● Appearance:
Eyes: Sky blue, big
Hair: Light blonde, golden, wavy
Skin: Tanned
Height: 189 cm
Body build: Sturdy, tight-built
Arthur’s appearance is best summed up in one explanation, rather than describing each point individually. Take any old slavic legend, find an illustration of a great hero, bogatyr, there – bingo!
Thur does indeed resemble a hero from a myth or a fairytale – a lively, blue-eyed giant with huge arms, shaggy golden locks and a kind smile.
His tanned skin adds colour, as if all he does every day is ploughing fields and sowing rye. All he’s missing is his armour and his horse. But he has, as he should, a beard.
A belly, the herald of a well-fed family life, blurs the picture a little, but in the context of the overall enormity of this character, it doesn’t really stand out that much.
Age: 32
Date of birth: 20 June
There is an expression «sweet summer child», which is used to refer to people who are bright, naive and unencumbered by the harsh realities of our world. For the most part, this could apply to our protagonist. We do not know whether the fact that he was born in summer has anything to do with it.
Zodiac sign: Gemini
Arthur had never shown any interest in horoscopes, so it was hard to say whether he would have considered himself a typical representative of his sign. Rather, the horoscope would have made him giggle in a boyish way and tell some typical dad joke:
«– Darling, I can’t take out the rubbish now, ask the other one.
– Who?
– Well the second one, I’m a Gemini, it’s represented by twins. The rubbish is on my twin then!»
Education: Veterinary College
Ever since he was a child, Arthur was overwhelmed by an immense love for all living things. How and why exactly this happened is unknown. Maybe it originated from the fact that his parents never allowed him to have any, even the smallest and the most odourless pet. This love was leading Arthur by the hand throughout his life and has finally led him all the way to becoming a veterinarian.
The rose-coloured glasses shattered rather quickly – this profession turned out to be quite different from what it had seemed when he was a child. At least somehow our hero hadn’t thought about horse enemas and cow births before, about the blood and pain that all vets have been immersed in since their first training days. But in spite of this, Thur decided to stick with it so that he could be able to help our little fur brothers.
During one of his toughest exam preparations, Thur suffered from a lack of exercise and action in his life. That all changed when a one of his buddies invited him to a LARP party – to run through the woods, to swing swords. The rest of his college years went very differently for him.
Job: Veterinarian
At work in the big city, fewer and fewer freshly hatched calves passed through Arthur’s hands than in his studies. The city was having more and more cases like an overeating hamster or a depressed parrot.
He didn’t start thinking less about his profession, though – help is help. And if they come to him for help, he will do everything in his power to bring the animal back to normal. What can we say, the small private clinic, where he has settled in, appreciates him as an employee.
● Hobbies: LARPer, dog groomer
At this point, not quite morally mature people might start giggling at how incongruous our hero’s interests seem. But if you think so, take a step back and look at Arthur from some distance, then the bigger picture emerges. And now it’s clear that anything else would be even silly to expect.
The fact is that after about five hundred dogs had been examined and cared for, a new passion began to take root in Arthur. Seeing his patients happy was the highest reward for our personal Dr Dolittle, but it is hard to see them happy if they are all covered in tatters and tangles.
And then, all of a sudden, there was a mad desire to see them clean and neat as well. That’s how dog grooming – the art of haircuts for pets – came into Arthur’s life.
Not without the support of his superiors, Thur decided to ask the owners of his most shaggy clients for permission to «chop them up a bit». «Literally snip just the very tips,» he said to the delight of not the most mature of readers and not the most mature of his clients. There were more castration jokes after that phrase than we all would have liked, but that smile was Arthur’s pass to a new hobby.
After a while, people started asking the handy vet for this extra service themselves. After that, their friends, friends of friends and eventually some strangers in general started coming.
The owner of the clinic, being a clever man, was quick to make sure that such a talent would also bring in an extra penny. He gave Thur a small storage room to use, helped with the initial materials and even added a small poster at the entrance announcing the new service.
However, it cannot be said that dog grooming has become a second job for Arthur. For now, it is still a hobby: he has complete creative freedom, no schedule and no plans to follow, no check-ups and inspections from his bosses. He does it for himself and for his furry friends, who, after such a beauty salon, come out looking happy and smiling.
● Outstanding personal qualities:
Kindness: Do you know people who, instead of crushing a spider with whatever is at hand, gently take it outside and let it go in peace? If not, meet Arthur again. Given that touching the creature, which has eight paws, with his own hands is beyond him, our hero chooses the path of love anyway and rushes off to find a glass and a piece of paper to help the spider with the move.
Empathy: Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes is a tricky skill, but Arthur manages it. It’s what nearly destroyed his career in medicine. Thur gave his first injection in tears – he himself had experienced the fear and pain of his patient.
