English Caricature and Satire on Napoleon I. Volume I (of 2)

CHAPTER XXXIV

INVASION SQUIBS, continued– THE BOTTLE CONJUROR – PIDCOCK’S MENAGERIE

In order to understand the next caricature, it is necessary to go back to January 16, 1749, when a famous hoax was played on the public. The ‘Gentleman’s Magazine’ for that month says, ‘A person advertised that he would, this evening, at the Theatre in the Hay-market, play on a common walking cane the music of every instrument now used, to surprising perfection; that he would, on the stage, get into a tavern quart bottle, without equivocation; and while there, sing several songs, and suffer any spectator to handle the bottle; that, if any spectator should come mask’d, he would, if requested, declare who they were; that, in a private room, he would produce the representation of any person dead, with which the party requesting it could converse some minutes as if alive, &c.’

The bait took, and the theatre was crowded: patience was exhausted, and some one in the pit calling out that ‘For double prices, the conjurer will go into a pint bottle,’ an uproar began, which ended in the wreckage of the house, which was made into a bonfire outside, and the carrying off of the treasury.

With this introduction we can the better understand ‘Britannia blowing up the Corsican Bottle-Conjurer,’ by I. Cruikshank (August 17, 1803), which represents Napoleon being violently ejected into the air, in an extremely disorganised condition, from the mouth of a bottle which is labelled ‘British Spirits composed of True Liberty, Courage, Loyalty and Religion,’ and in which is seated Britannia, helmed, and armed with spear and shield.

Woodward designed ‘The Corsican Moth’ (August 22, 1803), which, flying towards the candle, exclaims: ‘It is a very fierce flame; I am afraid I shall singe my wings!’ George III. consoles himself with: ‘Thou little contemptible insect, I shall see thee consumed by-and-by.’

This very vivid caricature explains itself. The French Court are consuming all the good things to be got by the invasion of England in anticipation, when the fearful ‘Mene, Mene, Tekel Upharsin,’ the mystic handwriting on the wall, appears. Napoleon is in consternation, but his wife and the assembled guests do not seem to notice it. Josephine is here, as generally, depicted as being very fat. She was not so at this time, nor for some time after. Madame Junot says: ‘I observed that Josephine had grown very stout since the time of my departure from Spain. This change was at once for the better and the worse. It imparted a more youthful appearance to her face; but her elegant and slender figure, which had been one of her principal attractions, had entirely disappeared. She was now decidedly embonpoint, and her figure had assumed that matronly air which we find in the statues of Agrippina, Cornelia, &c.’ The three ladies behind her chair are supposed to represent Pauline, who was afterwards the Princess Borghese, the Princess Louise, and the Princess Joseph Bonaparte.

‘A Knock Down blow in the Ocean, or Bonaparte taking French leave,’ is by some unknown artist (August 24, 1803). John Bull, stripped to the waist in true pugilistic style, has encountered Bonaparte in the Channel, and, with one well-directed blow, has sunk him, leaving only his hat and boots to tell the tale. With great satisfaction the old man says: ‘There, my lad, I think that blow will settle the business. D – n me, he is gone in such a hurry he has left his hat and spurs behind him.’ The English give ringing cheers: ‘John Bull for ever! Huzza! Huzza! Bravo! Bravo!’ But the French look very rueful, and, wringing their hands and weeping, exclaim: ‘Ah! misericorde, pauvre Bonaparte. O dat Terrible Jean Bool.’

AN INVASION SKETCH

If there be one Person so lost to all Love for his Country, and the British Constitution, as to suppose that his Person or his Property, his Rights and his Freedom, would be respected under a Foreign Yoke, let him contemplate the following Picture – not Overcharged, but drawn from Scenes afforded by every Country: Italy, Holland, Switzerland, Germany, Spain, Hanover, which has been exposed to the Miseries of a French Invasion.

