Buch lesen: «His Temptation, Her Secret»

One

As the bride and groom whirled into the first dance at the sumptuously decorated Beacon Hill Crystal Club, TJ Bauer struggled to block memories of his own wedding. It had been more than two years since Lauren had died, and there were days when he was at relative peace with her loss. But there were also days like this when the ache was so acute that his chest balled into a painful knot of loneliness.

“Doing okay?” Caleb Watford approached, handing TJ a glass of single malt, one ice cube, just the way TJ liked it.

“I’m fine.”

“Liar.”

TJ had no intention of getting into it, so he nodded to the dance floor instead. “Matt’s one lucky man.”

Caleb watched TJ’s expression closely, as if he was debating whether or not to let the topic drop. “I’ll agree to that.”

“It was touch and go there for a while.” TJ forced his mind away from the memory of Lauren, reliving his good friend Matt Emerson’s frantic, ring-less marriage proposal to Tasha, her packed suitcases at her feet. “I thought she was going to say no.”

Caleb cracked a grin. “It all turned out in the end.”

TJ found his own smile for Matt’s good fortune. He was genuinely happy that his friend had found love. Tasha was smart, beautiful and completely down-to-earth. She was exactly what Matt needed in his life.

Caleb clapped a hand on TJ’s shoulder. “You’ll be next.”

“Not.” The cloud moved back over TJ’s emotions.

“You need to keep an open mind.”

“Would you replace Jules?”

The question brought silence.

TJ took a swallow of his drink. “That’s what I thought.”

“It’s easy to say never when she’s right here in front of me.”

Both men shifted their gazes to Caleb’s wife, Jules. She was radiant following the birth of her twin girls three months ago. Right now, she laughed at something her brother-in-law Noah said.

“It’s hard to get past the never part,” TJ said, struggling to put his feelings into words. He liked facts, not emotions. Emotions always tripped him up. “It’s not that I’m not trying. I am. But it always cycles back to Lauren.”

“I get it,” Caleb said. “At least I think I get it. I know I can’t possibly understand.”

“If I could flip a switch...” TJ let the sentence drop.

Intellectually, he knew Lauren wasn’t coming back. He even knew she’d want him to move on. But she was his true love, his one and only. He couldn’t imagine anyone taking her place.

“Give it some more time,” Caleb said.

“It’s not like I have a choice,” TJ responded, hearing the irony in his own tone. Time would march along no matter what he did or didn’t do.

The strains of the song wound down to an end, and Matt and Tasha moved toward them, all smiles. Her graceful tulle skirt floated over the polished floor. TJ never thought he’d see the tomboyish marine mechanic in full bridal attire. When she wore a dress instead of coveralls, she was quite stunningly beautiful.

“Come and dance with the bride,” she said to him, a tinkling laugh in her tone as she linked her arm with his.

“It would be an honor.” As the best man, he put a smile on his face and set down his drink, determined to keep his melancholy thoughts to himself.

“Is everything okay?” she asked as they swung onto the dance floor.

Other couples joined them, and the dance floor filled as the music swelled.

“Everything is great,” he said.

“I saw your expression when you were talking to Caleb.”

“Where did you learn to dance like this?” TJ appreciated her concern, but this was her day. She didn’t need to be worrying about him.

“What’s going on, TJ?”

“Nothing. Well, one thing. I’m a little jealous of Matt.”

“Now, that’s a big fat lie.”

He drew back slightly. “Look at yourself, Tasha. Every guy here is jealous of Matt.”

She shook her head and laughed.

“Except for Caleb,” TJ felt honor-bound to add. “And the other married guys... Well, some of them, anyway.”

Now she looked amused. “That was a very carefully constructed compliment.”

“It really went off the rails there, didn’t it?”

“You just kept getting deeper and deeper.”

“What I mean,” he said, “is that you make a radiant bride.”

“It’s a very time-limited thing,” she said.

It was his turn to laugh.

She put on a frown. “I can barely breathe in the corset, never mind walk in these heels. If there’s an emergency, somebody’s going to have to carry me out of here.”

“I’m sure Matt will be happy to carry you anywhere you need to go.”

