Duality of Life
I continued to masturbate once a week, but thought about removing masturbation from my life forever. But it was difficult. Sometimes I even thought about quitting masturbation, but replacing it with going to prostitutes once a month. But I immediately realized that this would be a big step down for me, and moneywise I would have to spend about 10% of the annual profit for renting the apartment.
One of the asymmetries of my life was that I was upset by the thought that people had sex, neighbors, for example, and I did not, but at the same time I watched porn easily. I recently realized that the reason was that I differentiated the women by those who were porn actresses and those who were ordinary girls. For example, I would not watch how the girls whom I approached to meet on the street had sex with their boyfriends and husbands. That would hurt me. Girls who act in porn are the same girls as everyone else. The difference lies only in the accumulated spiritual and material knowledge. This awareness about my thinking has helped me a lot to stop wanting to go to porn sites, as well as it helped to be more relaxed about the fact that others have sexual relationships.
Here I can also write about how for a long time I did not look at Russian girls on porn sites, since such videos would start to open the veil, and I began to see who I was; that is, foreign porn actresses seemed to be someone very distant, but Russian girls could well live even on my street, and in theory I could even approach one of them to get acquainted. After I began to actively get to know girls and subsequently gradually eliminated some of my psychological problems, I no longer experienced psychological discomfort at the sight of Russian girls. But if we look at the whole porn situation sensibly and openly, then it does not matter where the girl is from, since it is in any case very humiliating to watch how some man copulates with a girl you like, and with whom you yourself, frankly speaking, want to have sex, but cannot.
In my further Internet searches, I found the NoFap forum.[20] It was again clear that I was not alone with this habit, and women too were not protected from it. I found some interesting things for myself. For example, people could stay for many years without masturbation and sex, and they were all well in health – one of the reasons why I refused to say goodbye to masturbation once and for all. Moreover, there were people who masturbated and would then stop, not bringing the matter to orgasm. Everything was fine with them too. The general idea was such that it was worth trusting the nature that will restore the health of the body and organs – unless the matter is so serious that you need to seek medical attention, of course.
But there were ideas that I did not agree with because of my own experience. For example, I do not think that it is necessary to count days without masturbation, or to make any plans at all, since during a relapse a person will feel bad psychologically, which happens to many people on that forum. This is a normal psychological response to failure. The fact is that there wouldn’t be any failure if the person set the goal simply not to masturbate as much as he can, and if he returns to the habit, he simply realizes the reasons that led him to this activity and tries to learn from this event, so as next time to try to make another choice. As they say, never say never.
This is what I did after many years of self-flagellation due to the fact that I continued to visit porn sites and masturbate from time to time. This attitude helped me a lot, and I no longer scold myself after relapses. Also, I usually do not feel very bad after them.
The very same philosophy should be applied to all aspects of our lives. It is worth living in a balanced way when a person lives in the present moment and aspires to something that interests him, but at the same time he does not create for himself grandiose goals that may never be achieved. This is important psychologically, because then it will not be possible to fail in an attempt to achieve the unattainable.
I also do not agree with the opinion of some people that it is necessary to remove everything related to porn and erotica from your life. It is our choice, what we do with the information that comes into our minds. A person can live either only in the present moment thanks to the five senses, or in his inner world, which can be memories, thoughts, or fantasies. Therefore, all that needs to be done at the sight of a naked girl is to maintain the focus on reality. Being one hundred percent in reality, there simply will be no room for extraneous thoughts about returning to masturbation. This is simple logic, and I know from experience that this position is true and works.
So, after a week of abstinence, I watched a documentary about porn, and I did not masturbate for many days after that. The reason for the next relapse were fantasies – as almost always happens in my case. But I am working on it and making progress.
In general, thanks to this forum, I again saw the power of the Internet and of the free exchange of knowledge. As for the negative information, it mainly exists because of the very evils that Thao spoke about: money, politicians, hallucinogenic drugs, journalists looking for sensations, and religions. I will talk in the Manifesto regarding what people could do to improve the lives of others and at the same time their own.
Some time ago I came across the term “Incel”, which means “involuntary celibates”. I never considered myself one of those people, even though this term describes me. Once I went to their website to broaden my horizons, and I immediately began to feel the negative atmosphere that I did not like at all. I never visited that website again. I hope that my experience will help some of them to find kindness and love in themselves.
I understand from my experience that those people want love. It was precisely because I wanted to give my love, but in return I got ridicule and negativity, I sometimes began to feel hatred for people, realizing in the process that there is indeed one step from love to hate.
