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Dedication

I dedicate this book, with deep respect and great love, to my parents. You not only gave me the gift of life but an unrelenting passion to live it fully. For that I am so very grateful.

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Epigraph

1. I’m No Guru

2. Harvey Keitel and Windows of Opportunity

3. Nothing Fails like Success

4. Be a Rock Star at Work

5. Your Days Define Your Life

6. Drink Coffee with Gandhi

7. Get Some Skin in the Game

8. Be into Breezes

9. Make Time to Think

10. Leadership Begins on the Extra Mile

11. Mick Jagger and Reference Points

12. Business Is Relationships

13. Life Lessons from SpongeBob SquarePants

14. How to Be a Happier Human

15. Work Hard, Get Lucky

16. Know Your Genius

17. Listen Twice as Much as You Speak

18. Your Customers Buy with Their Hearts

19. Learn to Say No

20. Burn Your Boats

21. Grow Leaders Fast

22. Your Four-Minute Mile

23. Push the Envelope

24. On Obituaries and the Meaning of Life

25. Leadership Isn’t a Popularity Contest

26. What Do You Evangelize?

27. Under the Kimono: My Best Practices

28. Culture Is King

29. Your Schedule Doesn’t Lie

30. Shine as a Parent

31. Be a Merchant of Wow

32. Getting What You Want While Loving What You Have

33. Think like a CEO

34. Act like an Athlete

35. Be Wildly Enthusiastic

36. Success Isn’t Sexy

37. On Cuddle Parties and the Sad State of the World

38. The Value of Good

39. Grace under Pressure

40. To Be More Productive, Relax and Have More Fun

41. The Two Magic Words

42. The Value of Dying Daily

43. Client-Focused vs. Out to Lunch

44. Lead Without Title

45. Do Your Part

46. Do You Play?

47. Avoid the “Four F’s Syndrome”

48. Problems Reveal Genius

49. Love Your Irritations

50. Speak like a Superstar

51. Learning or Decaying

52. Simple Tactics for Superb Relationships

53. Rock Stars as Poets

54. The Innovator’s Mantra

55. Pleasure vs. Happiness

56. The $600 Sandwich

57. Good Business Is Good for Business

58. Build Success Structures

59. The Person Who Experiences Most Wins

60. Brand like Diddy

61. Get Big into Blessings

62. Be Wise, Early Rise

63. Who Made Success a Dirty Word?

64. Get Great at Life

65. The Steve Jobs Question

66. What’s Missing from Your Coolness?

67. No Ask, No Get

68. Sell Your Desk

69. Get Fit to Lead

70. Extreme Leadership and Kids’ Clothing

71. The Seven Forms of Wealth

72. Apply the U2 Standard

73. Learn More to Earn More

74. See Through the Eyes of Understanding

75. The Heart of Your House

76. Become an Inspirational Human Being

77. Make a Dent in the Universe

78. Not All Leaders Are the Same

79. Six Reasons to Set Goals

80. Remember the Boomerang Effect

81. Make People Feel Good

82. Commit to First Class

83. Do a Clean Sweep

84. Follow the Million Dollar Baby Rule

85. The Earth Is Small

86. Guests Are God

87. The Beauty of Time

88. On Mountains and Mastering Change

89. What Happened to “Please”?

90. Bon Jovi and the Power of Focus

91. Do a “101 Things to Do Before I Die” List

92. Spend Time with Your Kids

93. Get Goofy at Work

94. Revere Great Design

95. On Evian Water and You as a Big-Time Dreamer

96. Be like Garth

97. Don’t Give Up

98. Get Big on Self-Care

99. Guess Who Inspires Me?

100. How to Live Forever

101. Lay Claim to Greatness

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About the Publisher

Epigraph

“Life is pure adventure and the sooner we realize that, the quicker we will be able to treat life as art.”

Maya Angelou

“I used to think that one day I’d be able to resolve the different drives I have in different directions, the tensions between the different people I am. Now I realize that is who I am. I do feel I’m getting closer to the song in my head. I wasn’t looking for grace. But luckily grace was looking for me.”

Bono, lead singer of U2, as quoted in Rolling Stone

1
I’m No Guru

The media sometimes calls me a leadership (or self-help) “guru.” I’m not. I’m just an ordinary guy who happens to have learned ideas and tools that have helped many human beings reach their best lives and many organizations get to world class.

But I must be really clear: I’m no different from you. I have my struggles, my frustrations and my own fears—along with my hopes, goals and dreams. I’ve had good seasons and some deeply painful ones. I’ve made some spectacularly good choices and some outrageously bad mistakes. I’m very human—a work in progress. If I have ideas that you find insightful, please know it’s simply because I spend my days focused on the knowledge you are about to experience. Thinking about practical ways to help you play your biggest game as a human being and reach greatness. Dwelling on how I can help companies get to the extraordinary. Do anything long enough and you’ll get some depth of insight and understanding about it. Then they’ll call you a guru.

