Quinn was at her shoulder. A strange noise escaped his throat. “Oh, sweetheart. Those aren’t domestic kittens. It looks like you found a pair of ocelots.”
Turning, eyes wide, Belle looked at him. “Here? But they’re endangered.”
He leaned closer. “Yeah, just a handful left in the wild, and they like to hide. The girls are right. These guys have been orphaned.”
Lucy wiggled closer. “I touched one,” she whispered.
“Easy, baby.” Belle put her hand on her youngest daughter’s shoulder. “These are wild animals.”
“But I can reach it now.” Her voice hushed as she focused on the small cats.
After taking off his long-sleeved button-up, Quinn stretched out beside her. That was a major accomplishment. The space was small, and he wasn’t. The undergrowth was cutting at his now bare arms. His cotton T-shirt didn’t provide much protection.
“Can you slowly pull the cub closer to me?”
Lucy nodded, and with her tongue out in concentration, she gently brought the furball closer to them. Everyone held their breaths.
The furball hissed as he wrapped it in his shirt. “Okay. Good job. Can you get the other one?”
She nodded and moved deeper into the thicket. After a little wiggling and slow-motion movement, she handed the second one to him.
“They’re both females,” he said, carefully studying them. “They look dehydrated and malnourished, but they’re definitely ocelots.” His eyes shimmered with excitement. “De La Rosas, you have ocelots living on your ranch. It’s amazing.”
The kids crowded around him. “Can we keep them?”
“No. We can nurture them back to health, but they’re wild animals and need to live in their natural habitat.”
Jonah reached for one of the cats.
“Careful, son. You can look at them, but we don’t want to handle them too much.”
“We found them, and they don’t have parents. We should keep them. We feed the baby goats and raise baby chickens.” Cassie’s eyes were gathering tears.
Belle took her daughter’s hand. “Sweetheart, we have no clue what wildcats need.”
“I’ll call the local game warden and report the ocelots. They’ll need to be released into the wild when they’re old enough. But we might be able to nurse them until then.”
“Daddy can do it. He’s a doctor,” one of Quinn’s girls said.
Belle’s head went from the tiny cats to his face. That was a surprise she didn’t see coming.
“Hannah.” His voice held a hint of warning. Then he glanced at Belle. “I’m not a medical doctor. I have a PhD in marine biology with a focus on coastal habitats. We can get these guys independent and back on their feet, then release them here on the ranch.” When they made eye contact this time, he held it. Like he had something to say but didn’t know how. “Belle, I’m not sure you understand the ramifications. This is a huge discovery.”
He had a PhD and she’d gotten a GED. She had a hard time looking away from him. Could he see her lack of education? Did he just accuse her of being slow?
In the distance, she heard the rumbling of a truck. “Oh.” Pulling her phone out, she dialed Elijah. “We need to call and let everyone know the kids are safe.” With a hard glare at Cassie, she listened to the rings. “Young lady, we will be talking about y’all leaving without a word. There were better ways to handle this.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Once she’d told Elijah the story, he said he’d contact everyone else.
“What’s the best way to tell Gina?” she asked. “She lost her phone. Will she answer the ranch line?”
“I just gave her a new phone.” He read out the number.
Belle could hear the tears in the poor woman’s voice as she explained the situation. Hanging up, she shook her head. Quinn had moved the kids to the path and was slowly heading to the house.
Putting an arm around her daughter, who was too stubborn for her own good, Belle lowered her voice. “Cassie, do you understand how scared she was? How horrible it was when we couldn’t find you? The first thing you will do is apologize to their grandmother.”
Quinn glanced at her, his lips in a tight line. “Hannah. Meg. After last night, this was the last thing Baba needed.”
So much for trying to keep it private. Cassie was clearly upset. “What about Lucy and Jonah? They left, too.”
“They’re little,” both parents said at the same time.
Belle looked at her youngest. “But, Lucy, you know better, too. You don’t leave the house area without an adult.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
One of the ocelots yawned and pushed a paw out of the shirt to touch Quinn’s face. He gently rubbed the kitten’s chin and said words so soft and low she couldn’t hear.