Then I saw a video of one of these Incels. At the time I did not know who he was, but it became clear to me that he most likely committed a murder after recording his video. I stopped the video and found out on the Internet that it was so. Looking through the video, I saw that the person, just like me, sometimes went into his inner world – this was obvious, and this is what people often call “creepy”, something that gives shivers.
Even the slightest presence in one’s mind will be reflected in facial expressions, eyes, and in general behavior.
I knew then that this was one of the reasons why girls did not want to have anything in common with that guy who was quite handsome. All he had to do was learn to live in the present moment and work on himself, to grow as a person. Alas, the young man did not know what I knew, and he took with him seven innocent people (in relation to his unsuccessful attempts to find a girl).
From the point of view of my knowledge, I can say that those instantly killed did not suffer much. Their Astral bodies were liberated, and they flew through the psychic channel to their Higher Self for a new reincarnation in a new body. Who suffered in this situation is the relatives and friends of the victims. As for the killer himself, who was shot dead by the police, if in his life he only suffered from the absence of a girlfriend, then the chances are that in future lives he will not have sex again, since he has not learned his life lesson, plus he will have to lose his beloved and closest people himself.
I feel that Jesus’ 45th statement in the Gospel of Thomas might speak about the reasons for people committing such atrocities. If a person chooses to keep bad thoughts about his environment, then he will do the respective actions. In order not to make more mistakes than necessary, you should try to consciously choose to have in yourself good and positive thoughts about ourselves and about our environment. Then the actions performed will be good and right. For this, again, you need to develop intellectually, to learn as much as possible about the world.
Many also laughed at me. There were several couples who walked holding hands and grinned at me – because of how I looked. There were just people who, accompanied by a comrade, spoke their vile words about my appearance. They did not hide it at all, believing that they were safe. But this is not so. I know that at that moment they signed the sentence for their suffering that they will experience according to Universal Law, which maintains justice in the world. And since no one can escape Universal Law, I know that I do not need to become an executioner, because otherwise I will make a mistake and suffer for it.
Of course, we are not talking about real physical attacks, when there is no other way but to defend oneself – which will not be a mistake.
One of the worst cases happened when I walked out from around the corner of my house in one evening. Two of my old friends were sitting on a bench at the corner, and one of them right at the time of my appearance was saying how many idiots he saw in his life. They laughed at the sight of me. Thanks to Thiaoouba for me not becoming a “convicted criminal” again at that moment…
This hurt my soul since thanks to my knowledge I realized that this was not a simple “coincidence”. Because of this I felt like the Universe itself was laughing at me. But then I calmed down my emotions and realized the simple truth that everything has its own description and the corresponding name, and at some points of my life I really fit the description of that word. I did this because I wished it, as it became a 100% choice when at the age of eighteen I learned how I look like when I go into my inner world.
I compared this to the acting of a good actor who plays different roles during his career, but at the same time, he is usually not like any of his characters. So, I acted out my role a long time ago, having experienced everything that it can give me, but I still remain in it for various reasons. Simply put – it is my fault that I look the way I look. I have a choice. Plus, I have not forgotten that those guys will be sooner or later punished by Universal Law for all their mistakes – no more, no less. And I am more than oaky with that.
Of course, while we need to name and describe different things, people, and animals, we need to be mindful of the emotional component of the words we use. There is a difference between the use of a word that is considered rude in a society, and that word which is considered normal to describe something or someone. In the first case, the person makes a mistake, and in the second, he does not. You may remember how Thao (I always thought she was the one who gave me that message, but I do not know for sure) used the word “masturbation” in her old message to me. It would be very strange to hear from them the word that I used in those days when I spoke about my bad habit.
You also need to remember about balance – if you have some kind of cautionary story that can help other people, you would be making a mistake by not telling it, but you should not embellish that story with unnecessary emotions or unnecessary details.
Another case contrasts with this one, when some alcoholic called me by a bad word that is said to men of non-traditional orientation. I think my purple shirt was the reason for his words. I chose that color to try to at least slightly match the color of my clothes with one of the possible colors of my Aura. Well, at that moment I was not at all affected by his comment, since it had nothing to do with me. Plus, my knowledge regarding mistakes and consequences also helped me not to get angry…
Years earlier, there was another case when I started playing LoL for half an hour a day and made myself a female nickname – Anna Hudson. I was absolutely indifferent to those very rare moments when bad words, which are used to call female dogs, flew towards me – they had nothing to do with me.
