don’t bother coming here,” Raylene told her. “If you could just look up and down the street toward town and maybe alert some more of the neighbors, I’ll send Travis in the other direction as soon as he gets here. Surely Tommy can’t be more than a few blocks away.”

“Will do,” Lynn promised, then hesitated. “Are you okay? Anything you need before I start hunting?”

“No, I’m fine.” In fact, finding herself with an actual role—acting as command central for news from those actually out searching—finally began to steady her nerves. This was something she could do. She could keep Libby close and safe, make calls, coordinate efforts, even wait for Tommy to wander back from whatever adventure he’d gone on. Shaking with relief that others were now doing what she couldn’t, she sat down on the top step to watch and wait.

Sitting there on the front stoop, phone and lemonade in hand, Libby in her arms, Raylene peered up and down the street for some sign of Tommy, or at least of Travis or the deputy that the sheriff’s department had promised to send.

When the wait began to seem endless, she once again tried to venture back down the sidewalk. Even though she took a deep breath and told herself she’d already done this once today, her palms began to sweat. Her heartbeat accelerated, and her breath seemed to lodge in her throat. Tears of frustration filled her eyes. She ought to be able to take this one short step, dammit! There was a crisis, and she was absolutely useless.

For the first time since she’d given in to her fears and settled for such a limited existence, she realized just how much might be at stake. Though the kids were the sitter’s responsibility at this time of day, Sarah had depended on Raylene to be her backup, to keep her children safe if she ever happened to be left in charge, even for a brief time. She’d let Sarah down, let Tommy down.

Consumed with self-derision, Raylene realized they all should have known better. Any length of time with her was too long, especially for Tommy, who had his daddy’s stubbornness and tenacity along with the conviction that he was now a big boy. He was growing more independent by the day.

Raylene should have put her foot down and refused to look after the kids at all, not for an hour, not even for five minutes. She knew Sarah was determined to convince her that she was still normal, instead of some basket case, but Raylene should have insisted that the risks were too great. If anything happened to that little boy, she’d never be able to forgive herself.

When Travis’s car squealed into the driveway and Sarah jumped out practically before he hit the brakes, Raylene nearly collapsed with relief.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” she said as Sarah hugged her fiercely and told her not to worry. It was ironic really to have Tommy’s mom consoling her, when it should have been the other way around.

Libby took one look at Travis and held out her arms. There was no question that she adored her prospective stepdaddy. Travis took Libby from Raylene’s arms and held her close.

“It’s going to be fine,” Sarah said, though her confident words were belied by the fear shadowing her eyes. “Tommy can’t possibly have gone far. What happened, anyway? Travis tried to tell me, but all I could hear was blah-blah-blah through the haze of terror that rushed through me.”

Raylene repeated the story she’d told Travis on the phone. “The sitter went to pick up a few things we needed for supper.” She glanced at her watch and saw that even after all the commotion, less than a half hour had passed. “She should be back here any second. I swear, Tommy and Libby weren’t out of my sight more than a couple of minutes. When I looked back, the gate was open and Tommy was gone. I couldn’t believe my eyes.”

“Well, I can believe it,” Sarah said. “He’s as slippery as a little eel. He’s constantly escaping, you know that, even when Travis and I think we’re watching him like hawks. He’s figured out where his friends live and likes to go visit. He doesn’t grasp the concept of getting permission. That’s probably what happened today.”

“Lynn’s out knocking on doors,” Raylene said. “If that’s what happened, she should have news soon.” She met Sarah’s gaze, reluctant to stir the distrust that still existed between Sarah and her ex-husband. “I hate to bring this up, but you don’t suppose Walter stopped by and picked him up without coming inside to let me know?”

Sarah shook her head. “I’ve already called him, just to let him know what’s happening, and, to be honest, to make sure he’s making a sales call at the business where he said he’d be this afternoon. I phoned him at the business, rather than on his cell, just to be sure.”

“Thank God for that, at least,” Raylene said, just as the sheriff’s car rolled to a stop out front.

Expecting to see the familiar face of one of the longtime deputies or the paunchy form of the sheriff himself, she was stunned to see a tall, lean specimen of pure masculinity emerge from behind the wheel. He had chiseled cheekbones, thick brown hair and, when he removed his aviator sunglasses, a penetrating gaze that could spin a thousand feminine fantasies.

Furious with herself for ogling the man like a love-sick idiot despite being in the middle of a crisis, Raylene took a gulp of ice-cold lemonade to soothe her suddenly parched throat.

Anticipating a cross-examination, she steadied herself to wait, but instead, he reached out and opened the passenger door to the police cruiser. Tommy emerged, wearing an excited little-boy’s grin over the adventure he’d apparently had.

“I got to ride in a police car,” Tommy announced unnecessarily. “And I got to turn on the siren.”