A man at a signing I did at a bookstore in Bangalore, India, heard me say, “I’m no guru.” He came up to me and said: “Why are you so uncomfortable being called a guru? ‘Gu’ simply means ‘darkness’ in Sanskrit and ‘ru’ simple means ‘dispel.’ So the word ‘guru’ simply speaks of one who dispels the darkness and brings more understanding and light.” Nice point. Made me think.

I’ve had good seasons and some
deeply painful ones. I’ve made some
spectacularly good choices and some outrageously bad mistakes. I’m very human—a work in progress.

I guess my discomfort stems from the fact that if you think I’m different from you, then you might say, “Well, I can’t do the kinds of things Robin talks about because he has talents and abilities I don’t have. All the stuff he talks about is easy for him to do. He’s this guru.” Nope. Sorry to disappoint you. I’m just a guy working hard to make the best of his days, trying to be a great single dad to my two wonderful children and hoping he’s—in some way—making a difference in peoples’ lives. No guru here. But I do like the “dispelling the darkness” point. Need to learn more about that one. Maybe some guru can help me.

2
Harvey Keitel and Windows of Opportunity

I don’t always get it right (I told you I’m no guru). But please know that I try so hard to walk my talk and to ensure my video is in alignment with my audio. Still, I am a human being, and that means sometimes I slip (I’ve yet to meet a perfect one). Here’s what I mean.

I spend a lot of time encouraging the readers of my books and the participants at my workshops on personal and organizational leadership to “run toward your fears” and to seize those “cubic centimeters of chance” (opportunities) when they present themselves. I challenge my clients to dream, to shine and to dare, because to me a life well lived is all about reaching for your highest and your best. And, in my mind, the person who experiences the most wins. Most of the time, I am a poster boy for visiting the places that scare me and doing the things that make me feel uncomfortable. But recently, I didn’t. Sorry.

I was downtown at the Four Seasons in Toronto, in the lobby getting ready for a speech I was about to give to a company called Advanced Medical Optics, which is a long-standing leadership coaching client of ours and an impressive organization. I look up and guess who I see? Harvey Keitel. Yes, the Harvey “Reservoir Dogs Big Movie Star” Keitel. And what does the man who wrote The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari do? I shrink from greatness.

Each day, life will send you little windows of
opportunity. Your destiny will ultimately be defined by how you respond to these windows of opportunity.

I don’t know why I didn’t stand up and walk over and make a new friend. I’ve done it with baseball legend Pete Rose at the Chicago airport (we ended up sitting next to each other all the way to Phoenix). I did it last summer with Henry Kravis, one of the planet’s top financiers in the lobby of a hotel in Rome (I was with my kids, and Colby, my 11-year-old son, thought he was pretty cool). I did it with Senator Edward Kennedy when I saw him in Boston. I even did it with guitar virtuoso Eddie Van Halen when I was a kid growing up in Halifax, Nova Scotia. But I missed the chance to connect with Harvey Keitel.

Each day, life will send you little windows of opportunity. Your destiny will ultimately be defined by how you respond to these windows of opportunity. Shrink from them and your life will be small. Feel the fear and run to them anyway, and your life will be big. Life’s just too short to play little. Even with your kids, you only have a tiny window to develop them and champion their highest potential. And to show them what unconditional love looks like. When that window closes, it’s hard to reopen it.

If I see Harvey Keitel again, I promise you that I’ll sprint toward him. He may think I’m a celebrity stalker until we start to chat. And then he’ll discover the truth: I’m simply a man who seizes the gifts that life presents to him.

3
Nothing Fails like Success

Richard Carrion, the CEO of Puerto Rico’s top bank, once shared a line with me that I’ll never forget: “Robin, nothing fails like success.” Powerful thought. You, as well as your organization, are most vulnerable when you are most successful. Success actually breeds complacency, inefficiency and—worst of all—arrogance. When people and businesses get really successful, they often fall in love with themselves. They stop innovating, working hard, taking risks and begin to rest on their laurels. They go on the defensive, spending their energy protecting their success rather than staying true to the very things that got them to the top. Whenever I share this point with a roomful of CEOs, every single one of them nods in agreement. Please let me give you a real-world example from my own life.

This past weekend, I took my kids to our favorite Italian restaurant. The food is incredible there. The best bresaola outside of Italy. Heavenly pasta. Super foamy lattes that make me want to give up my job and become a barista. But the service at this place is bad. Bad, bad, bad (like it is at most places). Why? Because the place is always full. And because they are doing so well, they’ve taken the lines out front for granted. And guess what? It’s the beginning of their end.

I love taking pictures. My dad taught me to record the journey of my life with photos. So I generally carry a little camera around with me. I asked our server if she would snap a picture of my children and me as we dug into our spaghetti. “I don’t have time” was the curt reply. Unbelievable. Too busy to take five seconds to keep a customer happy. Too busy to help out a little. Too busy to show some humanity.

