The Ball

«Of course, notary, it could be. Shall we go back to the semantics or to other similar studies? What has all of this got to do with being a notary? Wouldn’t a lawyer, family counselling or a friend be more suitable to solve such a situation?»

«Wouldn’t be even better if Mr and Mrs Pardoli would live in harmony and loved each other like spouses should do? Wouldn’t the two halves be stuck to one another, like two magnets, making up a euphonic ball?»

I look at him with my eyes almost wide open, and I fall silent for ten seconds.

«The euphonic ball, of course» I grumble. «A harmonious sphere. In my opinion, we are slipping towards disciplines which are off-limits and in this area I just would not know how to learn something about it in order to hold a conversation with you» I say it with an almost ordinary tone of voice. «I am not that good when it comes to love relationships, I don’t have a clue: I need a full immersion course or even to have some hands-on practice for a few years.»

«You may be right, Brando: it is not my area» he says.

«Not even: it is not part of the notary’s job.»

«Well, you could try to mediate and convince the spouses, in mutual agreement, to reclaim only a part of the donations. Only one house and a few thousand euros, just to get the situation going, but I don’t know if that would make sense at all.»

«Yes, to find some sort of middle ground» the notary replies.

He stares at me with a melancholic and pensive look while I keep quiet for quite a few seconds.

«Look» I say arching my back and bringing my neck almost at knee level, «if you come here, with your head under the table, and you look at the door, the table has only two legs.»

1.3 IMPULSE - TWO

A few people are scattered around the bar, there are mostly couples sitting one opposite the other at the outdoor tables, along the big stained-glass window which delimit the building.

Since when it was renovated a few years ago, the bar at the corner has got a Scandinavian air, as if it has been teleported from Östermalm quarter to the heart of Brescia Due.

The whole place is painted in dark green: the inside, the counter, the wooden floor with wide slats. The black wooden tables are arranged at a fair distance among themselves; the chairs are made with the same material and are lacquered with bright and mixed colours: red, orange, green and blue. In the middle of the bar, some plants which are similar to small palm trees divide up the hall from the back room, overlooking the street.

The notary has dragged me here to kill some time while waiting for the Provençal night and now is walking ahead of me. I follow him past the plants and we sit at the table in the back, in the corner between the two stained-glass windows that delimit the bar.

«What shall we have, Brando?»

«I don’t know...»

«All this waiting has made me feel hungry and has given me cravings for drinking» he replies, looking at me. «Most of all, I want to have a drink.»

«Good evening, gentlemen, good evening notary. What can I get you?» the waiter asks. He is a nice boy, wearing an apron with black and white stripes and a name tag.

«Good evening Gigi, can we have two Franciacorta wine?» the notary asks.

«Sure, right away. Which one do you prefer?» Alessandro looks at me to find out what I prefer.

«Something like a brut, or less sugary, rosé wine would do» I suggest looking at the notary in search of approval.

«Fine, two brut rosé Franciacorta wine: I’ll check inside what we have. What would you like to have it with? Can I bring you our platter of seasonal aperitifs?»

«Sure, Gigi, that would be great» the notary replies.

«Brilliant, I’ll be right back, gentlemen» he says going off.

Five girls come from the hall behind me and sit at the table beside ours. They must be in their 20s and are all dolled up as if they are in their late racy teens; two of them are compulsively typing on their smartphones, the others are talking loudly.

I turn to the other side, and I look outside the stained- glass window: I can see a middle-aged couple walking all wrapped up in two long and grey coats; the notary is sitting opposite me and he is carelessly looking at them.

I turn to the left again.

«So, did you recover from the discussion about lexical semantics? You looked rather pensive.»

«I was just thinking about the situation between the spouses. I told you anyhow that it is forbidden to talk about issue during our aperitif.»

«Okay, you are quite right» I grin.

«And thank you for being here with me, at the bar, waiting for the Bistrot.»

«Not at all: I am quite pleased. Talking about other clients then: I was just thinking today, while I was checking the share transfer on behalf of Anyauto...»

«Yes, Brando? What were you thinking?»

«I take it that the two funny guys did some work on your car; I mean, not on your Ferrari California, but on your old Porsche. Have I got it right?»

