Conner’s eyes held Flora’s. ‘I wouldn’t know. That’s one mistake I’ve never made.’
She swallowed, every bit as uncomfortable as he’d clearly intended her to be. Was he trying to shock her? He’d had women, she knew that. Probably many. Was she surprised that he’d never found love? That he considered love a mistake?
‘True love is a gift, given to few,’ she murmured, and Conner’s mouth tilted and his blue eyes glinted with sardonic humour.
‘True love is a curse, bestowed on the unlucky. Love brings weakness and vulnerability. How can that be a gift?’
Flustered, she cleared her throat and looked away. What was he doing here? Why had he returned to Glenmore with no warning, looking like the bad guy out of a Hollywood movie? His hair was dark and cropped short and his jaw was dark with stubble. He was indecently handsome and the only thing that marred the otherwise faultless symmetry of his features was the slight bump in his nose, an imperfection which she assumed to be the legacy of a fight. He looked tough and dangerous and the impression of virile manhood was further intensified by the width and power of his shoulders under the black leather jacket.
He wasn’t attractive, Flora told herself desperately. How could he possibly be attractive? He looked … rough. Rough and a little menacing. She thought of the conventional, bespectacled lawyer she’d dated for a while in Edinburgh. He’d always let her through doors first and had been completely charming. His hair had always been neat and tidy and she’d never, ever seen him anything other than clean-shaven. He’d almost always worn a suit when they’d dated and his legs hadn’t filled his trousers the way that Conner’s did. And then there had been his smile. His cheeks had dimpled slightly and his eyes had been kind. Nothing like Conner’s eyes. Conner’s eyes were fierce and hard, as if he was just waiting for someone to pick a fight so that he could work off some pent-up energy.
Her heart thudded hard against her chest. Conner MacNeil wasn’t charming or kind. He was—He was … unsuitable. Dangerous. A woman had to be mad to look twice at a man like him.
Why, she wondered helplessly, was the unsuitable and the dangerous always so much more appealing than the suitable?
‘We need to get on.’ With a huge effort of will, she broke the connection and turned her attention back to Logan. ‘We’ve a busy surgery this morning. What happened to the new doctor? Did he show up? You didn’t tell me who he is or when he or she can start.’
‘You heard the woman.’ Logan turned to Conner. ‘Go and do your job.’
Conner shrugged and a slight smile touched his mouth. ‘Prepare for chaos.’
It took Flora a moment to understand the implications of their conversation. ‘You can’t—Conner?’ Her voice cracked. ‘But Conner isn’t—’ She broke off and Conner lifted an eyebrow.
‘Don’t stop there,’ he prompted softly. ‘I’m keen to hear all the things I’m not.’
Not suitable. Not safe. Not conventional. Not responsible … She could have drawn up a never-ending list of things he was not. ‘I—You’re not a doctor. You can’t be a doctor.’
He smiled. ‘Why? Because I didn’t hand in my homework on time?’
‘You didn’t hand in your homework at all. You were hardly ever at school!’
‘I’m flattered that you noticed.’ His soft observation was a humiliating reminder that she’d always been aware of him and he’d never even noticed her.
She was probably the only girl on Glenmore who hadn’t been kissed by Conner MacNeil.
She turned away, horrified that after all this time she still cared that she’d been invisible to him. ‘You’re forgetting that my aunt was the headmistress.’
‘I’ve forgotten nothing.’ There was something in his tone that made her glance at him and speculate. There was resentment there and—anger?
He’d always seemed angry, she remembered. Angry, moody and wild.
Was that why he was back? Was he seeking revenge on the people who had disapproved and eventually despaired of him?
‘Ann runs a wonderful school.’ She felt compelled to defend her family. ‘The children all adore her and they get a fantastic education.’
‘There’s more to education than sitting in rows in a classroom with a book in front of you.’ Conner leaned nonchalantly against the table, his glance speculative. ‘Still the same Flora. Conventional. Playing everything by the rules. I presume that all your affairs are still with books?’
