The light of my future

«No one said I’d be easy,» I breathed back tiredly.

«I did not hope for it. Otherwise it would not be you. You do not have my blood, but there is a lot of everything that you adopted from me. Persistence. Purposefulness. Judgment,» father stated proudly.

«So you only wanted to talk about that?» I asked impatiently, not sharing his philosophical attitude.

«Decided to give you back your phone,» he replied and took my smartphone out of the inside pocket of his jacket, «Alex has been trying to reach you all day. I said you left the phone with me. He asked me to call him. Are you dating him?» he suddenly asked, while carefully watching my reaction to his question.

«No,» I chuckled and shook my head, «this is the son of my mother’s friend. You know yourself. He lives in America.»

«Distance is not a problem. It dissolves under the influence of feelings. Are you sure that there is nothing between you? Perhaps you want to move to America because of him?» His father asked in a calm but suspicious tone.

«The only person I want to go for is myself. There is no need to look for any catch. I just want to follow my dream. Like you once followed your dream. Like my mother, who still tries find your own «I.»

«A dream,» his father chuckled sadly, «is such an abstract concept that it is not in our minds, but the thought of it makes us move forward, forgetting about what everything was started for from the very beginning. You have a goal. This is commendable. But consider if it’s worth it. And if this is really your dream,» he smiled and reached across the table to pat my hand, «Mom said hello to you. She promised to be back soon.»

«Uh-huh,» I said indifferently and got to my feet, then went to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of cold coffee, which I didn’t really like.

«Today I heard interesting rumors,» his father said with a heavy sigh, «for the first time since Sung Joon has been working at our agency, he appeared in the dining room with his assistant. And the most interesting thing was that he shared his lunch with her.»

«That came as a surprise to me too,» I replied as if I was trying to justify my indecent behavior, «Song Joon refused to eat all the time, and today he decided to go there himself.

«Well, it’s commendable that you’ve become friends, but don’t let it get out of hand. Take control of yourself, your feelings, emotions, and Sung Joon’s mind. You might make a good team after all.»

«Thanks for the advice and guidance. I have to go. Tomorrow morning, we have a shoot for a youth clothing brand,» I breathed tiredly, drained the contents of the bottle and trudged to my room, where after forty minutes of explaining and retelling the events of my life to Alex, I was able to fall into a deep sleep.

CHAPTER 5

«The key to your motorcycle, and the key to your apartment. You will only pay for utilities. Do not break furniture, do not throw parties at night. Be a good girl. Eat on time, and… do not forget about us,» my father instructed me.

«You sound like I’m leaving for the other side of town. I’ll be living just a few floors below,» I laughed, looking at the code numbers for my new apartment, written in my father’s even handwriting on a small piece of paper, «thank you for keeping your promise! "I kissed him on the cheek, took the key to my «horse» from the table and hurried to the parking lot, «I’ll transfer my things to a new apartment in the evening!» I called out before leaving my parents’ apartment.

For the first time in several endless working weeks, I felt the currents of the wind with my skin and how speed is subject to me. My father said that my «iron horse» had passed technical care and now he thanked for it with his smooth roar of the engine and smooth movement on busy city roads.

When I pulled into the agency’s underground parking lot, I occupied a vacant spot, and while taking off my helmet, I noticed Sung Joon rapidly approaching me, just after leaving his minibus.

«What it is?» He asked furiously, kicking the front wheel of my vehicle.

«This is my iron horse,» I answered without hiding my pride.

«You do realize it’s dangerous, don’t you?» he asked, shocked by his discovery.

«I try not to think about it. And I don’t advise you. It’s also dangerous to breathe nowadays, so my hobby is no different from your daily habits. In general, you don’t need to worry. If something happens to me, without an assistant they won’t leave you,» I smiled, sliding off my iron friend.

«How can you talk about it so easily?» He asked indignantly.