He almost fainted, and after the whole study group leaned him up against the nearest wall and gave him some water to drink, he seriously wanted to go and quit his studies right away.
Arthur is sympathetic to all animate objects. All inanimate objects he animates and then shows sympathy for them as well.
Whereas for most people on this planet it might just be an old spoon, for Thur it will be good old Bon-Bon – practically a childhood friend whom he purposely took away from his parents’ home as soon as he started living on his own.
Thanks to this he has a large family – in addition to his wife and son, there’s also the diva, called Prima Donna, a wayward washing machine, and his faithful four-wheeled friend called Jürgen.
Calmness: It’s not an easy task to get Thur to lose his temper. He is a big man, and given his size, no one has ever tried to make him do so. So Arthur’s nervous system is practically brand new, undisturbed by the people around him.
Conflict-free: Arthur has a big problem with confrontation. He avoids conflict at all costs. Our hero is not the type to bang his fist on the table and bark for everyone to calm down and shut up.
In emotionally heated situations, it is usually the wife dealing with the problems, while Arthur stands silently behind her back, instilling his (or at least trying hard) the most serious face expression.
When conflict situations arise with his wife, however, there is no escape for him. So he tries to keep his wife happy, content and well-fed. Not only because of that, of course, but also because he loves her to pieces in a puppy-dog way.
Fun: Arthur also likes to laugh a lot, and he does it very infectiously. So not only does he make his own jokes and laughs at them, he also drags everyone around him along with him into this maelstrom of incessant hilarity.
Some people seriously avoid spending too much time with him simply because their jaw and stomach muscles ache in the morning after a session of hysterical laughter. But there are far more people who, on the contrary, want to spend their time this way, so Arthur is a welcome guest at any gathering of even distant acquaintances.
● Appearance:
Eyes: Black, narrow
Hair: Black, stiff; shoulder blades length
Leather: Olive
Height: 152 cm
Body build: Slim
The contrast in appearance between Agatha and her husband was a usual subject of jokes by friends, acquaintances, and other random people. The already frail-looking girl looked even smaller and more defenceless against the backdrop of Mount Arthur.
With her looks, she would have been nothing but endearing, were it not for the heavy, cold stare of her black eyes, as black as the night itself. That gaze could not only stop a hand from reaching to pinch Agatha’s cheek, it could twist it, and the brute would find himself twisted and broken on the cold floor.
● Clothing style: Feminine, economical
Agatha loves dresses. This wardrobe item is the only thing in which our heroine does not prefer minimalism. While all of Agatha’s trousers, T-shirts, shirts and sweatshirts can fit effortlessly on one small shelf, dresses are so numerous that there is nowhere else to hang them – some have to be stacked and even crammed together.
● Age: 24
In both appearance and age, our heroine is quite young. Seeing a boy of three next to her, people with no sense of personal boundaries rush to label her as a brat with no higher education and no goals in life. They immediately see a girl who came to her parents with a baby in a belly some day after school. Or who married a man with her belly.
It doesn’t occur to these ignorant people that Agatha graduated school with flying colours at sixteen and university with a red diploma at twenty.
She got married at twenty as well, and eventually gave birth at twenty-one. And all this with an education, work experience and a lot of ambition.
● Birthday: 31 October
Zodiac sign: Scorpio
People do not like Scorpios and Scorpios are well aware of it, even if they themselves are not particularly passionate about horoscopes. The way Scorpios react to this dislike varies: they can be both resentful and angry.
But Agatha had always thought this attitude towards her zodiac sign was a real sign of character weakness. So, instead of worrying about it herself, she tolerated such reactions with a certain amount of pity towards such people.
Education: Incomplete Chemical and Biological Sciences major, complete one in Management
After saying goodbye to school life, Agatha enrolled at the university in a big city. She lived in a dorm, was studying hard full-time, so the most convenient part-time job for her was at a bar nearby. Since she got into biochemistry, she also enjoyed mixing ingredients in containers at her new job, so the work went well.
She was so enchanted by this field that after her first year, she left science and transferred to another field of study: management. This is the field in which she was destined to excel.
Job: Manager in a café
With the help of her connections in the bar business, Agatha got her son into kindergarten at the age of two and started work herself. She also found a couple of useful contacts at work, so for a little over a year now she has been running a café.
As she was a mother now, working in a café seemed a more acceptable option than going back to the nightlife.
Agatha has an iron grip on keeping her establishment clean and tidy. Not all the employees are thrilled with the new management, but the angry looks and sighs don’t bother her. For herself, Agatha knows that her strictness is a necessary measure. That she may be harsh, but she is fair.
Additional skills: Many practical skills
Being a thorough person, Agatha acquired a couple of new skills during her maternity leave. First aid, driving, a couple (hundreds, I think?) of books on pedagogy and psychology, cooking for the baby – that’s where it all started. There’s more to come.
