Buch lesen: «Shielded By The Lawman»

Chapter 1

Another day, another death. A continual supply of senseless carnage. Solutions buried deeper than the corpses fallen by their own hands.

Jamie Donovan squeezed his eyes shut and took several gulps of dank air to slow the pulse pounding like hi-hat cymbals in his ears. He would give anything for the pummeling inside his head to let up, even if the deluge pelting his hoodie refused. But he couldn’t keep pacing in the frigid early April rain outside Casey’s Diner like a despondent person. Did he want someone to call the police on him?

So, he yanked open the door and ground his molars as the wind caught it and clanged those obnoxious bells against the glass. He stomped inside and wrestled the door closed. Rain dripped off his coat and puddled on the mat. As if to punctuate his misery, water trickled from his hood to his nose. He brushed it away with a soggy sleeve.

Why had he agreed to come at all? The answer to that was clear, even before nearly a dozen expectant faces turned to him from the line of tables on the far wall. If he hadn’t at least made an appearance at the diner tonight, his fellow Michigan State Police troopers would have known he was not okay after the events that occurred during his shift. And they’d have had proof that he’d lied when he said he was. How was he was supposed to fake normalcy when the usually delicious scents of frying bacon, cinnamon and fresh-baked somethings were rolling his insides like six-foot swells trapping a boat on Lake Michigan?

“Whoa there, Hercules!” Sergeant Vincent Leonetti called out.

The others laughed the way they usually did at Vinnie’s jokes, but the sound fell flat. Everyone was trying too hard. They all thought he was just sensitive to the type of case he’d investigated tonight. Weak-stomached even. If they only knew. But because they seemed to need him to pretend, Jamie pushed back his hood and started toward the table.

Suicide attempt. Why did they call them attempts? Like a gymnast trying out an amazing, double-twist dismount. That guy’s effort wasn’t an attempt, anyway. It was a frigging success, with blood spatter like a Jackson Pollock painting on the living room wall to prove it.

Jamie had been too late. Again.

Though his face felt hot, a chill edged up his spine and gooseflesh peppered his skin beneath his sleeves. Bile that he’d forced back earlier crawled from his stomach again, lukewarm and bitter. He had to get control. As he turned his head to the side, he hoped to avoid eye contact with any of the officers who knew him too well and yet not at all.

Her gaze snagged his instead.

Jamie could only stare back at her. Somehow, he managed to prevent his mouth from falling open, but keeping his feet moving toward that table was damn near impossible. Sarah. The petite, ethereal beauty who’d never once looked back at any of the Brighton Post troopers when they’d tested their best lines on her. Whose last name no one knew and whose first name they probably still wouldn’t know after two years if it wasn’t emblazoned on her waitress badge and she didn’t have to scribble it on their bills each time she waited on them.

That Sarah was watching him.

Stranger still, her haunting, pale blue eyes were piercing him deeper than an RIP bullet at close range. As if she could see everything he was trying to hide from his coworkers. Everything he wished he could forget.

And then it was over. She looked away and tucked those wavy, dark blond tendrils that fell loose from her ponytail behind her ears. That was one of her nervous habits he’d observed. Twisting her gold locket was another. They were things she did when she thought no one was watching. Now she smoothed her apron and grabbed a tub to bus a vacated table.

Jamie blinked several times. Had he imagined their moment of connection? Wow, his mind had really gone off-road this time. His lips lifted as he reached his coworkers, hung his sweatshirt over the back of the lone empty chair and dropped into it.

That he could smile at all after everything that had happened tonight was as surprising as his reaction to poor Sarah’s simple glance. Of course, she’d looked at him. This was her table. She’d taken note of him only so that she could drop by an extra water glass and more wrapped silverware.

Anyway, just because he’d secretly watched her for months didn’t mean she’d paid any attention to him. And he’d watched her, all right. As closely as a witness expected to give expert testimony. What did it say about him that he could describe her impossibly pale skin and dancer-like movements and could almost feel the silk of wavy hair he’d never touched?

He rubbed the damp sleeves of his Henley shirt as much to settle himself as to relieve the chill. He should have known better than to go out in public tonight.

“Did you drive here or swim?” Vinnie asked.

