Then I gave that Indian girl a link to my page, but she was not interested in Facebook.
I do not remember exactly what happened next, whether it was some strange misunderstanding due to our not-so-good knowledge of English, or something else happened, but I wrote the Indian girl a final message where I wrote about my thoughts regarding the arising misunderstanding. The impression from her messages was that she wanted to be my girlfriend, but because of the great distances and financial situation this was impossible, even if this impression turned out to be true. I wrote her about this.
I think that in any case I was thinking of deleting my page on Myspace, since there was nothing on that former social network that would keep me there except for that girl. After my message I went to her page where it became more than clear to me that she was telling everything to her other beautiful friend, who wrote a comment about me, that he could not believe that such people could exist at all… So that this book does not get age rating of 18+ I cannot describe what I wanted to do with him if the anonymity of the Internet did not prevent me from finding him… I deleted my page, but the effect was felt for a long time… too long…
On May 24, 2010, I published a note in VK about my then experience with Thiaoouba and why I knew that that book was true and, therefore, the information written in it was very important. Given the lack of comments and one single “like” from an unknown person to this day, we can safely say that almost no one cared. To be precise, there was one comment from a long-time childhood friend asking me to let him “smoke the thing” too, but for some reason that comment is no longer under my note. In any case, my friend did not read everything carefully, or did not take the topic seriously (or maybe he just did not believe me), since we already have in our body everything necessary for seeing Aura, telekinesis, astral projection, etc., and therefore, we do not need to go to any special place and “smoke” something there to get this natural experience. In the end, I was able to learn to see Auras in a tiny room full of air conditioning noise! As for the use of substances, Thiaooubians clearly stated that hallucinogenic drugs remove our Astral body into another sphere in which it should not be. There it experiences artificial sensations that completely distort the judgment of a person. The Astral body is saturated with false data, but its recovery can take more than one life – therefore, hallucinogenic drugs should be avoided at all costs (provided you do not harm anyone in the process).
There was a time when I woke up in the middle of the night to hear that same friend telling someone under my window bad things about me. It was not pleasant, but I continued to sleep.
In general, I then very often wrote something on my page and tried to communicate with other friends of mine, both old and new. I wanted to be the same as everyone else – normal. Sometimes because of this I spent a lot of time on all kinds of nonsense just to have the illusion that I was not alone. At least, I suppose that subconsciously this was the reason.
But I had some bright times too when I tried to take a break from VK and groups. Moreover, I removed myself from those two groups many a time, but then I asked the new administrator, whom we also often talked with from the time we met in the film group, to add me back and make me admin again. This may sound strange, but I could not get rid of those two groups. I could not live in that unbearable emptiness, which formed when I removed myself from them, and therefore I returned to have some activity again and not be alone.
At the beginning of August 2010, I created a VK group dedicated to Thiaoouba Prophecy. At the very beginning, there were several dozen people in it, some of whom even wrote something and asked questions. But then everything calmed down, and in that group there was almost no activity on the part of other people until this day, March 25, 2020. Fortunately, the situation is slightly different in the group on Facebook.
About a year had passed since I experienced the influence of social networks. During that year, I was still trying to write scripts, and sometimes I was able to get out of my mind and live in a refreshing present. But I essentially did nothing, except to spend time watching something on the computer.
That fall, I had a dream in which I was told roughly the following: “If you don’t start working, we will take you in November”. Under the words “we” and “will take” I understood that Thiaooubians would free my Astral body – in other words, I would die. This may seem surprising, but after all the troubles and continuing serious problems with health and housing, I realized that I not only did not want to die, but I loved my life and would not change anything at all if I was given a chance to relive it again. Yes, I experienced so much suffering, but I also learned a lot in this life, and I treasured that knowledge and my experience with Thiaoouba! And after that moment, I began to slowly make changes in my life.
One of these changes was that for the first time I found the strength to tell my old friends and acquaintances the whole truth about myself – something that I was thinking about doing when I went to the village during the first summer after I learned the truth about stuttering, but could not. I wrote that message for several days and wrote in it about everything that was true at that moment of my life: masturbation, stuttering, withdrawal into myself, Thiaoouba – everything.
