CHAPTER VI
After breakfast the next morning I took my hat to go out when my father, looking at me, and seeing by my countenance that I had not slept, said gently,—
“My dear Pisistratus, you have not tried my medicine yet.”
“What medicine, sir?”
“Robert Hall.”
“No, indeed, not yet,” said I, smiling.
“Do so, my son, before you go out; depend on it you will enjoy your walk more.”
I confess that it was with some reluctance I obeyed. I went back to my own room and sat resolutely down to my task. Are there any of you, my readers, who have not read the “Life of Robert Hall?” If so, in the words of the great Captain Cuttle, “When found, make a note of it.” Never mind what your theological opinion is,—Episcopalian, Presbyterian, Baptist, Paedobaptist, Independent, Quaker, Unitarian, Philosopher, Freethinker,—send for Robert Hall! Yea, if there exists yet on earth descendants of the arch-heretics which made such a noise in their day,—men who believe, with Saturninus, that the world was made by seven angels; or with Basilides, that there are as many heavens as there are days in the year; or with the Nicolaitanes, that men ought to have their wives in common (plenty of that sect still, especially in the Red Republic); or with their successors, the Gnostics, who believed in Jaldaboath; or with the Carpacratians, that the world was made by the devil; or with the Cerinthians and Ebionites and Nazarites (which last discovered that the name of Noah’s wife was Ouria, and that she set the ark on fire); or with the Valentinians, who taught that there were thirty AEones, ages or worlds, born out of Profundity (Bathos), male, and Silence, female; or with the Marcites, Colarbasii, and Heracleonites (who still kept up that bother about AEones, Mr. Profundity and Mrs. Silence); or with the Ophites, who are said to have worshipped the serpent; or the Cainites, who ingeniously found out a reason for honoring Judas, because he foresaw what good would come to men by betraying our Saviour; or with the Sethites, who made Seth a part of the divine substance; or with the Archonticks, Ascothyctae, Cerdonians, Marcionites, the disciples of Apelles, and Severus (the last was a teetotaller, and said wine was begot by Satan!), or of Tatian, who thought all the descendants of Adam were irretrievably damned except themselves (some of those Tatiani are certainly extant!), or the Cataphrygians, who were also called Tascodragitae, because they thrust their forefingers up their nostrils to show their devotion; or the Pepuzians, Quintilians, and Artotyrites; or—But no matter. If I go through all the follies of men in search of the truth, I shall never get to the end of my chapter or back to Robert Hall; whatever, then, thou art, orthodox or heterodox, send for the “Life of Robert Hall.” It is the life of a man that it does good to manhood itself to contemplate.
I had finished the biography, which is not long, and was musing over it, when I heard the Captain’s cork-leg upon the stairs. I opened the door for him, and he entered, book in hand, as I also, book in hand, stood ready to receive him.
“Well, sir,” said Roland, seating himself, “has the prescription done you any good?”
“Yes, uncle,—great.”
“And me too. By Jupiter, Sisty, that same Hall was a fine fellow! I wonder if the medicine has gone through the same channels in both? Tell me, first, how it has affected you.”
“Imprimis, then, my dear uncle, I fancy that a book like this must do good to all who live in the world in the ordinary manner, by admitting us into a circle of life of which I suspect we think but little. Here is a man connecting himself directly with a heavenly purpose, and cultivating considerable faculties to that one end; seeking to accomplish his soul as far as he can, that he may do most good on earth, and take a higher existence up to heaven; a man intent upon a sublime and spiritual duty: in short, living as it were in it, and so filled with the consciousness of immortality, and so strong in the link between God and man, that, without any affected stoicism, without being insensible to pain,—rather, perhaps, from a nervous temperament, acutely feeling it,—he yet has a happiness wholly independent of it. It is impossible not to be thrilled with an admiration that elevates while it awes you, in reading that solemn ‘Dedication of himself to God.’ This offering of ‘soul and body, time, health, reputation, talents,’ to the divine and invisible Principle of Good, calls us suddenly to contemplate the selfishness of our own views and hopes, and awakens us from the egotism that exacts all and resigns nothing.
