Secrets In Sydney

CHAPTER SIX

TOM stretched out in his bed, feeling completely sated. The musky smell of sex, the sweet scent of Hayley and the warmth from her body circled him, and he realised he hadn’t felt this relaxed since—Hell, he had no clue how long it had been and at that moment he didn’t care. He just was. He grinned at the play of light and dark in the room, shadows cast by the morning light. They’d made it to his apartment—just. Somehow he’d got his trembling hand to insert the key into the lock and had managed to turn it and open the door. In a tumble of clothes, they’d kicked off shoes, popped buttons, got arms tangled up in sleeves and shucked pants until finally they’d fallen into his bed and come together in a rush of blood-pounding desire and screaming lust—hot, fast and breath-stealing. Nothing about it had been slow. Nothing about it had been measured. It had been all about need—his and hers—two people equal in their quest to lose themselves in each other, taking more than giving.

Now, as his lungs refilled with air and his blood came back to his brain, the full impact of what had just happened hit him. He had a woman in his bed. A woman in his apartment. Before he’d gone blind, he’d always had sex with a woman at her place. That way he had been the one in control. He could get up and leave when he was ready, sometimes before he was ready if the hospital called him out—but either way his departure took place prior to the woman snuggling up and falling asleep on his shoulder. He’d always mumble something about ‘work’ and ‘calling later’, which, of course, he never did. Work had always come first because it protected him from tumbling back to poverty and the griminess of his childhood.

The mattress moved and he reached his hand out to touch Hayley’s silky hair, surprised at the need he had to feel her presence.

You never went in for touchy-feely stuff.

The last time I had sex I wasn’t blind. This is my way of seeing her.

If you say so.

He blocked out his internal argument. ‘You okay, Hayley?’

‘I’m fine. Why?’

He heard the smile in her voice. ‘It was pretty fast.’

She gave a throaty laugh. ‘Fast, but good, I hope.’

‘Very good.’ And it had been. Intoxicatingly good, and his blood still sang with her taste and touch. The buzz reminded him of the high he’d always got from riding his 1000 cc motorcycle fast along the coast with the throb of the powerful engine vibrating through him, and the wind and salt pounding him. It was amplified exhilaration and totally addictive. But as much as he’d loved the speed of his motorcycle and his sports car, he’d also enjoyed long, leisurely walks. That had given him a totally different buzz and that was the one he wanted now. He knew the urgent feel of Hayley’s arms and legs around him, the hot press of her body against his, and her gasps of breath as she begged for him. This time he wanted to feel and hear her shatter from a long, slow build-up. From a seduction so unhurried in its approach that it would sneak up unannounced and render her deliciously helpless with its power. And then he’d join her.

Hayley felt Tom’s fingers in her hair and the unhurried way they explored its length until they reached her scalp and traced the width of her forehead. The touch was gentle as opposed to urgent, which was how it had been from the moment they’d stumbled into his apartment. How she’d managed to stand next to him in the hall, watching him miss the door lock three times without lunging for the key and ripping it out of his hand and slamming it into the lock, still amazed her. Both of them had been crazy with lust and had given themselves over to it completely. Now the exhilaration was fading and exhaustion from her huge night at The Harbour was sending out its cloying tendrils. His fingers soothed and her eyes fluttered shut.

‘What happened here?’

Her eyes flew open as she felt his fingers on her hairline, caressing the small scar that nestled there, hidden under her hair. No one ever saw it and yet Tom, who couldn’t see, had found it. She looked up at him as he stared down at her through beautiful yet sightless eyes, knowing she was only a shadow to him. ‘I fell off my bike when I was nine.’

He nodded slowly as if he was compiling a picture of her. ‘What colour’s your hair?’

‘I say it’s brown but my hairdresser insists it’s chestnut. However, we both agree that it’s dead straight.’