His comment stung. He made her feel so—so—boring. Plain, boring Flora. And that was what they’d called her at school, of course. Boring Flora. Hurt, she clawed back. ‘Rules are there for a reason and if you’re really a doctor then I hope you’ve read a few books yourself along the way, otherwise I pity your patients.’ She stopped, shocked at herself and aware that Logan was gaping at her in amazement.
‘Flora! I’ve never heard you speak to anyone like that before. Usually I have to drag a response from you. What is the matter with you?’
‘I don’t know. I—Nothing.’ Flora’s cheeks were scarlet and she blinked several times and adjusted her glasses. She didn’t know what was the matter. She didn’t know what had come over her. She didn’t know why she felt so hot and bothered. ‘Sorry. I apologise.’
She felt miserably uncomfortable and mortified that she’d embarrassed Logan. The only person who didn’t seem remotely embarrassed was Conner himself. He simply laughed.
‘Don’t apologise. I much prefer to be around people who say what they think. I’m sure most of the inhabitants of Glenmore will share your sentiments and express them far more vociferously.’ He turned to Logan. ‘I did warn you that this wouldn’t work. It isn’t too late to change your mind.’
‘Of course I’m not going to change my mind.’ Logan sounded exasperated. ‘Flora, Conner’s credentials are—’
‘Irrelevant,’ Conner interrupted smoothly, and Flora bit her lip.
She knew she ought to say something nice and welcoming, but her brain just didn’t seem to be working with its normal efficiency. Seeing Conner again without warning was shocking, confusing and—thrilling?
Horrified, she quickly dismissed that last emotion and pressed her fingers to her chest, wishing that her heart would slow down. It was not, definitely not, thrilling that he was back on the island. If she’d been asked to choose the least suitable man to be a doctor on Glenmore, it would have been Conner MacNeil.
Over the years, she’d thought of him often.
Too often.
She’d wondered where he was and what he was doing. She’d imagined him languishing in some jail, maybe in a foreign country; she’d imagined him sitting by a pool in a tax haven, having made piles of money by some unspeakably dubious means.
Never, in her most extravagant fantasies, had she imagined him training as a doctor and never, in those same dreams, had she imagined him returning to Glenmore.
One thing she knew for sure; the calm, tranquil routine of Glenmore Island was about to be overturned.
She didn’t know what sort of doctor Conner was going to prove to be, but she knew it wasn’t the sort that the islanders were used to seeing.
CONNER buzzed for his first patient and braced himself for the reaction.
He wasn’t disappointed.
The first man who walked through his door took one look at him, gave a horrified gasp and immediately backed out, muttering that he’d ‘wait for the other doctor’.
Conner watched him leave, his handsome face expressionless. Clearly people had long memories and he understood all about that. He hadn’t forgotten a single minute of his time on Glenmore.
With a dismissive shrug, he buzzed for the next patient and the moment Susan Ellis walked through the door, he prepared himself for a repeat performance. If he had any supporters among the islanders—and he was beginning to doubt that he had—this lady wouldn’t be among them. She ran the shop at the harbour and she had reason to know him better than most.
‘Good morning, Mrs Ellis.’ He kept his tone suitably neutral but her face reflected her shock at seeing him.
‘Conner MacNeil! So the rumours are true, then.’ She glanced behind her, obviously wondering if she’d wandered into the wrong building, and Conner lifted an eyebrow.
‘Is there something I can help you with, Mrs Ellis?’ Perhaps this wasn’t going to work after all.
‘I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it.’
It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her to think quickly because there was a queue of patients waiting but then he realised that the queue was probably dwindling by the second so a slightly longer consultation wasn’t likely to matter.
‘If you’d rather see Logan, go ahead. My feelings will remain intact.’
‘I’m not thinking about your feelings,’ she said tartly. ‘I’m thinking about my health. I assume Logan knows you’re here?’
‘You think I broke a window and climbed in? Looking for drugs, maybe?’