Her heart melted. No, Belle, it doesn’t matter if he is the male equivalent of Snow White. You are not interested in him.
The rest of the walk to the house was silent. Once there, Belle helped Quinn find a cozy box for the babies and helped him gather supplies to feed them.
Quinn firmly set limits on how close the kids could be to the sleeping ocelots. Now all five kids were flat on their stomachs in the living room, their chins resting on crossed arms as they watched the kittens as if they were the most interesting movie they’d ever seen.
“The kittens have to stay with us, because our daddy is the doctor.” One of the twins was already building her case for custody.
“But it’s our ranch and we’ve raised all sorts of animals.” Cassie looked over her shoulder. “Right, Mama?”
“I saw them first, so they’re ours,” Lucy argued. She wiggled closer and Jonah mirrored her action.
“Thanks.” Quinn put his phone in his pocket. The kids continued to debate shared custody, and Gina fussed over everyone, insisting she would feed them all.
“Belle.” He reached for her hand to pull her away from the kids and cats.
She studied his hand interlocked with hers. His was so large it made her look feminine. That didn’t happen often. They fit together well.
Normally she didn’t like to be touched and withdrew, but he was different. Why?
She jerked her hand back.
“Are you all right?” It was either pity or curiosity in his gaze. She couldn’t tell which.
Relaxing her shoulders and letting her arms drop, she smiled. “I don’t like being touched. I was just caught by surprise.”
“Sorry.” He nodded his head at the kids. “I wanted to get out of earshot.”
“Oh.” Heat climbed her neck up to her cheeks. She could feel it but couldn’t stop it. “What’s up?”
“I spoke to the game warden. With my certification, I can keep the kittens until they’re ready for release. Then I’ll work with a local game preserve to make sure they’re safe to return to the wild. You get to tell your girls.” He went to the archway and looked into the living room, where the kids were lined up on the floor. “They won’t be happy.”
“No. But we really don’t need another project, anyway. They’ll be fine, and it will give them an excuse to visit your kids.”
“I’d like to find a time to talk. How about dinner tomorrow night?”
“No. I don’t do dinner.”
He raised an eyebrow and looked at her as if she’d said something ridiculous.
“What? No one ever tells you no?”
Surprise etched his brow, but then he laughed. “I haven’t asked anyone to dinner in a very long time. I was confused when you said you don’t do dinner. As in, you have something against eating in the evening.”
“Oh.” Her cheeks burned again. “I eat dinner, just not with people. I mean, with men.” She groaned. “I don’t date. I want to be clear on the subject. I never go on dates.”
With a nod, Quinn went in to gather his family.
She needed to stay as far away as possible. One finger caressed the ruined skin that ran along her temple. If she had any unruly thoughts about this man, she needed to remember that there was no Prince Charming in the real world. This Cinderella had to save herself.
Baba’s soothing voice drifted from the loft. She was reading to the kids in her native language. She’d also taught them Spanish, and last month she’d introduced them to German. She’d thought it best if the children weren’t exposed to his Texas accent while they were in the developing stages. He grinned. For years she had politely tried to hide her shudder when he attempted to speak anything other than English.
His wife would be pleased. Kari had mastered seven languages and dabbled in several others.
She’d laughed at his attempts to speak Japanese, but it had been important to both of them that their children speak it.
He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, ignoring the book in his lap. As the familiar sounds washed over him, he searched for Kari’s voice in his memories.
It was coming up on five years since he’d heard her laugh. That laugh had been the first thing that had drawn his attention to her. Like a fresh spring rain after a harsh drought, the sound had rolled across the campus library. He’d lost all concentration, and, in less than ten minutes, he’d found an excuse to join her table.
That moment had changed the direction of his life. In a very good way. He had been lost after the sudden death of his parents.
Quinn focused on his breathing. In less than a week, Jonah would turn five. The day would mark the date he’d held his son for the first time. And held his wife for the last.