“But this book has mostly struck upon the chord in my own heart in that characteristic which my father indicated as belonging to all biography. Here is a life of remarkable fulness, great study, great thought, and great action; and yet,” said I, coloring, “how small a place those feelings which have tyrannized over me and made all else seem blank and void, hold in that life! It is not as if the man were a cold and hard ascetic; it is easy to see in him, not only remarkable tenderness and warm affections, but strong self-will, and the passion of all vigorous natures. Yes; I understand better now what existence in a true man should be.”
“All that is very well said,” quoth the Captain, “but it did not strike me. What I have seen in this book is courage. Here is a poor creature rolling on the carpet with agony; from childhood to death tortured by a mysterious incurable malady,—a malady that is described as ‘an internal apparatus of torture;’ and who does, by his heroism, more than bear it,—he puts it out of power to affect him; and though (here is the passage) ‘his appointment by day and by night was incessant pain, yet high enjoyment was, notwithstanding, the law of his existence.’ Robert Hall reads me a lesson,—me, an old soldier, who thought myself above taking lessons,—in courage, at least. And as I came to that passage when, in the sharp paroxysms before death, he says, ‘I have not complained, have I, sir? And I won’t complain!’—when I came to that passage I started up and cried, ‘Roland de Caxton, thou hast been a coward! and, an thou hadst had thy deserts, thou hadst been cashiered, broken, and drummed out of the regiment long ago!’”
“After all, then, my father was not so wrong,—he placed his guns right, and fired a good shot.”
“He must have been from six to nine degrees above the crest of the parapet,” said my uncle thoughtfully, “which, I take it, is the best elevation, both for shot and shells in enfilading a work.”
“What say you then, Captain,—up with our knapsacks, and on with the march?”
“Right about—face!” cried my uncle, as erect as a column.
“No looking back, if we can help it.”
“Full in the front of the enemy. ‘Up, Guards, and at ‘em!’”
“‘England expects every man to do his duty!’”
“Cypress or laurel!” cried my uncle, waving the book over his head.
CHAPTER VII
I went out, and to see Francis Vivian; for on leaving Mr. Trevanion I was not without anxiety for my new friend’s future provision. But Vivian was from home, and I strolled from his lodgings into the suburbs on the other side of the river, and began to meditate seriously on the best course now to pursue. In quitting my present occupations I resigned prospects far more brilliant and fortunes far more rapid than I could ever hope to realize in any other entrance into life. But I felt the necessity, if I desired to keep steadfast to that more healthful frame of mind I had obtained, of some manly and continuous labor, some earnest employment. My thoughts flew back to the university; and the quiet of its cloisters—which, until I had been blinded by the glare of the London world, and grief had somewhat dulled the edge of my quick desires and hopes, had seemed to me cheerless and unfaltering—took an inviting aspect. It presented what I needed most,—a new scene, a new arena, a partial return into boyhood; repose for passions prematurely raised; activity for the reasoning powers in fresh directions. I had not lost my time in London: I had kept up, if not studies purely classical, at least the habits of application; I had sharpened my general comprehension and augmented my resources. Accordingly, when I returned home, I resolved to speak to my father. But I found he had forestalled me; and on entering, my mother drew me upstairs into her room, with a smile kindled by my smile, and told me that she and her Austin had been thinking that it was best that I should leave London as soon as possible; that my father found he could now dispense with the library of the Museum for some months; that the time for which they had taken their lodgings would be up in a few days: that the summer was far advanced, town odious, the country beautiful,—in a word, we were to go home. There I could prepare myself for Cambridge till the long vacation was over; and, my mother added hesitatingly, and with a prefatory caution to spare my health, that my father, whose income could ill afford the requisite allowance to me, counted on my soon lightening his burden by getting a scholarship. I felt how much provident kindness there was in all this,—even in that hint of a scholarship, which was meant to rouse my faculties and spur me, by affectionate incentives, to a new ambition. I was not less delighted than grateful.
“But poor Roland,” said I, “and little Blanche,—will they come with us?”
“I fear not,” said my mother; “for Roland is anxious to get back to his tower, and in a day or two he will be well enough to move.”
“Do you not think, my dear mother, that, somehow or other, this lost son of his had something to do with Roland’s illness,—that the illness was as much mental as physical?”