She cast a glance at her new husband, and her expression turned to adoration. TJ felt a surge of envy at their obvious devotion to each other.

“Your mother seems delighted by the posh event,” he said, switching his focus.

“I’m doing my duty as a daughter. But I’ve warned Matt, this may be the last time he sees me in a dress.”

“You’re going out on a high note.”

TJ’s phone vibrated in his tux pocket. He had it on silent, but Tasha obviously heard the low buzz.

“You can get that,” she said.

“There’s nobody I need to talk to right now.”

“What if it’s one of your investors?”

“It’s Saturday night.”

“It’s Sunday morning in Australia.” Tasha was aware of TJ’s investment company’s global reach.

“So, it’s not a workday there either.” He had no intention of interrupting the wedding reception with business.

The buzzing stopped.

“See?” he told her. “It went away.”

“It always goes away when you don’t pick up.”

The phone buzzed again.

She stopped dancing. “You need to get that, TJ.”

“No, I don’t.” He gently urged her to move.

“At least see who it is.”

“It’s nobody more important than you and Matt.”

“It could be an emergency.”

“Fine.” He wasn’t about to stand in the middle of the dance floor and argue with the bride.

He discreetly withdrew his phone and started dancing again.

Apparently appeased, she matched his movements.

Glancing down, he was surprised to see the call was from Seattle’s St. Bea’s Hospital. His company was a longtime contributor to Highside Hospital near his home in Whiskey Bay. But there was no affiliation with St. Bea’s. He supposed someone could be soliciting a donation.

“Who is it?” Tasha asked.

He realized he’d stopped dancing again.

“St. Bea’s Hospital.”

A look of concern came over her face. “Someone could be hurt.”

“I don’t know why they’d take them to St. Bea’s.”

He was acquainted with a few people in Seattle, but most of his friends were in Whiskey Bay or Washington’s capital city, Olympia, which was the closest major city. Even in Olympia, there was nobody who’d have him listed as an emergency contact.

The ringing stopped again.

“You better call them back,” Tasha said. She linked her arm with his, steering him off the dance floor.

“Tasha,” he protested.

“Humor me, or I’ll worry.”

“If that’s what it takes.” He hated being the cause of a disruption.

“That’s what it takes.”

At the edge of the floor, she moved away, giving him privacy.

TJ kept walking to the foyer, where the sound of the band was blocked, so it was quieter. He hit the callback button.

“St. Bea’s Hospital, Oncology,” a crisp female voice answered.

Oncology? Someone had cancer? “This is Travis Bauer. I’m returning a call from this number.”

“Yes, Mr. Bauer. Let me put you through to Dr. Stannis.”

“What is this—” TJ stopped talking when the line clicked and went silent.

He waited a few moments, not sure whether to be anxious or simply curious.

“Mr. Bauer?”

“Yes?”

“This is Dr. Shelley Stannis. I’m with the oncology transplant department here at St. Bea’s.”

A light came on for TJ. “Is this about a bone marrow donation?”

“Yes, it is. Thank you for calling back so quickly. Obviously, I got your information from the registry. We have a young leukemia patient here who is a potential match with you. If you’re available, I’d like to set up a consultation and possibly final testing.”

“How old?” It was the first question that came to TJ’s mind.

“He’s nine years old,” she said.

TJ didn’t hesitate. “When do you need me?”

“Are you saying you’re willing to donate?”

“Absolutely.”

“Do you have any questions?”

“I’m sure I will, although not right now. I’m in Boston. But I can come back.”

There was a pause on the line. “If it’s possible, Mr. Bauer, we’d like to do the tests tomorrow. As you can imagine, we have a very anxious mother hoping you’ll turn out to be a close enough match.”

“I’ll be there. And please, call me TJ.”

“Thank you very much, TJ.”

“Of course. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He ended the call.

“Everything okay?” Matt had appeared beside him.

“Fine. Hopefully very fine. I may be a bone marrow match for a nine-year-old boy in Seattle.”

It seemed to take Matt a moment to process the statement.

“I really hate to cut out on you,” TJ said.