London, 10 Thermidor – Year —

General Bonaparte made his public entrance into the capital, over London Bridge, upon a charger from his Britannic Majesty’s Stables at Hanover, preceded by a detachment of Mamelukes. He stopped upon the bridge for a few seconds, to survey the number of ships in the river; and, beckoning to one of his Aid-de-camps, ordered the French flags to be hoisted above the English – the English sailors on board, who attempted to resist the execution of this order, were bayonetted, and thrown overboard.

When he came to the Bank, he smiled with complaisance upon a detachment of French grenadiers, who had been sent to load all the bullion in waggons, which had previously been put in requisition by the Prefect of London, Citizen Mengaud, for the purpose of being conveyed to France. The Directors of the Bank were placed under a strong guard of French soldiers, in the Bank parlour.

From the Bank, the First Consul proceeded, in grand procession, along Cheapside, St. Paul’s, Ludgate Hill, Fleet Street, and the Strand, to St. James’s Palace. He there held a grand Circle, which was attended by all his officers, whose congratulations he received upon his entrance into the Capital of these once proud islanders. Bonaparte, previous to his arrival, appointed two Prefects, one for London, and one for Westminster. Citizen Mengaud, late Commissary at Calais, is the Prefect of London, and Citizen Rapp, of Westminster. He also nominated Citizen Fouché to the office of Minister of Police. The Mansion-house has been selected for the residence of the Prefect of London, and Northumberland House for the residence of the Prefect of Westminster. As it has been deemed necessary to have the Minister of Police always near the person of the First Consul, Marlborough House has been given to Citizen Fouché. Lodgings have been prepared elsewhere, for the late owners of that splendid Palace.

London was ordered to be illuminated, and detachments of French Dragoons paraded the principal streets, and squares, all night.

11 Thermidor

Bonaparte, at five o’clock in the morning, reviewed the French Troops on the Esplanade at the Horse Guards. A Council was afterwards held, at which the following Proclamations were drawn up, and ordered to be posted in every part of the City:

By Order of the First Consul

PROCLAMATION

St. James’s Palace.

Inhabitants of London, be tranquil. The Hero, the Pacificator, is come among you. His moderation, and his mercy, are too well known to you. He delights in restoring peace and liberty to all mankind. Banish all alarms. Pursue your usual occupations. Put on the habit of joy and gladness.

The First Consul orders,

That all the Inhabitants of London and Westminster remain in their own houses for three days.

That no molestation shall be offered to the measures which the French Soldiers will be required to execute.

All persons disobeying these Orders, will be immediately carried before the Minister of Police.

(signed) Bonaparte.

The Minister of Police Fouché.

PROCLAMATION

To the French Soldiers

Soldiers! Bonaparte has led you to the Shores, and the Capital of this proud island. He promised to reward his brave companions in arms. He promised to give up the Capital of the British Empire to pillage. Brave Comrades take your reward. London, the second Carthage, is given up to pillage for three days.

(signed) Bonaparte.

The Minister of War, par interim Angereau.

The acclamations of the French soldiery —Vive Bonaparte—le Heros—le Pacificateur—le Magnanime– resound through every street.

12th, 13th, 14th, Thermidor

London Pillaged! The doors of private houses forced. Bands of drunken soldiers dragging wives, and daughters, from the arms of husbands, and fathers. Many husbands, who had the temerity to resist, butchered in the presence of their Children – Flames seen in a hundred different places, bursting from houses which had been set fire to, by the vivacity of the troops. Churches broken open, and the Church plate plundered – The pews and altars converted into stabling – Four Bishops murdered, who had taken refuge in Westminster Abbey – The screams of women, and of children, mix with the cries of the soldiers —Vive la Republique! Vive Bonaparte!

St. Martin’s Church converted into a depôt for the property acquired by the pillage of the soldiery.

15 Thermidor

A proclamation published by the First Consul, promising protection to the inhabitants.

The houses of the principal Nobility and Gentry, appropriated to the use of the French Generals. Every house is required to furnish so many rations of bread and meat for the troops.

At a Council of State, presided over by Bonaparte, the two Houses of Parliament are solemnly abolished, and ordered to be replaced by a Senate, and a Council of State. General Massena appointed Provisional President of the former, and General Dessolles of the latter. The Courts of Law are directed to discontinue their sittings, and are replaced by Military tribunals.