Archery, shooting guns, and at the same time a course in cooking chocolate from scratch and baking cakes. It didn’t end there, and the only question she had in the process was why she hadn’t learned all this before. Except that there were no courses in plumbing and electrics, much to her disappointment.
If it were not for the arrival of her son, our protagonist might soon have to be found somewhere in the middle of Siberia, undergoing a survivalist course. After all, there is no telling what and when in this life might come in handy.
● Outstanding personal qualities:
Rationality: Between the call of the heart and what dictates the brain, Agatha always relies more on the organ that was originally meant to make decisions. On the brain, in case it requires clarification. This does not mean that she is insensitive and heartless, but reason should always take precedence over emotion, in her opinion.
This kind of approach and solid logic made Agatha an impossible conversationalist and even worse wife – Arthur has to live with someone who almost always turns out to be right, or at least can prove it calmly and logically.
Observation: Any incident, even the smallest one, requires serious analysis. And in order to do that analysis, you need to be able to notice the small details and see the big picture. Watch and you’ll see – Agatha likes this simple philosophy.
Calculating: Agatha always tries to think through as many things as possible ahead of time. She tries to think of and be prepared for everything. More than once her practicality and prudence have been seen as profit motive and as taking advantage of other people.
Oddly enough, this negative opinion is usually held by outsiders who would have had nothing to take from them, even if Agatha had wanted to. Agatha has had and continues to have a wonderful, at least friendly, relationship with all the «used» people. Networking7 is what she calls her alleged «commercialism».
Minimalism: Our heroine prefers minimalism in everything. Minimal clothing, minimal gimmicks, minimal furniture. In a cluttered space, Agatha gets stuffy and cramped. She also gets uncomfortable in crowds – the exception was working in a bar, but there was a bar that separated her from the clutter of bodies and tables in the hall.
Steel: Due to her toughness and stubborness, Agatha can be perceived as an ’iron lady’. With her subordinates, this lady is unwavering and stern. But people forget that steel is one of the most flexible materials. Steel can be as cold as it is scalding hot. As hard as it is fluid. Despite her cold head, Agatha is no stranger to intense feelings.
And most importantly, you can try to bend steel with your hands, but you’re unlikely to break it. Such strength of character would be the envy of many. No matter how many times life threw buckets of stones at her, every time our heroine rose again.
Agatha’s family has a legend that their ancestor was Genghis Khan8 and, frankly, that would explain a lot.
About how they met
When Agatha was in her third year of university, she was still working in a bar. One day, a new employee joined their team and started showing an unequivocal interest in her. Neither the flowers he gave her, nor any gifts, nor the guy himself were really her type. A «come to my place and let’s watch a movie» was out of the question. A couple of months of futile attempts later, he decided to go all in.
Since none of the standard tricks worked, Romeo decided to do something unusual and invited Agatha to a medieval tournament at the renaissance fair held by re-enactors and LARPers in one of the parks.
Agatha thought it would be a good idea to expand her horizons and network of acquaintances, so she agreed. The suitor was immensely pleased with himself until they went on this «date».
The girl was polite but reserved. She was more interested in the event itself than in this poor man’s feeble attempts to put his arm around her waist without being squeezed into the ground with her ice-cold gaze.
The suitor decided to make another move and invited our heroine to meet some of the participants in the tournament – he was acquainted with several of them, although he was not a regular participant in such events. He knew just a couple of people, knew which part of the park they were preparing for and knew how to get to them.
This was his fatal mistake, because among the new acquaintances was Arthur. After five minutes of talking to Agatha, the giant decided that he would never take another step away from her or let anyone else hurt her.
So the three of them were wandering around for several hours until the hapless suitor eventually got lost somewhere on the way, seeing that he could no longer even try to claim her waist or the rest of her body.
And Agatha and Arthur’s romance spiralled swiftly and relentlessly. They were completely different, but found things they did have in common. They were together all the time, and when they were near each other, they shone in a way that could dazzle those around them. Never before had either of them been seen like that.
By now their mutual friends, who were particularly sharp-tongued, were saying that this bogatyr was now under the Tartar-Mongol yoke. And Arthur didn’t mind, as well as Agatha.9
It is not easy to write a CV for someone who is only three years old. His life history has not yet shaped him as a person, he cannot yet share his views on politics and the environmental situation in the world.
His birth story wasn’t anything special, he was lying in a city maternity hospital just like hundreds of others. He was learning to crawl and hold a spoon, just as billions of others have learned before him and billions more will learn afterwards.
At least we can try and start with his appearance. After he was born, he looked exactly like a potato, as all children except for your own do. To his parents, he was the most beautiful thing from day one, but by the time he was three years old other people could see this as well. Now they could roughly imagine what he would eventually grow up to be.
And he promised to grow up, if not dashing, then at least quite handsome.