She gave him a reproving look. ‘Don’t give me sarcasm, Conner MacNeil. I’m not afraid to admit that you wouldn’t leap to mind as someone to turn to in times of trouble.’
Clearly recalling the details of their last encounter, Conner relented slightly. ‘I don’t blame you for that.’
She studied him from the safety of the doorway, her mouth compressed into a firm line of disapproval. ‘So you’ve mended your ways. Are you really a doctor?’
‘Apparently.’
‘There’s plenty on this island who will be surprised to hear that.’
‘I’m sure that’s true.’ Conner kept his tone level. ‘Are you going or staying? Because if you’re staying, you may as well sit down. Or we can carry on this consultation standing, up if that’s what you would prefer.’
‘Not very friendly, are you?’
‘I presumed you were looking for a doctor, not a date.’
Susan Ellis gave a reluctant laugh. ‘You always were a sharp one, I’ll give you that.’ After a moment’s hesitation she closed the door and sat down gingerly on the edge of the seat, as if she hadn’t quite decided whether she was going to stay or not. ‘I’m not sure if I can talk about this with you.’
Conner sighed. It was going to be a long day. ‘As I said, if you’d rather see Logan, I quite understand.’
She fiddled with the strap of her handbag and then put it on the floor in a decisive movement. ‘No,’ she said firmly. ‘I’ve never been one to live in the past. Times change. People change. If you’re a doctor then— I don’t suppose you’ll be able to help me anyway.’
‘Try me.’
‘It’s hard to put a finger on when it all started, but it’s been a while.’ She glanced at Conner and he sat in silence, just listening. ‘Probably been almost a year. I’m tired, you see. All the time. And I know doctors hate hearing that. You’re going to say it’s just my age, but—’
‘I haven’t said anything yet, Mrs Ellis. You speak your lines and then I’ll speak mine.’ He could have been wrong but he thought he saw her shoulders relax slightly.
‘Fair enough. Well, I feel washed out and exhausted a lot of the time. It doesn’t matter how well I sleep or how much rest I take, I’m still tired.’ She hesitated and then sighed. ‘And a little depressed, if I’m honest. But that’s probably because I just feel so … slow. If this is getting old, I want none of it.’
‘Have you gained weight?’
She stiffened. ‘Are you going to lecture me on my eating?’
‘Are you going to answer the question?’
Susan shifted self consciously, automatically pulling in her stomach and straightening her shoulders. ‘Yes, I’ve gained weight, but I suppose that’s my age as well. You just can’t eat so much when you get older and it’s hard to change old habits. Aren’t you going to make notes? Logan always keeps meticulous notes.’
‘I prefer to listen. I’ll do the writing part later.’ Conner stood up and walked towards her, his eyes concentrating on her face. ‘Your skin is dry. Is that usual for you?’
‘Didn’t used to be but it’s usual now. My hair’s the same.’ She tilted her face so that he could take a closer look. ‘Observant, aren’t you?’
‘Sometimes.’ Having looked at her skin, Conner took her hands in his and examined them carefully. Then he looked at her eyelids. ‘You have slight oedema. Can I take a look at your feet?’
‘My feet?’
‘That’s right.’ He squatted down and helped her slip her shoes off.
‘I never thought I’d have Conner MacNeil at my feet.’
‘Savour the moment, Mrs Ellis. Do they bother you?’
‘They’re aching terribly and I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re a bit swollen …’ She wiggled her toes. ‘I assumed it was the heat.’
Conner examined her feet and ankles. ‘From what I’ve seen, Glenmore is in the middle of a typical summer. Wind and rain. I’m not expecting any cases of heatstroke today.’ He was sure that her feet were swollen for a very different reason.
‘We had sunshine last week. You know Glenmore—the weather is always unpredictable. A bit like you.’ She looked at him, her gaze slightly puzzled. ‘You’re very gentle. I hadn’t expected that of you.’
