Buch lesen: «The Geese That Lay The Golden Eggs»
Mirta B. Bono
THE GEESE THAT LAY THE GOLDEN EGGS
Romance Scams that break hearts
and plunder wallets
Original title: â Galline dalle uova d â oro â
Translated by Linda Thody
Copyright© 2017 Mirta B. Bono First edition: June 2017 StreetLib Write http://write.streetlib.com English edition 21 /04/2018 Translator: Linda Thody Published by: Tektime - www.traduzionelibri.it Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TruffeRomantiche Twitter: https://twitter.com/mirta_bono e-mail: mirta.b.bono@gmail.com
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The geese that lay the golden eggs
For the women who know how to take care of themselves
and those who sooner or later will learn how to do so
Romance scams that break hearts
and plunder wallets
These are true stories. To respect the protagonistsâ privacy, in some cases their names have been changed.
The title âThe geese that lay the golden eggs' was chosen to emphasise the disdain with which scammers manipulate women's feelings to exploit them to their own advantage.
The contents of this book do not claim to be therapeutic but are intended to make women face up to a cruel reality of our times, and through the telling of stories and the dissemination of every possible means of defence, help them protect their hearts, hold on to their wallets and regain their self-esteem.
Romance Scams
Online contacts
No offence, but itâs happened to us all, poor lonely women caught out by an online message which weâve fallen for, some perhaps more than others. With our heart beating madly for that oh so handsome, charming, passionate man whoâs noticed us, fascinated by our face in a photograph; won over by our story, or by the few personal details that the more reserved of us have only hinted at on our Facebook, twitter or other social network profile.
We canât help it! Us women are romantic, and "friendlyâ to the point of absurdity. Friendly and willing to believe that finally cupid has smiled down upon us, noticed our most intimate desires for love and let fly his arrow.
It seems like a wonderful sign of fate that such a remarkable man is interested in us, a man in naval or military uniform. With an honest gaze, open smile, profound dark eyes or even light ones, it doesnât matter. When we fall in love even the colour of the eyes is changeable, it matches the ideal image we carry around inside us. Remember Proust and the colour of the little Gilberte Swannâs eyes, who he meets as a child? He describes them of such a brilliant black as to give back a bright blue light, so that if the little girl had not had such dark eyes - writes Proust - he would not have been in love most particularly with her blue eyes.
Itâs the meeting of desire and true likeness that fits our ideal image. The two pieces of a puzzle. What a coincidence! What luck, we think from that first contact with a few polite phrases from the fake American soldier. Heâs even the right age for us! Somewhere between fifty and sixty, like so many lonely separated women, or widows, or divorcees, who before this lucky meeting had tried all the Meetics, dating sites, Badoos, where nothing ever came of anything, perhaps because of our aversion to the person who said he was 25 years younger than his real age, or the irremediable faults which led to separations from exes: wives, lovers, girlfriends. When my sister-in-law once asked me why I hadnât rebuilt my life with a new companion, I told her itâs difficult finding the right person, because as we get older we become more demanding; we do not easily surrender our independence, and the men who approach us have already been left by their woman, probably because theyâre flawed.
âFlawed?â replied my sister-in-law and she began laughing out loud repeating âAh, flawed, flawed... what a description!â
But the same can be said of us too, whatâs that got to do with it? On dating sites, we too describe ourselves in our Meetic profile, posting a photo on the net that was taken a few years after our first communion. Then we go to meet the poor guy in the hope that he wonât notice that the person before him looks like the grandmother of the beautiful girl in the photograph. So, what happens in these cases? The more courteous offer a coffee and say goodbye. The others ask you straight out to your face, "Why are you hiding your age? You canât be forty! You must be at least twenty years older!â
âWell what about you? Youâre supposedly only 55?" we might reply and get a brazenly optimistic response. âIâm sixty-four, but I look young for my age!â
Faced with such vanity, what should we do? I think itâs best to just forget about it. Or, out of pure revenge, we could recommend that our friend should at least buy a mirror to furnish his home.