His mouth tweaked up in a half-smile. ‘That I knew. Not one single curl snagged my fingers.’ He breathed deeply as he ran strands of her hair across his face. ‘It smells like lime and coconut.’

Her short laugh showed her embarrassment. ‘I have a bit of a thing for body lotions, perfumes and shampoo, but I also know that often patients are scared before surgery so I think I should smell nice for them.’

He pressed his lips to her forehead. ‘I appreciate it.’

A silly quiver of happiness shoved her embarrassment away.

His palms cupped her cheeks and his thumbs met at the bridge of her nose. He stroked outwards with a delicious amount of pressure—not firm but not soft either— and she let his touch roll over her, stripping her muscles of all their tension as she sank into the mattress. She’d never been touched quite like this. It was an almost reverent exploration that put sighted lovers in the shade. His hands brushed her eyebrows and then outlined her closed eyes.

Again Tom’s voice called her back. ‘Are they chestnut too?’

She struggled to concentrate as his fingers sent rivers of relaxation washing through her. ‘What?’

‘Your eyebrows. Are they chestnut?’

It seemed odd to be describing herself—almost vain—but she’d enjoyed watching Tom and studying him over the last ten days and this was his turn. ‘No, they’re darker and so are my eyelashes. With my brown eyes and long brown lashes my sister used to—’ She bit off the words. She didn’t want to think about Amy right now. This wasn’t the real world with all its pain and heartache. This was pure escapism.

‘Call you a Jersey cow?’

She gasped in surprise. ‘How did you know?’

He grinned. ‘Big brown eyes and long, thick lashes. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to work that one out.’

His thumbs continued to explore her face. ‘Your nose is cuter than a Jersey cow’s.’

‘Gee, thanks.’ She laughed half-indignantly and then reached out her hand, running it along the length of his very distinctive nose and lingering on the slight bump. ‘Mine hasn’t been broken.’

‘You probably grew up on the Northern Beaches.’ It was said without rancour, but it inferred that her childhood had been easier than his.

She didn’t confirm her middle-class upbringing because she knew more than anyone that money didn’t protect a child from death or a family from loss. Instead, she let him capture her hand from his nose, place it by her side and then kiss her.

Deep beyond her tiredness, her body stirred.

The length of his body edged hers lightly, moving against it and then away with each breath he took. His hands brushed her chin and her neck, and then he stroked her collarbone with a feather-soft touch, lingering on the slightly raised area on the right-hand side. ‘The bike accident?’

A delicious tingle spread around her body, demolishing the fatigue and waking her up in the most wonderful way. ‘Who knew my body was a road map of my life? There’s an appendix scar further down.’

‘Poor Hayley.’

He kissed the spot where the bone had knitted, his tongue caressing her skin, and her legs twitched as the shimmers joined together into one wide river of glorious sensation. Then his hands reached her breasts and his touch became almost reverent. Cupping them, he took their weight and a deep line of concentration carved into his brow.

She was instantly self-conscious, wondering what was wrong with her breasts. ‘What?’

‘They’re just as I imagined.’

She didn’t understand. ‘But you’ve touched them before.’

He smiled a knowing smile. ‘That was a mere brush of the hand, which to a blind man is nothing more than a passing glance. Now, this …’ his thumb stroked her nipple ‘… is really seeing them.’

A hot arrow of longing darted straight down between her legs and her body jerked against his.

This time he grinned widely. ‘If you like that, you might just enjoy this.’

His mouth closed around the areola of her other breast while his thumb continued to brush the nipple. Her breasts tightened and her nipples puckered, desperately seeking more. Her breath hitched in her throat as showers of colour and ribbons of heat followed, making her head thrash against the pillow. She never wanted it to stop and her hands plunged into his hair in a combination of wanting to touch him and not wanting him to stop what he was doing.

His wicked laugh rained down on her as he dawdled his tongue and his hands down her belly, stroking her, tasting her and branding her with his stubble until her body was quivering and slick with throbbing need for him.