«Sure, Antonio and Ermes. My Porsche...» he says still looking at the street.

«I can mind my business, if you wish.»

«No, Brando, this is a valid question. There are no secrets.» It looks as if the notary is taking a few minutes to think it over. «The Ferrari California is beautiful, isn’t it? Do you like it, Brando?»

«Yes, sure: it is a Ferrari. Everybody likes it. I am not mad about the colour...»

«What’s wrong with the colour?»

«It’s red: Ferrari red. For me cars are only black and I just make a distinction between pastel black, metallic black and matt black.»

«Should I have got a black one?»

«I don’t know, notary. Usually, Ferrari cars are red. I would say that many experts would not tolerate a different colour. I don’t know the specific environment: there could be Ferrari enthusiasts that go around with Ferrari cars with the strangest colours.»

«In my opinion, a red Ferrari is a bit ordinary.»

«Ordinary... in your elitist bracket is very common, I think for sure.»

«That’s right» the notary replies. «I think that 95% of Ferrari cars sold are red.»

«Excuse me, but are you telling me that you don’t like the colour of your car?»

«It’s not just a matter of colour, it is just the car that I bloody hate!»

«You bloody hate it?» I ask, puzzled.

«Yes, I fucking hate it.»

«You fucking hate it?» I ask more and more puzzled.

«Here is your platter, gentlemen. I’ll leave it here for you» the waiter interrupts placing the wooden board in the middle of the table. «And your Franciacorta wine.»

«Thank you» we reply almost at the same time.

The waiter turns around and goes over to the table of the girls beside us, who keep on talking with their shrill voices.

The notary drinks some wine, puts the glass down and grabs a sliver of parmesan cheese. «Yes. I fucking hate it.»

«Right, I got it right then. I did not think you would harbour a grudge towards your car. How long have you been feeling that way towards it?»

«Since the first day I went to collect it at the car dealer.»

«Why, where did you buy it? You didn’t order it from the car factory? I thought that was the case for Ferrari cars.»

«I think this is the case for new cars. She was about four months when I bought it.»

«Anyway, if you chose it, it means that you liked it a bit.»

The notary drinks another sip of wine. «No, actually I have never thought of buying a Ferrari car in my life and it was the only one left in that car showroom where I went following the advice of one of my friends because I needed a car ready for delivery. There were a few Porsche cars and one Nissan GT-R: that was wonderful, orange with black rims.»

«Yes, magnificent» I reply looking at him. «Sorry, notary, and then? Why did you go for the Ferrari?»

«I needed to replace the other one quickly; then I was there with my wife, you know how these things go.»

«No, not really. Ultimately, did your wife prefer the Ferrari?»

«Of course, she said that it would have been more suitable for my age and that I did not have the right age to have an orange car, it was not appropriate for a serious professional.»

«I see. Nissan GT-R cars forever: as a matter of fact, I agree with your choice.»

The notary gulps down his glass of wine, looks at me and smiles.

«Actually, with your non-choice» I grin.

I empty my glass too. «Actually, I asked about your old Porsche» I try to say again. «It didn’t look that old to me: it was so cool in my opinion.»

«The same for me, the only thing was that she had a troublesome differential gear and secondly my Porsche was to be replaced, costing me a few thousand euros. They told me that she could have broken down any minute causing damage to I don’t know how many components: she was making a loud noise, quite low, that could be heard from outside.»

«Now the matter is clearer to me.»

«Why? I didn’t know you had a great interest in my car fleet.»

«I was just curious. You know that I love cars, so I was a little worried for your old 911, completely black, which I liked very much.»

The notary stops the waiter who is hanging around the girls’ table and asks for two more glasses of wine.

«I have always liked it myself» then he says, «do you like it even if it is metallic black and not matt like your car?».

«Matt black is quite a recent obsession: the shiny varnish on your 911 looks definitely beautiful too.»

«Brando, do you think that your fuchsia car mirrors make your car look serious?»

«Serious maybe not but the mirrors with a different colour than the upholstery was an optional and I could not resist: I was in two minds whether to go for orange or that one. As a matter of fact, they are a bit tacky.»

«Just a bit» the notary laughs. «At least they stand out from your sombre and gloomy appearance.»