“Both. Did you see how it was coming down out there?”

Kelly Roberts watched him closely. “It wasn’t raining yet when we came in.”

A few of the others murmured their agreement. He was later than the rest of them, but it wasn’t because he’d let tonight’s events get to him. That would mean he’d allowed his past to seep into the present again, its persistent spread threatening to smother his plan to help at-risk youth.

“We already ordered, but we can call Sarah over if you’re ready.” At the other end of the table, pretty boy Nick Sanchez waggled an eyebrow.

“Oh, he’s ready,” Vinnie said, managing to draw a stilted laugh from the others.

“And who knows? Maybe the earth will shift, and Sarah will be primed like an Indy car engine, too,” Dion Carson quipped.

Jamie pressed his lips together. He hated the way the guys talked about women when they were off work. About Sarah in particular. No matter how many times he’d called them on it, they never stopped.

“If she is primed, you know she’ll be coming right over to me,” Nick added.

The women and even the men frowned at Nick and then shrugged. Now that the post’s resident Adonis, Shane Warner, was married, Nick had the best shot with any woman. Female drivers gawked at him, even when he was issuing traffic citations.

“That’s enough, guys. She’s a person,” Jamie ground out. “Leave her alone.”

Chuckles spread around the table. Had they been baiting him to see if he would react as he normally did? Well, he’d passed that test. Yes, he was Jamie, defender of women and hero to lost kittens. A nice guy, and everyone knew where they finished.

“You guys are lucky she’s still willing to serve at our table at all,” he groused. “And you’re lucky I don’t recommend all of you for another round of sexual harassment training.”

“Please, not that. We can be good.” Dion lifted his right hand to back up his promise. “Anyway, we’re not that bad.”

“And we pay great tips,” Kelly supplied.

Jamie nodded. Sarah probably needed that tip money, too. Working the night shift at a diner in Brighton, a southeast Michigan city of less than eight thousand, didn’t shout financially secure.

The image of her eyes stole into his thoughts again, huge orbs of liquid sky, so striking and yet so...guarded. Were there secrets behind them? Or just regrets, like his?

“Anyway, won’t you guys ever give up on her?” Delia Morgan Peterson called from the head of the table. “She doesn’t want anything to do with any of you.”

“And give up a challenge like that? Never!” Vinnie shoved his fist into the air.

Lieutenant Ben Peterson rested his hand on Delia’s slightly rounded tummy. “If the alien here turns out to be a girl, we’ll have to protect her from guys like you.”

Kelly handed Jamie a menu. “Now would you guys let him order? We’ll be paying our bills before his food comes.”

Jamie made a show of studying the photos of omelets and pancakes and the extensive burger collection, though he could recite the list from memory. Anything he ate would sit in his stomach like a hunk of granite, but the sooner he shoved it down, the sooner he could go home and wrestle in private with the memories tonight’s events had unearthed.

“What will it be?” Dion asked.

Jamie turned to find Sarah standing right behind him, the starched white apron of her pink cliché uniform nearly brushing his chair. She shot a quick glance toward the front door, as she often did, and then set a cup and saucer to his right.

“Decaf?” she asked, already tipping the carafe.

“Never know. He might be in the mood for orange soda tonight,” Vinnie quipped.

“Oh.” She stopped mid pour and cleared her throat. “Sorry.”

“Don’t pay attention to him. Decaf’s fine.” In fact, decaf was the only choice for his insomnia.

“You guys.” She tipped the carafe again. “You ready to order?”

“Oh. Right.” He chose the same hamburger he ordered at least once a week.

She jotted down the information on the pad inside her black binder, and then she disappeared into the kitchen behind the swinging door.

Suddenly, Jamie wished Sarah, or any of them, had seen through his act as he’d pretended that that nothing was out of the ordinary tonight. It didn’t seem right that a human life could have been snuffed out a few hours before and their days would just rumble forward as if nothing had happened. Just another Western burger, medium-well. Another round of coffee refills and jokes they’d all heard before. As if that life had never mattered at all.

“What did you think about that rain?” Trevor Cole asked from the seat to his left.

Jamie rested his forearms on the table edge. “A little early for swimming.”