Her arms flailed out toward the bedside table and she managed to gasp, ‘Condoms.’

He shook his head as his fingers reached the only thatch of hair on her body that was curly. ‘We’re not ready for that just yet.’

She stared at his face as she tried hard to bring her eyes into focus. ‘We’re … not?’

‘No.’ His fingers sneaked slowly lower and lower with blissful intent, and then he slid one inside her. Then another.

She gasped with delight and instantly tightened around his fingers before closing her eyes and joining the ride to oblivion. Nothing existed except the ever-increasing ball of sensation that he was building inside her with his talented hands.

Suddenly, his fingers stopped and then withdrew.

Shocked surprise and begging need snapped her eyes open, fast. ‘Don’t stop.’ She heard the desperation in her voice and didn’t care. ‘Please, don’t stop.’

His face was wreathed in one enormous smile that crinkled the edges of his eyes, which now glowed with a light she’d never seen before. With his other hand he drew a lazy circle on her lower belly. ‘Just tell me, what’s the colour of the hair down here?’

She heard words, but her completely melted brain frantically scrambled, trying to find some neurons that would still connect. It tried, but the colour eluded her. ‘You’re a shocking tease, Tom Jordan. Does it even matter?’

‘Yes. It completes my picture of you.’

The tenderness in his words touched her and the permanent emptiness around her heart shrank a little. She pressed her hand against his chest and the almost black hair that rested there. ‘This colour.’

‘Beautiful.’

He moved and she felt his hair lightly brush her belly and then his lips pressing kisses on her inner thigh before finding the perfect place.

Deep within, her scream of need ignited and she cried out for him, wanting him to fill her, aching for his width, but then her body took over, riding the pounding waves of wonder, sweeping her higher and higher until the ball of bliss exploded, flinging her far beyond herself to a place she’d never been.

When she floated back to earth, she pulled his face to hers and kissed him. ‘Thank you. Now I want to give you the same gift.’

‘And you can.’

He rolled her over so he was under her and then he pressed a foil square into her hand. She rolled the condom over his erection, marvelling at his long, silky length, and she kept stroking him, loving the feel of him against her palm.

He groaned and his face flushed. ‘Listening to you come almost undid me so if you want the full experience you need to stop doing that right now.’

‘Really?’ She leaned forward, letting her hair sweep across his chest, surprised but loving the fact that her orgasm had turned him on when she’d seen it as a selfless gift from him.

He grabbed her buttocks and lifted her. ‘Believe me. Really.’

A surge of power filled her—her femininity rising to dominate for the very first time in her life. This sightless man desired her and wanted her, and just as he’d held the key to demolishing all her restraint, she now held the key to his. She also knew that by giving him release she too would receive it. Lowering her body slowly, she felt herself opening up layer upon layer to take him, to absorb him, and then she closed tightly around him.

His guttural groan filled the room and then his hands gripped her hips. In a rhythm as old as time they moved together, driving each other upward, taking and giving, needing and demanding, until they both cried out with the glory of touching the stars.

Warmth cocooned Hayley. Warmth, cosiness and blissful rest. Everything around her was fuzzy—a sort of soft focus—and she had an overwhelming feeling of being safe. She didn’t know how she’d come to be on a beach, lying on a large and lovely soft towel, or how long she’d even been here, but it didn’t matter. She had sunshine on her back, the soporific lapping sounds of a gentle tide against the sand, and the sleep she always craved beckoned her with an addictive serenade. The Sandman with his dancing eyes said, ‘Sunshine so you can sleep in a lovely pale red glow. I did this just for you. You know you want to sleep so close your eyes and leave the rest to me.’

And she was so very tired. Chronically tired from years of not getting enough sleep and this was all so perfect. She let her book fall from her hands as she laid her head down and then she let her eyelids fall shut.