«That’s right. Also, I went in to order it by myself, with no female presence by my side.»

The waiter drops over two new glasses of wine three quarters full and takes the empty ones.

«True, black is a constant with me» I say grabbing the glass. «So, in the end you have held on to the 911 and you don’t use it anymore, for fear that it will self-destruct at any moment?»

«I still use it now and again. I have brought it to several garages, after I got the new one: the two Anyauto partners seemed to be the most reliable, actually they are very good indeed. They advised me to allow them to open it up and in the end they were able to solve the problem by changing just one bearing of the differential gear and the noise went completely. At that point, while I was at it, I followed their advice to put in a new exhaust pipe because the standard one reduces the engine power. And the one that they put it has a sound really...» the notary said, pausing.

«Really what?»

«I wouldn’t know how to express it: really harmonious.»

«Quite a story! Like the euphonic ball?» I ask laughing, while he stares at me with a strange look. «Anyway, I didn’t think that the staff at Anyauto were so cutting-edge» I say quickly.

«Yes, they are really great» the notary says reaching out for his glass. «Somebody told me that they have started to provide a breakdown service in the last few months: they take turns, making themselves available at any time, day or night.»

«They are great» I say. «They keep themselves very busy.»

«Yes, at least they keep themselves going with some ideas» he replies. «They live opposite their garage: they have a barn, where they work, and a two-storey building in front of it, which is a bit neglected, where they both live, each of them with their own families.»

«Great idea, I’d say: home and work close by» I answer staring at the glass in front of me. If they have both of them in the one place, they have less hassle: they avoid being in and out, they save their energy and can allocate time for their pastimes. Such a life would not be bad. It is a shame that for me it is unachievable.

⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎

The voices of the girls are louder and louder; the girl who is sitting at the head of the table, ducklike and half naked like the others, but with almost pleasant plumage, picks up her smartphone, while the others are posing stretching their bodies over the table with their arms straight and holding their glasses.

The notary is monitoring what is happening.

«I wonder whether they are immortalizing a memorable event» he asks.

«Yes, probably they need to keep in their minds the unrepeatable opportunity to drink some liquids in this bar, this very evening.»

«More than anything else, they will record it in the memory of their smartphones, rather than in their minds» the notary says.

«Correct» I reply. «And then they will post this unrepeatable event on the social media too.»

«There are things that I don’t understand anymore: I feel like a stranger in many situations» the notary says. «It is probably down to age.»

I grab an olive. «I don’t think it is a matter of age. Probably I feel already too old, that’s why I feel uneasy like you in these situations.»

«Come on, Brando, were you born in 1979, right?» I nod while I chew on the olive.

«So, you are fourteen years younger than me: it is quite a bit.»

«Yes, half a generation, I’d say.»

«What do those girls look like? Do you find them attractive?» the notary asks.

I take a glance on my left and I examine once more the five diners at the table beside ours, without lingering again on the girl who is sitting at the head of the table, I have already x-rayed her before. They are dressed and made up according to manga cosplayer style: tight-fitting tops, micro-miniskirts, leather shorts, knee-high boots. Pity that they are not at Lucca Comics.

«I don’t know: there’s a fair chance that they look attractive to people their age. Personally, I don’t find them so attractive. If I take into account the tone and the pitch of their voices, I’d say that they are a real pain...» I stop and take a sip of my dry wine. «A bit like your Ferrari.»

The notary smiles, looks again at the table beside ours and take another sip of the wine. «They could be my daughters, but I would feel awful to have given life to those things» he says with some melancholy in his voice.

«If they were your daughters, you would look at them in a different way.» I grab a sliver of parmesan cheese, while the notary is staring at his glass. «Actually, if they were your daughters, I doubt it very much that they would be like that. You know, the genes... At the end of the day, each of us is born with well-defined genes; certainly, the social environment and the world around us do all the rest. I do think though that what you are, that is your own genes, always win over everything.»

«It is all in the genes, is it what you are saying? So those five girls, who I don’t think they are sisters, had a common destiny to inherit a gene for silly photos, shrill voices and tarty clothing?» the notary asks.

«Tarty?»

«Yes» he replies, laughing.