How many Friday night encounters end with an argument, or perhaps a bad-mannered comment from a guy who seems aristocratic enough online, but then turns out to be more accustomed to the sort of company found down at the docks, not setting sail, but loading and unloading.
But letâs not be dramatic. Is the boor of the momentâs language distasteful? Then each of you better go their separate ways. At worst we can just ban him and put the whole story to bed!
Bluffing never pays. Not even a pizza together to make friends is allowed, when you meet on misleading premises. These are the risks of social networking. Moderate risks overall, until recently anyway: a bad impression, a disappointment, a missed invitation to dinner. Nothing more serious.
Romance scams
Nothing like the new trend of online virtual meetings between romantic ladies and lowlifes who set out to deceive mature women, with the single-minded ambition of getting their hands on the little, or large as it may be, nest egg which they imagine a person close to retirement will have set aside. They know all about the leaving bonus carefully hidden away in a safety deposit box, or perhaps even at home behind a tile? They know everything about us! And these sonnavabitches are clever. They use sophisticated techniques as if they really were the gentlemen they claim to be. They pull apart all our plans to defend ourselves against the "badâ guys, as though they were little Lego bricks, because theyâre different, different to that loser of our neighbourâs ex-husband who woos us. Their (virtual) strong points are the appeal of a uniform, a distinguished profession, their status as a single man without ties, the adventure of it all, the courage involved, their financial resources. Because after all, we can all do the maths and perhaps even go online to see how much an American naval officer earns, or an Australian airman, or an English captain on ocean-going ships.
But we let our hearts rule our heads and as unsuspecting, romantic, dreamy women we donât realise that theyâre really very different to us. Theyâre not westerners but they do everything to seem as if they are. They learn how to act to turn a womanâs head. They watch lots of films, read romantic novels, and textbooks on how to conquer a woman. They pick up phrases, pleasantries, similes, which win the hearts of middle-aged women, even careful and intelligent ones. In fact, according to a statistical study, it seems the intelligence factor is always at a high level in these scammed women1. Ghanaians, Nigerians or Malaysians, no matter where theyâre from, the scammers use every tool the globalised world offers them to get to know the psychology, the dreams, the way of thinking of a western woman. Moreover, itâs by no means rare that the handsome man writing to us from the other side of the world is really another woman. Probably younger than us, but most definitely cunning and skilful. A professional organiser of Romance Scams, the sophisticated and lucrative love-affair scams.
Some stories of women scammed on the web
An example of some of the phrases copied and pasted when contacting women online:
«I miss you so much, youâre necessary for my heart and soul. Youâre my day, my night, my moon, my sun. Youâre the one and only queen of my heart. I really miss you, my days are getting sadder and sadder».
Melania
What does a still young and attractive woman from Rimini lack, to persuade her, in a delusion of love, to transfer payments for 24 thousand euros into a strangerâs account?
Melania2 is 40 years old, she lives in one of Italyâs most 'open-minded' cities, the most famous holiday resort in Europe; culturally vibrant, visited by tourists, conference participants, businessmen, artists of all kinds and ages. Does Rimini perhaps lack opportunities? I wouldnât think so. Yet Melania finds her romantic love on the web; but itâs a romance scam, a cybernetic mess that impoverishes her resources and quickly becomes a thorn in her heart that will torment her for a long time.
When Melania reads the online message from John, a soldier in the U.S. Army, she doesnât wonder how come the man in uniform has contacted precisely her. No, she thinks âThe power of Facebook! How could I ever meet a man like this if I werenât on the net?â
Melania is not naive and clueless, sheâs forty, she has a degree in biology, works for a public institution, has a former husband who she left out of boredom and incompatibility of character.
«I saw your photo - John writes to her - and for two days Iâve been waking up at night with your face before my eyes. I like what you say in your profile. I think youâre a fascinating woman. May I ask you to be friends?»
«Why not - Melania thinks - a polite manner of introducing himself in a man with good qualities is always welcome.»
The friendship begins with the exchange of messages, first daily, then hourly: morning, afternoon, evening.