“Go!” Matt said, making a shooing motion with his hands. “Go, save a life.”

TJ could feel his adrenaline come up with purpose. His next call was to a jet charter company he’d used in the past.

He didn’t want to fight for a seat on a red-eye when a young boy and his mother were waiting. And he could afford to fly privately. There were moments in life when it came in handy to be a ridiculously wealthy man.

* * *

As she followed the wide corridor at St. Bea’s Hospital, Sage Costas’s heels echoed against the polished linoleum. Her stomach churned as it had for the past nine days while her son, Eli, had undergone a battery of tests and been diagnosed with an aggressive form of leukemia. The closer she came to the family lounge, the harder her heart pounded. She found herself wondering how much stress the human body could endure before it simply shut down.

She’d barely slept all week, hadn’t slept at all last night. She’d forced herself to shower this morning and put on a little makeup. She didn’t know why she thought makeup might help. But she wanted to make a good impression. She was terrified the donor would back out.

She could see him now. Through the lounge windows, she could see a tall, dark-haired, smartly dressed man talking to Dr. Stannis. He had to be the donor.

Her steps slowed, and she swallowed. Then she stopped at the closed door. It was more than she could do to push the handle. She’d prayed desperately for this moment. So much was at stake. She wasn’t sure she could face it if the process fell apart.

She forced herself to open the door and step inside the lounge.

Dr. Stannis immediately spotted her. “Hello, Sage.”

The man turned. His expression was instant bewilderment. “Sage?”

Her world tipped on its axis.

“Is that you?” he asked, stepping forward.

A roar came up in her ears. Her vision switched to black and white, then tunneled down to a pinhole.

“Sage?” Dr. Stannis moved quickly, taking her by the arm.

Sage’s brain pulsed a million miles an hour. The room swayed for a moment, until her vision cleared.

He was still standing there.

“I’m fine,” she managed to say around the lingering noise inside her head.

“Have you met TJ Bauer?” Dr. Stannis asked with obvious curiosity.

“We went to the same high school.” Her voice was little more than a squeak.

How could this be happening?

“It’s your son who’s sick?” TJ’s expression was filled with concern. “I’m so sorry, Sage.”

Then his forehead creased, and she could all but see the calculations going on inside his head.

He turned to the doctor. “You said he was nine?”

“Yes.”

TJ twisted slowly back to Sage, his words carefully enunciated. “And I’m a likely bone marrow match for him?”

Sage tried to swallow again, but her throat had gone paper dry.

TJ’s eyes shifted from blue to gray thunder. “Is he my son?”

The doctor went still. The entire world went still. The ventilation system clicked against the booming silence.

All Sage could manage was a nod.

Dr. Stannis’s grip firmed up on Sage’s arm. “Perhaps we should sit down.”

“I have a son?” TJ asked, his voice hoarse. “You got pregnant?”

Sage tried to speak. She managed to move her lips, but no sounds came out.

TJ wasn’t having the same problem. “And you didn’t tell me?”

Dr. Stannis jumped in. “I think it would be best if we all—”

Bitterness suddenly broke through Sage’s fear. She found her voice, all but shouting. “You didn’t deserve to know.”

“Sage.” Dr. Stannis’s tone was shocked and sharp.

Sage immediately realized her mistake.

They were dependent on TJ. Eli’s life depended on this man’s good graces, this man who had deceived her, lied to her and taken shameless advantage of her teenage naïveté as a prank to amuse his friends.

She hated him. But he was the one person who could save her son’s life.

“I’m sorry,” she said, trying desperately to put some sincerity into her tone.

Judging by his expression, she hadn’t pulled it off.

“Please don’t...” Her stomach cramped up. “Please don’t take it out on Eli.”

He looked completely dumbfounded. Then he swore under his breath. “You actually think I’d harm a little boy...my own son—” He seemed to gather himself. “You think I’d let my anger with you impact my decision to donate? What kind of a man do you think I am?”

She didn’t know what kind of a man he was. She knew what kind of a teenager he’d been back then—unscrupulous and self-centered. She had no reason to assume he’d changed.

“I don’t know.” She forced the words out.