 

16 Thermidor

A contribution of twenty millions ordered to be levied upon London. A deputation was sent to Bonaparte to represent the impossibility of complying with the demand, the Bank and the Capital having been pillaged. After waiting in the ante-chamber of the Consul for four hours, the deputation are informed by a Mameluke guard, that Bonaparte will not see them. Two hundred of the principal citizens ordered to be imprisoned till the contribution is paid.

17 Thermidor

A plot discovered by Fouché against the First Consul, and three hundred, supposed to be implicated in it, sent to the Tower.

Insurrections in different parts of the Capital, on account of the excesses of the soldiers, and the contribution of twenty millions. Cannon planted at all the principal avenues, and a heavy fire of grape-shot kept up against the insurgents.

Lords Nelson, St. Vincent, and Duncan, Messrs. Addington, Pitt, Sheridan, Grey, twenty Peers and Commons, among the latter is Sir Sidney Smith, tried by the Military tribunals, for having been concerned in the insurrection against France, and sentenced to be shot. Sentence was immediately carried into execution in Hyde Park.

17 Thermidor

The Dock-yards ordered to send all the timber, hemp, anchors, masts, &c., to France. The relations of the British sailors at sea, sent to prison till the ships are brought into port, and placed at the disposal of the French. Detachments dispatched to the different Counties to disarm the people.

The Island ordered to be divided into departments, and military divisions – the name of London to be changed for Bona-part-opolis– and the appellation of the country to be altered from Great Britain, to that of La France insulaire– Edinburgh to take the name of Lucien ville– Dublin, that of Massen-opolis.

BRITONS! can this be endured? – Shall we suffer ourselves thus to be parcelled off? – I hear you one and all say, No! No! No! – To your Tents, O Israel! – for BRITONS NEVER WILL BE SLAVES.

* * * * *

Pidcock’s Grand Menagerie,

With an exact representation of

BUONAPARTE,

The little Corsican Monkey,

As he may probably appear at the above Receptacle of Foreign Curiosities, on, or before, Christmas 1803

Ladies and Gemmen!

This surprising Animal was taken by Admiral John Bull, of the True Briton, one of his Majesty’s principal Line of Battle Ships. He possesses the Cunning of the Fox, the Rapacity of the Wolf, the bloodthirsty Nater of the Hyena, the tender Feelings of the Crocodile, and the Obstinacy of an Ass. He has rambled over several parts of the world, where he played a number of wicked and ridiculous Tricks, particularly in Egypt; there he had like to have been nabbed by Sir Sidney Smith, but contrived to steal away to France, where, after a Time, exerting all the bad Qualities he possesses, he so far got the better of his own species as to reign King Paramount over Thirty Millions of poor deceived Monkeys. ‘Come, come, Jacko; don’t look Melancholy, you shall have your Gruel with a Crust in it presently.’ Ladies and Gemmen, if I was to quit him an Instant, he would play a thousand figaries; break all your Crockery, drink up your Wine, play the Devil and Doctor Faustus with your Wives and Darters; eat your Provisions, steal your Goods and Chattels, and commit more Mischief here, than he did in Egypt. He’s of unbounded Ambition, and, by some fortunate Strokes of good Luck, more than by his Abilities, proved very successful in his Deceptions; but this Luck was not to last for ever. Puf’t up, as full as a blown bladder, with conceit, he thought he coud conquer the four Quarters of the Globe: when, sailing with a party of large Baboons, who were called his body Guard, he stole, one dark Night, out of Boulogne Harbour, to make an attack, and seize the Island of Great Britain; where he assured his Companions of immense Wealth by their Plunders. But Admiral BULL coming up with him by break of day, when he was half Seas over, gave them a Broad Side, and woud have sunk them outright; but seeing the Crew were nothing but a Collection of miserable, deluded, poor, Brutes, he turned them adrift, and only seized their Leader to shew him as a Curiosity.⁸³

A suggestion was made that two could play at the game of Invasion, and ‘John Bull landed in France’ is a caricature by West (August 29, 1803). He is in cavalry uniform, and, mounted on his lion, is pursuing the French troops, who, bestriding frogs, are in full flight. The terrible old man roars out, ‘D – m me, but I’ll put your Cavalry to the hop – I only wish I could find out your Commander.’ But Boney is looking out of a cottage chimney, remarking, ‘Mercy on me, what a terrible fellow. I think I am tolerably safe here!’