«Iâm a soldier in the United States Army and Iâve been stationed in Afghanistan for many years now.» John tells her about his days, the dangers he lives through, his regrets for one day having had to divorce his wife who betrayed him (the cheat). His dreams of having a traditional family, a loving wife with whom to plan a future. A life together full of love, passion, values, respect. As well as travel and fun.
Strangely enough, John asks very little about her. He seems not to care who Melania really is, how she lives, what she believes in, what religion she practices. In this, the American is very open-minded. And, if at first Melania is a little surprised, she soon gets used to it. An outsider would have immediately understood that (the so-called) John couldn't give a damn about Melania, but she doesn't. She starts to be dazzled by his phrases and to justify his obvious indifference as open-mindedness. After all, you canât expect the narrow-mindedness of an Italian lover from an American man, a soldier who has travelled the world.
Melania, on the other hand, takes great interest in him, what he tells her, the words he writes to her:
«Darling, itâs getting harder and harder to get to sleep at night, in the darkness of my room, without you beside me, without holding you close to my heart. Without seeing your marvellous eyes half-close with the pleasure of my caresses on your soft skin, kissing you to bring you happiness and ecstasy. The happiness that only two soul mates feel when fate brings them together».
«What are you doing? Dear John, how do you spend your days? - asks Melania. - What do you want from a woman to make you happy?», and in the following message he replies: «I want a woman like you! Oh, Melania, marvellous creature, where have you been all this time? Why didnât you bring me happiness before now? Where were the scents of your skin? your body, your womb, the colours of Eden that I see in your eyes. Where was your mouth that I dream of kissing all the time? When will I be happy and satisfied? I canât wait any longer. May I call you darling? Donât tell me Iâm moving too fast! Iâve never suffered and been so happy because of a woman like this before. I suffer because youâre so far away, Iâm happy because youâre in my life now and anyway I feel you close to me. Youâre inside me. We are one!».
See how much passion John the soldier manages to convey?
Completely smitten, Melania increasingly lowers her defences and her objective judgement criteria. She cares very little now about her job, her friends, her hobbies. Johnâs messages, Johnâs promises, the prospects of a happy life together, lead her to imagine intense days filled with new things, happiness, travel to the USA to meet his family, and why not, to join him in Afghanistan.
She starts to fantasise like a teenager about to experience her first love. She plans their meeting and eliminates any obstacles to her happiness before they even appear. She could go and join him in Afghanistan, she could ask for some time off work.
The public authority where she works allows this sort of leave. She can already see herself dressed in camouflage fatigues, crossing inaccessible desert areas, in a white Land Rover. She starts to read up about it, she buys books, including âViaggio a Kabulâ [Journey to Kabul] 3, where a whole new world starts to appear before her: the snow-capped mountains of Hindukush, the cobalt blue of the sky, the ochre colour of the ancient abandoned cities along the Silk Route, and the noise, the myriad colours of Kabul. And with all of this, her fantastic soldier, John.
What can her phoney lover ask her for, at this point? Probably anything....
The facts teach us that Melania agrees to all his requests. Her involvement is so all-encompassing that not even a hint of a possible scam would awaken her from his spell. She is in the (virtual) hands of John, who asks her to pay with (real) money for the dream he has given her.
«I gave you what you wanted!» heâll tell her later, when heâs found out.
But let's see how the story continues
While she plans her trip to Kabul, he begins to devise a tour of his own around Italy. Get to know Rimini, go to the sea together; see Rome and Venice while theyâre on their honeymoon full of happiness.
Melania changes her plans for exotic excursions shifting them towards cultural explorations in the Vatican museums and romantic getaways in the narrow streets of Venice. What does it matter! America and Asia can wait, the important thing is to have her beloved John at her side!
The fact is that the American is becoming very keen to travel to Italy and live there, to start a new life in the âBel Paeseâ with his beloved Melania; to be together, love each other, be happy, and start a family. He is so involved in this perspective of life together as a couple that the next step becomes decisive: leave the American army. Resign, leave permanently.
«But are you sure? - she asks - The choice youâre making is forever. Wonât you regret it?»
Melanie is a little worried, but very flattered by the fact that a man like him would completely change all his life plans for her.