The promised pink glow surrounded her and all her stress and fatigue rolled away, absorbed by the heat of the sand. The beguiling Sandman was right. This was the perfect place to sleep. Why had it taken so long to find this beach? She might never leave. As she stretched out with a sigh, the pink glow deepened to a claret-red. She fell deeper into sleep. A shiver ran along her spine as a cool breeze sneaked in around her back. She rolled over, chasing the sun, but it vanished, leaving darkness in its place. Her hand shot out, grasping for the heat of the sand, but instead of warm silica and quartz crystals she touched cold, lifeless marble. She pulled her hand back in fright as the inky darkness intensified, roaring in, settling over her like the membrane of suffocating plastic and denying her breath.

Her heart slammed against her chest as panic screamed in her ears. She gasped for breath, desperately trying to flee the dark and find the light. The more she fought the dark, the stronger its grip on her became until it pinned her down, trapping her in its clutches. She tried to stand but her legs were tied and everything she touched burned her with desolate cold.

Get out. Get out now before you die.

Panting hard, she gave an almighty push and kicked hard. Her eyes flew open and she realised she was now awake—abruptly jolted out of a nightmare. Her tight chest formed a band around her and she could hardly move any air and her head spun while her fingertips tingled.

Breathe in, breathe out. Count it in, count it out. Gradually, her eyes adjusted to the dark. Her skin was drenched in sweat, her legs felt constricted and slowly she realised she was in a bed and tangled up in a sheet and duvet. A tiny chink of light squeezed through a small gap at the closing point of the curtains.

Curtains? She never closed the curtains during the day.

And then she remembered. She was in Tom’s bed.

Her arm reached out and patted cold sheets. Alone in Tom’s bed.

Kicking her legs free of the rope-like sheet and pushing the duvet back, she jumped up and whipped open the curtains. Sunshine flooded the room and she fell back onto the bed and pushed herself up onto a pile of pillows. She was safe. A half laugh and half groan rumbled up from deep inside her and she automatically turned toward the bedside table, seeking a clock. But no green or red digital display greeted her. Instead, there was a large black cube with a big button on top. She pressed it and then jumped in surprise when an automated male voice said, “It’s three-seventeen p.m., Wednesday, August nineteen.”

She’d been asleep for seven hours? That totally stunned her. Despite the nightmare wake-up, she’d slept soundly, and in a foreign bed. She never slept very well and what sleep she was able to get always occurred in her own bed with the blinds wide open. It had been light when she’d fallen asleep and Tom must have closed the curtains for her when he’d got up, thinking it would help her sleep.

Mind-blowing sex was why you slept so well.

She grinned like a child who’d just been given a lollipop. Tom had been the most amazing lover and going by his moans and groans and panting breath she hadn’t been too shoddy either. She could feel the ache of muscles that hadn’t been used for a long time and just the thought of what had made them ache made her tingle.

Three o’clock. She had four hours before she had to be at work. It was time to get up and bring Tom back to bed for an hour or so before she had to head home and get ready for work. Maybe they could even grab an early dinner. Ignoring the crumpled scrubs on the floor, she whipped the sheet off the bed. Wrapping it around herself like a strapless gown, she was aiming for a seductive look—or, for Tom, a seductive feel—and she walked out into the open-plan room saying, ‘Thanks for letting me sleep. I … Oh.’

The same young man she’d seen the first morning she’d met Tom was sitting at the large table in front of a laptop with a couple of textbooks open next to him. His face wore a wide grin as he stared at her, appreciating the look.

‘Hello.’ His blue eyes rested on her cleavage.

She gripped the top of the sheet more tightly and pulled the trailing section forward, making sure her back and legs were fully covered. Her chin shot up in an attempt to make her look a lot more in control than she felt. ‘Hi. I’m Hayley.’

‘Yeah, I know. Tom said.’ He kept on grinning as if he’d witnessed exactly what had gone down in the bedroom seven hours earlier.