It was not easy to publish such a message, since I thought something terrible would happen. In the end, everything was quite calm. I only remember that one friend wrote a remark about my habit to “jerk off” and its sad consequence, and the creator of the groups in English, on the contrary, said that masturbation is normal and everyone masturbates. I must say that I really thought up to the point that I was almost the only one on the planet who masturbated. One of the village friends that I mentioned earlier asked me how I was doing. And the long-time school friend who hit me at the ninth-grade exams said that he understood now what was happening then. There was only one acquaintance with whom we met in the TV series group that wrote something negative either about a blowjob for five rubles, or about “cowardice” – in any case, it was the easiest removal of a person from the friend list in my life; I will only say that one needs to have a certain degree of courage, as well as knowledge, in order to tell such a truth about oneself to other people in our modern society. In general – it was exactly the same day as all the others – nothing not only did not explode anywhere, but on the contrary, those who wrote in the comments reacted with understanding, and the majority just did not give a damn.
I deleted that note after a couple of months, because I decided that everyone who needed to read it had already done so, and new people in my life did not need to know all these details about me…
In fact, even though I made then a huge step towards my release, I was still a slave to my mind, imagination, and psyche, which was the real reason for deleting that note. And so, many years later, I am writing this book, which I am going to publish for the whole world, and not for a limited number of friends…
Another change was that I was finally able to not only once and for all leave the groups of movies and TV shows in English, but also deleted everything that I uploaded there myself, since I did not want to have anything to do with piracy and copyright infringement of others of people.
Needless to say, such a course of events did not appeal to all people. The group creator, who was always friendly to me, decided to call me an “idiot” because I deleted my videos before removing me from his friends. And he was partially right, but he was mistaken in one thing – I was an idiot for having connected the year of my life with these groups, but now I know that events simply could not have developed differently… but more on that later.
Another woman removed me from her friends, saying that she considered me an interesting person. But the question arises – what had changed in my “interest-ness” if I just deleted a few hundred, maybe thousand, videos? I realized my mistake, accepted it, and tried to reduce the damage. Is self-improvement not something interesting? And in everything else, I remained almost the same person that I was at that time.
In the group itself there appeared those people who before that did not dare to swear, as I tried to keep order, and now they had a chance to express everything that they thought about me. But, fortunately, there were those people who supported me, and some of them remain in the list of my friends till this day. Someone might say that in the end I just got rid of the weeds.
All year I tried to be noticeable in VK. I think I did not want to be alone. But then came the realization that the monitor screen cannot replace the real feelings of real life. I began to visit VK less often and I was alone once again. But then I was alone all that year, I just could not see it…
It is worth saying that I also received other messages in dreams telling me to work.
I will also mention that many years later I decided to remove absolutely all pirated programs from my computer, and now I have either purchased or free programs installed.
I have long noticed that my life was periodic, and my note could be the starting point of a new period in my life. I then once again became concentrated on the real world, and began to wake up in a happy state of mind… then I realized again how easy it was to live in the present, and that it took almost no effort – it does not matter how much you are “lost” in yourself; if you have the knowledge, then you can choose to focus on reality when you want it – ideally always, unless otherwise required from you. But then this simplicity raised a question in my head that would pop up more than once in the coming years – why could not I make this simple decision before I lost my health and began to lose lots of hair because of my stupid actions? After that question self-hatred would follow, followed by thoughts about the past and what could have happened, so that those thoughts could then mix with fantasies.
Chapter 6. The Search for Self
I was glad that I found the truth about life, but along with clarifying the secrets of the Universe, other realities of my being became clear. One of them was that it became even more difficult for me to find a girlfriend, because now the girl not only had to be not against my appearance, but she also had to be at least not against my knowledge. This awareness could not but strengthen my feeling of loneliness and depression. Sometimes I thought that I did not want to ruin a potential girlfriend's life with myself.
Thao said that new generations on Earth are approaching a turning point and are undergoing a process of self-examination, and they feel even more lonely than other generations before them. She mentioned that if we want to “elevate” ourselves we need to first meditate and then concentrate. Thao said that people often confuse the two terms. I assumed then that my “meditation” on breathing and surrounding sounds was actually a concentration, and meditation was the very state when your mind is relaxed and focused on nothing – you are simply here and now – a state of consciousness similar to that which I experienced that morning when I saw Auras.
The knowledge about reincarnation also had a temporary negative effect on the desire to look for a girlfriend, because for some time I could not get rid of the thought – what if I found a girl who was a guy in a past life, or maybe even my parent in another life? When watching adult videos on the Internet, I also could not help but think that all these girls could have been males in their past lives. I also remembered Universal Law about mistakes and realized that so many porn actresses would be punished for their decisions in the future by it. Perhaps they will feel the effects of the porn industry on themselves in this life, and maybe one of their next lives will pass in loneliness, when no one will “want” them because many people will not consider their new bodies beautiful and desirable.
