A Treatise on Domestic Economy; For the Use of Young Ladies at Home and at School

In regard to the great deficiencies of domestics, in qualifications for their duties, much patience and benevolence are required. Multitudes have never been taught to do their work properly; and, in such cases, how unreasonable it would be to expect it of them! Most persons, of this class, depend, for their knowledge in domestic affairs, not on their parents, who are usually unqualified to instruct them, but on their employers; and if they live in a family where nothing is done neatly and properly, they have no chance to learn how to perform their duties well. When a lady finds that she must employ a domestic who is ignorant, awkward, and careless, her first effort should be, to make all proper allowance for past want of instruction, and the next, to remedy the evil, by kind and patient teaching. In doing this, it should ever be borne in mind, that nothing is more difficult, than to change old habits, and to learn to be thoughtful and considerate. And a woman must make up her mind to tell the same thing "over and over again," and yet not lose her patience. It will often save much vexation, if, on the arrival of a new domestic, the mistress of the family, or a daughter, will, for two or three days, go round with the novice, and show the exact manner in which it is expected the work will be done. And this, also, it may be well to specify in the agreement, as some domestics would otherwise resent such a supervision.

But it is often remarked, that, after a woman has taken all this pains to instruct a domestic, and make her a good one, some other person will offer higher wages, and she will leave. This, doubtless, is a sore trial; but, if such efforts were made in the true spirit of benevolence, the lady will still have her reward, in the consciousness that she has contributed to the welfare of society, by making one more good domestic, and one more comfortable family where that domestic is employed; and if the latter becomes the mother of a family, a whole circle of children will share in the benefit.

There is one great mistake, not unfrequently made, in the management both of domestics and of children; and that is, in supposing that the way to cure defects, is by finding fault as each failing occurs. But, instead of this being true, in many cases the directly opposite course is the best; while, in all instances, much good judgement is required, in order to decide when to notice faults, and when to let them pass unnoticed. There are some minds, very sensitive, easily discouraged, and infirm of purpose. Such persons, when they have formed habits of negligence, haste, and awkwardness, often need expressions of sympathy and encouragement, rather than reproof. They have usually been found fault with, so much, that they have become either hardened or desponding; and it is often the case, that a few words of commendation will awaken fresh efforts and renewed hope. In almost every case, words of kindness, confidence, and encouragement, should be mingled with the needful admonitions or reproof.

It is a good rule, in reference to this point, to forewarn, instead of finding fault. Thus, when a thing has been done wrong, let it pass unnoticed, till it is to be done again; and then, a simple request, to have it done in the right way, will secure quite as much, and probably more, willing effort, than a reproof administered for neglect. Some persons seem to take it for granted, that young and inexperienced minds are bound to have all the forethought and discretion of mature persons; and freely express wonder and disgust, when mishaps occur for want of these traits. But it would be far better to save from mistake or forgetfulness, by previous caution and care on the part of those who have gained experience and forethought; and thus many occasions of complaint and ill-humor will be avoided.

Those, who fill the places of heads of families, are not very apt to think how painful it is, to be chided for neglect of duty, or for faults of character. If they would sometimes imagine themselves in the place of those whom they control, with some person daily administering reproof to them, in the same tone and style as they employ to those who are under them, it might serve as a useful check to their chidings. It is often the case, that persons, who are most strict and exacting, and least able to make allowances and receive palliations, are themselves peculiarly sensitive to any thing which implies that they are in fault. By such, the spirit implied in the Divine petition, "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us," needs especially to be cherished.

One other consideration, is very important. There is no duty, more binding on Christians, than that of patience and meekness under provocations and disappointment. Now, the tendency of every sensitive mind, when thwarted in its wishes, is, to complain and find fault, and that often in tones of fretfulness or anger. But there are few domestics, who have not heard enough of the Bible, to know that angry or fretful fault-finding, from the mistress of a family, when her work is not done to suit her, is not in agreement with the precepts of Christ. They notice and feel the inconsistency; and every woman, when she gives way to feelings of anger and impatience, at the faults of those around her, lowers herself in their respect, while her own conscience, unless very much blinded, cannot but suffer a wound.