But sometimes there were moments, when I wondered who I was wasting my time for, trying to somehow help people, if they give me their negativity in response to my help. Maybe let this planet disappear in horrific cataclysms? But no. When the emotions passed, I realized again that it was all about knowing the spiritual side of life and that those people had almost none of that knowledge. And since I have them, I cannot help but share them if I do not want to suffer for the error of silence, living in one of the following lives in ignorance.
Do you know who these people are that have no spiritual knowledge? These are the people who live their first life in the Universe. Mathematically, there are very few of them, if we take into account that we can reach the planet of the second category in 500 – 15 000 years – at least one out of ten people, if we take an average life expectancy of fifty years.
By the way, since spiritual knowledge is stored in our Astral bodies, and we recall them when we are in a situation that we have already learned a lesson of, we can determine that we have lived before if we have the so-called “innate” sense of morality about something.
It is clear that a person living his first life never made mistakes and therefore should not suffer in the midst of society. Who does not feel discomfort among people? These are those people whose physical bodies are perceived as beautiful in the society in which they live. For example, people want to have sex with them, but they want the same in return. Of course, without spiritual knowledge, they will pay attention to the external appearances of a person, and not to his spiritual world. For the same reasons, these same people can speak negatively of others, and they will take the opportunity to improve their lives at the expense of someone else. After they collect errors during their lives, the time for reckoning for them will come, and they will feel on their own experience what people, whom they somehow caused pain and suffering, had to experience. This time can stretch over many lives. How much? Each of us decides for himself…
The complete lack of spiritual knowledge among a certain percentage of people born on the planets of the first category shows why the lessons of such planets are logical. Unknowingly, people will make many mistakes that will lead them to suffering and to a chance to learn how to live, suffer and die in the Universe.
Why do people agree to be born in bodies that are doomed to suffer at all? When reunited with the Higher Self, the soul assimilates all knowledge about the Superior Intelligence, the Universe and the reason for its creation, and about all the Laws of the Universe. They know that they are part of the eternal Spirit, and that they have been involved in creating the Universe in which they temporarily live.
I believe that I discovered another important feature of the functioning of the planets of the first categories. Since the planets of the first category should teach the people living on them how to live, suffer and die, the conditions on them must be appropriate. If it so happens that all people on the planet become spiritual due to the accumulation of necessary material knowledge, including lessons from history, then new souls who have never lived in the Universe before will not be able to be born on such a planet, because otherwise they would not make mistakes in a spiritual society and because of this they would be able to reunite with the Higher Self of the second category, and maybe even with the Higher Self of an even higher category, after their first life – and this despite the fact that they would not have learned any spiritual lessons! Further, living on the planets of the highest categories, these people, unknowingly, would make mistakes, the negative consequences of which could reach the Spirit.
In reality, the Higher Self will never offer such a life to the Astral body that never lived before.
Further, from the book Thiaoouba Prophecy it is known that souls (and people themselves) cannot change planets, just as we humans change houses. If our time has not come yet, then we must be born and learn on our planet – this is logical and fair.
It follows that if the planet of the first category turns into a “paradise”, then “The Planet of Sorrows” will no longer fulfill its tasks, and the continuation of such a paradise could lead to many strange consequences… if it was not for one thing – synchronization.
During my first time reading Thiaoouba Prophecy, I clearly noticed how interesting it was that 1 320 000 years ago the asteroid just had to collide with the Earth at the same time that the descendants of the Bakaratinians could live happily ever after on Earth, without any problems, for they have all become spiritual people and, thanks to their history, would no longer make serious mistakes. Due to the consequences of the asteroid’s collision with the Earth, absolutely all cities were wiped off the face of the planet, leaving behind only legends…
The same applies to Mu civilization, which was very spiritual and intelligent. It was located in the South Pacific on the continent, formed as a result of cataclysms caused by the fall of the asteroid 1 320 000 years ago. From Thiaoouba Prophecy it becomes clear that thanks to Mu, all peoples on Earth also became more or less spiritual… if it was not for the cataclysm 14 500 years ago that sank Mu under the waters of the Pacific Ocean. Atlantis, which was the colony of Mu and which people followed after the disappearance of Mu, also ceased to exist after some time, and after that people on Earth rejected the simplicity of truth and became materialistic. You know the further history of Earthlings.