“I have no doubt of it, Sisty. What a sad, bad heart that young man must have!”
“My uncle seems to have abandoned all hope of finding him in London; otherwise, ill as he has been, I am sure we could not have kept him at home. So he goes back to the old tower. Poor man, he must be dull enough there! We must contrive to pay him a visit. Does Blanche ever speak of her brother?”
“No; for it seems they were not brought up much together,—at all events, she does not remember him. How lovely she is! Her mother must surely have been very handsome.”
“She is a pretty child, certainly, though in a strange style of beauty,—such immense eyes!—and affectionate, and loves Roland as she ought.”
And here the conversation dropped.
Our plans being thus decided, it was necessary that I should lose no time in seeing Vivian and making some arrangement for the future. His manner had lost so much of its abruptness that I thought I could venture to recommend him personally to Trevanion; and I knew, after what had passed, that Trevanion would make a point to oblige me. I resolved to consult my father about it. As yet I had either never found or never made the opportunity to talk to my father on the subject, he had been so occupied; and if he had proposed to see my new friend, what answer could I have made, in the teeth of Vivian’s cynic objections? However, as we were now going away, that last consideration ceased to be of importance; and, for the first, the student had not yet entirely settled back to his books. I therefore watched the time when my father walked down to the Museum, and, slipping my arm in his, I told him, briefly and rapidly, as we went along, how I had formed this strange acquaintance, and how I was now situated. The story did not interest my father quite so much as I expected, and he did not understand all the complexities of Vivian’s character,—how could he?—for he answered briefly, “I should think that, for a young man apparently without a sixpence, and whose education seems so imperfect, any resource in Trevanion must be most temporary and uncertain. Speak to your Uncle Jack: he can find him some place, I have no doubt,—perhaps a readership in a printer’s office, or a reporter’s place on some journal, if he is fit for it. But if you want to steady him, let it be something regular.”
Therewith my father dismissed the matter and vanished through the gates of the Museum. Readership to a printer, reportership on a journal, for a young gentleman with the high notions and arrogant vanity of Francis Vivian,—his ambition already soaring far beyond kid gloves and a cabriolet! The idea was hopeless; and, perplexed and doubtful, I took my way to Vivian’s lodgings. I found him at home and unemployed, standing by his window with folded arms, and in a state of such revery that he was not aware of my entrance till I had touched him on the shoulder.
“Ha!” said he then, with one of his short, quick, impatient sighs, “I thought you had given me up and forgotten me; but you look pale and harassed. I could almost think you had grown thinner within the last few days.”
“Oh! never mind me, Vivian; I have come to speak of yourself. I have left Trevanion; it is settled that I should go to the University, and we all quit town in a few days.”
“In a few days!—all! Who are ‘all’?”
“My family,—father, mother, uncle, cousin, and myself. But, my dear fellow, now let us think seriously what is best to be done for you. I can present you to Trevanion.”
“Ha!”
“But Trevanion is a hard, though an excellent man, and, moreover, as he is always changing the subjects that engross him, in a month or so he may have nothing to give you. You said you would work,—will you consent not to complain if the work cannot be done in kid gloves? Young men who have risen high in the world have begun, it is well known, as reporters to the press. It is a situation of respectability, and in request, and not easy to obtain, I fancy; but still—”
Vivian interrupted me hastily.
“Thank you a thousand times! But what you say confirms a resolution I had taken before you came. I shall make it up with my family and return home.”
“Oh, I am so really glad. How wise in you!”
Vivian turned away his head abruptly.
“Your pictures of family life and domestic peace, you see,” he said, “seduced me more than you thought. When do you leave town?”
“Why, I believe, early next week.”
“So soon,” said Vivian, thoughtfully. “Well, perhaps I may ask you yet to introduce me to Mr. Trevanion; for who knows?—my family and I may fall out again. But I will consider. I think I have heard you say that this Trevanion is a very old friend of your father’s or uncle’s?”
“He, or rather Lady Ellinor, is an old friend of both.”
“And therefore would listen to your recommendations of me. But perhaps I may not need them. So you have left—left of your own accord—a situation that seemed more enjoyable, I should think, than rooms in a college. Left, why did you leave?”