«Relax you!» I laughed as I headed for the elevator, «just a month ago you didn’t even want to look at me, and now you’re worried about my safety. Besides, isn’t it me who tastes food for you?» I continued to laugh, «and never complained about it. I almost forgot! We can start training. Today I’m moving into a separate apartment,» I announced smugly, feeling that I was on the threshold of my new life.

«I hope you don’t stop coming to work on time now. What area are you moving to?» As if casually, he asked.

«My new neighborhood is closer than you think,» I chuckled, «I’ll live a floor lower than you live.»

Sung Joon raised his eyebrows in surprise and thought for a moment.

«Then you don’t have to ride that motorcycle and put your life in danger?» He asked hopefully.

«You should be so worried about your little one, not about me. He drives even faster than me,» I chuckled.

«He rode a motorcycle? Where did you see him?» He shook his head in annoyance, and I realized that I created a problem for Cho Hee in the face of his older brother, «I have a job in the studio right now. I need to finish the song, so you can hang around the office for a couple of hours. If I need anything, then I’ll let you know,» he suddenly changed the subject, arriving in thought.

«Okay,» I agreed and exited the elevator on the floor where Sung Joon’s manager’s office was. Even though it was early morning now, I’m sure he was already here.

«Oh, Min Hee! Come on in. I was just compiling a list of addresses that Sung Joon received gifts from last month,» Min Hyuk smiled as if he was sincerely glad to see me.

I looked around and found hundreds of boxes, letters and gift bags that filled his office.

«Wow! Is this all from fans?» I asked admiringly as I sat down on the sofa, where I could barely find an empty seat.

«These are just the ones that have come down to us. In general, we try to accept everything and respond to fan letters fairly quickly. Feedback is important. Both for us and for the people who send all these gifts,» Min Hyuk breathed out and threw on me a sympathetic look. «Today, Sung Joon will be at the agency all day, so your job for the day will be sorting out the letters and sorting out the presents. You need to do it in two days at most, as Sung Joon has to sign letters that will then be sent to his fans. But this will be taken care of by the deportation of public relations. In addition, select ten letters that Sung Joon will personally answer. Arrange the letters by topic: thanks, requests, wishes, and so on.»

«Okay,» I replied and tried to smile, not imagining how I could deal with this on my own. I would rather be running errands for Sung Joon.

For a month of working with Sung Joon, we were able to find a common language and coexist peacefully without violating each other’s personal space. Sung Joon is a complex, I would say closed person who has certain characteristics. For all the time we did not discuss anything other than work, but the more I was in his environment, the more I was imbued with sympathy for him and understood why he was stingy with the manifestation of emotions. With his pace of life, it’s hard to remain polite and courteous, but he somehow manages to do not only this, but also maintain energy and generate ideas.

I decided to start with the most difficult, so I started with paper letters, of which there were hundreds. Written by both girls and boys of all ages. They mostly wrote about how they love and admire Sung Joon. They ask him not to stop there. In the initial stages, I came across a couple of letters in which the fans threatened to hurt themselves if they found out that Sung Joon was in a relationship, and wrote that he was their life and they would not let him love anyone other than them. The tone of the letters was so persuasive that it took me a moment to digest what I read. I pushed them aside to show Min Hyuk. I’m sure the agency should respond to this in some way.

I grabbed a bottle of water and a biscuit dessert from the vending machine, then went up to the roof of the building, feeling a little tired from having plunged into Sung Joon’s life. He was responsible for all the people who called themselves his fans. And I could hardly imagine how much strength he needed for this.

Watching the noisy city from above, I thought about the fact that success is an unbearable burden for a person, and they need to share with others so as not to go crazy and drown in the madness that is happening around. I felt really sorry for Sung Joon and hoped that he could find a source of energy because I would have to force him to stay at the agency.

Back in the manager’s office, I continued sorting the letters. At some point, someone sat down on the sofa next to me and, looking up, I found Sung Joon in front of me.

