Buch lesen: «Her Forgiving Amish Heart»

Chapter One

Late spring, Lancaster County, Pennsylvania

She felt the first drops of rain as she steered her horse-drawn open wagon home after a visit to her friend Mary. Leah Stoltzfus sighed as she reached under the carriage seat for her umbrella. She probably should have headed home hours ago, but it had been so nice to spend time with Mary, who’d fallen in love and married Ethan Bontrager before moving into the house her husband owned in New Holland two years ago.

The light drizzle turned into a shower as Leah pushed open the umbrella while she continued to steer her horse. The patter of rain on fabric was soothing, and she smiled as she made a left turn. She was still miles away from home, but the downpour didn’t bother her. Until suddenly the wind picked up, so strong that it turned the umbrella inside out, ruining her rain covering beyond hope. She cried out when a gust tore off her prayer kapp. She tried to catch it, but it was a lost cause. When a sharp clap of thunder followed a bright flash of lightning, she knew she was in trouble. She needed to find a safe place to wait out the storm. She sent up a silent prayer that the Lord help her to find shelter soon. She had been terrified of thunderstorms since being caught in a severe one as a young child.

Yoder’s General Store loomed ahead as if the Lord had provided in Leah’s time of need. Relieved, she pulled into the parking lot and tied up her horse before she ran to the front entrance. Thunder rattled the building’s windows as she tugged to open the door, but it wouldn’t budge.

Locked! A flash of lightning made her flinch. The rain spilled down in buckets now, and the air temperature dropped quickly. Soaked, she hugged herself with her arms as she tried to keep calm. The wind gusted and blew the rain sideways while lightning continued to flash and was followed by horrific crashes of thunder.

Feeling desperate, Leah leaned her face against the window to peer inside and caught a tiny flicker of light from the back room. Thanks be to God! She hurried around to the rear entrance and hammered on the door with her fist. She waited for someone to come, her heart racing wildly as she tried not to shrink with fear every time there was lightning and thunder. She pounded again. Please, Lord. Please, Lord.

What was she going to do? Worried about her horse, she turned to leave.

The door flew open behind her. “Leah?” a male voice roared above the wind. “Is that you?”

She spun, then stared at the man who gazed at her from the open doorway. Henry Yoder. The last person she’d expected to see—and the last man she wanted anything to do with. He unsettled her. He’d once been her cousin Isaac’s best friend, until he’d betrayed him.

“I have to go.” She gasped. A boom of thunder made her duck for cover, her arms shielding her head.

“Leah.” His voice was soft and near. “Come in from the rain.” He captured her arm gently and pulled her into the store.

Leah was tempted to stay, her fear momentarily getting the better of her. Then she met Henry’s gaze and closed her eyes, debating. Storm versus Henry Yoder. She bucked up as she made the choice to rein in her fear. She sprang out the door.

“Leah!” he shouted as he came out after her.

She halted and met his concerned gaze. “My mare.”

Understanding brightened his blue eyes. He nodded. “We’ll put her in the storage barn. I’ll get your buggy.”

She shook her head, refusing to allow him to see how frightened she was. “I’ll get it.”

Their gazes locked. Henry stared at her, then inclined his head. “I’ll meet you over there.” He gestured toward the large pole-barn structure behind the store, then rushed out into the blinding rain after shutting the door behind him.

Water streamed in her eyes as she ran to her buggy. Her horse was antsy, shifting nervously as she whinnied. Concerned for the animal despite her fear, she took the time to stroke the animal’s neck. “I’m going to get you inside where it’s safe, girl.”

After one last pat, she lifted a leg to climb into the vehicle, slipping on the wet wood before she managed to get seated. Leah grabbed the leathers and steered the horse toward the Yoders’ outbuilding. Her heart gave a lurch when she saw that Henry had dragged open the two huge doors for her. He stood back and waved her into the building, but as she urged the mare closer, he grabbed hold of its halter and led her horse inside. The interior of the structure was dark except for the brief flashes of lightning that lit it up. Leah waited until he maneuvered her vehicle in as far as it could go before she let go of her tight hold on the reins and climbed down. Henry waited for her at the rear of the buggy.

“’Tis a little noisy, but she will be safe here,” he said. Rain plastered his dark hair to his head. Rivulets of water ran down his handsome face and his clothes were soaked, but he didn’t seem to mind. “Come on. Let’s get back to the store.”

Leah opened her mouth to refuse, to tell him that she would wait with her wagon inside the building, but then she closed it and nodded. She couldn’t be rude to Henry after he’d come to her aid. Besides, she wasn’t going to let the man see her as anyone other than a strong-minded individual who wasn’t fazed by anything. Especially by him. Bright lightning flashed, followed by a thunderous boom. She gasped. Except by thunderstorms.