His eyes burned as he worked to anchor her voice to the front of his brain.
That was where he wanted it, but it was slipping farther away, becoming less tangible each year. Forgetting her would be a travesty. She deserved better from him.
Everything good in his life was due to her. He’d still be an aimless surfer with too much useless education and no purpose if it hadn’t been for her.
If only he’d been stronger and insisted she stay in the States...or he could have canceled his trip and stayed home. Someone else could have gone.
There had been options that wouldn’t have led to her death on the side of a washed-out road in the jungles of a developing country. Because of him, she had died with only him next to her as she gave birth to their son.
All she had asked of him was to love their children enough for both of them. He had been useless, promising he’d love her forever, but she had still slipped from him.
He flexed his fingers and studied his hands. Useless.
They’d been single-minded in their goals and thought themselves invincible.
As passionate as she was about their mission, it hadn’t been worth her life.
Abandoning the novel, he picked up the Bible on the side table. God, hold me. He flipped to Kari’s favorite verse, John 14:27. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
But he was afraid. He was afraid of Kari fading from his mind. His gut turned as another woman crossed his thoughts. A woman who was going to hate him when she learned why he was in town.
Slouching farther into the chair, he sighed. Tonight, prayer didn’t help. An ugly rage at God hissed and clawed at him as he pushed it down. The anger only exposed his guilt. He should have been the one to die. Sitting up, he rubbed his temples. This train of thought was not good for anyone, especially his children. He had promised to put them first, always.
Soft rustling told him that Gina was descending the small spiral stairs. He helped her alight and tried to lead her to the room where she slept.
With a shake of her head, she quietly but stubbornly went to the kitchen to make tea. Biting back a groan, he sat in his chair. He wasn’t in the mood to talk. If he were smart, he would pull out the sofa bed before she finished and pretend to be asleep, but it had become a habit for them to talk about the day before they called it a night.
“Quinn, son.” Her voice was gentle, but there was no denying the hard edge. She wanted to talk, and they would not be going to sleep until he heard what was on her mind.
With a sigh, he lifted his head and smiled at her. So polite but headstrong, just like her daughter.
“Jonah’s birthday will be here soon. Have you made any plans? He’s no longer a baby and will remember these days. Your actions or lack of them will be his childhood memories.”
How did she do it? It was also the anniversary of her only child’s death. A death that was his fault. Kari had been the better parent, partner, scientist. The better Christian. At times he wondered if God cared what happened down here at all. He tilted his head until the raw beams of the ceiling filled his view and cleared his thoughts.
They would only upset this dear woman. He didn’t warrant her loyalty or love.
Shifting to be closer to her, he smiled. “Where did the time go? I can’t believe it’s been five years.”
For a moment, there was a shine in her dark eyes.
Great. He was going to make her cry. She never cried.
The kettle whistled. Gina moved around the little kitchen and lined up her supplies. “Would you like some tea?”
“Yes, thank you.” He’d already upset her enough tonight. “Gina, I’m sorry—”
“We can’t be sad.” Her back to him, she stood on tiptoe to pull two chunky mugs from the open cabinet.
He made a mental note to replace the delicate teacups she had lost to the fire. It wasn’t much, but he could at least do that for her. She went through the process of making tea, each movement full of intent and purpose.
Handing a cup to him, she sat. “Ask Belle. She knows the area and has connections with many of the children. Maybe she can help set it up. We need to do something special for him.” She leaned forward. “I know it’s a difficult day, but it wasn’t his fault.”
“I know that.” No, Kari’s death was squarely on his shoulders alone. The man who had promised to love, honor and protect her. “I’ll talk to Belle. I’m not sure she’ll be able to help on such short notice or want to help us once I tell her we are here to stop any development along the beach.”
He needed to talk to her about several things. The welcome they’d been enjoying on the ranch might be withdrawn.
Silence lingered as they each became lost in their own thoughts. After an hour, his mother-in-law gathered the cups and washed them. With a soft “Good night,” she went to the bedroom.