And Vivian fixed his bright eyes full and piercingly on mine.
“It was only for a time, for a trial, that I was there,” said I, evasively; “out at nurse, as it were, till the Alma Mater opened her arms,—alma indeed she ought to be to my father’s son.”
Vivian looked unsatisfied with my explanation, but did not question me further. He himself was the first to turn the conversation, and he did this with more affectionate cordiality than was common to him. He inquired into our general plans, into the probabilities of our return to town, and drew from me a description of our rural Tusculum. He was quiet and subdued; and once or twice I thought there was a moisture in those luminous eyes. We parted with more of the unreserve and fondness of youthful friendship—at least on my part, and seemingly on his—than had yet endeared our singular intimacy; for the cement of cordial attachment had been wanting to an intercourse in which one party refused all confidence, and the other mingled distrust and fear with keen interest and compassionate admiration.
That evening, before lights were brought in, my father, turning to me, abruptly asked if I had seen my friend, and what he was about to do.
“He thinks of returning to his family,” said I.
Roland, who had seemed dozing, winced uneasily.
“Who returns to his family?” asked the Captain.
“Why, you must know,” said my father, “that Sisty has fished up a friend of whom he can give no account that would satisfy a policeman, and whose fortunes he thinks himself under the necessity of protecting. You are very lucky that he has not picked your pockets, Sisty; but I dare say he has. What’s his name?”
“Vivian,” said I,—“Francis Vivian.”
“A good name and a Cornish,” said my father. “Some derive it from the Romans,—Vivianus; others from a Celtic word which means—”
“Vivian!” interrupted Roland. “Vivian!—I wonder if it be the son of Colonel Vivian.”
“He is certainly a gentleman’s son,” said I; “but he never told me what his family and connections were.”
“Vivian,” repeated my uncle,—“poor Colonel Vivian! So the young man is going to his father. I have no doubt it is the same. Ah!—”
“What do you know of Colonel Vivian or his son?” said I. “Pray, tell me; I am so interested in this young man.”
“I know nothing of either, except by gossip,” said my uncle, moodily. “I did hear that Colonel Vivian, an excellent officer and honorable man, had been in—in—” (Roland’s voice faltered) “in great grief about his son, whom, a mere boy, he had prevented from some improper marriage, and who had run away and left him,—it was supposed for America. The story affected me at the time,” added my uncle, trying to speak calmly.
We were all silent, for we felt why Roland was so disturbed, and why Colonel Vivian’s grief should have touched him home. Similarity in affliction makes us brothers even to the unknown.
“You say he is going home to his family,—I am heartily glad of it!” said the envying old soldier, gallantly.
The lights came in then, and two minutes after, Uncle Roland and I were nestled close to each other, side by side; and I was reading over his shoulder, and his finger was silently resting on that passage that had so struck him: “I have not complained, have I, sir? And I won’t complain!”
PART X
CHAPTER I
My uncle’s conjecture as to the parentage of Francis Vivian seemed to me a positive discovery. Nothing more likely than that this wilful boy had formed some headstrong attachment which no father would sanction, and so, thwarted and irritated, thrown himself on the world. Such an explanation was the more agreeable to me as it cleared up much that had appeared discreditable in the mystery that surrounded Vivian. I could never bear to think that he had done anything mean and criminal, however I might believe he had been rash and faulty. It was natural that the unfriended wanderer should have been thrown into a society, the equivocal character of which had failed to revolt the audacity of an inquisitive mind and adventurous temper; but it was natural also that the habits of gentle birth, and that silent education which English gentlemen commonly receive from their very cradle, should have preserved his honor, at least, intact through all. Certainly the pride, the notions, the very faults of the well-born had remained in full force,—why not the better qualities, however smothered for the time? I felt thankful for the thought that Vivian was returning to an element in which he might repurify his mind, refit himself for that sphere to which he belonged, thankful that we might yet meet, and our present half-intimacy mature, perhaps, into healthful friendship.