«Regret it?» says John. «Regret wanting a life with an adorable woman in a wonderful country like Italy? Iâd regret it bitterly, a thousand times over, if I didnât take this step. Straight away, now. And Iâm tired, fed up of the dry land where my military boots tread. Iâm tired of war and blood!
I want to see blue skies, Italyâs turquoise sea, your hazel eyes with specks of gold, Melania my love!».
The request for money
At this point, all of you reading this, would have woken up from the daydream if John had asked you for money, right? Melanie doesn't wake up; but letâs look at their chat exchange:
«Iâve applied for discharge. Theyâve told me theyâll accept my application but with certain conditions.»
«What conditions?»
«They want me to pay something. A sort of penalty.»
«How much?»
«The equivalent of 24 thousand euros in dollars.»
«Well, youâve got it, havenât you?»
«Iâve invested in securities in the United States, itâs money that is tied-up. I havenât got the amount they want, here.»
Melania is upset by this request. Itâs not decorous for a man to ask his woman for money. Sheâs not used to it, because although she can remember many shortcomings of her former husband, he always provided for his family.
She never lacked anything while she lived with her first husband.
A little alarm bell rings faintly in her brain, but her heart overrides the doubts that are surfacing. Because heâs also clever at brushing them aside.
«I donât know if Iâll be able to get that amount together» Melania says, already starting to regret her caution because she has some money put aside, more than the amount John needs.
«Donât do it, my darling, if itâs a problem. I feel rotten asking you to do this. Itâs not right. I have enough savings for both of us in my US accounts. Itâs the man who should always look after his woman! Forget what I said. Weâll find another solution. Iâll stay here a bit longer and weâll postpone meeting for a year until Iâm discharged.»
«A year?». Melania is appalled at the prospect of waiting another year to be able to embrace John. No, she canât wait that long. Because he writes to her assiduously, intense words full of emotion. He tells her how much he loves her, how lonely he feels laying in his bed and hugging his cold pillow; every night he dreams of kissing her and making love to her, then in the morning waking up leaves his soul empty and sad.
So, Melania gives in. She dips into her savings and transfers some money by Western Union. John collects it and disappears. The great love affair ends overnight.
John doesnât really exist. The person writing to Melania is a 23-year-old Nigerian. Heâs part of a gang of crooks who split the loot between them after each romance scam4.
When Melania contacts the police, they tell her she is the third woman from Rimini to be scammed in a few months. But thatâs small consolation to her. As soon as she can she insults the so-called John (online again) and calls him a thief and a scammer. He answers that he gave her what she was looking for and suggests she join him in Nigeria to have some âfunâ. Melania calls him an âanimalâ and ends all contact with him for ever.
No dream could finish in a worse manner. Poor Melania. Sheâs upset about the money - yes - but even more about having fallen for a scam which, with hindsight, seems so obvious to her. «I really am stupid!» she tells herself every morning as she looks in the mirror.
She began treatment because she didnât know what else to do. She closed her Facebook profile. The psychologist told her to avoid the computer and start going for long bike rides again like she used to when she was young, to enrol in a club for environmentalists, artists or whatever she liked, to leave the virtual world alone and get out and meet real people.
Luciana
When Luciana reads the friend request on Facebook, intrigued she thinks âA Frenchman? Heâs not bad actually!â
The man immediately tells her heâs a widower, like Luciana, and he makes a date to chat online with her the following evening.
Sheâs a widow, heâs a widower. Theyâre the same age, both 50 with children. This is how their daily online meetings begin. A very pleasant date for the woman who becomes fond of Vincent (this is the name the self-styled French widower gives her).
According to Lucianaâs tale their date every evening becomes pleasantly unavoidable. The messages he writes are always very polite, he sends her kisses and little hearts, and he also sends a few photos with and without his children. Luciana does the same as she falls in love like a teenager.
«It felt like I was reliving the now forgotten feelings of my youth. He used to send me words of love that Iâd never even read in books. In the end I was completely off my head, to the point that I was unable to tear myself away from my mobile or my computer»5.