As usual, even though I was beginning to understand some of the truths of life, I could not come to terms with my stupid decisions which almost confined me to bed.
I tried again to stop masturbating and watching porn, but there was one very beautiful porn actress with blonde hair who haunted me. At one time, that small-breasted Budapest beauty was one of my favorite porn actresses. Even when I finally went outside, I still could not help but think about what she was doing in her rare “hardcore” videos, or in her only “session” with two guys who, to little surprise, were pretty and with hair.
Then, walking along the boulevard, I knew that there was significantly less hair on my head. To alleviate my mental suffering, I tried to remember about my knowledge and that this is not the last life.
From time to time I thought about hermitage, but then I realized again that I did not want to be alone, however paradoxical it was, given my life situation.
Sitting at home in the Internet, I often visited the Thiaoouba Prophecy XP group on Facebook. I then shared my thoughts about some aspects of the book and offered my ideas and possible explanations of some things that were mentioned in the books, but their topic was not fully disclosed, since otherwise Thiaooubians would have hand-fed us and would have been punished for this mistake. After some time, I and another member of that group were invited to become administrators. As for me, the creator of the group and another admin wrote that they liked what I wrote and how I wrote it. I agreed. Having administrative experience behind me, I knew what to do and I was in my element.
From time to time I looked at Martian photographs taken by the rovers from the surface of the planet. I was just interested in looking at another planet, and I was not looking for anything special. Usually I enlarged the photos to the maximum to better see the stones of another planet. Soon I began to notice “stones” the outlines of which I had already seen before in other pictures. Verification confirmed this – Spirit, NASA's Mars rover, captured indisputable evidence that there was life on Mars![4]
Those objects were round with a central deepening. Troughs went to the edge of the object from the outer edge of that deepening. It was evident that the height of the resulting “ridges” decreased from the edge of the central deepening to the edge of the object. I called those objects “gears” because they reminded me of spur bevel gears.
These gears were not the only objects that in their appearance showed that they could not be “simple rocks”, as someone might say. The shapes that the objects in the above image have could not have been geologically created.
The presence of all these interesting things on the surface of Mars was not a big surprise for me, since I already knew from Thiaoouba Prophecy that there was life on Mars about 1,350 000 Earth years ago – before Mars cooled down internally.
I made a video for YouTube where I showed all these objects along with the others that I found. I do not know if the fact that I mixed all the other poorly distinguishable objects with gears in one video somehow influenced not the best ratings and comments like “these are all just rocks”. There were also those who shared my opinions. I think that because of strong criticism and attacks, I did not go to YouTube for a long time, and when I dared to do it, I saw that the video gained several thousand views, and a woman from a ufological organization wrote me a message many weeks ago asking my permission to show my video at one of the conferences in the USA. Time was gone… She also expressed her uncertainty about the music that I added to the video so that people would not be bored to watch it. Time passed and I received a notification that the video was not available for viewing in almost all countries of the world due to the presence of music in my video, for which I did not have copyright. I used the function to replace music with the one that was proposed by YouTube’s, and was free to use. Once again, people all over the world could watch the video, but after many months that “free music” suddenly became blocked along with the video. This time I could neither replace the audio, nor download my video to edit it and reupload. I had to remove it. I thought to make that video again, without making my old mistakes, but I was constantly busy with something else…
But that video with the new music was still preserved on my VK page, where I added it on April 1, 2010. It is available at this link: https://vk.com/video52833835_141786170. It is worth saying that having lived more than ten years since then, I would do and write some things somewhat differently now.
After finding those gears, I notified one of the researchers of the Martian “anomalies” regarding my discovery. I often read his website, not always agreeing with his conclusions, but it seemed to me that he would definitely decide to publish photos of gears which obviously have the same shape and are located in different places on Mars. I was wrong. He said the finding was not bad, but did not publish it. This was unexpected, since he has articles where he says that giant plants are visible in photographs of Mars from space, spreading their branches in different directions. He made that conclusion based on low-resolution photographs, where one pixel is hundreds of meters. While browsing Google Earth, I saw similar photographs over the African desert, and when I zoomed in on the map, a high-resolution photo showed me one of the types of sand dunes – star dunes. Of course, in those pictures of Mars were captured similar star dunes, not plants. In fact, as I was self-educating in general sciences, it soon became clear that this was not the only mistake of that researcher. The huge amount of material that he gives out as possible giant forests and plants are simply photographs of various types of dunes and other geological formations. Why is he doing this? Does he really believe what he is talking about? Perhaps the fact that he decided to write a book with all his “findings” and started selling it will help you answer these questions.