Sarah knelt down and pulled Tommy into her arms. Her tears were openly flowing now. Then she held him at arm’s length and her expression turned stern. “Young man, do you have any idea how much trouble you’re in? What were you thinking, leaving this yard without permission? You know you’re not allowed to go anywhere that Raylene can’t see you.”

Tommy’s chin wobbled precariously. He cast a guilty look in Raylene’s direction. “I heard the ice-cream truck, and I had my money in my pocket ’cause we knew Freddie’d be coming soon. I thought I could find him.”

Raylene nearly groaned. Of course he’d go chasing after ice cream, though Freddie Wilson usually didn’t make his rounds until late afternoon, and normally he stopped right in front of their house so Raylene or the sitter could watch as Tommy made his purchase.

“I looked and looked, but I couldn’t find Freddie,” Tommy said sorrowfully. “And then I got lost. The policeman found me. He knew my name.” He regarded his mom worriedly. “That’s okay, right? Policemen are our friends, not strangers.”

Sarah nodded. “That’s exactly right.”

“I found him over on Oak Street,” the deputy said, still eyeing Raylene with disapproval. “He took himself quite a walk.”

“It’s hot and I’m thirsty,” Tommy said. “Can Libby and me have lemonade and cookies now?”

“Lemonade, but no cookies,” Sarah told him firmly. “Then you’re going to your room so Travis and I can have a talk with you about leaving here without an adult. I suspect your daddy will have a few things to say to you, too, when he gets here.”

Sarah turned to the deputy. “Thank you so much for finding him and bringing him home.”

“No problem,” he said, then focused on Raylene. “Ma’am, if you’re in charge, you’re going to need to keep a closer eye on the children. If something like this happens again, there could be serious consequences.”

Raylene flinched at his judgmental tone, though she could hardly argue with the message. “Believe me, it won’t happen again,” she assured him.

Because as soon as she got back inside, she intended to go through the classified ads and find another place to live. She’d imposed on Sarah long enough. She’d always intended to offer to buy this house from Sarah when she and Travis were married and living at his place, but staying here until then was now out of the question. Surely Sarah would see that after what had happened this afternoon, and if she didn’t, then Raylene would enlist Travis, their friend Annie or anyone else she could think of to make sure that Sarah saw reason. After all, where her kids were concerned, Sarah couldn’t justify taking chances, not even to protect her best friend.

Unfortunately, Sarah wasn’t being reasonable. Just after dinner, Raylene had announced her plans to move out, but Sarah was having none of it. To Raylene’s surprise, Travis was on her side. Even Annie had come over toting her new baby to offer her two cents’. Raylene fully expected the entire contingent of Sweet Magnolias to turn up any second to provide backup. When they united in solidarity, they were a force to be reckoned with. Everyone in Serenity knew that.

“Just because a man none of us had ever set eyes on before this afternoon criticized you without knowing all the facts does not mean you’re going to move out,” Sarah told Raylene. “And you can just take those bags you’ve packed right back to your room and unpack them.”

“I agree,” Travis said. “What happened today could have happened to any one of us.”

“But it happened to me,” Raylene protested, “and there wasn’t anything I could do except scream for Tommy and then make phone calls. You would have been outside chasing after him. He’d never have made it all the way to Oak Street if you’d been here.”

“You did exactly what needed to be done,” Sarah argued. “You called the sheriff.”

“It wasn’t enough,” Raylene countered. “I love you for taking me in and putting up with my craziness for all this time, but it needs to stop now. I will not put your children at risk.”

Sarah frowned at her determined tone. “What I know is that my children love you. You’re one of my two best friends and right now this is your home. It’s where you feel safe. Until you feel stronger and really, really want to move out on your own, you’re staying right here with us, and that’s final.”

Raylene regarded her with a mix of frustration and amazement. “How can you want that after what happened?”

“Because I love you, you dope. And like Travis said, what happened with the kids today could just as easily have happened to me or to him.”

“Listen to her,” Annie said, cradling Meg in her arms. “Trevor gets away from me in the blink of an eye. I swear one of these days I’m going to put that boy on a leash when I take him to the mall. Who knew kids that size could move so fast? Their legs are short, for goodness’ sake. Of course, Ty has a conniption when I say that, but he’s not the one standing in a crowded mall trying to spot a kid in a sea of legs.”

She met Raylene’s gaze. “And another thing, since Trevor’s my stepson, I feel an even greater sense of responsibility in a way. If anything ever happened to him on my watch, I don’t know if Ty would ever forgive me. So you see, I do understand how you feel, Raylene. I know exactly how terrifying this must have been.”

“So do I,” Travis said, his gaze on Sarah. “Don’t you think I feel a huge weight of responsibility every time I take Libby and Tommy out with me? Sure, I’d feel that if I were their biological dad, but, like Annie said, somehow I think it’s harder being their stepparent or, in your case, the friend who’s been left in charge.”

They were wearing away at all of Raylene’s arguments. She did have one more, though. “Okay, what about Walter?” she asked Sarah. “I’m sure he has an opinion about all this. Do you want to give him the perfect excuse to file for custody?”

