"Alie, is this a barn?"
"Oh, Asya, you've again confused it, it's not his barn, it's Sarajevo!"
"Well, to hell with him." This is me from excitement.
"What happened?"
– She even asks "sho happened"?! Do you remember Grisha, Sof's husband, Sho Amalia's sister from Kiev?
– No.
– That ray. So he needs ott iceland moss.
"And he wants you naked, that moss?"
"In what sense?"
"Well, where will they pour it?"
– Where would not flood, it is still nada.
There was a gurgling mooing in the receiver.
– Moramo misliti…
"What?"
"I'm talking nada to think."
"Then speak humanly!"
"Okay, look, do you remember how my Simochka was leaving, at Salerno?"
"Why not?" Is it on Greece?
"No, it's in Italy." The truth is that later she moved to Rome. So that's it. On the transfer or deto there, she met one pair. He is a solid man, himself a dentist, wearing glasses, with noble gray hair. She, too, is nothing – a spectacular blonde, a child is about to turn around medicine. A psychologist or a sho-something so indecent.
– Psychologist? But what is it? Can psychiatrist?
– No, the psychologist is the one who does not heal.
"What does sho do?"
– Well, so, talk.
"But there's no one to talk to them there?"
"Oh, Asya, do I know?"
"Listen… do we have such a thing?"
– No. On the line, he surrendered to us! Neither the hospital write out, nor the direction, on the fluuriagram.
– Where?
"He went to get XRey done!" Where.
– And what?
– – What do you mean What?! So they have their own acquaintances among doctors.
– – So call already that Rome!
–
– – Alie, this is the Eternal City?
– "No, it's Rome." Dial the code of Jerusalem more cautiously.
– "But I call Rome!"
– – Then why are you confusing me?
– "I'm already over eighty, so I can."
– "Ah, it's you, Mira Lvovna?"
– – It's me. But do you tell the ray how our Giuseppe is there?
– – Oh, he does not even speak.
– – Like this?! You said that six months ago he talked Toko?
– – And who are you asking about?
– "About little Giuseppe."
– "Giuseppe is a grandfather, who has long since died!" And the kid is Genaro!
– – Oh, you, Lord! How do you distinguish them there?! And who is your husband?!!
– "Giordano's husband, his brother Giacomo, nephew of Jeramino, and brother-in-law of Giuliano."
– "Oh, Simochka, you have an angelic memory and patience, like that of Herostratus."
– – Or Hippocrates?
– It is necessary to think.
– "Oh, that's Archimedes' wish!"
– – You, Mira Lvovna are windy as a thymus thymus "Lazio" – a metropolitan team, but nihilo, except for the finale Mussolini, for her never hurt. And you, Mira Lvovna, do not be ill, well, that is, be healthy, regardless of your sclerosis.
– – ABOUT! Sclerosis. Well sho you remembered mine! I did what I call, I still need Icelandic moss…
–
– At that time, when boiling, sometimes reaching boiling, telephone conversations, splashing out on the heads of many acquaintances, unfamiliar and completely unfamiliar people with a problem called "Icelandic moss", Comrade Navalyaev, having put on an old mother's sweater and trousers brought by Uncle Senei, or From Surgut, or from Tyumen, he felt the spots of asphalt of the garage cooperative "Barvinok" with the soles of his sandals. The Navalyaevs' box, numbered 23, housed a gate to the gates with garage No. 13, where the old settlers mentioned above occupied cells 13 and 14.
– With a bucket in his hand, where the new brush dangled, Callistrat Ippolitovich, in all its glory and with an immovable smile, appeared before the auto-old men. His short canvas trousers, and the belly sticking out from under the dilapidated sweatshirts, of an incomprehensible color, gave Navalyaev even more absurdity, bringing his appearance to a completely stupid. Listed below, madness, Callistratus Ippolitovich capped a newspaper made with a cocked hat, which he called "Pear", in honor of the last marshal of the empire – Emmanuel Grusha.
– – Hey Kalik!
– The drivers exclaimed, seeing an unsettled figure that had grown up in the opening of the wide-open gate. Old men are not what they would have liked a neighbor, but they had a genuine sympathy for Navalyayev, sometimes picking his Sisyphus – as Callistrat Ippolitovich called his own, no less than himself, an awkward car.
– – Hello comrades.
– Zardev from meekness, Navalyaev shyly said.
– – What did you get?
– Asked Pif, who was sitting in a wheelchair, not taking his eyes from the drawing on the thick sheet of Whatman.
– – Yes, here, you see, my mother punished me, now painting gate.
– – Didn't you painted this gate last year!