There are some women, who, in the main, are amiable, who seem impressed with the idea, that it is their office and duty to find fault with their domestics, whenever any thing is not exactly right, and follow their fancied calling without the least appearance of tenderness or sympathy, as if the objects of their discipline were stocks or stones. The writer once heard a domestic, describing her situation in a family which she had left, make this remark of her past employer: "She was a very good housekeeper, allowed good wages, and gave us many privileges and presents; but if we ever did any thing wrong, she always talked to us just as if she thought we had no feelings, and I never was so unhappy in my life, as while living with her." And this was said of a kind-hearted and conscientious woman, by a very reasonable and amiable domestic.

Every woman, who has the care of domestics, should cultivate a habit of regarding them with that sympathy and forbearance, which she would wish for herself or her daughters, if deprived of parents, fortune, and home. The fewer advantages they have enjoyed, and the greater difficulties of temper or of habit they have to contend with, the more claims they have on compassionate forbearance. They ought ever to be looked upon, not as the mere ministers to our comfort and convenience, but as the humbler and more neglected children of our Heavenly Father, whom He has sent to claim our sympathy and aid.¹⁴

CHAPTER XIX.
ON THE CARE OF INFANTS

Every young lady ought to learn how to take proper care of an infant; for, even if she is never to become the responsible guardian of a nursery, she will often be in situations where she can render benevolent aid to others, in this most fatiguing and anxious duty.

The writer has known instances, in which young ladies, who, having been trained, by their mothers, properly to perform this duty, were, in some cases, the means of saving the lives of infants, and in others, of relieving, by their benevolent aid, sick mothers, from intolerable care and anguish.

On this point, Dr. Combe remarks, "All women are not destined, in the course of Nature, to become mothers; but how very small is the number of those, who are unconnected, by family ties, friendship, or sympathy, with the children of others! How very few are there, who, at some time or other of their lives, would not find their usefulness and happiness increased, by the possession of a kind of knowledge, intimately allied to their best feelings and affections! And how important is it, to the mother herself, that her efforts should be seconded by intelligent, instead of ignorant, assistants!"

In order to be prepared for such benevolent ministries, every young lady should improve the opportunity, whenever it is afforded her, for learning how to wash, dress, and tend, a young infant; and whenever she meets with such a work as Dr. Combe's, on the management of infants, she ought to read it, and remember its contents.

It was the design of the author, to fill this chapter chiefly with extracts from various medical writers, giving some of the most important directions on this subject; but finding these extracts too prolix for a work of this kind, she has condensed them into a shorter compass. Some are quoted verbatim, and some are abridged, chiefly from the writings of Doctors Combe, Bell, and Eberle, who are among the most approved writers on this subject.

"Nearly one half of the deaths, occurring during the first two years of existence, are ascribable to mismanagement, and to errors in diet. At birth, the stomach is feeble, and as yet unaccustomed to food; its cravings are consequently easily satisfied, and frequently renewed." "At that early age, there ought to be no fixed time for giving nourishment. The stomach cannot be thus satisfied." "The active call of the infant, is a sign, which needs never be mistaken."

But care must be taken to determine between the crying of pain or uneasiness, and the call for food; and the practice of giving an infant food, to stop its cries, is often the means of increasing its sufferings. After a child has satisfied its hunger, from two to four hours should intervene, before another supply is given.

"At birth, the stomach and bowels, never having been used, contain a quantity of mucous secretion, which requires to be removed. To effect this, Nature has rendered the first portions of the mother's milk purposely watery and laxative. Nurses, however, distrusting Nature, often hasten to administer some active purgative; and the consequence often is, irritation in the stomach and bowels, not easily subdued." It is only where the child is deprived of its mother's milk, as the first food, that some gentle laxative should be given.