So those catastrophes had to happen – otherwise the Earth could no longer teach new souls. Naturally, no one threw asteroid into the Earth and drowned Mu under water. These events occurred according to the Laws of the Universe (physics), some of which are known to us. Therefore, on the one hand, they are not directly related to the emergence of fully spiritual civilizations on the entire planet, but on the other hand of the synchronistic side things are different.
Naturally, even knowing these realities, one should always try to make the right decisions aimed at achieving justice and happiness for all people, because otherwise you will have to suffer for your mistakes.
In addition, I will say my opinion that people do not make a mistake when they have these understandings and still lead society to spiritual prosperity, since these catastrophic events are only synchronized with that prosperity and do not have human decisions and human activities in their chain of events. The fall of a comet, for example, is not a consequence of human decisions.
These thoughts are closely related to reflections about fate – does it exist? It may seem strange that I ask such a question, given that the Spirit imagined everything and everyone which/who will ever exist, and life itself moves according to the very exact Laws of the Universe.
Before I found Thiaoouba, I wanted to believe that there was no fate – because of this I had engraved in my memory the scene with Sarah Connor from the movie “Terminator 2: Judgment Day”. The reason was simple – in my childhood I did not even want to think that I was destined to live a “stutterer” and suffer, while others did not have any problems whatsoever – well, or so it seemed on the surface. Then I did not know either about reincarnation, or about the real purpose of the Universe.
After Thiaoouba, I decided that fate is, and it is not at the same time. It all depends on whose point of view to look at the Universe. If we look from the Superior Intelligence’s – there is fate, since the Spirit knows everything. If we look from our point of view, then, having limited knowledge, we make our own fate, as we make decisions based on our knowledge that we have at one or another moment of our life. We do not know the future, the knowledge of which is being erased in the River of Oblivion, and therefore there is no fate for us; but at the same time it is from the point of view of the Spirit and Higher Selves. This is only my opinion that I have based on my current spiritual and material knowledge.
The same goes for chances. We say there is a chance that something will happen, just because we do not know absolutely everything. But the Superior Intelligence knows not only all the Laws of his Universe, but also the location of absolutely all particles at any time. Therefore, for the Spirit, everything that is happening had a 100% chance to happen.
I made a mistake when, after reading Michel Desmarquet’s book, I realized that everything was a foregone conclusion, and I began to live somewhat passively. It was as if I did not see at that time that my decisions here and now affect what I will experience in my life. I suffered because of my own decisions, and not because it was destined to be – even though I saw all these choices when I was previewing my life with my Higher Self.
We ourselves build our destiny and life, but we need to understand that we are not the only intelligent entity in the Universe, and therefore we need to reckon with the decisions of other intelligent entities – the Superior Intelligence, people, and animals – who also have a certain degree of impact on our lives.
***
In the summer, I thought about going to Park Pobedy, which I drove by on bus when I worked as a courier, and where I thought of going ten years ago to meet girls. My health was restored, and I did not feel any problems at all. Because of this I thought to walk around Moscow each day and as often as possible approach girls for dating.
Unfortunately, as it often was the case with me, this lightness in my body and mind allowed the slipping through of a thought that everything would be fine if I go to the porn site one more “last” time… Due to four masturbations in a couple of days, I thought that this time I could never recover again, since I felt that something was wrong with my health. For many years I had not felt so unwell. Needless to say, I had to forget about travelling for a long time…
Since none of the book publishers wrote me back, I decided to message the person who told me that they were considering publishing the book. I was told that they did not want to publish it because people just keep writing and writing books like this… at this point I remembered about the dangers of money which encourage people to write fables for the sake of survival in capitalism, obscuring priceless truths. But there was something else in the message. The man recommended me to publish the book on LitRes.
I learned that this is one of the largest Russian bookstores of electronic books where you can publish any of your books, provided that its content does not contradict the laws of Russia.
I began to translate the rest of Thiaoouba Prophecy till the end.
As I said, I used to spend a lot of time in my head. At that time, I sometimes thought about the resurrection, which then flowed into fantasy.
On August 15, a very unexpected incident occurred that only synchronously concerned me. I was at home preparing food when at about five in the afternoon I heard something fall from the upper floors to the ground. I thought to myself that the neighbors from above had not dumped garbage from the windows for a very long time, and now they began to misbehave again; I continued to do my household chores. After a few moments, people began to come near the house and talk about something. Some of them was calling someone on the phone. Cats often walked under the house, and I thought that perhaps the thrown garbage fell on one of them? After a couple of minutes, I saw the ambulance, which had just arrived, drive away. I had not yet connected it with the crowd of people gathered right under my window. After some time, an elderly woman walking along the road asked someone in the window if it was their child that fell out. The whole situation cleared up for me. A few minutes later, a cry came from a girl who was the mother of the deceased child. She was in great distress and cried. She was comforted by people, one of whom, apparently, was her husband. Then the police arrived.