It was with such thoughts that I took up my hat the next morning to seek Vivian, and judge if we had gained the right clew, when we were startled by what was a rare sound at our door,—the postman’s knock. My father was at the Museum; my mother in high conference, or close preparation for our approaching departure, with Mrs. Primmins; Roland, I, and Blanche had the room to ourselves.
“The letter is not for me,” said Pisistratus.
“Nor for me, I am sure,” said the Captain, when the servant entered and confuted him,—for the letter was for him. He took it up wonderingly and suspiciously, as Glumdalclitch took up Gulliver, or as (if naturalists) we take up an unknown creature that we are not quite sure will not bite and sting us. Ah! it has stung or bit you, Captain Roland; for you start and change color,—you suppress a cry as you break the seal; you breathe hard as you read; and the letter seems short—but it takes time in the reading, for you go over it again and again. Then you fold it up, crumple it, thrust it into your breast-pocket, and look round like a man waking from a dream. Is it a dream of pain, or of pleasure? Verily, I cannot guess, for nothing is on that eagle face either of pain or pleasure, but rather of fear, agitation, bewilderment. Yet the eyes are bright, too, and there is a smile on that iron lip.
My uncle looked round, I say, and called hastily for his cane and his hat, and then began buttoning his coat across his broad breast, though the day was hot enough to have unbuttoned every breast in the metropolis.
“You are not going out, uncle?”
“Yes, Yes.”
“But are you strong enough yet? Let me go with you.”
“No, sir; no. Blanche, come here.” He took the child in his arms, surveyed her wistfully, and kissed her. “You have never given me pain, Blanche: say, ‘God bless and prosper you, father!’”
“God bless and prosper my dear, dear papa!” said Blanche, putting her little hands together, as if in prayer.
“There—that should bring me luck, Blanche,” said the Captain, gayly, and setting her down. Then seizing his cane from the servant, and putting on his hat with a determined air, he walked stoutly forth; and I saw him, from the window, march along the streets as cheerfully as if he had been besieging Badajoz.
“God prosper thee too!” said I, involuntarily.
And Blanche took hold of my hand, and said in her prettiest way (and her pretty ways were many), “I wish you would come with us, cousin Sisty, and help me to love papa. Poor papa! he wants us both,—he wants all the love we can give him.”
“That he does, my dear Blanche; and I think it a great mistake that we don’t all live together. Your papa ought not to go to that tower of his at the world’s end, but come to our snug, pretty house, with a garden full of flowers, for you to be Queen of the May,—from May to November; to say nothing of a duck that is more sagacious than any creature in the Fables I gave you the other day.”
Blanche laughed and clapped her hands. “Oh, that would be so nice! But”—and she stopped gravely, and added, “but then, you see, there would not be the tower to love papa; and I am sure that the tower must love him very much, for he loves it dearly.”
It was my turn to laugh now. “I see how it is, you little witch,” said I; “you would coax us to come and live with you and the owls! With all my heart, so far as I am concerned.”
“Sisty,” said Blanche, with an appalling solemnity on her face, “do you know what I’ve been thinking?”
“Not I, miss—what? Something very deep, I can see,—very horrible, indeed, I fear; you look so serious.”
“Why, I’ve been thinking,” continued Blanche, not relaxing a muscle, and without the least bit of a blush—“I’ve been thinking that I’ll be your little wife; and then, of course, we shall all live together.”
Blanche did not blush, but I did. “Ask me that ten years hence, if you dare, you impudent little thing; and now, run away to Mrs. Primmins and tell her to keep you out of mischief, for I must say ‘Good morning.’”