– – Yes I did. But my mother is worried that they will rust and ordered another dense layer of paint to be applied.
– "It's not iron anymore, but armor."
– Muttered not drunk Afonya, looking for among the scattered on the concrete floor carrots for 17.
–
– At the same time, Slime's cousin, came to the hospital, at the call of a wounded friend. He threw his white robe over his shoulders and made his way to the seventeenth ward, sitting at the cot of the bandaged Kobelkovsky.
– – Healthy Cum.
– Sliva whispered, as if he were afraid of being heard by a four of the injured, laid in a bed here, along the wall of a narrow chamber.
– – Finally!
– The patient bellowed.
– "Shaw happened, Vovan?!"
– – Yes, there is such a thing…
– In response, Kobelkovsky whispered, cautiously looking around.
– -… Lyuska stayed in the garage.
– "What Lyuska?"
– "That Josephine!" What else?
– – A-ah.
– Stretched Plum.
– "And in which garage?"
– – In my! What else!
– "Why did she stay there?"
– Not allowing himself to let go of the usual explanation, overflowing with excessive obscene expressions, Vovan decided to take the bull by the horns.
– "You… go to my garage and let Lyuska go." She's been there since the night. Do you have a key?
– – And how, then.
– "Shaw, how is it?"
– – There is.
– "Well, then go on." Toko runs!
– Kum Sliva, in bewilderment, rushed to the exit, thinking on the run, what exactly should he do.
–
– Having reached the Saksaganskogo street on the ninth street, Vittorio Toldo, consulted the friendly passers-by about the final point of his journey, then confidently walked to the garage cooperative "Barvinok", which in one of his letters he wrote to an old friend of Kardup. Having found himself at the garage number 13, where passions and work were boiling, he froze like a statue of his great compatriots, looking at the hunched figure of Pyth, applying lines and calculations on the sheet of Whatman. Noticing the lonely silhouette with the corner of his eye, Epiphan Osipovich Cardupa narrowed his eyes, which he did not believe when he recognized his old friend.
– "Vittorio!" Are you?!
– On this occasion, he even tore his ass from the shabby pillow, making several steps towards the dear guest.
– "I'm Epifanio!" I, who else!
– "Oh, you're a stinker!" Rogue you Apenninskaya!
– The friends embraced.
– – How are you here?! With what wind?
– – Yes, here, came with a delegation from the firm "FIAT". Tonight I'm leaving for Moscow, from there to Togliatti.
– – Yes, Togliatti… did you think that the scabby fellow, that the name of your leader and associate – Comrade Palmiro, will be called a beautiful city in the freest country in the world!
– The Italian guest shrugged.
– "Here, comrades, my friend, the Italian communist, comrade-in-arms and younger brother-Vittorio Toldo!" Please love and respect.
– Wiping his hands from black on oiled trousers, Autogen, Afonya, followed by Navalyayev, they warmly welcomed the hands of an unprecedented Italian citizen.
– – Thanks friends. Thank you.
– Smiling, thanked Vittorio.
– – Very touched. Molto bello [2]! Very nice.
– – And it's in our way so normally!
– Slamming the tourist on the shoulder, concluded Afonya.
– – Still would! He's been living with us for a long time. From the Fascists of the damned was hiding.
– Vittorio looked at the benevolent glance of the crowd in the close box.
– – And you have a very beautiful hat.
– He pointed his finger at the pendant "pear" Navalyayev, after which all burst with a loud laugh. To the noise, from nearby garages, drunken motorists were pulled.
– "Brothers, a friend from Italy has arrived!" And this is not a mosquito for you to bite off a trunk!
– Pif did not stop.
– – And he is not a bourgeois?
– Mitka Nahalyavushkin from the 30th garage, who at the moment took at least three hundred grams of "white", asked.
– "You yourself are a bourgeois!" Drunk your face!
– Cardup stepped in. He swung his mount at Mitka. In order to smooth out the misunderstanding, Nakhalyavushkin grabbed the Italian's hand with a sugary smile.
– "It's a very pleasant comrade Italian." And I'm Nakhalyavushkin, you can just Mitrofan.
– After Mitka, it was the turn of the brothers Granitolevich – Valentine and Dermantin, from the 2nd box, looking very much alike. Then came the half-drunk Kolya-Karburotor, clutching Vittorio's neck.
– "Let me kiss you brother!"
– – ABOUT! This is not necessary.
– – Are you squeamish?!
– – Not at all.
– With an easy accent the Italian said.
– "Tada, what's your name?"
– "Vittorio."
– – Yeah, so in our opinion Vityok. And I'm Kolyan. We will know each other.