There was another interesting thing that I saw on Martian images. It was a satellite image of a Martian slope. In that image, I saw what I very often saw in my village after the rain – namely, a long channel, made on a sandy road by water that flowed down from the side of the road and at the very end formed something like a round crater whose diameter was larger than the width of the channel created by water. The whole view vaguely resembles a tadpole with a very long tail. I realized then that liquid was flowing down those Martial slopes. After many years NASA scientists said in the news that they discovered the presence of water on Mars, showing slopes on which canals were visible, which were not seen in other earlier photographs of the same area.
Further, I know that according to official figures, the so-called “Face on Mars” is an ordinary hill. But not everyone trusts those newer photos from NASA. I think that it is worth to mention a video in which a researcher worked with the symmetry of the Martian “face”, and I immediately recognized in it the face and hairstyle of a Thiaooubian so familiar to me. Thao said that when there was still life on Mars, before the cooling down of the planet, people living there were spiritual – if the “face” is really a face, then I understand why…
Continuing the theme of photographs of the solar system’s planets, I want to add about our perception of reality. This happened when I was doing the colored circle exercises, activating different hemispheres of my brain. One day I noticed that I could see domes on satellite images of the lunar surface, and on the surface of Mars I could clearly distinguish something like oval cavities with a protrusion in the middle. Soon I realized that the “domes” were actually craters, and the “cavities” were barchans. The fact is that depending on which hemisphere of the brain was active, one and the same thing was perceived completely differently in my mind – it was inverted! This case shows that sometimes some things are not what they may so clearly seem to us. This also applies to our perception of some people…
Meanwhile, the pigeon continued to visit me in Moscow, and he was no longer alone, as he had found himself a girlfriend. Together they flew to my windowsill for a morning breakfast, often consisting of crushed bread, rice, millet, or barley. Their life was excellent, and after the meal they often made pigeon love right on the windowsill. The pigeon himself was very lively and courageous, despite his bent leg, on which he walked like on a crutch. He always drove away from “his” windowsill all the other pigeons that encroached on his food and windowsill, and maybe even on his female. But the moment came when his girlfriend got sick with what I identified as trichomoniasis. Attempts to mix the medicine for her in drinking water failed, and she soon died.
I perfectly remembered that after death, people reincarnated in new bodies. But what about animals? Animals only consist of three bodies, and not nine like humans. It is logical that two of those bodies must be physical and physiological. But what is the third body? Could it be the Astral body, or maybe the fluidic one? The fluidic body contains Chakras, and in the case of people it plays a very important role in sex, when we can have it every day and get benefits for our fluidic, physiological and physical bodies – provided, of course, that there is love and spiritual affinity between those two people of different sexes. Animals on the other hand want to have sex only for breeding, and they are not motivated by anything else. Therefore, I tend to believe that the fluidic body is not part of animals. But what about the Astral? In the case of humans, it retains all the spiritual knowledge acquired during our lives in different physical bodies. Animals do not seem to be learning anything spiritual during their lives. A predator will remain a predator until the end of its life, just as a herbivore will not begin to hunt its peers. At least that is how it looks like.
As far as I understand, there are no predatory animals at all on Thiaoouba, the planet of the last ninth category. This is logical, since the people born there have learned spiritually everything that they could learn in this Universe, and so they no longer need to suffer in any way from their environment. By the way, it is precisely because of the accumulation of complete knowledge that the responsibility of the inhabitants of the ninth planets are to assist, guide, and sometimes punish the inhabitants of the planets under their guardianship. And as for the planets of the first category, or “Planets of Sorrows”, such as the Earth, people live on them to learn how to “live, suffer and die”,9 and also to develop spiritually as much as they can. The latter, as I understand it, applies to all categories of planets.
So, with thoughts about whether the animals also have a piece of the Superior Intelligence in them and whether they go through their own process of evolution of the soul, I went to bed. It was the night of January 28, 2011. I know this since I first started a diary of spiritual experience after what happened when I woke up in the morning of that day.
It was an unusual dream about birds. I tried to remember the details and write them down, but my record is full of question marks. One part was about the knowledge that was imprinted in animals, so that later they could remember them in life. Further in the dream appeared an etheric force field and something about communication. Then the scene of the dream moved to a circular stone tower. Michel Desmarquet and some other dark man were there. They were in a boat. Two plants grew in the water, and one was broken by Michel who was very upset about that plant resembling pineapple leaves. Then the dark man began to play with Michel's knee (or something like that) and…
I woke up. In front of my closed eyes, I saw Thao's face. Her eyes were emanating waves that seemed to be spreading towards me – as if someone had simultaneously thrown two identical stones into a quiet lake at a short distance from each other. I asked in my mind in English: “Thao, are you here?”