«Hey!» He waved his hand at me and smiled tiredly. «I hope you haven’t been here all day. Looks like you did. Aren’t you going home?» He chuckled, leaning forward slightly to look at the contents of one of the stacks of letters, while I tried to discreetly push the stack of threatening letters under the table.

«No. I want to finish today with at least these letters from fans.» I smiled tiredly and glanced around the office, as if showing that I still have a lot of work to do. «What are you doing with all these gifts?»

«I know that toys are sent to shelters, hospitals and other institutions. Something goes to the museum, which is located on the first floor of the agency, and something is sorted out by the employees themselves.»

«You don’t take anything for yourself?» I asked surprised.

«No,» he answered quickly, and pretended that all his attention was focused on the letter in his hands. «I look at the list of gifts and thank the fans on social media, noting the most interesting and unusual ones.»

«Interesting system,» I breathed out, feeling dryness in my eyes.

«I don’t have any system. I just don’t like gifts,» he stated.

«It’s usually the other way around. People love gifts.»

«Who said I’m an ordinary person?» Through weak laughter he asked.

«I didn’t even think about it,» I laughed, but then I looked at him, deciding that I should share my thoughts with him. «On the contrary, every day I get more and more confused about who you are, what you are, and most importantly, until today I could not understand why you work so hard.»

«And what prompted you to think like that?» He asked, looking at me point-blank with genuine interest in his eyes.

«In all these letters…» I glanced at the piles of sorted envelopes, "…sincere words of gratitude and love for you and an expression of admiration. You give hope, heal souls and help people overcome difficulties, surviving in endless problems. Your departure from agencies will be a personal tragedy for many. But at the same time, I realized how hard it is for you. You bear the burden of responsibility for all these people.»

«If that’s how you tried to convince me to renew the contract, then it turned out exactly the opposite for you,» he laughed, leaning back against the arm of the chair. «Why did they make you do this? Normally, the PR department handles sorting.»

«I’m not complaining. It was an interesting experience. Only my back was a little stiff,» I answered, unable to suppress a yawn, and straightened my back, hoping that my fatigue would go away.

«Leave everything and let’s go home,» Sung Joon commanded. «Looks like you were going to move into a new apartment today.»

«I have to finish so I don’t have to come back here tomorrow. Minhyuk gave me two days for everything.»

«He went on a business trip with your father. They won’t be back until Wednesday evening. Tomorrow I have a free afternoon, so I can help you,» Sung Joon promised and covered his mouth with his hand to cover his yawning.

«Why are you so friendly?» I asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

«I never touched on this part of the work. Therefore, I will help you with pleasure, but… on the condition that you go home with us, and not on your own, so to speak, transport.» Curving his face in a grimace of disgust, he put forward his condition, to which I rose to my feet and stretched blissfully.

«I don’t see any reason to refuse,» I smiled weakly and followed Sung Joon to the door, and then remembered that I had left my things on one of the nightstands, so I returned and suddenly heard something falling, and when I turned around in fright, found Sung Joon lying unconscious on the floor.

«Song Joon!» Frightened, I ran towards him. «Song Joon!» I called, but he did not react at all and at the same time looked so pale that I doubted whether he was alive.

I called our agency’s duty doctor and tried my best to bring Sung Joon back to his senses. At the moment when the male doctor rushed into the office, I was sitting on the floor and begged Sung Joon to regain consciousness.

The doctor, using some liquid from a small bottle, brought Sung Joon back to consciousness, and I breathed a sigh of relief, feeling tears flow down my cheeks.

«The car is already waiting. Can you get there? Are you strong enough?» The doctor addressed him.

«Uh-huh…» Sung Joon breathed out as he struggled to his feet.

I held him by the elbow and helped him finally get into a stable position, after which I led him to the elevator, which took us down to the underground parking.

«Hold on to me,» I suggested, still holding on to his elbow. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I could feel how weak he was right now.