"It is a common mistake, to suppose, that, because a woman is nursing, she ought to live very fully, and to add an allowance of wine, porter, or other fermented liquor, to her usual diet. The only result of this plan, is, to cause an unnatural fulness in the system, which places the nurse on the brink of disease, and retards, rather than increases, the food of the infant. More will be gained by the observance of the ordinary laws of health, than by any foolish deviation, founded on ignorance."

There is no point, on which medical men so emphatically lift the voice of warning, as in reference to administering medicines to infants. It is so difficult to discover what is the matter with an infant, its frame is so delicate and so susceptible, and slight causes have such a powerful influence, that it requires the utmost skill and judgement to ascertain what would be proper medicines, and the proper quantity to be given.

Says Dr. Combe, "That there are cases, in which active means must be promptly used, to save the child, is perfectly true. But it is not less certain, that these are cases, of which no mother or nurse ought to attempt the treatment. As a general rule, where the child is well managed, medicine, of any kind, is very rarely required; and if disease were more generally regarded in its true light, not as something thrust into the system, which requires to be expelled by force, but as an aberration from a natural mode of action, produced by some external cause, we should be in less haste to attack it by medicine, and more watchful in its prevention. Accordingly, where a constant demand for medicine exists in a nursery, the mother may rest assured, that there is something essentially wrong in the treatment of her children.

"Much havoc is made among infants, by the abuse of calomel and other medicines, which procure momentary relief, but end by producing incurable disease; and it has often excited my astonishment, to see how recklessly remedies of this kind are had recourse to, on the most trifling occasions, by mothers and nurses, who would be horrified, if they knew the nature of the power they are wielding, and the extent of injury they are inflicting."

Instead, then, of depending on medicine, for the preservation of the health and life of an infant, the following precautions and preventives should be adopted.

Take particular care of the food of an infant. If it is nourished by the mother, her own diet should be simple, nourishing, and temperate. If the child be brought up by hand, the milk of a new-milch cow, mixed with one third water, and sweetened a little with white sugar, should be the only food given, until the teeth come. This is more suitable, than any preparations of flour or arrow-root, the nourishment of which is too highly concentrated. Never give a child bread, cake, or meat, before the teeth appear. If the food appear to distress the child, after eating, first ascertain if the milk be really from a new-milch cow, as it may otherwise be too old. Learn, also, whether the cow lives on proper food. Cows that are fed on still-slops, as is often the case in cities, furnish milk which is very unhealthful.

Be sure and keep a good supply of pure and fresh air, in the nursery. On this point, Dr. Bell remarks, respecting rooms constructed without fireplaces, and without doors or windows to let in pure air, from without, "The sufferings of children of feeble constitutions, are increased, beyond measure, by such lodgings as these. An action, brought by the Commonwealth, ought to lie against those persons, who build houses for sale or rent, in which rooms are so constructed as not to allow of free ventilation; and a writ of lunacy taken out against those, who, with the common-sense experience which all have on this head, should spend any portion of their time, still more, should sleep, in rooms thus nearly air-tight."

After it is a month or two old, take an infant out to walk, or ride, in a little wagon, every fair and warm day; but be very careful that its feet, and every part of its body, are kept warm: and be sure that its eyes are well protected from the light. Weak eyes, and sometimes blindness, are caused by neglecting this precaution. Keep the head of an infant cool, never allowing too warm bonnets, nor permitting it to sink into soft pillows, when asleep. Keeping an infant's head too warm, very much increases nervous irritability; and this is the reason why medical men forbid the use of caps for infants. But the head of an infant should, especially while sleeping, be protected from draughts of air, and from getting cold.

Be very careful of the skin of an infant, as nothing tends so effectually to prevent disease. For this end, it should be washed all over, every morning, and then gentle friction should be applied, with the hand, to the back, stomach, bowels, and limbs. The head should be thoroughly washed, every day, and then brushed with a soft hair-brush, or combed with a fine comb. If, by neglect, dirt accumulates under the hair, apply, with the finger, the yolk of an egg, and then the fine comb will remove it all, without any trouble.