‘I prefer not to leave marks on my victims.’ A faint smile on his face, Conner rose to his feet. ‘The swelling isn’t caused by heat, Mrs Ellis. I can tell you that much.’ He washed his hands and picked up the IV tray that Flora had left on the trolley. ‘I’m going to take some blood.’
‘Is that really necessary?’
‘No. I just want to cause you pain.’
His patient laughed out loud. ‘Revenge, Conner?’
‘Maybe. You called the police that night.’
‘Yes, I did.’ Susan stuck out her arm. ‘You were out of control. Only eight years old and helping yourself to what you wanted from my shop.’
He ran his fingers gently over her skin, searching for a vein. ‘I needed some stuff and I didn’t have the money to pay.’
‘And how often did I hear that from the children? Plenty of them did it.’ Her laughter faded and she shook her head as she watched him. ‘But I remember you. You were different. So bold. A real rebel. Even when John, our island policeman, gave you a talking to, you didn’t cry. It was as if you were used to being shouted at. As if you’d hardened yourself.’
Conner didn’t falter. ‘You have good veins. This shouldn’t be hard.’
‘You’re not going to excuse yourself, are you?’
‘Why would I do that?’
‘Because we found out later that there were things happening in your house.’ She spoke softly. ‘Plenty to explain why you were the way you were.’
Suddenly the room felt bitterly cold. Conner slipped a tourniquet over her wrist. ‘Everyone’s family is complicated. Mine was no different.’
‘No?’ Susan looked at him for a moment and then sighed. ‘I remember how you looked on that day. You just stood there, all defiant, your chin up and those blue eyes of yours flashing daggers. Oh, you were angry with me.’
‘As you said, you’d called the police.’
‘But it didn’t have any effect. You were never afraid of anyone or anything, were you, Conner MacNeil?’
Oh, yes, he’d been afraid. ‘Don’t do it. Don’t touch her—I’ll kill you if you touch her.’
With ruthless determination Conner pushed the memory back into the darkness where it belonged. ‘On the contrary, I was afraid of my cousin Kyla.’ Keeping his tone neutral, he tightened the tourniquet and studied the woman’s veins. ‘She had a deadly punch and a scream that would puncture your eardrums.’
‘Ah, Kyla. We all miss her. It’s not good when islanders leave. It’s not good for Glenmore.’
Swift and sure, Conner slipped the needle into the vein. ‘Depends on the islander, Mrs Ellis. There are some people that Glenmore is pleased to see the back of.’ He released the tourniquet and watched as the blood flowed. ‘I’m checking your thyroid function, by the way.’
‘Oh. Why?’
‘Because I think hypothyroidism is a possible explanation for your symptoms.’ Having collected the blood he needed, he withdrew the needle and covered the area with a pad. ‘Press on that for a moment, would you? If you leave here with bruises, that will be another black mark against me.’
She looked down at her arm. ‘That’s it? You’ve finished? You’re good at that. I barely felt it.’ The expression in her eyes cooled. ‘I suppose you have a lot of experience with needles.’
Conner picked up a pen and labelled the bottles. ‘I’m the first to admit that my list of vices is deplorably long, Mrs Ellis, but I’ve never done drugs.’
Her shoulders relaxed. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said softly. ‘That was uncalled for. If I’ve offended you …’
‘You haven’t offended me.’ He dropped the blood samples into a bag, wondering what had possessed him to take the job on Glenmore. He could have come in on the ferry, sorted out his business and left again.
‘Hypothyroidism, you say?’
‘There are numerous alternative explanations, of course, but this is a good place to start.’
‘I don’t know whether to be relieved or alarmed. I was expecting you to tell me it was nothing. Should I be worried?’
‘Worrying doesn’t achieve anything. If we find a problem, we’ll look for a solution.’ He completed the necessary form and then washed his hands again. ‘I’m going to wait for those results before we look at anything else because I have a strong feeling that we’ve found the culprit.’
‘You’re confident.’