“Well, know,” he said. He looked to Dr. Stannis again. “How soon will we be sure I’m a close enough match?”

“A few days,” she said. “But given the genetic connection, I’m even more optimistic.”

“It’s a stroke of luck,” TJ said flatly.

Sage couldn’t begin to guess at the emotion behind those words.

Dr. Stannis moved to look her directly in the eyes. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

“I’m fine.” For the moment, she was fine.

TJ was going to help them. They’d figure out the rest later. For now, the bone marrow transplant was all that mattered.

The doctor stepped back. “I’ll give the two of you some time to talk.”

With a final assessment of Sage’s expression, she left the lounge.

Sage had no idea what to say next, and the seconds ticked past.

When TJ finally spoke, there was contained fury in his tone. “I’m not going to ask you how you could have done something so horrible.”

“Me?” Sage could barely believe he’d said it. “You were there. You know exactly what happened between us.”

He waved a dismissive hand. “That was a stupid stunt by an ignorant kid. We’ve grown up since then. You’ve known about this for a decade.”

“You were a shallow, self-centered jerk.”

He squared his shoulders and set his square jaw. “I don’t want to fight with you, Sage. This conversation can wait. Right now, I want to meet my son.”

Sage staggered and reached to an armchair for support. “No.”

“What do you mean no? No is no longer an option for you.”

She struggled for the right words. “You can’t tell him, TJ. Not now. Not while he’s so sick.” She stretched her arm expansively toward the door to the rest of the hospital. “There’s no way we can expect him to absorb news like that in the middle of all this.”

TJ seemed to consider her words. His expression lost its hard edge. “I need to meet him, Sage. We don’t have to tell him I’m his father, at least not right away. But I’m going to meet him, and I’m not waiting another minute.”

Sage decided she could live with that. “Okay.”

“His name is Eli?”

“Yes. Eli Thomas Costas.”

TJ didn’t react to the name. He walked over to the lounge door and pulled it open, holding it for her. “Take me to my son.”

* * *

“Whoa, whoa, back up, back up,” Matt said to TJ. “You say he’s nine years old?”

“It was in high school,” TJ responded.

There was an open beer on the wide arm of his wooden deck chair on Matt’s Whiskey Bay Marina sundeck, but TJ had no interest in drinking it.

“So, before you met Lauren,” Caleb said.

The three men were sitting around the gas fire pit, but it was early on a June evening, so they hadn’t bothered lighting it.

“I didn’t cheat on Lauren.” TJ’s tone was hard.

“I’m just getting the time line straight.”

“It was a one-night thing. At prom. We danced.”

TJ didn’t want to own up to participating in the foolish prank that had led him to ask nerdy brainiac Sage Costas to dance with him that night. At least not until he had to. And he hoped that was never.

“And she never told you about the baby?” Matt asked.

“I assume that’s rhetorical,” TJ replied.

If Sage had told him about Eli, TJ would have moved heaven and earth to have a relationship with his son. TJ’s own father had walked out before TJ was born, and there was no way he’d do that to a child of his own.

“What’s he like?” Caleb asked, his tone dropping.

TJ’s mind went back to the sleepy boy in the stark hospital bed. “He’s a great-looking kid.”

Eli had been too tired to do much but say hello.

“Like his dad?” Matt joked.

TJ would be lying if he said he hadn’t seen some of himself in Eli. He didn’t think he was imagining it.

“If he’s got his mother’s brains, the world better watch out.” As he said the words, TJ realized they were entirely true. From a genetic perspective, Eli had a fantastic mother. Back in high school, Sage was voted most likely to save the world or become president.

“When are you going to tell him?” Matt asked.

TJ decided it was time for a shot of alcohol, no matter how weak. He raised his beer and took a drink before answering. “I don’t know. When he’s feeling better, I guess.”

“And the tests?”

“They said the results will take a couple of days. I’ve got three major private placement deals on the table. I have to close them. Then I’m clearing my desk to go back to Seattle. Whatever happens, if I’m a match or not, he’s still my kid, and he’s getting the best medical care money can buy.”

Matt and Caleb exchanged a look.

“What?” TJ asked.