West (August, 1803) describes the ‘Three plagues of Europe.’ Bonaparte figures as ‘The Turberlent Mr. Fightall’; Pitt as ‘The Honourable Mr. Taxall’; and the Devil as ‘The Worshipful Mr. Takeall.’

CHAPTER XXXV

INVASION SQUIBS AND CARICATURES, continued

Song

THE INVASION

 
Come listen every Lord and Lady,
‘Squire, Gentleman, and Statesman,
I’ve got a little Song to sing,
About a very great Man!
And, if the Name of Bonaparte
Should mingle in my Story,
’Tis with all due submission
T’ his Honour’s Worship’s Glory.
Bow, wow, wow, &c.
 
 
The kindness of this philanthropic
Gentleman extending,
From Shore to Shore, Colossus like,
Their grievances amending,
To Britain would reach, if he could,
From fancied Ills to save ye;
But tho’ he likes us vastly well,
He does not like our Navy!
Bow, wow, wow, &c.
 
 
With Egypt, once, he fell in Love,
Because it was the high Road,
To India, for himself and friends
To travel by a nigh Road;
And after making mighty Fuss,
And fighting Day and Night there,
’Twas vastly ungenteel of us,
Who would not let him stay there.
Bow, wow, wow, &c.
 
 
A Nobleman was sent to him,
For Negotiation able,
And Bonaparte kindly set
Him down at his own Table,
And in a Story, two Hours long,
The Gentleman was heard in,
Whilst our Ambassador declar’d
He could not get a word in.
Bow, wow, wow, &c.
 
 
With Belles and Beaux the drawing-room
One morning it was quite full,
And Bona, like a Bantam cock,
Came crowing rather spiteful;
He then began to huff and bluff,
To show that War his Trade is;
He scolded all the Englishmen,
And frighten’d all the Ladies!!!
Bow, wow, wow, &c.
 
 
From Malta, next, he took his Text,
My Lord look’d rather blue on ’t;
For every Trick the Consul had,
My Lord had one worth two on ’t;
Why, Gen’ral, says he, ’Sdeath and Fire,
Unless you cease these Capers,
They’ll publish every word you say
In all the English Papers.
Bow, wow, wow, &c.
 
 
My Lord, says he, you needs must see,
I pity British Blindness,
And wish to open all your Eyes,
Out of pure Love and Kindness,
To make a generous People free,
My Legions shall pell mell come,
What think you then? – Why, Sir, I think
They’d be more free than welcome.
Bow, wow, wow, &c.
 
 
When I come o’er, I’ll make all Britons
Live in perfect bliss, Sir,
I’m sure they will receive me just
As kindly as the Swiss, Sir.
The Odds an hundred are to one
I fail, tho’ Fortune’s Minion.
Says our Ambassador to him,
I’m quite of your opinion.
Bow, wow, wow, &c.
 
 
My Lord, says he, I’ll take the Field.
You’d better take the Ocean.
My plans are deep. —Why, yes, they’ll reach
The Bottom, I’ve a Notion.
What would the English think to see
Me ’twixt Boulogne and Dover?
Why, General, they’d surely think
Your Worship half seas over!
Bow, wow, wow, &c.
 
 
Your Government I’ll tame, says he,
Since War you are so fond on;
I’ve got my will in Paris here,
And wish the same in London;
I’ll rule your great John Bull! says he,
I have him in the Ring, Sir. —
Says John, I’ll not be rul’d by you,
Nor any such a Thing, Sir.
Bow, wow, wow, &c.
 