«It’s a nice definition» I smile and take another sip of my wine. «However, it is possible that they were all unlucky. Certainly, the environment plays a big role too: the upbringing, that’s what it is. You would never allow your daughter to be so loud. Bad-mannered, I’d say.»

I look at the bubbles in my glass; the shrill voices of the girls seem to have lowered a bit, while the notary is silent and grabs an olive. «However, in my opinion, if a gene is that way, it’s difficult to adjust it and modify it. It would take centuries, thousands of years» I add, looking at him.

«Have you been studying genetics long?»

«No. I haven’t studied it that much. Some time ago I have just done a test to find out where my genetic make-up comes from.»

«Interesting», the notary says. «How does it work?».

«You send off a DNA sample: a file of saliva, basically; then they process them and after a few weeks they send a detailed account.»

«Brando, shall we have two more?» the notary asks pointing at the empty glasses on the table.

«Sure, why not.»

Alessandro nods at somebody behind me.

«What did come out of that test?» he asks then

«Nothing major: the prevalent genes, almost 20%, are Sardinian; just under that are Basque country and Fennoscandian genes; the other percentages are low and stem from the Orkney Islands, western Siberia and India».

«Here is your fill up» the waiter says while he puts two new glasses on the table and place the empty ones on the tray.

«Thank you, Gigi. This rosé wine is really good» the notary says.

«Really good: drinkable» I confirm.

«I am glad you like it: it is produced by a small wine farm but their wines are excellent» the waiter says. «I apologize for the crowd sitting at the table near you» he adds leaning over the table.

«No problem at all, Gigi, don’t worry about it» the notary replies in a hushed voice.

«I tried to see if they have a switch to lower down the decibel but I don’t think they do» the young boy says.

«Probably underneath their hair» I whisper.

«As soon as they call me over, I will give it another check» he says going off.

1.3 IMPULSES - THREE

After about twenty minutes, the girls stand up at last and walk to the way out. We can now hear the music in the bar, in the background.

«It is so quiet now» the notary says, relieved.

«Sorry, gentlemen, can I get you anything else? Now you can talk without raising your voices.»

«As a matter of fact, it is really quiet now, Gigi» the notary says smiling.

«What do you say, Brando, shall we have another round so that I can put an end to my delightful waiting?» he asks me.

«Yes, sure, I’d love to.»

«Excuse me Gigi, can I ask you a personal question?» the notary says.

«Sure, go ahead.»

«Brando and I were talking about the five girls sitting at the table next to us and the generational perception of human universe, especially female.»

«Yes» the waiter says, «I get it.»

«Gigi, can I ask you how old are you? You must be about twenty-five, right?»

«Twenty-four and a few months, as a matter of fact.»

«Great, you could be my son.»

«I would say so, my father is fifty-five.»

«Excellent, he is three years older than me» the notary says. «So, we needed a feedback from a peer. To make a long story short, Gigi what do you think when you are dealing with five customers like those ones?»

«In general?» the waiter asked doubtfully.

«Yes: do you find them nice, attractive, well-mannered? How do you see them?»

«Ah, I got it. I find them okay as customers: they drank and they paid for it, so it’s quite alright. Maybe a little rude, but no different from other people.»

«Fine. From a more personal point of view, you find them nice or attractive?» the notary asks.

«I wouldn’t say nice, looking at them, I wouldn’t want to hang out with them. The girls I like to go out with are different, less frivolous.»

«Attractive?» the notary asks.

«I wouldn’t say that, I don’t find them attractive: you would look at them because they were half naked.»

«Good. Thank you Gigi, and I apologize for all the questions: we just wanted to have a whole picture from three different points of view.»

«You’re welcome, no problem at all. Please allow me to ask you what conclusion did you come to? Do you find those five girls nice?»

«No, we are both in agreement» I say.

«Yes, unanimously» the notary says, «well beyond every generational gap.»

«However not all the ladies coming here to the bar are like this. There are standard, well-mannered people.»

«I have no doubts about it, Gigi: we were just having a chat, while sipping our wines and sitting next to loud and rude girls.»

«For instance, nice and mannerly people almost always come here from your office.»

«Really?» the notary asks.

«Yes, it is a statistical data. You know, I mind other people’s business, this is part of my job too. I know Mauro well too, your doorman: he is quite nice too.»