A bright white bolt shot from the sky, and there was an explosion as it hit something in the distance. “Come on!” Henry urged. “Let’s go now before things get worse.” She was shocked, conscious of the warmth of his fingers when he caught her hand and tugged her with him as he ran.

* * *

Aware of Leah’s hand in his, Henry hurried to safety. The storm was a doozy. It had been a long time since he’d seen one this bad. He pulled open the door, tugged her inside, then shoved the door shut against a gust of wind.

“Are you oll recht?” he asked when he saw how hard she was breathing. Her eyes refused to meet his as she inclined her head. A crack of thunder made her flinch, and he reached for her and eased her away from the door. He flipped on the light in the storage room and urged her inside.

She glanced at him with alarm that told him she was as afraid of him as she was the storm. Hurt, he hid his reaction and softened his expression. “’Tis safer here,” he explained. He gave her a crooked smile. “No windows.”

Understanding flickered in her eyes and he was glad to see her relax.

She shivered. He realized that she was cold, soaked through like he was. “I’ll be right back,” he said. He hurried to the front of the store. Behind the counter hung a quilt made by his mother. His mam had hoped to sell it, but with the Amish as their main customers there was little opportunity for a sale, so it hung high on the wall simply as a decoration. Henry reached up, slipped it from the wall rack and returned to the storage room. He caught sight of Leah, off guard, hugging herself with her arms. She was bent forward as if she could shield herself from the raging storm outside.

He felt a painful lurch in his chest as he studied her without her knowledge. Wet blond hair, the bluest eyes and prettiest face he’d ever seen, Leah Stoltzfus was something to behold even as clearly upset as she was. He longed to pull her into his arms to comfort her, but from the look on her face when he’d answered the door, he knew she wouldn’t welcome his hug. She’d wanted to flee when she saw him and he understood why. Years ago Leah’s cousin Isaac and he had befriended some young Englishers during their time of rumspringa. Late one night, while Henry waited for Isaac to join them, Brad Smith and his English friends had spray-painted graffiti over the exterior of Whittier’s Store. When Isaac had arrived on the scene, Brad had shoved a can of spray paint into Isaac’s hands, then dragged Henry with him as he fled while the sound of police sirens echoed in the distance. Brad had warned Henry against telling the authorities who was responsible and promised retribution against him, his family and Isaac if Henry did. This new side of Brad had terrified him, and so Henry had kept his mouth shut and allowed his best friend to take the blame. Isaac had stayed silent and suffered because of it. Henry had waited too long before he’d finally come forward, confessed before the church congregation and asked for forgiveness. The community had forgiven him and so had Isaac. But given her cousin’s suffering because of Henry, and the fact that Leah had avoided him ever since, he didn’t think she had forgiven him.

Henry sighed with disappointment before he eased back to where she couldn’t see him. He made a loud sound to give her warning of his return. With the quilt draped over his arm, he entered.

“Here,” he said as he approached. He tried unsuccessfully not to be offended when she instinctively backed away. He exhaled loudly. “Leah, ’tis just something to warm you.”

Her eyes flickered as she saw what he held. “I’m sorry.” He saw her swallow hard. “I...I’m not exactly fond of thunderstorms.” She seemed surprised by her admission.

He smiled as he moved closer, relieved that she didn’t withdraw as he draped the quilt gently around her shoulders. He gazed at her and she stared back. The room was small, and he could see her fear of the storm in her pretty blue eyes, hear it in her heightened breathing, although he could tell she was struggling to fight it. “Are you warmer now?”

“Ja, danki.” She glanced away.

“I don’t bite, Leah.”

Her head came up and anger lit her expression. “You think that’s funny?”

Holding her gaze, he shook his head. “Nay.” He was glad to see her angry and less afraid.

“How long will this storm go on?” she complained after another clap of thunder reverberated throughout the store.

“Are you asking me for an answer?” he quipped with amusement.

He felt happy when Leah narrowed her gaze at him. Anger was so much better than fear. She’d endure the storm better if he continued to taunt and tease, keeping her fury alive.

“What are you doing out in the storm anyway, Leah?” he asked.

“I was—” She stopped. “What business of it is yours?” she snapped.

Henry shrugged. “None, I guess. I’m just curious.” He leaned casually back against a stack of cardboard boxes filled with merchandise. “Doesn’t seem smart to venture out in a storm so far from home.”

She opened and closed her mouth several times, clearly trying to come up with a retort. Her lips firmed. He hid his pleasure when her eyes shot daggers at him. “It wasn’t storming when I left this morning for New Holland,” she replied through tight lips.

“You went to see Mary and Ethan Bontrager.”

She looked shocked. “How did you know?”

He was starting to feel uncomfortable with his wet hair and soaked clothes. “I know that you and Mary are friends and Mary married Ethan, then moved to New Holland.”

She looked horrified. “How do you know who my friends are? You’ve not been coming to church services or any Visiting Sundays!”