 
Then bring my Flag, invincible,
A Scot took it long ago, Sir.
For now I think, your ships I’ll sink,
And never strike a Blow, Sir,
A clever Man has found a plan,
A plan he’s surely right in,
For if you beat the British Fleet,
It must not be at Fighting.
Bow, wow, wow, &c.
 
 
Quite frantic now, he vows Revenge,
The Moment that he’s landed,
And proudly boasts, we cannot hope
To fight him single handed.
What, single handed, we can do,
His troops shall know full well soon;
For him, he learn’d it long ago,
From single handed Nelson.
Bow, wow, wow, &c.
 
 
Now, since their Minds are quite made up,
Let me on this Occasion,
Make one request to Neptune: Should
They dream of an Invasion;
To bring them safely out of Port,
On gentle Billows guide them,
To where a set of British Boys
May anchor close beside them.
Bow, wow, wow, &c.
 

Reference is made to Napoleon’s attempts to stir up sedition in Ireland in ‘An attempt on the Potatoe bag,’ by some artist unknown (August 1803). It shows an Irishman trudging along towards Dublin, having on his back a huge sack of potatos, which Napoleon is slitting, allowing the potatos to escape. Says Bonaparte: ‘I say, Paddy, Give up the bag quietly, and you shall have this Purse of Gold.’ But Paddy replies: ‘I see what you are at, you sly Teaf of the World; you may cut out a few of the Potatoes that are rotten at the core – but, by St. Patrick, you’ll never get the whole bag – so you may pocket your Cash, and march home and be D – d.’

Dean Swift’s ‘Gulliver’ is very frequently used as a motif for caricature, and Charles etched (August 1803) ‘Gulliver and his Guide, or a Check String to the Corsican.’ King George, as King of Brobdingnag, is seated in a gallery, looking through the invariable glass at Gulliver (Napoleon), who is climbing a flight of steps to get at him; but he has a rope round his neck, which is held by a sailor armed with a stout oak cudgel. Says the King: ‘Ay, what! what! Does the little Gulliver want my C *** n! Let him come, and he will soon find how ’tis protected. Hearts of oak are our ships, Jolly tars are our men, &c. &c.’ Napoleon, throttled by the rope, exclaims: ‘If these fellows did not keep such a tight hand over me, I would soon try how that Ornament would fit my head.’ Whilst the sailor, who has him in hand and checks his advance, calls out: ‘Avast there, my little fellow; for, D – n my Timbers, if I don’t take you Aback before you reach the end of your Intended travels. So pull away, pull away, I say, for the tight little bit of land in the Ocean.’

There is a charming libel on Napoleon in a periodical publication, called ‘Ring the Alarum Bell,’ No. 3, August 27, 1803 (I believe it only reached four numbers), the heading of which is, ‘Atrocities of Brutus Napoleone Ali Buonaparté, who now pretends to be at war for restoring the Knights of Malta, and who told the Egyptians’ (July 1798), ‘that he was a true Mussulman, and had been to Malta, on purpose to drive from thence those Christian Infidels, the Knights!!!’

After a most scurrilous and incorrect version of his life, this precious paper gives us a thrilling account of ‘The Corsican’s Drowning his own wounded Soldiers, and his Thievery.

‘During the early engagements at Mantua with General Wurmsur, the hospital for the French who were wounded was at Como. Some officers, who are ready to swear to the truth of their assertion, passing through this town in the month of April 1800, were informed by the inhabitants that one morning they beheld, with unspeakable horror, the dead bodies of a number of French soldiers floating upon the surface of the lake, whom this infamous assassin, Buonaparté, had ordered to be cast into it on the preceding night. Every one of these unfortunate wretches were soldiers who had suffered amputation of some member or other! This monster caused, at the same time, not only the dead, but even the sick, in the hospitals to be thrown pell-mell into a ditch at Salo, on the Lake of Guarda. It is a fact, well-known in Upper Italy, that the Curate of Salo died with grief at the sight of this horrible transaction.