«Actually, I don’t hang out with many people from the building, I greet them in the lift, but they all look like standard people» the notary says, looking for approval off me. I acknowledge it.

«I don’t know» the waiter says again, «it came into my mind because today at lunchtime, there were two girls from your building sitting where you are sitting now: they were women, maybe, more than girls. Anyway, one of them comes here often, she is quite tall, blonde hair, not fair or platinum blonde hair, a honey colour, let’s say. A bit wacky, but nice and mannerly. I have seen the other one very few times here but she is very cheerful and kind too.»

«This gossiping about our building is very enjoyable» I say reaching for the glass.

«Where do they work, Gigi?» the notary asks.

«I don’t know exactly, it could be a holding company. Anyway, I am sure they work in the same building as yours: I saw them cross the road today, they were hugging and then they went into the building. I saw them because I was cleaning up the tables for smokers outside» he says pausing for a moment and then he goes on saying: «To tell the truth, I went out to clean them up when they went out of the bar».

«Do you follow the female customers, Gigi?» the notary says sarcastically.

«Sure I don’t» he says laughing, «just a coincidence.»

«Are you sure, Gigi?»

«Alright, maybe a little: they had such a strange way of talking among themselves, so placid and pleasant, and such a graceful bearing that got me very curious.»

«I see, Gigi. So, you wanted to make sure that their manners would be pleasant and graceful outside the bar too, just to confirm the impression that you had inside the bar» the notary added, amused.

I take a sip of my wine and I look at the glass in my hands.

«Sure» the waiter says, «my job entails a careful monitoring of our clientele behaviour.»

«I didn’t think that you were also asked to carry out further burdensome chores in work» the notary says.

«Alright, if you want to know the truth: the other lady, the one together with the blonde lady» he says, pausing with a blank look at the glass window in front of him. «Actually, I wouldn’t say she is pretty, she comes from another planet: she is so elegant, she has such a gracefulness, I don’t even know how to describe her. She is well beyond this world.»

I drink a good gulp of dry wine and I look at Gigi with his eyes lost in the darkness beyond the glass window.

«Is there someone like that in our building and we have never noticed her?» the notary asks again.

«Clearly we miss a few things going on, there in our office» I reply. «We should leave some deeds of sale and concentrate more in public relations with people from the other offices.»

«Alright now, I leave you to it and I go back to work, enough with my nonsense. I just wanted to say that not all the people coming here are rude and unpleasant».

«That’s for sure, Gigi: there are also so many nice people in the world.»

The waiter goes off.

«You see, Brando: we spend twelve hours in there and we don’t even know half the things Gigi knows.»

«You are quite right, I said it: we should do less deeds of sale and have more wild parties in the office» I reply a bit pensive.

«Let’s get back to it, my dear Brando: have you ever chased a woman in the streets?»

«I haven’t. Do you know that it could be considered harassment?»

«Yes, Gigi with his striped apron tailing two customers could be quite disturbing. Anyway, to sum it all up, if you look around, you can see that there are four or five tables like ours, but they are occupied by people who look like couples: don’t you think that it is, how can I put it, quite natural? Nevertheless, I am sure you have noticed over the years that when a new human being is born, that usually happens because two people have joined together.»

«Really? I didn’t know that children were born this way, I was still convinced that the stork brings them along: this explanation seemed plausible to me.»

«Sure, Brando, the story of our big feathered friend is not true, sorry to tell you.»

«I don’t know, I am just not happy to be with a person on a steady basis, it makes me feel that I am giving up a part of me, that is my freedom: I do think that I am not happy to be paired with someone.»

Bloody hell, the euphonic ball again: the two halves that stick together, kept together by a magnetic force.

One half that does not exist for me.

«I don’t know, Brando, your point of view does not convince me completely, it seemed to me that there is a piece missing to make sense of it: I am still doubtful. Can I ask you a stupid question?»

«As you wish, but I doubt you can ask stupid question, surprise me.»

«Do you like women?»

«Definitely.»

«In your rating of life, when you think about something nice, where would you place a person from the opposite sex?»

«Should I quickly make up a list of my priorities, putting in people from the opposite sex? Like playing golf, cars, red wine, white wine, sparkling wine, whisky, women? Something like that?» I say puzzled.