Not without difficulty, we got to the car, where the door of the minibus was already open for us. I helped Sung Joon into the seat and, despite his feeble attempts to protest, buckled him in with my seat belt, then took my usual seat, keeping my charge in sight.

«Stop staring at me. Burn a hole in me.» He spoke to me in a weak voice.

«Do you want water?» I asked and fussily began to search in my bag for a bottle of water that had been started. I opened the bottle and handed it to Sung Joon. He accepted the bottle and inspected its contents warily, and I could tell from his expression that he was dissatisfied with the fact that they had already drunk from it. «Seriously? Even in this situation, are you squeamish?»

«Only you drank it?» He asked warily.

«Yes, just me. I opened it in the evening and took a couple of sips. I bought it from the machine. Jin-young, do you have any disposable cups?» I turned to the driver, frantically trying to find a way out of this situation.

«Yes, I’ll give it to you now,» the young man began to rustle and after a moment handed me several glasses, while we stopped at a traffic light.

I thanked him, then poured water into glasses, one of which I handed to Sung Joon, and the other I kept for myself and hurried to drain it. Sung Joon waited until I had a drink, after which he himself began to drink water in careful sips.

«How do you feel?» After a long silence, I asked.

«It’s better. You have nothing to worry about. It’s normal.» He exhaled wearily.

«We arrived.» Jin-young announced as he braked smoothly in front of the hospital building.

I got to my feet, after which I helped Sung Joon get out of the car and realized that we had stopped not at the main entrance, but at the service one, where they were already waiting for us. The doctors acted so harmoniously, as if this was not the first time, in addition, Sung Joon was absolutely calm.

Me and Jin-young were left waiting in the room reserved for Sung Joon while he himself was being examined.

«We need to tell the manager,» I reasoned out loud, looking out the window at the city shining with various lights, after which I took my work phone and started typing a message to Min Hyuk, when suddenly someone snatched my smartphone from me.

«No need to tell anyone!» Sung Joon told me, after which he went to the hospital bed and carefully lay down on it.

«I have to report that…»

«Min Hee, just go home. Jin-young, take her home.» Sung Joon spoke indistinctly as if he had no strength left at all.

«No. I’m not going. I’ll stay with you,» I protested and left the room to talk to the doctor, who was just on his way to Sung Joon’s. After greeting him, I asked him to give me a short conclusion regarding Sung Joon’s condition.

I listened attentively to the doctor and felt how with every word he said I was getting more and more angry, and when I received all the information, the doctor and I entered Sung Joon’s room, who was lying with his eyes fixed on the ceiling.

«Mr. Sung Joon,» the doctor addressed him and my ward carefully sat down, «now you will be put on a drip.» After these words, a nurse suddenly appeared, hiding her eyes from our superstar, as if on automatic mode, stuck a needle into a vein on his arm and hurried away. «As soon as the solution is over, you can go home.»

«Thank you,» Sung Joon thanked, after which he returned his head to the small pillow.

I saw the doctor off and went back to the room to sit in the leather chair from which I could look at Sung Joon.

He lifted his head slightly, obviously noticing my gaze.

«Something you want to say?» He exhaled wearily.

«I’m struggling to contain my anger and rage, realizing that now there will be no sense from the fact that I will tell you everything I think.» I answered, nervously tapping my foot on the floor surface.

«And what do you think?» He asked, looking at me point-blank with a look full of sincere interest.

«I’m angry. You lied to me. Yesterday you had a busy day, and you didn’t eat anything at lunch, but only looked at me and said that you were fed on the set. Today you lied when you said that you had lunch. So you Haven’t eaten anything for two days? I summed it up in amazement.

He took a deep, slow breath and nodded his head, confirming my suspicions.

«It’s not the first time, so don’t worry about it. And don’t think that you’re in any way to blame.» He answered in a muffled and still weak voice.

«At a moment like this, you still think about me,» I chuckled sadly, feeling tired and regretting that Sung Joon had to go through this.