Dress the infant, so that it will be always warm, but not so as to cause perspiration. Be sure and keep its feet always warm; and, for this end, often warm them at a fire, and use long dresses. Keep the neck and arms covered. For this purpose, wrappers, open in front, made high in the neck, with long sleeves, to put on over the frock, are now very fashionable.

It is better for both mother and child, that it should not sleep on the mother's arm, at night, unless the weather be extremely cold. This practice keeps the child too warm, and leads it to seek food too frequently. A child should ordinarily take nourishment but twice in the night. A crib beside the mother, with a plenty of warm and light covering, is best for the child; but the mother must be sure that it is always kept warm. Never cover a child's head, so that it will inhale the air of its own lungs. In very warm weather, especially in cities, great pains should be taken, to find fresh and cool air, by rides and sailing. Walks in a public square, in the cool of the morning, and frequent excursions in ferry or steam-boats, would often save a long bill for medical attendance. In hot nights, the windows should be kept open, and the infant laid on a mattress, or on folded blankets. A bit of straw matting, laid over a featherbed, and covered with the under sheet, makes a very cool bed for an infant.

Cool bathing, in hot weather, is very useful; but the water should be very little cooler than the skin of the child. When the constitution is delicate, the water should be slightly warmed. Simply sponging the body, freely, in a tub, answers the same purpose as a regular bath. In very warm weather, this should be done two or three times a day, always waiting two or three hours after food has been given.

"When the stomach is peculiarly irritable, (from teething,) it is of paramount necessity to withhold all the nostrums which have been so falsely lauded as 'sovereign cures for cholera infantum.' The true restoratives, to a child threatened with disease, are, cool air, cool bathing, and cool drinks of simple water, in addition to proper food, at stated intervals." Do not take the advice of mothers, who tell of this, that, and the other thing, which have proved excellent remedies in their experience. Children have different constitutions, and there are multitudes of different causes for their sickness; and what might cure one child, might kill another, which appeared to have the same complaint. A mother should go on the general rule, of giving an infant very little medicine, and then only by the direction of a discreet and experienced physician. And there are cases, when, according to the views of the most distinguished and competent practitioners, physicians themselves are much too free in using medicines, instead of adopting preventive measures.

Do not allow a child to form such habits, that it will not be quiet, unless tended and amused. A healthy child should be accustomed to lie or sit in its cradle, much of the time; but it should occasionally be taken up, and tossed, or carried about, for exercise and amusement. An infant should be encouraged to creep, as an exercise very strengthening and useful. If the mother fears the soiling of its nice dresses, she can keep a long slip or apron, which will entirely cover the dress, and can be removed, when the child is taken in the arms. A child should not be allowed, when quite young, to bear its weight on its feet, very long at a time, as this tends to weaken and distort the limbs.

Many mothers, with a little painstaking, succeed in putting their infants, while awake, into their cradle, at regular hours, for sleep, and induce regularity in other habits, which saves much trouble. In doing this, a child may cry, at first, a great deal; but for a healthy child, this use of the lungs does no harm, and tends rather to strengthen, than to injure, them. A child who is trained to lie or sit, and amuse itself, is happier than one who is carried and tended a great deal, and thus rendered restless and uneasy when not so indulged.

CHAPTER XX.
ON THE MANAGEMENT OF YOUNG CHILDREN

In regard to the physical education of children, Dr. Clarke, Physician in Ordinary to the Queen of England, expresses views, on one point, in which most physicians would coincide. He says, "There is no greater error in the management of children, than that of giving them animal diet very early. By persevering in the use of an overstimulating diet, the digestive organs become irritated, and the various secretions, immediately connected with, and necessary to, digestion, are diminished, especially the biliary secretion. Children, so fed, become very liable to attacks of fever, and of inflammation, affecting, particularly, the mucous membranes; and measles, and the other diseases incident to childhood, are generally severe in their attack."