Right after her own divorce, any mention of a custody suit would have scared Sarah to death, but now she waved it off. “I anticipated something like this, so I asked Walter flat out if he intended to make an issue of what happened today. He told me no, and he meant it. I could tell.”

She reached over and squeezed Raylene’s hand. “He likes you, sweetie. How you’ve pulled it off is beyond me, but he considers you a friend. He acted like I was nuts when I suggested he might use this to seek custody. He told me we were past all that a long time ago, he agreed it was better for the kids to live mainly with me and he had no intention of dragging you into that kind of fight. I’ll call him right now, and he can tell you that himself, if you need to hear it from the horse’s mouth.”

“No,” Raylene said. “But you all are being entirely too understanding, Walter included. The important thing is to keep the kids safe. They’re obviously not safe with me.”

“Okay, we can deal with that,” Sarah said decisively. “From now on, you won’t stay here alone with them, not even for a few minutes, but that’s the only thing that’s going to change. This is your home, period. Don’t waste your breath trying to make me change my mind.”

Raylene sighed with frustration and, if she were being honest, a hint of relief. “I appreciate this, I really do, but I just don’t see how you can be so generous after the way I let Tommy get away from me. Anything could have happened.”

“But it didn’t,” Sarah said emphatically. “And I said it because it’s how I feel. You’re a Sweet Magnolia, just like me and Annie, Maddie, Helen, Dana Sue and Jeanette. That makes you the next best thing to a sister, okay? And families stick together.” She regarded Raylene slyly. “There is one thing you could do for me in return, though.”

Raylene braced herself. She already knew what was coming. They’d had the conversation before. “You want me to see Dr. McDaniels.” The psychologist had treated Annie years ago for an eating disorder and continued to monitor her progress whenever Annie felt herself slipping. After well over a year of watching Raylene get worse, Annie and Sarah had started pushing Raylene to consult her. Their pleas had become increasingly forceful lately. Now, understandably, they were bound to be amped up even more.

Sarah nodded. “I do. Whether you just have a panic disorder or full-blown agoraphobia, it’s time to face it, Raylene. Not just because of what happened today, but so you can get your life back. Maybe this incident today happened for a reason, to make you finally get the help you need.”

Raylene had been waging an internal battle against seeking help from the moment her friends had first mentioned it. It had probably been a ridiculous point of pride that she conquer this problem on her own. The truth was, though, that she obviously couldn’t. Whatever was going on was bigger than she was.

When she remained silent, trying to work up the courage to concede defeat and ask for help, Annie stepped in.

“Raylene, this is treatable,” Annie assured her. “You know that. I’ve shown you all the research I could find on the Internet. There’s a very good chance Dr. McDaniels can work with a physician to get you on the right combination of medicine to help, and maybe teach you some calming and relaxation techniques. Don’t let that horrific ex-husband of yours rob you of the rest of your life. Now that you’re free of him, you need to live every second to the absolute fullest. You need to meet someone new, someone who’s kind and gentle and treats you with the respect you deserve. We all want that for you.”

“And you think I’ll meet that kind of man in Serenity?” Raylene scoffed with some of the leftover snobbishness she’d been taught by her mother, a Charleston socialite who’d married a local man, then found herself stuck in Serenity and had chafed at every minute of her life here.

“I have,” Sarah reminded her, glancing over at Travis, who gave her a wink. “So have Annie and Jeanette. And look at the men in Maddie, Dana Sue and Helen’s lives. They’re all amazing. And, if you don’t mind my saying so, that highly educated blueblooded doctor you met in Charleston wasn’t exactly a catch, now was he?”

Raylene’s lips quirked despite the reminder of just how awful Paul Hammond had been.

“You have me there,” she admitted. “Although a man is the last thing on my mind at the moment, I will call Dr. McDaniels.” Because she’d made the promise at least a dozen times before, she knew it probably sounded empty now. “I mean it. I’ll do it this time, first thing in the morning. You can stand right by the phone and listen in, if you want to. I owe you that much for sticking by me despite what happened.”

“You’re not doing it for me,” Sarah corrected. “You’re doing it for yourself. You need to concentrate on that. And I don’t need to listen to the call, Raylene. If you make a promise, you’ll keep it.”

Raylene was grateful for the trust Sarah had in her word. She just wasn’t so sure she deserved either the trust or a future. That was one more aftereffect of living with a man who’d literally and figuratively beaten her into submission for way too long before she’d wised up and left. That it had taken her years, rather than minutes, would shame her forever. That it had cost her the baby she’d been carrying had left her with the kind of gut-wrenching guilt from which she couldn’t imagine ever recovering.

Even she recognized that she’d been punishing herself by locking herself away in this house. Paul might be serving his time in prison, but she’d been serving her self-imposed sentence right here. Even now, she wasn’t a hundred percent certain she deserved to have it end, but today the stakes of doing nothing had increased to a level she could no longer ignore.