‘The pecuniary robberies of the Corsican are innumerable. At Leghorn he caused a servant of the Grand Duke to bring him all the plate belonging to that Prince, and kept himself an inventory, in order to examine whether any article was missing. At Pisa a British nobleman (the Marquis of D – ) was robbed of his carriage, and other effects, by a party of French Hussars. Buonaparte appropriated the carriage to himself, and afterwards made use of it at Milan. France was then in a state of profound peace with the Grand Duke. At Milan, Buonaparte imprisoned the Nobles, and, in order to procure their release, their consorts brought their diamonds to the wife of the Usurper.’

The following might well go as companion to ‘Pidcock’s Menagerie’: —

Most Wonderful

WONDER OF WONDERS

Just arrived, at Mr. Bull’s Menagerie, in British Lane, the most renowned and sagacious Man Tiger, or Ourang Outang called

NAPOLEON BUONAPARTE;

He has been exhibited through the greatest Part of Europe, particularly in Holland, Switzerland, and Italy, and lately in Egypt – He has a wonderful faculty of Speech, and undertakes to reason with the most learned Doctors in Law, Divinity, and Physic – He proves, incontrovertibly, that the strongest POISONS are the most Sovereign Remedies for Wounds of all kinds; and by a Dose or two, made up in his own Way, he cures his Patients of all their Ills by the Gross – He Picks the Pockets of the Company, and by a Rope,⁸⁴ suspended near a Lantern, shews them, as clear as Day, that they are all richer than before – If any Man in the Room has empty Pockets, or an empty Stomach, by taking a Dose or two of his Powder of Hemp, he finds them on a sudden full of Guineas, and has no longer a Craving for Food; If he is rich, he gets rid of his tædium vitæ; and, if he is over-gorged, finds a perfect Cure for his Indigestion. – He proves, by unanswerable Arguments, that Soupe Maigre, and Frogs, are a much more wholesome food than Beef and Pudding– and that it would be better for Old England, if her Inhabitants were all Monkeys and Tigers as, in times of Scarcity, one half of the Nation might devour the other half. – He strips the Company of their Cloaths, and when they are stark naked, presents a Paper on the Point of a Bayonet, by reading which they are all presently convinced that it is very pleasant to be in a state of Nature. – By a kind of hocus-pocus Trick, he breathes on a Crown, and it changes suddenly into a Guillotine. – He deceives the eye most dexterously; one Moment he is in the Garb of the Mufti: the next of a Jew, and the next Moment you see him the Pope. – He imitates all Sounds; bleats like a Lamb; roars like a Tiger; cries like a Crocodile; and brays most inimitably like an Ass.

He used also to perform some wonderful Tricks with Gunpowder; but he was very sick in passing the Channel, and has shewn great aversion to them ever since.

Admittance, One Shilling and Sixpence

N.B. If any Gentleman of the Corps Diplomatique should wish to see his Ourang Outang, Mr. Bull begs a Line or two first; as on such Occasions, he finds it necessary to bleed him, or give him a Dose or two of cooling Physic, being apt to fly at them, if they appear without such preparation.

‘John Bull and the Alarmist’ is as well drawn as any of Gillray’s caricatures (September 1, 1803). Sheridan, in the character of a bill-sticker, having under his arm a sheaf of ‘Loyal Bills, Sherry Andrew’s Address, Playbills,’ &c., and, with a bonnet rouge peeping out of his pocket, is telling John Bull the two last lines of the first verse of the subjoined song.

The old boy stands resolutely before the throne, which he is ready to defend with his huge oak cudgel carved with a bulldog’s head, and, whilst nourishing himself on a tankard of ale, tells his informant his opinion of his intelligence in the words of the second verse: —

 
John Bull as he sat in his old Easy Chair,
An Alarmist came to him, and said in his Ear,
‘A Corsican Thief has just slipt from his quarters,
And is coming to Ravish your Wives and your Daughters!’
 
 
‘Let him come, and be D – d!’ thus roar’d out John Bull,
‘With my Crab-stick assured I will fracture his Scull,
Or I’ll squeeze ye vile reptile twixt my Finger and Thumb,
Make him stink like a Bug, if he dares to presume.’
 