Oh, God, shoot me now. ‘And you’re …?’

He jumped to his feet as if her question had suddenly woken him up and kick-started his manners. ‘Jared. Jared Perkins.’

‘Jared.’ She took a breath to slow down her delivery and keep a handle on her embarrassment. ‘Is Tom home?’

He shook his sandy-coloured head. ‘No.’

‘Are you expecting him back soon?’

‘He’s at work.’ He picked up a printed piece of paper and consulted it. ‘He’s got an evening lecture and I’m picking him up at seven.’

‘Right.’ Her brain started churning over times and dates. Tom finished work at seven and she started work at seven. ‘Did he leave a message?’

‘No.’

Disappointment slugged her and she tried to brush it away. It wasn’t like they’d made an arrangement to meet. Rational thought zoomed in, making her practical. She was standing dressed in nothing but a sheet for a man who wasn’t even here. It was time to go home. She ducked back into the bedroom, dumped the sheet, pulled on her clothes and ran her fingers through her hair before snagging it back into a ponytail with a hair-tie she found in her pocket. She didn’t look in the mirror because it would be far too depressing and gave up a quick wish that she didn’t meet anyone she knew on the walk home, which was a sure-fire guarantee that she would.

When she returned to the living area, Jared was sitting back at the table, reading one of the textbooks. In his bright-coloured board shorts and surfing T-shirt, he looked as if he belonged more on Bondi Beach than inside, studying. Who was he? Tom’s brother? Nephew? She realised she didn’t know anything about Tom except he’d been a neurosurgeon and now he wasn’t.

‘Do you live here, Jared?’

‘Nah. Wouldn’t mind it, though.’ He swung his arm out toward the balcony. ‘It’s an awesome view.’

‘It is.’ What exactly was his connection to Tom? ‘Do you work for Tom?’

He shook his head emphatically. ‘No, but I do stuff for him. Driving, shopping, anything he wants.’

She guessed Jared was in his late teens or early twenties and his broad accent and lack of social etiquette hinted at the possibility that he came from a less affluent suburb. Being on call for a taciturn blind man without any financial incentive struck her as unusual. ‘That’s very good of you.’

Jared’s shoulders rolled back and he sat up straighter, as if she’d just offended him. ‘No, it isn’t. Tom’s an awesome bloke and he saved my life.’ The sincerity in his words put her rightfully back in her place.

She aimed for a conciliatory tone. ‘Everyone at The Harbour says he was a brilliant surgeon.’

‘Yeah.’ He fiddled with the edge of the textbook, folding up the corner of the page.

Hayley waited for him to say more, to say exactly what operation Tom had performed on him, but he didn’t elaborate and instead stuck his finger back on a line of text in the book and stared at it with a deep frown.

Okay. ‘I’ll leave you to it.’ She walked to the door and had her hand on the handle when Jared said, ‘You any good at chemistry?’

She stopped and turned to face him. ‘Excuse me?’

‘Chemistry.’ His voice rose slightly with aggression, and his previously friendly and open face tightened. He picked up a sheaf of papers covered in red pen and waved them at her. ‘The teacher says if I want to get into medicine I need an A and Tom says it’s easy but it bloody isn’t. You’re a doctor, right? So you get chemistry.’

His blue eyes held the duelling expressions of ‘I’m a macho guy’ with ‘I need help, Mum’. She realised it had cost him something to ask her. Just like she knew it cost Tom something every time he had to ask for help. She was struck by the similarity and she knew she couldn’t ignore his request.

She walked back to the table and dropped her bag on a chair. ‘Can you make coffee, Jared?’

‘Yeah. Tom’s got a machine.’

She smiled. ‘Good. You make me a latte and I’ll read what’s causing you problems and see if I can help. Deal?’

Relief washed over his face. ‘Deal.’