Our eyes met again, and I suddenly realized that I felt sympathy for this amazing young man who is trying his best to hide his good heart behind a wounded soul. The sadness in his eyes made my heart clench painfully. And it seems that right now I’m starting to get to know the real Sung Joon. And I was afraid that he was hiding his wounds, the depth of which, it seemed, could not be measured.

I knew I should look away, but I couldn’t control myself until I got a text from Alex on my phone. I blinked in confusion and took out my personal smartphone from the pocket of my denim jacket. A friend wrote that he was preparing a surprise for me, and very soon I will hear from him about this. I couldn’t help but smile and quickly typed out a reply saying that I was looking forward to hearing from him about it.

«Did something good happen?» Sung Joon suggested in a suspicious tone.

«Nothing special. Best friend made himself known,» I replied, returning the phone to its place.

«Are you close to him?» He asked, covering his eyes.

«We have been friends for almost twenty years. My mother and I lived in his parents’ house in America when I was three.»

«And the father?» Sung Joon continued his interrogation, lying with his eyes closed.

«I don’t remember him. And I know absolutely nothing about him,» I replied, looking at my fingernails, which were about to be repainted and shaped. Due to work, I abandoned myself a little and did not care about my appearance.

«There was no desire to find him?» Sung Joon asked with sincere interest.

«There was a desire. And there is. But I can’t do it. My mother told me as a child that this topic is forbidden. There are no photographs or records about him. I don’t even know his name. Only my Russian name is Alina,» I shared my thoughts with him, and when I came to my senses, I noticed that Sung Joon was looking at me sympathetically. «I’ll call Jin-young. I’ll ask him to come back,» I said to hide my awkwardness, and then got to my feet and went to the table that was located next to Sung Joon to take my work phone from it. But Sung Joon gently grabbed my hand halfway to the smartphone.

«Don’t call him. I’m not going home today.» Sung Joon smiled weakly.

«Do you want to stay in the hospital?» I asked in surprise, stepping back a step, carefully disengaging myself from his soft grip.

«No. I just want to be somewhere, but not at home, at work or here.»

«I can’t leave you. You understand?» I asked, continuing to stare at him.

«So you’ll have to spend the night with me,» he replied in a tone that brought a blush to my cheeks.

«These are the inconveniences caused by fair skin,» Sung Joon laughed, «your embarrassment showed on your face right away. I’ll help you with the move. Let’s not disrupt plans because of a small misunderstanding,» he explained his words about this we will spend the night together.

«Because of a little misunderstanding?» I asked indignantly, «You passed out from exhaustion!»

«Just forget it. The drip is over. We can go,» he stated as he removed the needle from his vein, then got to his feet, bending his arm at the elbow.

I got my things and followed him to the reception desk.

«Do you have your bank card with you?» Sung Joon turned to me, and I blinked in confusion, after which I began to look for a wallet in my bag. And after finding a map in it, I handed it to Sung Joon. A moment later, I received a notification about the withdrawal of funds.

«What? Two and a half million won?» I asked shocked.

«I’ll get everything back. I don’t want the company card to glow here. Because Min Hyuk will get a notification right away.»

«We must inform him of what happened…»

«We don’t owe anything to anyone,» Sung Joon interrupted me irritably in the middle of a sentence, adjusting the medical mask on his face. «Let’s go. We need to get to your new house,» he announced and handed me the map, put on the hood of his sweatshirt and led us towards the service exit, where, surprisingly, Jin-young was waiting for us.

«Song Joon!» He yelled out happily as he left the driver’s seat to open the door for us. «I didn’t leave because I found out they were going to let you go home.»

«Good. You did well,» Sung Joon praised him and, on the way to his seat, patted his assistant on the shoulder, «Let’s go home,» Sung Joon announced to Jin-young, but at the same time he was staring at me point-blank.

This never-ending day will not soon come to an end, but concern for Sung Joon overcame my fatigue and anger.