There are some popular notions on the subject of the use of animal food, which need to be corrected.

One mistake, is, in supposing that the formation of the human teeth and stomach indicate that man was designed to feed on flesh. Linnæus says, that the organization of man, when compared with other animals, shows, that "fruits and esculent vegetables constitute his most suitable food." Baron Cuvier, the highest authority on comparative anatomy, says, "the natural food of man, judging from his structure, appears to consist of fruits, roots, and other succulent parts of vegetables."

Another common mistake, is, that the stimulus of animal food is necessary for the full developement of the physical and intellectual powers. This notion is disproved by facts. The inhabitants of Lapland and Kamtschatka, who live altogether on animal food, are among the smallest, weakest, and most timid, of races. But the Scotch Highlanders, who, in a very cold climate, live almost exclusively on milk and vegetable diet, are among the bravest, largest, and most athletic, of men. The South-Sea Islanders, who live almost exclusively on fruits and vegetables, are said to be altogether superior to English sailors, in strength and agility. An intelligent gentleman, who spent many months in Siberia, testifies, that no exiles endure the climate better than those, who have all their lives been accustomed to a vegetable diet. The stoutest and largest tribes in Africa, live solely on vegetable diet, and the bright, intelligent, and active Arabs, live entirely on milk and vegetables.

The popular notion is, that animal food is more nourishing than vegetable; but on this point, scientific men hold different opinions. Experiments, repeatedly made by some chemists, seem to prove the contrary. Tables have been prepared, showing the amount of nutriment in each kind of food, by which it would appear, that, while beef contains thirty-five per cent. of nutritious matter, wheat-bread and rice contain from eighty to ninety-five per cent. The supposed mistake is attributed to the fact, that, on account of the stimulating nature of animal food, it digests easier and more quickly than vegetables. Many physicians, however, among them, Dr. Combe,¹⁵ are of opinion, that animal food "contains a greater quantity of nutriment in a given bulk, than either herbaceous or farinaceous food." In some diseases, too, meat is better for the stomach than vegetables.

The largest proportion of those, who have been remarkable for having lived to the greatest age, were persons, whose diet was almost exclusively vegetables; and it is a well-known fact, that the pulse of a hardy and robust man, who lives on simple vegetable diet, is from ten to twenty beats less in a minute, than that of men who live on a mixed diet.

In regard to the intellect, Dr. Franklin asserted, from experience, that an exclusively vegetable diet "promotes clearness of ideas and quickness of perception; and is to be preferred, by all who labor with the mind." The mightiest efforts of Sir Isaac Newton, were performed, while nourished only by bread and water. Many other men, distinguished by intellectual vigor, give similar testimony. These facts show that animal food is not needful, to secure the perfect developement of mind or body.¹⁶

The result of the treatment of the inmates of the Orphan Asylum, at Albany, is one, upon which all, who have the care of young children, should deeply ponder. During the first six years of the existence of this Institution, its average number of children was eighty. For the first three years, their diet was meat once a day, fine bread, rice, Indian puddings, vegetables, fruit, and milk. Considerable attention was given to clothing, fresh air, and exercise; and they were bathed once in three weeks. During these three years, from four to six children, and sometimes more, were continually on the sick-list; one or two assistant nurses were necessary; a physician was called, two or three times a week; and, in this time, there were between thirty and forty deaths. At the end of this period, the management was changed, in these respects:—daily ablutions of the whole body were practised; bread of unbolted flour was substituted for that of fine wheat; and all animal food was banished. More attention also was paid to clothing, bedding, fresh air, and exercise. The result was, that the nursery was vacated; the nurse and physician were no longer needed; and, for two years, not a single case of sickness or death occurred. The third year, also, there were no deaths, except those of two idiots and one other child, all of whom were new inmates, who had not been subjected to this treatment. The teachers of the children also testified, that there was a manifest increase of intellectual vigor and activity, while there was much less irritability of temper.