“Ja, but I’m friends with Isaac.”

“Isaac and you are spending time together?” She gasped.

He had to stifle his own spark of anger. “Ja, your cousin has forgiven me as the other members of the community have.” He paused. “Except for you.”

Her eyes widened as she gazed up at him. She was obviously at a loss on how to respond. He detected a flash of remorse in her eyes before she looked away. The fact that she didn’t deny it hurt. “I forgave you,” she mumbled, looking away.

Skeptical, he pushed away from the boxes. “I’m going to check outside. See how the storm is doing.” He hoped it would be on its way out, for it hurt to endure Leah’s judgment of him. He strode out of the storage room toward the back entrance. He opened the door and released a sharp breath when he saw the pouring rain. He detected a brightening in the sky that told him the worst of the storm has passed. The distant rumble of thunder confirmed it. The thunderstorm had moved on, leaving only rain. The wind had left as quickly as it’d blown in.

Henry shut the door. He wasn’t eager to return to the storage room. He’d lived with the guilt of what he’d done long enough. He didn’t need Leah Stoltzfus reminding him of his past mistakes. He still felt bad enough as it was. He moved to the window to stare at the rain until it slowed, then finally stopped.

* * *

Henry was gone a long time. It shouldn’t bother her but it did. Leah listened and realized that she could no longer hear thunder. The small room where she stood had muffled the storm and she felt less frightened. Or was it her fury at Henry that had caused her to forget the storm?

Should she wait for his return? She closed her eyes. She wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t come back. She’d been awful to him, and she felt bad about it.

He and Isaac talked about me? And just like that her anger returned. She closed her eyes and prayed. Anger was a sin. She needed to fight it.

’Tis not right to be angry or deliberately cruel to a man who helped me when I needed aid most.

She didn’t know how to deal with Henry Yoder—or any man for that matter. She’d never had a sweetheart, never had any man’s attention and her at nearly twenty-four years of age.

Leah closed her eyes. Resigned to being an old maid, she would choose her own future. She ran her fingers across the multicolored quilt that Henry had given her. The pattern was lovely, the stitches neat and even. She always appreciated good craftsmanship. One day, she’d open a craft store where she’d stock quilts just like this one. She’d use the money she’d earned and saved for years, sewing prayer kapps and clothes for other church community members, and making craft items and selling them wherever she could. She also did mending for a few of the women who said they were too busy. It wouldn’t matter if she didn’t have a husband and children. She would focus on her dream and she would be happy. With the Lord’s help, she’d find the peace and enjoyment in being a store owner—and she wouldn’t let it upset her that her father never urged her to find a husband like he did with her sisters. He’d pushed her older sister, Nell, to find a husband first—which she did, although the fact that he was an Englisher had been a problem at first. Then, there was Meg. Three years younger than her, Meg was happily married to Peter Zook, a nice young man and member of their church community. As for her other younger sisters Ellie and Charlie, there was plenty of time for them to find sweethearts, although she’d witnessed firsthand the attention that the community boys gave them. She knew they would marry and have families of their own, even if she never did.

Which bought her thoughts back to Henry Yoder. The only man who had shown her kindness—for a little while anyway. His snarky attitude afterward just confirmed that she wasn’t worth any man’s attention.

She scowled. Not that she would ever like Henry Yoder. The man couldn’t be trusted. She had forgiven him for what he’d done to Isaac. But forget? Never.

Leah wondered how long she should stay in the room. Was Henry upset enough to leave her there? To lock up the store and go home? And what would she do if he did? How would she get her horse and wagon? Were the pole-barn doors locked? Would she be able to slide them open if they weren’t? Panic set in and she had trouble catching her breath. She recognized her symptoms as hyperventilation, having suffered from it once before. Yet, she was powerless to help herself.

“Leah, the rain’s stopped.” Henry entered as she struggled to slow her breathing. She heard him utter an exclamation and saw him rush out of the room. He returned within minutes with a paper bag. “Leah,” he coaxed softly, “breathe into this.”

She looked up with relief as she took it and held it over her nose and mouth. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply into the bag until she was able to draw a normal breath. She could sense Henry’s presence, feel his concern. She was a terrible person. The man had been there for her twice, and she’d snapped at him like a shrew.

Slowly she opened her eyes and faced him. Henry studied her with concern, which eased when she pulled the bag from her mouth. He was taller than her by several inches. She looked up at him with remorse. “I’m sorry.”

He frowned. “What for?”

“My behavior.” For some reason, her voice was hoarse and she didn’t know why.

The grin that curved up his mouth lit up his face and sky blue eyes. “Leah,” he said, “I was trying to make you mad.”

She jerked. “What?”

His lips shifted into a gentle smile. “While you were livid, you forgot about the storm.”

Her anger left as quickly as it had come. “You knew I was terrified,” she said softly.