The more successful you and your organization become, the more humble and devoted to your customers you need to be.

“Nothing fails like success.” Richard Carrion gets it. So does David Neeleman, the CEO of JetBlue, who observed: “When you’re making money and good margins, you tend to get sloppy.” Many CEOs don’t. The more successful you and your organization become, the more humble and devoted to your customers you need to be. The more committed to efficiency and relentless improvement you need to be. The faster you need to play. The more value you need to add. Because the moment you stop doing the very things that got you to the top of the mountain is the very moment you begin the slide down to the valley.

4
Be a Rock Star at Work

Just finished reading an article in Fortune on the Google guys and all their economic success. It inspired a torrent of ideas (reading’s like that, isn’t it?). It got me thinking about the importance of showing up fully at work—giving the fullness of your brilliance and playing full out. Being wildly passionate about your To Do’s. Being breathtakingly committed to your big projects and best opportunities. Being a rock star in whatever you do each day to put bread on your table.

Work gives meaning to our lives. It influences our self-worth and the way we perceive our place under the sun. Being great at what you do isn’t just something you do for the organization you work for—it’s a gift you give yourself. Being spectacularly great at your work promotes personal respect, excitement and just makes your life a lot more interesting. Good things happen to people who do good things. And when you bring your highest talents and deepest devotion to the work you do, what you are really doing is setting yourself up for a richer, happier and more fulfilling experience of living.

How do you feel after an ultra-productive day? How do you feel when you’ve given your best, had fun with your teammates and gone the extra mile for customers? How do you feel when you’ve brought more heart to what you do for a living? How do you feel when you reached for your greatest goals and grabbed them? It feels pretty good, doesn’t it? And you don’t need to have the biggest title to do the best job. This point makes me think of the words of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.—one of my heroes—who once observed: “If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or as Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.’”

And you don’t need to have the biggest title to do the best job.

So be a rock star at work today. Walk onto the stage of this day and play your heart out. Give the performance of your life. Wow your audience and get them cheering for you. Be the Bono of selling staplers. Be the Keith Richards of accounting. Be the Jimi Hendrix of human resources. And when you get famous and people from all over ask you for your autograph, make sure you drop me a line. I’d love to hear from you.

5
Your Days Define Your Life

Big idea: Your days are your life in miniature. As you live your hours, so you create your years. As you live your days, so you craft your life. What you do today is actually creating your future. The words you speak, the thoughts you think, the food you eat and the actions you take are defining your destiny—shaping who you are becoming and what your life will stand for. Small choices lead to giant consequences—over time. There’s no such thing as an unimportant day.

As you live your days, so you craft your life.

Each one of us is called to greatness. Each one of us has an exquisite power within us. Each one of us can have a significant impact on the world around us—if we so choose. But for this power that resides internally to grow, we need to use it. And the more you exercise it, the stronger it gets. The more this power gets tapped, the more confident you become. Henry David Thoreau related to this point well when he wrote: “I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of a human being to elevate their life by conscious endeavor.” And advertising guru Donny Deutsch added a more current spin on the idea when he wrote in his book Often Wrong, Never in Doubt: “For every person with the stuff, the one out of a hundred who goes to a rarefied place is the one who says, ‘why not me?’ and goes for it.”

The best among us are not more gifted than the rest. They just take little steps each day as they march toward their biggest life. And the days slip into weeks, the weeks into months and before they know it, they arrive at a place called Extraordinary.

6
Drink Coffee with Gandhi

Reading is one of the best disciplines I know of to stay “on your game” and at your highest. Reading from a great book is really all about having a conversation with the author. And we become our conversations. Just think, tonight—by reading Mahatma Gandhi’s autobiography, My Experiments with Truth, over a cup of coffee—you can get behind this great man’s eyeballs and learn what made him tick. Want to hang out with Madonna tomorrow? Grab her book. Same for Jack Welch, Mother Teresa, Bill Gates, Salvador Dali or the Dalai Lama. And reading a book by someone you respect allows some of their brilliance to rub off on you. The hand that puts down a great book will never be the same. As Oliver Wendell Holmes observed: “A mind once stretched by a new idea can never return to its original dimensions.”

When I was growing up my father once told me: “Cut back on your rent or cut back on what you spend on food but never worry about investing money in a good book.” That powerful thought has accompanied me through life. His philosophy was that all it takes is one idea discovered in a single book to lift you to a whole new level and revolutionize the way you see the world. And so our home was filled with books. And now I try to devote at least an hour a day to reading. That habit alone has transformed me. Thank you, Dad.

Perhaps my greatest gift to my children when I die will be my library. I have books on leadership, relationships, business, philosophy, Wellness, spirituality, great lives and many of my other favored topics in it. Many of these I’ve picked up in bookshops from across the planet when I travel on business. These books have shaped my thinking. They have formed my personal philosophy. They have made me the man I am. To me, my books are priceless.