“That’s a good place for your money,” Matt said.

“You bet it’s a good place for my money.”

But money wasn’t the only thing his son needed. TJ didn’t know what he’d do if he wasn’t a bone marrow match. He had to be a match. Nothing else was acceptable.

“You talked to him?” Caleb asked.

“Only a little. He was pretty groggy from all the medication. Sage says he plays baseball, a catcher.”

“Have you talked to a lawyer?” Matt asked.

“I’ve talked to three lawyers.” TJ’s company Tide Rush Investments had a financial lawyer on retainer and his firm had a family law division.

“What do they say?”

“That I’ve got a case.”

“What are you looking to get?” Matt asked.

“What has she offered?” Caleb’s brow shot up.

TJ took another pull on his beer. It was such an incredibly ordinary thing to do—sitting up here with his two friends like he had hundreds of times over the years. But his life had been turned upside down. It would never be the same again.

He’d been considering his position for the past thirty-six hours. “She had custody for the first nine years. I’ll take the next nine.”

Caleb frowned.

“You can’t take that hard a line,” Matt said.

“A teenage boy needs his dad. I’d have given anything to have my old man show up in my life when I was Eli’s age,” TJ said. He had a lot of time to make up for, and he had no intention of letting Sage or anyone else stop him.

“They need their mom too,” Caleb said.

TJ knew that. But he didn’t want to admit it right now. He wanted to hold on to his anger at Sage for a while.

“She can have visitation,” he said. “That’s more than she gave me.”

“Could you move to Seattle?” Matt asked.

“The Whiskey Bay school is top-notch,” TJ countered. “So is the area hospital. And the lifestyle can’t be beat.” He couldn’t imagine a more perfect place to raise a child.

“The neighbors are pretty good,” Caleb said with a half smile.

“It’s not like I don’t have the room.”

His wife, Lauren, had wanted several children. She’d designed a six-bedroom house with a massive recreation area in the basement for rainy days and a nanny suite over the garage. She’d been trying to get pregnant when she was diagnosed with breast cancer.

“I can’t see it being that straightforward.” There was a cautionary note to Matt’s voice.

“Nothing’s that straightforward,” TJ said. “But I’m a determined and resourceful man.”

“She’s the mother of your child.”

“And I’m the father of hers—a fact she seems to have conveniently ignored.”

“Do you know why?” Caleb asked. “Why she kept it from you? I mean, she could easily have come after you for child support.”

“She wouldn’t have had to come after me. I’d have stepped up without a fight.”

“I know. I know. But you’d think she’d have wanted your help.”

TJ knew the whole truth would eventually come out. His friends were too astute, and they cared too much about him to let him get away with a vague explanation. It was both a blessing and a curse.

TJ took the plunge. “She said I didn’t deserve to know about Eli.”

“Why?” Caleb’s question was perfectly predictable.

“Because it was a prank.”

Both of his friends looked at him blankly.

“Prom night.” TJ gritted his teeth at the memory. “A group of us, the seniors on the football team, we each picked a girl’s name out of a hat. I picked Sage.”

“I’m guessing they weren’t the girls on the cheerleading squad,” Matt said. His disappointment in TJ was obvious.

TJ knew he deserved that. “Not the cheerleading squad. They were the nerds, the brains. It was supposed to be a kiss, only a dance and a kiss. That was it. But Sage...”

He remembered the overpowering rush of adolescent hormones. He couldn’t say what it was about her. She had been thin and freckled, with this wild red hair. But when he’d kissed her, she’d kissed him back, and they’d both been left breathless. His car had been far too close to the side door of the gym, and they’d ended up in the back seat.

“We can fill in the rest,” Caleb said.

“I tracked her down the next day to apologize. But she’d already heard about the prank. She was enraged, punched me square in the chest.” TJ’s hand went reflexively to the spot where her small fist had connected. “She told me she never wanted to speak to me again.”

“You can’t blame her,” Matt said.

“It was stupid and cruel, I know. But I only planned to kiss her. The rest of it was on both of us. It was more than just consensual. And she’s kept my son from me for nine years. The two things don’t even compare.”