He was so tired he thought about sleeping in the recliner. Checking his watch, he noted it was time to feed the baby ocelots. Then he’d check on his own babies.
The hungry ocelots quickly fell back to sleep after getting their milk.
In the loft, he found all three in one of the lower bunk beds. At least it was a double. He eyed the empty twin. Maybe he’d sleep up here with them. Hannah opened her sleepy eyes. “Jonah didn’t want to sleep alone. He misses Buck. He couldn’t decide who he wanted to sleep with. Did the babies eat?”
She was so much like her mother, always worried about everyone else. He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead, brushing her silky black hair. “Yes. They’re all tucked in.”
He slipped off his boots and lay down on the quilt that covered the empty bed. He watched as Hannah snuggled closer to Jonah. The boy was tucked in tightly between his sisters.
Quinn set his alarm but had a feeling the girls wouldn’t need him to wake them in time to feed the baby goats.
He’d thought marine biologists woke up early, but ranchers’ morning hours were ridiculously inhuman. His eyes gave in, and sleep claimed him. He dreamed of a rancher who walked with a fierceness that dared the world to mess with her or the ones she loved. Dark wild curls fanned out around her as she swung onto a horse and took off.
In some ways she was the opposite of his wife; in other ways they were too much alike.
The bumps on the dirt road went right along with his foul mood. As the goat barn came into view, the happy chatter of his children contrasted starkly with the heavy cloud in his brain.
This time of year, as spring brought new life to the world around him, he struggled with dark emotions. He tried praying, but his thoughts bounced. He didn’t want to admit it out loud, but he’d rather not talk to God.
Which only made matters worse. He needed to pull himself out of this funk before it bled over to his kids.
His hands gripped the steering wheel much tighter than necessary. How could his brain allow another woman to slip into his dreams? It was the ultimate betrayal to the woman who deserved his loyalty. He would only ever love Kari.
And now he was on his way to ask for the other woman’s help to celebrate his son’s birthday. That was what he needed to focus on. Jonah. Kari would want this day to be filled with joy for Jonah.
Gina had insisted on coming along so she could watch the kids while he spoke with Belle. He also knew that she hated sitting around with nothing to do.
He glanced at his son. Jonah deserved his birthday to be full of smiles and all the silliness of a five-year-old. Long ago Quinn had made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t let his guilt be transferred to his son, even by accident.
Before he could cut the engine, all three kids were out of their seat belts and running to the barn. He followed them. Gina walked beside him with slow, measured steps. She’d never been one to hurry.
“She might not want to help us, you know.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Just because she’s a single mom doesn’t mean she’s a party planner for every kid that comes through her town.”
“She’s a caregiver, not just a mother to her children. You can see it in the way she cares for everyone around her. Just explain. She’ll want to help. I also have faith that she will do the right thing when it comes to the land.”
His mother-in-law had always been way too optimistic. By the time he and Gina entered the barn, his three had joined Belle’s girls as if they were old pros at hand-feeding orphaned goats.
Lucy, Belle’s youngest, ran to him. “How are the babies? Did you bring them?”
“No. They’re tucked away safely in their crate. We don’t want to move them around too much.”
Cassie herded them all out to feed the chickens and Gina followed.
A tractor stood nearby, its hood open. Belle was working on it. She tossed a rag to the side, picked up a wrench and went back to work.
“You need any help?”
She stood, shaking her head as she made eye contact. Her long braid fell down the center of her back and, for a moment, he wanted to unbraid it and see what it looked like free.
“I need a new tractor, but that’s not gonna happen anytime soon. You don’t know anything about carburetors, do you?”
That brought him back to the present. He wasn’t sure he’d even recognize one. “My offer to help was more like ‘Is there someone I can call for you?’”
She laughed. “On a ranch, you take care of things yourself. There’s no calling.”
At the sound of her laughter, his skin tightened, and he leaned closer to her. He scowled at his reaction. Going to the other side of the tractor, he put distance between them. “How long have you been running this place?”