I remembered the ability of the Higher Selves to resurrect dead people, and I knew that there were people who in the old days actually raised the dead. In theory, I could ask my Higher Self to convey a message to the Higher Self of the child, entreating to restore his damaged physical body – something that I know a Higher Self can do from my own experience when I got instantly cured. I had experience communicating with my Higher Self, and she woke me up when I asked for it many years ago, plus I knew about many spiritual things – in general, there was a chance that I could succeed…
But I was afraid. Naturally! A huge amount of thoughts passed through my head, and the one concerning the loss of freedom was especially frightening to me. Not all people know that insanity is a loss of control over oneself due to erroneous choices caused by a lack of certain knowledge, and therefore it has nothing to do with knowledge gained from life experiences – like seeing ghosts, for example. The maximum that can be here is that a person is mistaken in his conclusions – which is not madness.
There were no girl and people when I went to the window again.
Some time later, I heard a roar of a motor coming from the street and then a squeal of tires. I ran to the window and saw how the police grabbed the man who was with the girl. One policeman hit him on the back of his leg with his foot. I will leave it for you to reflect on how he could have been involved in the events that occurred earlier.
I thought about going out and talking to a girl, but I started having diarrhea. After several minutes, I drank a couple of activated charcoal and ventured out to walk to the store where I knew worked the girl who had lost her child. I thought that if I saw her, I would try to tell her alone of my thoughts.
Naturally, immediately after the death of a child, people do not return to work to lay out products on shelves, and so she was not in the store.
More than three days passed and I never saw that girl again…
This event let me know from personal experience that I was not the only one who suffered on this Planet of Sorrows.
After a very short time, I walked along Znamenskaya Street which connects with my street and is one of the closest to my house. Not having walked even a hundred meters, I saw that a policeman was standing on the sidewalk on the other side of the road, and a corpse of a man was lying nearby, covered with dark polyethylene. I could not help but see another sign in this event. What were the chances that these two events could happen so close not only in time but also in physical distance, and I only recently thought and dreamed of resurrection? The only difference was that in my daydreams things were completely different.
I thought then to approach and try to explain to the policeman about my life and knowledge, but I could not…
I promised myself that if I witness an accidental death for the third time, I will try to resurrect the dead person… Honestly, I regret a little that I made this promise…
Of course, I did not know if that person on the sidewalk died due to an accident, or due to natural causes.
I talked about the event with the child in the group on Facebook. One of the branches of the conversation led to thoughts about life and fate.
I wrote about my thoughts that a multiverse and different outcomes of events are impossible, since this would mean that 2 + 2 is not always equal to 4. If one particle has to “collide” with another particle and transfer a certain amount of energy to it, then this is what must happen. The particle cannot transfer less or more energy by one sextillionth – everything must be 100% precise. The same applies to the direction of movement and rotation of these particles.
Our intellect is connected with these simple truths, because we make our decisions based on knowledge, both material and spiritual, that we have at the present moment of life, as well as on the accumulation of atoms (people, trees, cars, wind, conversation, etc.) e.) and all other existing particles created in the Universe (quarks, neutrinos, and all other particles that we have yet to discover) – what we call different life situations. It is known (to the Superior Intelligence and, possibly, to the Higher Selves) to all 100% where all these particles are and where they will be at any point in time, since the Laws of the Universe that direct their interactions are also 100% precise.
Of course, I remember the natural ‘accidents’ that Thao spoke of, but in order to simplify the understanding of the Universe, we should not think about them now.
Then I expressed what had been spinning in my mind for a long time, and finally I was able to materialize my thoughts into words.
Everything that I said is 100% true in the case of my life. I often blamed myself for past mistakes, asking how I could make this or that stupid decision. The answer lies in knowledge. I did what I thought was right in the place and in the time that was once present moment. I did what I thought – based on my material and spiritual knowledge that I had at that moment in time – will benefit me and make my life better and happier.
My decision to start masturbating at age 13; my decision not to get acquainted with the girl at my age of 14, which led to the decision to start dreaming purposefully that year; my desire to leave for the USA at age 18; and everything else – all decisions were absolutely logical (but not all were correct) at the time of their execution!