– – Yes, thanks, good, familiar.
– – Osipovich…
– Kolyan addressed all those present.
– "… this is the case."
– – Well, what's more?
– – The thing is, my mother has a birthday party.
– – Which fuck?
– Afonya asked.
– – Well, so this…
– He lost his way in Kolyan's memoirs, nodding his head towards "Bessarabka". The thing is,
– That the surname of the godfather was so hard to pronounce that when Kolyan pronounced it, helped himself with gestures, then one day he dislocated his hand. Therefore, we do not venture to present this horror to the respected reader, confining ourselves to the initials of the kuma – Evpat Tazobedrovich. Yes-yes, you did not misinterpret, it was Tazobedrovich, since Eupatia's grandfather was an orthopedist, and gave his father, we say mildly, a rather strange name, spoiling the boy's life.
– – Kolya, do not quote with Hegel's gestures, you will become an invalid.
– Caesar warned Corbiurator of the injuries of the clever Pyth.
– – Yes you are, stunned! This name is not something to wear, it's even in your mind to say scary!
– Grumbled amazed Afonya.
– – Especially since I already know this Evpah – Yes, here, came with a delegation from the firm "FIAT". Tonight I'm leaving for Moscow, from there to Togliatti.
– – Yes, Togliatti… did you think that the scabby fellow, that the name of your leader and associate – Comrade Palmiro, will be called a beautiful city in the freest country in the world!
– The Italian guest shrugged.
– "Here, comrades, my friend, the Italian communist, comrade-in-arms and younger brother-Vittorio Toldo!" Please love and respect.
– Wiping his hands from black on oiled trousers, Autogen, Afonya, followed by Navalyayev, they warmly welcomed the hands of an unprecedented Italian citizen.
– – Thanks friends. Thank you.
– Smiling, thanked Vittorio.
– – Very touched. Molto bello! Very nice.
– – And it's in our way so normally!
– Slamming the tourist on the shoulder, concluded Afonya.
– – Still would! He's been living with us for a long time. From the Fascists of the damned was hiding.
– Vittorio looked at the benevolent glance of the crowd in the close box.
– – And you have a very beautiful hat.
– He pointed his finger at the pendant "pear" Navalyayev, after which all burst with a loud laugh. To the noise, from nearby garages, drunken motorists were pulled.
– "Brothers, a friend from Italy has arrived!" And this is not a mosquito for you to bite off a trunk!
– Pif did not stop.
– – And he is not a bourgeois?
– Mitka Nahalyavushkin from the 30th garage, who at the moment took at least three hundred grams of "white", asked.
– "You yourself are a bourgeois!" Drunk your face!
– Cardup stepped in. He swung his mount at Mitka. In order to smooth out the misunderstanding, Nakhalyavushkin grabbed the Italian's hand with a sugary smile.
– "It's a very pleasant comrade Italian." And I'm Nakhalyavushkin, you can just Mitrofan.
–
– After Mitka, it was the turn of the brothers Granitolevich – Valentine and Dermantin, from the 2nd box, looking very much alike. Then came the half-drunk Kolya-Karburotor, clutching Vittorio's neck.
– "Let me kiss you brother!"
– – ABOUT! This is not necessary.
– – Are you squeamish?!
– – Not at all.
– With an easy accent the Italian said.
– "Tada, what's your name?"
– "Vittorio."
– – Yeah, so in our opinion Vityok. And I'm Kolyan. We will know each other.
– – Yes, thanks, good, familiar.
– – Osipovich…
– Kolyan addressed all those present.
– "… this is the case."
– – Well, what's more?
– – The thing is, my mother has a birthday party.
– – Which fuck?
– Afonya asked.
– – Well, so this…
– He lost his way in Kolyan's memoirs, nodding his head towards "Bessarabka". The fact is, Ram. It's from the new, from the 46th garage. I changed the ring for him.
– – Yeah.
– Kolyan, nodding, nodded.
– – There is a clearing cover.
– Rubbing his hands, Nahalyavushkin howled with enthusiasm.
– – No, thanks, of course, but we will not go. Celebrate yourself.
– "You are Osipovich!" We Toko two, and grub and swallowed the sea. Salo there, conservation is different. Do not offend.
– – Yes, there. Let's go really.
– Afonja rushed through. Piff looked at Vittorio. He shrugged his shoulders.
– – Okay. Only you here that. You all this snack, well, and the rest, here you drag. Here we will note.
– Without wrangling, Kolya the Carburettor, the brothers Granitolevich and Nakhalyavushkin, soon disappeared between the garages.