‘If we grab some take-away, Jared, I can help you with that chemistry homework when we get home,’ Tom offered as he fiddled with the seat-belt buckle, finally sliding it into the holder with a snap.

‘Thanks, but I got it sorted. But if you’re buying, I’ll stay for take-away as long as it’s pizza.’

‘You finished the chemistry?’ Tom wished his voice hadn’t risen in surprise. He knew how hard Jared was working and chemistry wasn’t something that came easily to him, but he had dogged determination and that often served a person better than natural ability without the drive to succeed.

‘Don’t sound so surprised, old man. You’re not the only person good at this stuff.’

Jared’s cocky tone was in stark contrast to the down-in-the-mouth voice he’d used earlier in the day when Tom had told him he could help him, but not until after work. He instinctively knew something else was now at play. ‘Enough of the old man, kiddo.’ He hit the word, teasing the youth back. ‘So, just like that, you totally understand electrochemical series order, which five hours ago had you ready to quit school?’

‘Yep.’

‘Good for you.’

A moment of silence passed between them and then Jared said, ‘Hayley helped.’

Hayley.

Hayley, who’d been fast asleep in his bed when he’d left his apartment. He’d left it way earlier than necessary because he hadn’t wanted to be there when she woke up. Hell, he’d even invited Jared over under the guise of a fast internet connection and a quiet place to study well away from the noise of younger siblings, but the invitation had been all about Jared being in the apartment with him if Hayley woke up before he left for work. Insurance so they wouldn’t be alone together again, because if they had been he didn’t trust himself not to take her back to bed.

Blood pooled in his lap. Hell, just the thought of her had him wanting to retract his decision, but when he’d been sighted he’d never slept with a woman more than once. Well, not since he’d been a second-year registrar. He’d had one short-lived relationship with Karen, a radiographer, but he’d found within three months of dating that she’d had expectations of being considered first in his life, well ahead of study and his job. It had been a distraction he hadn’t wanted or needed. At first putting study first had been all about fear of failure and fear of poverty, but then it had become so much more and nothing and no one had been allowed to come ahead of medicine and his plan to become a neurosurgeon. He’d owed Mick that. He’d owed Mick and Carol everything. Once he’d qualified he’d set his sights on heading his own department. Work had always come first and from the moment he and Karen had parted, he’d only ever spent one night with any woman.

The fact he’d achieved the pinnacles of surgical success and had now lost it all didn’t seem enough of a reason to change his habits. Financially he was secure and the threat of poverty was long gone but, hell, he was still learning how to be blind. He didn’t need any distractions from conquering the dark and living an independent and meaningful life.

‘Hey, Tom, as well as being totally hot, she’s an awesome teacher.’

Jared’s enthusiasm for Hayley rang out loud and clear and Tom’s jaw instinctively tightened. ‘I’d appreciate it if you referred to her in terms of a surgeon and a teacher.’

‘Sorry. I’m not gonna steal her from you, dude. I’d never do that.’

The apology in the young man’s voice was unmistakeable and Tom regretted being short with him. He still wasn’t totally certain why he had been. Yes, this morning had been amazing, but now it was over.

‘Besides,’ Jared continued, ‘she’s a bit old for me, but she’s perfect for a bloke like you who’s nearly forty.’ He made the number sound ancient.

Tom gave a strangled laugh. ‘I’m thirty-nine, thank you, and if you keep on about it I’ll buy Chinese instead of pizza.’

‘You’re the same age as my dad.’ The teasing had vanished from Jared’s voice, leaving only regret.

Tom flinched. He hadn’t meant to remind the boy of his absent father or of his tough home life. He turned toward the sound of his voice and smiled. ‘I’m thinking two large La Dolce Vita specials with the lot.’

‘And a garlic pizza. Order them now and make sure they throw in the gelato because last time you let them rip you off and you don’t want me saying you’re getting old and soft.’

Tom’s mouth tweaked up into a smile. ‘Just drive the damn car, Jared.’