“Ja.”

She blushed. “I didn’t want you to see.”

The good humor left his expression. “I understand.”

Leah stared at him and wondered if he did understand, but she didn’t want to discuss her fear anymore, and she prayed and hoped that he would keep her weakness to himself. “You won’t tell anyone?”

He appeared confused. “About—”

“That I’m a coward and deathly afraid of thunderstorms.”

His eyes widened. “You’re no coward, Leah. A coward wouldn’t have run out into the storm to see her horse to safety.”

Leah blinked, pleased by his words.

“I’ll not say a word about today, Leah.” Henry looked sad, and Leah struggled with the urge to do something to make his sadness go away. “No one will know that you spent any time here with me in the store. Your secret is safe.”

And for some odd reason, Leah felt dejected as he preceded her out of the room, then out of the store...and as she watched him open the barn doors for her and waited for her to get into her wagon. As she steered her buggy home, the feeling intensified and tears stung her eyes. She had no idea why she was so emotional about taking shelter during a thunderstorm.

* * *

Henry stood near the barn and watched Leah leave. His thoughts were in turmoil. Everyone in the community had forgiven him for keeping silent except Leah Stoltzfus—and himself. Despite his hurt feelings, he liked being in Leah’s company. She was a mystery that he wanted to unravel. It was true that he hadn’t been back to her church community. His family had left after learning about Isaac’s involvement in the vandalism to Whittier’s Store. His father didn’t want Isaac to be a bad influence, which made him feel worse. After he’d come forward and confessed and told the truth about Isaac’s innocence before Leah’s church community, his parents had been so horrified by Henry’s involvement that they’d felt compelled to stay with their new church district. Despite the new people he’d met, he missed his friends. Isaac had been more than generous in his forgiveness of him. They were close friends again, and Henry could never repay Isaac enough for thinking to protect him by accepting blame.

He’d wanted for a long time to return to the church community he’d been a part of for most of his life. He wanted to see the Lapps every Sunday, to spend more time with Isaac and his siblings, and the Zooks and all of the other families he’d known and cared about. After this afternoon he wanted to see and spend time with Leah again. One way or another he’d find a way to make her forgive him—and like him. There was something about the woman that made his heart race. She made him feel alive. From the moment he’d seen her outside the door, he’d known who she was. He was glad that he’d been there to make sure she was all right. He’d liked helping her, wished he could have done more.

Henry went back inside. He peeked into the storage room, saw the damp quilt that he’d placed around her shoulders and felt the kick to his belly caused by her absence. He’d caught her stroking the stitches along the pattern as if she appreciated the quilt and all the work that had gone into it. There was something about her expression that got to him. He wanted to learn all of her secrets. “I’m going to make you like me, Leah Stoltzfus, if it’s the last thing I do.”

He draped the damp quilt over the counter to dry, then flipped off the light and went back into the rear room to finish the store’s bookkeeping. This building was the only one on the property with electricity. The church elders allowed it in certain businesses, although not in their homes and outbuildings. Cell phones were allowed for business use, but his parents were opposed to them so Yoder’s General Store didn’t have one. Henry knew that would have to change if they were ever to increase their business to include more of the English. Until then he’d keep his mouth shut and work in the store. He had a dream of his own and it wasn’t to take over the family business. But he stifled that dream because he owed it to his parents for all the trouble he’d caused them. Now, with his father suddenly in the hospital and his mother spending her days at his bedside, it was up to him to make sure Yoder’s General Store ran smoothly as usual.

Someday, if the Lord deemed it, he would have his choice of making a living—as a cabinetmaker. Not in competition with Noah Lapp, who had a good business crafting quality furniture. But similar to what Ethan Bontrager did for a living in New Holland, making kitchen cabinets, vanities and bookcases. He and Isaac had spent some time in Noah’s furniture shop. He’d loved feeling the texture of the wood, instinctively knowing that he’d be good at cabinetry.

Henry grinned as he recalled Leah’s reaction to his comment about her and Mary Bontrager. Isaac and he had never discussed Leah’s friendship with Mary. He knew because he’d seen them together often enough when he’d attended church service or Visiting Sunday gatherings. Isaac and he had talked about Henry’s secret desire for his future, and Isaac had mentioned that Mary Hershberger Bontrager’s husband, Ethan, made cabinets for a living. His friend had suggested that Henry talk with Ethan about the business. Henry had planned to visit Ethan the next day, but then his father’s recent heart attack had changed everything. He’d visited Dat in the hospital, where his parents had made him promise to run the store. Henry had agreed. Being a dutiful son was the least he could do for the parents who’d raised and loved him.

Unable to be or do what he wanted didn’t mean he couldn’t make the best out of a difficult situation. He’d keep the store open. And I’ll convince Leah to forgive me. He smiled as he looked forward to the challenge.