‘Would you prefer me to fumble and dither?’
She laughed. ‘You always were a bright boy, Conner MacNeil. Too bright, some would say. Bright and a rebel. A dangerous combination.’
Conner sat back down in his chair. ‘Call the surgery in three days for the result and then make another appointment to see me. We can talk about what to do next.’
‘All right, I’ll do that. Thank you.’ Susan picked up her bag, rose to her feet and walked to the door. Then she turned. ‘I always regretted it, you know.’
Conner looked up. ‘Regretted what?’
‘Calling the police.’ Her voice was soft. ‘At the time I thought you needed a fright. I thought a bit of discipline might sort you out. But I was wrong. You were wild. Out of control. But what you needed was a bit of love. People to believe in you. I see that now. What with everything that was happening at home—your mum and dad. Of course, none of us knew the details at the time, but—’
‘You did the right thing calling the police, Mrs Ellis,’ Conner said in a cool tone. ‘In your position I would have called them, too.’
‘At the time I was angry that they didn’t charge you.’
‘I’m sure you were.’
It was her turn to smile. ‘Now I’m pleased they didn’t. Can I ask you something?’
‘You can ask. I don’t promise to answer.’
‘There was a spate of minor shoplifting at that time but everyone else was taking sweets and crisps. You took the oddest assortment of things. What did you want it all for?’
Conner leaned back and smiled. ‘I was making a bomb.’
‘He blew up the science lab!’ Flora stood in front of Logan, trying to make him to see reason.
‘Funny.’ Logan scanned the lab result in front of him. ‘Conner said that you’d bring that up.’
‘Of course I’m bringing it up. It says everything about the type of person he is.’
‘Was.’ Logan lifted his eyes to hers. ‘It tells you who he was. Not who he is.’
‘You really think he’s changed?’
‘Are you the same person you were at fifteen?’
Agonisingly shy, barely able to string a sentence together in public. Flora flushed. ‘No,’ she said huskily. ‘Of course not.’
Logan shrugged. ‘Perhaps he’s changed, too.’
‘And what if he hasn’t? What sort of doctor is he going to make?’
‘An extremely clever one. Most people wouldn’t have had such a good understanding of the reactivity series to cause that explosion. Anyway, I thought you were relieved that I’d found another doctor.’
‘I was, but I never thought for a moment it would be— I mean, Conner?’ Flora’s expression was troubled. ‘He’s right, you know. The locals won’t be happy. What if they make life difficult for him?’
‘They always did. He’ll cope. Conner is as tough as they come.’
‘I can’t believe he’s a doctor. How did you find out? I mean, he vanished without trace.’
‘I stayed in touch with him.’ Logan lifted his gaze to hers. ‘He’s my cousin, Flora. Family. I knew he was a doctor. When I knew I needed help, he seemed the obvious choice.’
‘Are you sure? He used to be very unstable. Unreliable. Rebellious. Disruptive.’ Attractive, compelling, addictive.
‘You’re describing the teenager.’
‘He created havoc.’ she looked at him, wondering why she had to remind him of something that he must know himself. ‘He was suspended from school three times. If there’d been an alternative place for him to go, I’m sure he would have been expelled. Not only did he blow up the science lab, he set off a firework in the library, he burned down the MacDonalds’ barn—the list of things he did is endless. He was wild, Logan. Totally out of control.’ And impossibly, hopelessly attractive. There hadn’t been a woman on Glenmore who hadn’t dreamed of taming him. Herself included.
She’d wanted to help.
She’d wanted.
She pushed the thought away quickly. She’d been a dreamy teenager but she was an adult now, a grown woman and far too sensible to see Conner as anything other than a liability.
‘His parents were going through a particularly acrimonious divorce at the time. There were lots of rumours about that household. My aunt—his mother—left when he was eleven. That’s tough on any child.’ Logan turned his attention back to the pile in his in-tray. ‘Enough to shake the roots of any family. It’s not surprising he was disruptive.’