Let parents, nurses, and teachers, reflect on the above statement, and bear in mind, that stupidity of intellect, and irritability of temper, as well as ill health, are often caused by the mismanagement of the nursery, in regard to the physical training of children. There is probably no practice, more deleterious, than that of allowing children to eat at short intervals, through the day. As the stomach is thus kept constantly at work, with no time for repose, its functions are deranged, and a weak or disordered stomach is the frequent result. Children should be required to keep cakes, nuts, and other good things which they may have to eat, till just before a meal, and then they will form a part of their regular supply. This is better, than to wait till after their hunger is satisfied by food, when they will eat their niceties merely to gratify the palate, and thus overload the stomach.

In regard to the intellectual training of young children, some modification in the common practice is necessary, with reference to their physical wellbeing. More care is needful, in providing well-ventilated schoolrooms, and in securing more time for sports in the open air, during school hours. It is very important, to most mothers, that their young children should be removed from their care, during the six school hours; and it is very useful, to quite young children, to be subjected to the discipline of a school, and to intercourse with other children of their own age. And, with a suitable teacher, it is no matter how early children are sent to school, provided their health is not endangered, by impure air, too much confinement, and too great mental stimulus.

In regard to the formation of the moral character, it has been too much the case, that the discipline of the nursery has consisted of disconnected efforts to make children either do, or refrain from doing, certain particular acts. Do this, and be rewarded; do that, and be punished; is the ordinary routine of family government.

But children can be very early taught, that their happiness, both now and hereafter, depends on the formation of habits of submission, self-denial, and benevolence. And all the discipline of the nursery can be conducted by the parents, not only with this general aim in their own minds, but also with the same object daily set before the minds of the children. Whenever their wishes are crossed, or their wills subdued, they can be taught, that all this is done, not merely to please the parent, or to secure some good to themselves or to others; but as a part of that merciful training, which is designed to form such a character, and such habits, that they can hereafter find their chief happiness in giving up their will to God, and in living to do good to others, instead of living merely to please themselves.

It can be pointed out to them, that they must always submit their will to the will of God, or else be continually miserable. It can be shown, how in the nursery, and in the school, and through all future days, a child must practise the giving up of his will and wishes, when they interfere with the rights and comfort of others; and how important it is, early to learn to do this, so that it will, by habit, become easy and agreeable. It can be shown, how children, who are indulged in all their wishes, and who are never accustomed to any self-denial, always find it hard to refrain from what injures themselves and others. It can be shown, also, how important it is, for every person, to form such habits of benevolence, towards others, that self-denial, in doing good, will become easy.

Parents have learned, by experience, that children can be constrained, by authority and penalties, to exercise self-denial, for their own good, till a habit is formed, which makes the duty comparatively easy. For example, well-trained children can be accustomed to deny themselves tempting articles of food, which are injurious, until the practice ceases to be painful and difficult. Whereas, an indulged child would be thrown into fits of anger or discontent, when its wishes were crossed, by restraints of this kind.

But it has not been so readily discerned, that the same method is needful, in order to form a habit of self-denial, in doing good to others. It has been supposed, that, while children must be forced, by authority, to be self-denying and prudent, in regard to their own happiness, it may properly be left to their own discretion, whether they will practise any self-denial in doing good to others. But the more difficult a duty is, the greater is the need of parental authority, in forming a habit, which will make that duty easy.

In order to secure this, some parents turn their earliest efforts to this object. They require the young child always to offer to others a part of every thing which it receives; always to comply with all reasonable requests of others for service; and often to practise little acts of self-denial, in order to secure some enjoyment for others. If one child receives a present of some nicety, he is required to share it with all his brothers and sisters. If one asks his brother to help him in some sport, and is met with a denial, the parent requires the unwilling child to act benevolently, and give up some of his time to increase his brother's enjoyment. Of course, in such an effort as this, discretion must be used, as to the frequency and extent of the exercise of authority, to induce a habit of benevolence. But, where parents deliberately aim at such an object, and wisely conduct their instructions and discipline to secure it, very much will be accomplished.