“Right about that,” Trevor said. “Lucky it wasn’t snowing like it did last week. It’s going to be a while before I take my boat out on Kent Lake.”

“At least you’ve got a boat.”

“As much work as old Esmerelda is, I think she’s got me rather than the other way around.” But then Trevor leaned close and spoke to Jamie in a low, stiff voice. “You doing okay? Because if you need someone to talk—”

“I’m good,” Jamie whispered. A white lie wasn’t so bad when they both needed for him to say it.

Vinnie reached over to poke Trevor’s shoulder. “You mean Esmerelda’s still floating?”

Jamie tried to settle back in his chair. At least they were talking about inane things like Trevor’s boat and the big-top theme for Ben and Delia’s nursery. The regular stuff of life instead of the tragic consequences of unfortunate decisions and mental distress that played equal roles in their working lives.

“There’s some speedy service for you,” Vinnie said, as Sarah returned to the table, carrying a tray laden with plates.

“Hope you know we won’t be waiting for you to eat.” Nick stuffed a French fry in his mouth.

“No. Go ahead. Eat while it’s hot.”

Vinnie took a big bite of his hamburger and then spoke with a full mouth. “You don’t have to tell me twice.”

Jamie laced his fingers together and rested his wrists on the table. At least no one was watching him now. He’d only assumed that the others would make a big deal out of his investigation tonight. Most of them didn’t even know about Mark’s suicide. Didn’t know about the guilt Jamie carried over the things a big brother should have noticed but hadn’t.

No, he couldn’t think about that. Not when his senses were still filled with the pungent scents of a discharged weapon and blood, and the dark images of a crime scene. Not when he needed his coworkers to see that he could shake this off. Needed to believe it himself.

Sarah appeared again, with Ted, one of the owners, trailing behind her. Both carried trays full of food. The other officers ate their meals, their conversations ending or limited to those seated closest to them.

In the cacophony of plates scratching, silverware clinking and ice cubes tinkling, Jamie let his thoughts slip back to that night’s grisly discovery. Then further. Even nine years later, he couldn’t think of his funny, smiling brother without seeing Mark’s lifeless body dangling in the garage.

Regret, the kind that only someone who has known true loss could understand, covered him, filling every crevice with emptiness, hopelessness and damnation. He’d tried to stop reliving the day of Mark’s death, but that night’s events had cued up the scene again.

“I got this out here as soon as I could.”

The soft, feminine voice from behind him startled him from his daze.

Sarah held another tray and indicated the other diners with a shift of her head. “They’re nearly finished.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it.”

He wished he had something clever to say, but as usual, he came up empty. Dion beat him to it.

“I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m ready for dessert,” Dion announced. “What kind of pies have you been baking today, Miss Sarah?”

“A bit of chocolate heaven or blueberry rapture?” Vinnie suggested hopefully.

Jamie didn’t need to look over his shoulder to know that Sarah’s face would be as pink as her uniform. She seemed so uncomfortable whenever anyone mentioned her baking. He wished Ted hadn’t let them in on the secret that she was responsible for all the new pies, cakes and breads on the menu.

She cleared her throat. “We have eclair cake with chocolate ganache and just one piece left of the lemon cake with whipped frosting and—”

“Stop right there,” Nick interrupted. “Sold. Both.”

She bent her head to jot a note. “And for pies, we have apple amaretto, strawberry rhubarb and lemon meringue.”

Several of Jamie’s colleagues placed orders, and a few declined in defense of their waistlines. When she reached him, he shook his head. “I shouldn’t.”

“No, you should,” Trevor said. “Give him his favorite. The apple. On my ticket.”

Jamie didn’t bother arguing. It would be too obvious if he turned down free pie. Even if his slice was Trevor’s second clumsy attempt to comfort him.

“Sorry. I owed him,” Trevor said, as Sarah returned to the kitchen. “And no, I don’t owe any of the rest of you anything.”

When the waitress rested the dessert plate next to his barely touched burger, Jamie could only stare. Whoever had cut the pies must have flunked division in math because that slice made all the other pieces look like slivers. Had Sarah picked up on Trevor’s pity-pie ploy and decided to stuff Jamie in sympathy? He glanced right and left, but the others were too busy inhaling their own desserts to notice his.