But Blanche did not run away, and her dignity seemed exceedingly hurt at my mode of taking her alarming proposition, for she retired into a corner pouting, and sat down with great majesty. So there I left her, and went my way to Vivian. He was out; but seeing books on his table, and having nothing to do, I resolved to wait for his return. I had enough of my father in me to turn at once to the books for company; and by the side of some graver works which I had recommended, I found certain novels in French that Vivian had got from a circulating library. I had a curiosity to read these; for except the old classic novels of France, this mighty branch of its popular literature was then new to me. I soon got interested; but what an interest!—the interest that a nightmare might excite if one caught it out of one’s sleep and set to work to examine it. By the side of what dazzling shrewdness, what deep knowledge of those holes and corners in the human system of which Goethe must have spoken when he said somewhere,—if I recollect right, and don’t misquote him, which I’ll not answer for “There is something in every man’s heart which, if we could know, would make us hate him,”—by the side of all this, and of much more that showed prodigious boldness and energy of intellect, what strange exaggeration; what mock nobility of sentiment; what inconceivable perversion of reasoning; what damnable demoralization! The true artist, whether in Romance or the Drama, will often necessarily interest us in a vicious or criminal character; but he does not the less leave clear to our reprobation the vice or the crime. But here I found myself called upon, not only to feel interest in the villain (which would be perfectly allowable,—I am very much interested in Macbeth and Lovelace), but to admire and sympathize with the villany itself. Nor was it the confusion of all wrong and right in individual character that shocked me the most, but rather the view of society altogether, painted in colors so hideous that, if true, instead of a revolution, it would draw down a deluge. It was the hatred, carefully instilled, of the poor against the rich; it was the war breathed between class and class; it was that envy of all superiorities which loves to show itself by allowing virtue only to a blouse, and asserting; that a man must be a rogue if he belong to that rank of society in which, from the very gifts of education, from the necessary associations of circumstance, roguery is the last thing probable or natural. It was all this, and things a thousand times worse, that set my head in a whirl, as hour after hour slipped on, and I still gazed, spell-bound, on these Chimeras and Typhons,—these symbols of the Destroying Principle. “Poor Vivian!” said I, as I rose at last; “if thou readest these books with pleasure or from habit, no wonder that thou seemest to me so obtuse about right and wrong, and to have a great cavity where thy brain should have the bump of ‘conscientiousness’ in full salience!”
Nevertheless, to do those demoniacs justice, I had got through time imperceptibly by their pestilent help; and I was startled to see, by my watch, how late it was. I had just resolved to leave a line fixing an appointment for the morrow, and so depart, when I heard Vivian’s knock,—a knock that had great character in it, haughty, impatient, irregular; not a neat, symmetrical, harmonious, unpretending knock, but a knock that seemed to set the whole house and street at defiance: it was a knock bullying—a knock ostentatious—a knock irritating and offensive—impiger and iracundus.
But the step that came up the stairs did not suit the knock; it was a step light, yet firm—slow, yet elastic.
The maid-servant who had opened the door had, no doubt, informed Vivian of my visit, for he did not seem surprised to see me; but he cast that hurried, suspicious look round the room which a man is apt to cast when he has left his papers about and finds some idler, on whose trustworthiness he by no means depends, seated in the midst of the unguarded secrets. The look was not flattering; but my conscience was so unreproachful that I laid all the blame upon the general suspiciousness of Vivian’s character.
“Three hours, at least, have I been here!” said I, maliciously.
“Three hours!”—again the look.
“And this is the worst secret I have discovered,”—and I pointed to those literary Manicheans.
“Oh!” said he, carelessly, “French novels! I don’t wonder you stayed so long. I can’t read your English novels,—flat and insipid; there are truth and life here.”
“Truth and life!” cried I, every hair on my head erect with astonishment. “Then hurrah for falsehood and death!”
“They don’t please you,—no accounting for tastes.”
“I beg your pardon,—I account for yours, if you really take for truth and life monsters so nefast and flagitious. For Heaven’s sake, my dear fellow, don’t suppose that any man could get on in England,—get anywhere but to the Old Bailey or Norfolk Island,—if he squared his conduct to such topsy-turvy notions of the world as I find here.”
“How many years are you my senior,” asked Vivian, sneeringly, “that you should play the mentor and correct my ignorance of the world?”
“Vivian, it is not age and experience that speak here, it is something far wiser than they,—the instinct of a man’s heart and a gentleman’s honor.”
“Well, well,” said Vivian, rather discomposed, “let the poor books alone; you know my creed—that books influence us little one way or the other.”
“By the great Egyptian library and the soul of Diodorus! I wish you could hear my father upon that point. Come,” added I, with sublime compassion, “come, it is not too late, do let me introduce you to my father. I will consent to read French novels all my life if a single chat with Austin Caxton does not send you home with a happier face and lighter heart. Come, let me take you back to dine with us to-day.”