«Yes, correct. Even with less alcohol. When have you taken up golf?»

«I have never played it.»

«Exactly. Now, whereabouts is the female world?»

«I can’t make up a list now: how can I compare activities, objects and people in one list only?»

«It’s a simple hedonistic list, let’s say. Think about all the things that give you pleasure...»

«It depends on the situations.»

«You are nearly there. Are you telling me that you would rather have a good wine than an old Fiat Uno Diesel?»

«Yes, sure.»

«Do you prefer a Nebbiolo wine to a Vermentino wine?»

«Without any doubt.»

«Alright. Are you telling me that you would rather sip a good islay, on your own, at home than spending the evening with one of those five girls?»

«I don’t know, maybe if you are with them on their own, they wouldn’t be as bad: the prettiest one, maybe after dinner, two hours at the most, if she was not talking. Are you talking about an islay, a good one? One with a strong peaty tang?»

«A very strong peaty tang» the notary says.

«I think I would surrender to the whisky with a peaty tang in the end: less hassle.»

«It’s okay: I would go for it myself, with no hesitation whatsoever, but the half generation gap that separates us plays in your favour.»

The notary takes a sip of his wine and puts it back down on the table while I do the same. «Anyway, your strong list of priorities seems already unstable because of a young girl dressed like a hooker. You were referring to the girl sitting at the head of the table, with her bare shoulders, weren’t you?»

«Sure, but I don’t think I said hooker, I think I have just figured it out in my head.»

«No, I said it, don’t worry. Anyway, we have a priority list that can overturn any minute, in constant turmoil because of wine varieties, and new issues of Auto Express magazine. It could be adjusted: if you think about it, you could come up with something better.»

«Yes, I have just said the first things that have come into my mind, but I do think that I wouldn’t know anyway.»

«We are not talking about moral issues, anyway.»

«Uh, music» I interrupt him.

«Music: good, great indeed. You can see that with a little bit more commitment, the priority list improves.»

«Northern Europe, Norway» I interrupt him again.

«Anything else?» he asks.

«No, it’s enough, for the moment, I think.»

«Fine: let’s add it all up to the priority list. The point is another one, it is not the priority list itself. I mean, what is the connection in this priority list?»

«I am not too sure: alcohol, maybe. And some music to listen to travelling by car around northern Europe. Can you see the connection in all of this?»

«Yes, Brando. Why do you like music?»

«I love listening to it, I love the sounds put together properly.»

«Excellent. Why do you like northern Europe?»

«I love the scenery, the tranquillity. I am drawn to those places. I feel a bit of a northerner myself, as if I come from there: it is probably the story of the fennoscandian genes.»

«What about the alcohol?»

«I don’t know: it gives me a sense of peace, it relaxes me, when I feel the need to relax and get away from it all, I think it is a useful thing in those situations. Just the taste of it...»

«Here, we are getting there. Passion, attraction, desire: they are emotions that everybody feels. Do you know how all these feelings together are called?»

«In one word, do you mean? Are we heading back to lexical semantics?»

«No, it’s not that difficult: they are called love.»

I look at the glass and the bubbles whirling and spiralling upwards. I take a sip and I look at the notary staring at me.

«Fine. Love is attraction, passion and desire: right... Anyway, where is the female sphere?»

«Sorry but what do you match with love? If you think about love, what is the first thing that gets into your mind?»

«Instinctively? I don’t know. I would say a woman. I associate love with a woman.»

«You see, we have gone back to our primary list. It is not only at the top, but it takes up all the positions.»

I grab my glass again while I realize that this rosé liquid is not enough to deal with the notary, a stronger chemical substance is now necessary, as I had already considered in the afternoon, right after the discussion over the slut.

«I got lost a little in the logics of the primary list. Passion and feelings trigger everything and I would agree with that, but what if passion was not connected to the female sphere? People can be passionate about going fast with the four wheels underneath them, propelled by a four- stroke engine; for sure that is pure passion, attraction, desire to meet or overcome one’s own limits. If we put the three feelings together, we get love: love for speed, love to run on a stripe of tarmac. It’s okay so far and I think it is all romantic but what has the attraction for a woman or for another person got to do with all this?»