 
‘They say a full Thousand of Flat bottomed Boats,
Each a Hundred and Fifty have, Warriors of Note;
All fully determin’d to feast on your Lands,
So I fear you will find full enough on your hands.’
 
 
John smiling arose, upright as a post,
‘I’ve a Million of Friends bravely guarding my Coast,
And my old Ally, Neptune, will give them a dowsing,
And prevent the mean rascals to come here a lousing.’
 

I know not from what source the statistics relative to the strength of the French flotilla, contained in the subjoined broadsheet, are taken. It purports to be an extract from a French letter: —

CITIZENS OF ENGLAND

YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT

BONAPARTE

WILL NOT ATTEMPT

Invasion:

Read the following detailed Account of his Preparations, and ask yourselves whether those who tell you so, are your Friends or your Enemies.

‘The Alertness of our People, employed in the several Yards along the Coasts, never had a parallel. I reckon 11,000 Ship-Carpenters, and their necessary Assistants, Labourers, &c., employed here, and at Calais, Dunkirk, and Ostend, besides those at Work on the Boats preparing at Ghent, Bruges, and Antwerp.

‘At Boulogne, we have 36 Gun Boats ready, each carrying three heavy Pieces of Ordnance, Two fore, and One aft; besides 152 of what are called Flat Bottomed Boats; but they are now generally rounded below, and keeled. In three Weeks Time, we expect to have as many more in a State of perfect Readiness.

‘At Calais, several of the Floating Batteries, that opposed Lord Nelson, when he attacked Boulogne, are now fitting up, and about seventy boats that will carry 150 Men each.

‘At Dunkirk, and the adjacent Canals, there are 47 Gun boats ready, with remarkable heavy Ordnance; and not less than 220 Boats for carrying men. They count upon being able to send 400 of these vessels (great and small) to Sea, in less than Three Weeks.

‘At Ostend, the Gun Boats, Floating Batteries, and Vessels for carrying Soldiers, that are now, and will be, completed during the present month, amount to 487. They work here during the Whole of the Moonlight nights.

‘I cannot, at present, exactly ascertain what Number of Men are employed, at Bruges and Ghent; but they are extremely numerous. Such is the case at Antwerp.’

But not one of these vessels dared shew her nose out of harbour, for every French port in the Channel was blockaded by English men-of-war, of which there were some five hundred, of different sizes, afloat. Sometimes this blockading business got tiresome, and it was relieved by an occasional landing, on which occasions mischief to the French, in some shape or other, was always included in the programme; or a vessel would be cut out, or a few shells would be thrown into a town such as Dieppe or Havre – anything to vary the monotony. At home they were bragging and blustering of what they would do; afloat they were doing, and we cannot tell from what fate their action saved us.

Woodward drew an amusing sketch of ‘John Bull shewing the Corsican monkey’ (September 3, 1803), who is represented as seated on a Russian bear, which is muzzled and led by John Bull, who thus expatiates on his charge to the delighted audience: ‘My friends and neighbours, this is no monkey of the common order; he is a very cholerick little gentleman, I assure you. I had a vast deal of trouble to bring him to any kind of obedience – he is very fond of playing with globes and scepters – so you may perceive, I let him have one of each made of Gingerbread – in order to amuse him in a strange country.’

A not very witty picture, ‘Buonaparte on his Ass,’ by an unknown artist (September 14, 1803), represents Bonaparte on a donkey, which has got itself in a terrible mess through trampling on Italy, Switzerland, Holland, and Hanover, and is endeavouring to reach Malta, which, however, is protected by the British Lion. Napoleon opines that, ‘This d – d ass gets so entangled and unruly, I’m afraid I shall never be able to reach Malta.’

 
O’er countrys I’ll trample, where threats may prevail,
But must let those alone where they will not avail,
For on looking around me to find where to prance,
To touch Malta, might be destruction to France.
 

Woodward drew (September 16, 1803) ‘The Corsican Macheath,’ with Napoleon singing: —

 
Which way shall I turn me?
How can I decide
The Prospects before me?
I long for to stride.
But ’tis this way – or that way,
Or which way I will,
John Bull at his Post,
Is prepared with a Pill.