From the first bite, Jamie nearly forgot about his awful day and his shaky stomach. He closed his eyes and savored the sweet almond-liquor flavor that counterbalanced the tart apples. The flaky crust melted on his tongue.

“Worth the five extra miles we’re going to have to run, isn’t it?” Trevor said.

“Oh yeah.”

Jamie pushed the burger aside and finished all but the crumbs of the pie. By then, Sarah had returned.

“Great, as always,” Trevor told her as she cleared away their plates.

“Yeah, great,” Jamie echoed.

“Thanks.”

Her voice was soft, but the corners of her mouth lifted.

When she moved to the cash register to print out their bills, Jamie couldn’t help watching her again. She was as oblivious to him as she was to her own beauty. To her effortless allure that always had him catching his breath in her presence. If he believed that the earlier moment between them had been anything more than a product of his imagination, he was smoking stuff stronger than the K2, or synthetic marijuana, he arrested suspects for.

His friends were already pulling on their jackets when Sarah returned to drop off their bills. Jamie glanced down at his. He hoped the pie would be on his ticket instead of Trevor’s, but only the burger and the coffee were listed.

Farther down the page, her signature was the same—that loopy, feminine cursive that contradicted Sarah’s guarded demeanor. But then his fingers brushed a second slip of paper beneath the bill. The azure color of a sticky note was visible through the filmy ticket.

Though she’d probably stuck it there by accident, her grocery list attached where it didn’t belong, Jamie straightened in his seat. What if it was something else, like a call for help? Why would she reach out only to him in a room full of cops? He blew out a breath. He really was losing it tonight if he was coming up with damsel-in-distress theories.

Still, he made sure no one else was watching before he flipped over the bill.

Thanks for everything you do. You’re one of the good ones.

He read the words twice. People didn’t say things like that to cops. Now profanity-laced rants, topped with middle-finger salutes, those messages were more familiar. He studied the note again. No name. And the letters were block-printed. It wasn’t even addressed to him. Or any officer.

So how pitiful was it for a twenty-seven-year-old man to tuck that folded square of paper in his jeans pocket, as if it was a secret note from study hall? Jamie decided not to answer that question as he shrugged into his sweatshirt. At the cash register, Sarah accepted Vinnie’s money and impaled his receipt on that tiny spike as if nothing had happened. Maybe nothing had, though this time the note in Jamie’s pocket made him wonder.

Sarah caught him watching, and she didn’t look away immediately. He couldn’t have if he’d tried. His pulse pounded so loud in his ears that everyone in the restaurant had to hear it. His palms were as damp as his sweatshirt. With a shy smile, she turned away.

Jamie couldn’t stop blinking. He dug in his pockets for his car keys.

The connection had been as short as the one when he’d first arrived. Shorter. Had it not happened twice, it wouldn’t have seemed significant. But now he was certain of a few things. For one, it was possible for every nerve ending in a person’s body to become instantly alert. The other was that the note folded in his pocket really had been intended for him.

What those things meant was less clear. Could she have overheard the other troopers talking about him before he’d arrived? Could all of this be about pity, after all?

But when he started toward the cash register, Sarah was gone. Ted had replaced her and was checking out the last few troopers. Jamie slowed. Sarah wasn’t clearing tables or filling salt shakers, either. Where had she gone? The answer to that and his other questions lay beyond the swinging door that separated the restaurant’s dining room from its kitchen.

He couldn’t burst into the back, locate her and insist that she explain herself, but he couldn’t let her raise these questions and vanish, either.

“Officer, ready to check out?”

Ted waved him over to the counter. Jamie opened his wallet and pulled out his debit card.

Two minutes later, he pulled up his hood and headed outside. The jangling bells jarred him, reviving those same memories that had chased him into the diner earlier. Had he conjured this whole mystery to escape thoughts about the suicide investigation? Had he clung to the distraction because it might at least offer some answers when the other matter remained a black hole of question marks? Either way, he had to know.

He glanced one last time toward the kitchen as the door whooshed closed. Sarah might not be around to answer his questions tonight, but he was about to become Casey’s best customer until she did.