‘He isn’t interested in authority.’
Logan threw the pen down on his desk. ‘Perhaps he thinks that those in authority let him down.’
Flora bit her lip. ‘Perhaps they did. But if that’s the case then it makes even less sense that he’s back. He couldn’t wait to get away from Glenmore the first time around and he stayed away for twelve years.’
‘Is it that long?’ Logan studied her face thoughtfully. ‘I haven’t been counting, but obviously you have.’
‘It was a wild guess,’ Flora muttered quickly, ‘but either way, it’s been a long time. And the question is, why has he picked this particular moment to come back?’
‘Why does it matter? If he turns out to be a lousy doctor, I’m the one who will pay the price. Or is there more to this than your concern for the reputation of Glenmore Medical Centre? Is this personal, Flora?’ Logan’s voice was gentle. ‘Is there something going on that I should know about?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous.’ Flora rose to her feet swiftly, her heart pounding. ‘And I think it’s obvious to everyone that I’m not his type. I’ve never been attracted to unsuitable men.’ A painful lump sat in the pit of her stomach. He’d never looked at her. Not once.
‘Then you’re probably the only woman on the island who wasn’t,’ Logan said mildly, ‘if I recall correctly, Conner had quite a following, and the more reprehensible his behaviour, the bigger the following.’
‘I suppose some of the girls found him attractive because he was forbidden territory.’ Flora wished her heart would slow down. ‘I still can’t believe he’s a doctor.’
‘I know you can’t. You didn’t exactly hide your astonishment,’ Logan said dryly and Flora felt a twinge of guilt.
‘I didn’t mean to be rude but weren’t you surprised when you found out?’
‘No.’ Logan rolled his shoulders to ease the stiffness of sitting. ‘Conner always was ferociously clever.’
‘He hated school. He was barely ever there.’
‘And he still managed straight As in every subject. As I said—we all let him down. He was too clever to be trapped behind a desk and forced to learn in a prescribed pattern. People were too conventional to notice the brain behind the behavioural problems.’
Flora gave a puzzled frown. She’d never thought of it that way before. ‘Well, he obviously learned to study at some point. Where did he train, anyway?’
‘In the army.’
‘In the—’ Stunned, Flora swallowed. ‘He was in the army?’
‘Army medic.’ Logan flipped through a pile of papers on his desk and removed a file. ‘Read.’ He handed it to her. ‘It’s impressive stuff. Perhaps it will set your mind at rest about his ability and dedication.’
‘But the army requires discipline. All the things Conner doesn’t—’
‘Read,’ Logan said firmly. ‘The patients might doubt him to begin with, but I don’t want the practice staff making the same mistake. The man’s qualifications and experience are better than mine. Read, Flora.’
Flora opened the file reluctantly. After a moment, she looked up. ‘He’s a surgeon?’
‘Among other things. I did tell you that the man was clever.’
Her eyes flickered back to the page. ‘Afghanistan? That doesn’t sound very safe.’
‘No.’ Logan’s voice was dry. ‘But it sounds very Conner. I don’t suppose anything safe would hold his interest for long.’
‘Which brings me back to my original question.’ She dropped the file back on his desk. ‘What’s he doing back on Glenmore? He hates Glenmore and if he still needs adrenaline and excitement in his life, he’s going to last five minutes on this island.’
‘I don’t think it’s any of my business.’ Logan leaned back in his chair. ‘He’s back, that’s all I need to know.’
‘It’s going to be like putting a match to a powder keg. And I’m just worried he’ll let you down in the middle of the summer tourist season. You and all the islanders.’
Logan’s gaze followed her. ‘They let him down. This is his chance to even the score or prove himself. Either way, he’s family, Flora, and I’m giving him this opportunity. It’s up to him what he chooses to do with it.’
Flora bit her lip. Family. On Glenmore family and community was everything. It was what made the island what it was. But Conner had rejected everything that Glenmore stood for. He’d walked away from it.
So why was he back?
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