On that night, the bank's air conditioners were turned on, but they did not make too much noise. Then I fell asleep and had other dreams, after which I woke up and again saw Thao's face in front of my closed eyes. I do not remember what those dreams were about. When I woke up, I decided to create a text file where I began to record and save all the spiritual experience that I had in this life.
In May of that year, I started working as a freelancer. My self-taught programming allowed me to complete several Flash projects. A month after my freelance work, I received my first payment to the bank card. Then I could hardly go outside, but still I reached the bank below. To do this, I had to go around my house, which in those days was a real challenge for me, given my physical and psychological condition.
Then I often thought about getting money, and one night I had a dream where children asked whether it was normal to constantly want to get paid. I thought about it and I tried to pay more attention to what I could learn from my work as a programmer, instead of worrying about whether the client would pay me or not. As for the money, after I was deceived and not paid $50 after my second project, I asked next clients to set up a 75% “milestone” of the agreed cost of the project. I sent files only after I saw real money in escrow – by and large this was a strong recommendation of the website itself, on which I received my contracts. Therefore, I was protected financially. As for the remaining 25%, I never asked people to send them, but absolutely all clients paid the rest of the money. I am glad that most of the people I worked with were honest.
After some time, I began to learn PHP, CSS, HTML5, and JavaScript. I realized that I like HTML5 more than Flash, which I said goodbye to.
Unable to go outside, I spent time at the computer. At one time, I became interested in Apple products and probably looked at all the Keynotes hosted by the charismatic Steve Jobs. I wanted to have a laptop from his company, but when my freelancer salary allowed me to buy a modern laptop from Amazon, I just could not pay more than a thousand dollars for a laptop, the components of which were several years worse than what I ultimately bought. It was a refurbished laptop from MSI for a little less than a thousand and a half dollars. It was only slightly inferior to the best laptops of the time.
While I was waiting for the parcel from the USA, I started playing GTA: Vice City. The very game that consumed me in the tenth grade, but this time I played it in English, and it was an official copy bought on Steam.
In those years, I was often very nervous and very easily annoyed, since even though I tried to strive for something, hoping that everything would change in the future, I could not forgive myself for my mistakes. I often yelled a lot if something did not work out for me, or if something just annoyed me. One of those days was no exception, and when I played the video game, I hit my laptop keyboard hard with my fist. It turned off, but still was able to turn on and continued to work properly. I was lucky then, but not having learned the lesson, I hit the laptop again, and this time it went out forever. This action was terrible also because a few months earlier, in a fit of anger, I broke up another laptop, which I bought for twenty-five thousand rubles, naively believing that I would go to the USA where I would need a laptop with Wi-Fi. I was in such a wild state then that nothing was left of the laptop screen. Somehow, I managed to persuade my mother to buy me a new cheap laptop for sixteen thousand – which I ruined with my blow. Earlier, when I had not yet worked as a merchandiser, I threw my twelve-thousand-ruble phone. The hit on the hard tile of the toilet deformed it so that the screen showed only white color. As a merchandiser, I saved up money for a new phone for about the same twelve or thirteen thousand. Alas, but it was also broken by me. Fortunately, I learned from mistakes after all and decided to buy myself the cheapest phone for a thousand rubles. It was just a cell phone that pleased me for a while. But it too was destined to fly out the open window of my apartment. As a result, I threw a little over sixty-six thousand rubles into the wind… and if you also count the replacement of the matrix of an old laptop with the purchase of an unnecessary, cheap monitor for a temporary screen, the figure will be even higher.
I think that this dark series of events made me realize that even though I found the truth about life thanks to Thiaoouba, I was not even remotely as happy as I was when I did not know what I learned later about life. Naturally, I treasured my experience with Thiaoouba and Thao, as well as my knowledge, but as soon as I remembered my mistakes, all my happiness and love for life immediately changed polarity.
Meanwhile, the laptop was delivered to the post office. I just needed to go there. In reality it was not so simple, but I managed to deal with my fears. The computer was fully operational and worked several times faster than the previous deceased brother. And after I bought an SSD, it became almost perfect. On that first day with a new laptop, I tried to note in my head that whatever would happen, I would not break it. It is March 29, 2020, and I am writing these lines on the same notebook that I have never “offended”, having learned from some of my mistakes.