Hands on her hips, she glared at the engine. “Feels like my whole life. I left for a little bit, trying to save a marriage that wasn’t worth saving. My uncle needed me here. The boys had all left him—or he’d kicked them out, depending on who you talk to. He wasn’t doing well, so I stepped in to make sure the ranch kept running.”
“I’m still a bit confused as to who owns the ranch and how you’re all related.”
She laughed as she wiped a wrench. “So are we. Technically Xavier, Damian and their little sister, Gabby, own the majority. My mom owns some, but she’s missing. I’ve managed the ranch for several years now.”
“You had to be awful young when Cassie was born.”
She shifted to the side, looking uncomfortable. “Yeah. I was sixteen.”
Okay, that surprised him. Sixteen. “Wow.”
Her gaze dropped, but her jaw tightened. He was getting too personal. “Sorry. That wasn’t the reason I wanted to speak to you, anyway. I have something to ask you.”
Her shoulders relaxed, and she rolled her neck. With a slight curve to her lips, she looked at him. “What can I help you with?”
“Jonah is turning five this weekend. I know there’s not much time, but five is a big deal and I want him to have a good time, but I have no idea what to do. Since you’re from here, I thought you might have an idea or know kids we can invite to his birthday party. With his mother gone, I’m not good at this kind of thing, but he’s getting older and it was the day we lost her, so...” Stop talking now. “I want him to have good memories. Could you help us?”
Her brilliant eyes went soft. “Oh. Did she die giving birth?” She wrinkled her nose. “Sorry, not my business.”
“It’s okay. It was almost five years ago. We were traveling in South America. Jonah doesn’t have any memories of her. I tend to struggle with the day because we lost her, but I want him to feel special on his birthday. He’ll remember this one. I need more than just a cake and a song. I don’t know what to do. Kari, my wife, always planned the girls’ parties.” He pressed his lips together to stop talking.
Her eyes went wide, and he saw her making the connections. “Oh. I’m so sorry.” She reached forward and placed a hand on his arm. “I can help. I happen to personally know someone who owns a pirate ship that is perfect for a five-year-old’s birthday. My brother, Elijah. I can ask him. If they’re booked, they have a private party room upstairs at the Painted Dolphin. It overlooks the Gulf. If not, we can do something here on the ranch. We have a long strip of beach and horses. We can make sure he has the best memories for his birthday.”
“A pirate ship? Wow.” He chuckled. “That sounds like something Kari would have loved. My kids, too. They love reading adventure stories and have scary crazy imaginations. Gina told me you’d have the connections.” He leaned closer and whispered, “Once again, she was right. Let’s not tell her, okay?”
“I wondered why your mother-in-law was staying with you. She must be a great help.”
“Kari was an only child, so Gina has been with us ever since Jonah was born.”
He stopped. She’d been with Kari when the girls were born. Had traveled with them most of the time. But not that trip. Did she feel as guilty as he did? He shook his head. He’d have to talk to her later. “I don’t know what I would have done without her. All the traveling for my job can make it necessary to have a full-time caregiver.”
“Being a single parent makes any job even harder.” She tossed another tool back into the box.
“You seem to have good family support. Does your ex help with the kids, too?” He wanted to pull the question back as he was asking it. It was too personal.
“No. He moved out of state. There were issues, but he never was involved with the girls, even when we were married. The ranch is hard work but is a great place for my girls. The only home we’ve even known. We all want a place we’re connected to. I wanted this to be a safe harbor for my family. Xavier, Damian and Elijah have each had their issues and Frank had chased them away. They needed a place to heal.”
The happy voices of their children stopped the questions he wanted to ask. Elijah approached, following the small herd of little people. They were telling him about the ocelot kittens.
This was a good interruption. They were getting more personal than Quinn was comfortable with. He wanted to dig for more information about her, not just about the ranch. Not good.
The woman standing in front of him intrigued him in ways he didn’t like.
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