Given the range of characteristics his parents possessed, Mark could have turned out rather comical and unsightly, but genetics were favourable.
Somehow, he was born with big sky-blue eyes, which then one day became almost as black as his mother’s, and after that they began to lighten again, resulting in a beautiful dark blue colour on his iris.
His hair, black and stiff like Agatha’s, was wavy, just a bit short of Arthur’s curls.
He took after his mother in many ways, but the huge smile that played across his face so often was clearly his father’s.
The parsing of the appearance has not yet been able to determine what he has inherited from other relatives, but at three years old you can still wait on that.
More importantly, our youngest of the heroes was already showing that appearance would clearly not be the main achievement in his formed personality – the boy was already charismatic. One day he almost organized an escape from his kindergarten, and the whole group was ready to follow him.
All in all, grandparents can safely go on saying that he will break more than one girl’s heart, and they will probably be right.
Except that Mark himself doesn’t like it when people say that. He, to be honest, wouldn’t like to break anything. If he was punished for a broken salad bowl, which turned out to be a bad option for trying to ride it down the corridor, what are the consequences of a broken heart then?
Well, what else? Unlike many other boys his age, Mark did not earn his authority among his classmates by force. He had always been a soft and vulnerable child, which made Agatha sigh heavily and longingly. But time after time she reminded herself that stamina and the ability to stand up for oneself and stand one’s ground were skills that people are not born with, they take time to develop.
As for Mark’s own desires, becoming seasoned and hardened was not one of his priorities. He did, however, prioritize dinosaurs, cartoons and banana pudding, which was also very good.
CHAPTER 4: Jürgen and somewhere around
Jürgen rambled softly as it was warming up. Outside, a snowstorm was howling with its snowiness. It was still chilly, but the heater was already filling the insides of the car with life-saving warmth. At the wheel sat a huge man in an enormous winter jacket – how the pair of them fit into the seat will forever remain a mystery.
He was beginning to feel a little hot, so he decided to take off at least the jacket. He did not want to go outside, which meant that he had to display the kind of flexibility that such a huge human body should not be able to do in confined spaces, to the envy of all the snake-women from Cirque Du Soleil.10
Actually, Thur didn’t know if Cirque Du Soleil had any snake-women, but if not, it was clearly an oversight on their part. It didn’t change the point: the man’s body size was too much for taking his jacket off with no assistance, it’s not as mundane as it is for most people. There was only one saving grace: he was the only one in the car, and this time there should have been no casualties.
However, once the jacket was defeated, this loneliness began to weigh on him and seemed to be rather exacerbating. Twenty minutes ago, they should have been already on the road – if nothing changes soon, they can safely wrap it up and not go anywhere at all.
This is where any reasonable reader should be prepared to insert their five cents – why not call? Why not text? Who is better off if the trip ends up being cancelled? And a reasonable reader might be absolutely right, but not this time.
Well, please, let’s live together friendlily.
The bearded man leaned back and closed his eyes, trying to prepare himself for any outcome. He was not very good at it – the blood was throbbing in his temples, and he could not breathe calmly at all.
The big metal front door of their house opened and let two people out into the world. They were immediately swept away by a blizzard, a gust of icy wind with razor-sharp little icicles. The larger figure rushed confidently towards the car, towing the smaller one behind it.
The little person was stubborn and refused to move his legs. Thankfully, the snow had been cleared away and had not yet managed to cover the ice, so instead of ramming the thick layer of icy white powder with his whole body, one could see a comical pair skating element which was not at all in tune with the general mood.
The car door opened, the blizzard didn’t miss its chance and hundreds of thousands of little shurikens11 of ice slammed into Artur’s unprotected neck. However, the pain of the cold could not overcome the disturbing disappointment that came over the man at the sight of the expression on his wife’s face.
The conflict was not resolved. The miserable hope that the storm had passed had quit of its own accord. The trip promised to be no fun.
While Agatha buckled her frowning son into the child seat and unbuttoned his jacket, Arthur ran his fingers nervously over the rough surface of the steering wheel.
This has never happened before. Today, the unstoppable force ran into an unbreakable obstacle. The scythe found a rock. The wave came upon… also upon a rock.
Like flashbacks from the battlefield, this morning came back to Arthur. Picture after picture began to appear in his mind.
Here was still a good morning. The pancakes for breakfast were delicious, the kettle whistled cosily on the cooker, the plaid lay softly on my shoulders and my slippers hugged my feet gently.
Now it’s time for breakfast for the rest of the household.
Here the cups are already set out, plump crispy rounds have been placed on plates and I need to walk towards the rooms to call everyone in.
No, as it turned out, there was no need to go. I should have stayed where I was and should’ve sat on a chair in the embrace of a plaid and in the company of a friendly mug of coffee.
On the way to the door, something was amiss. My wife’s voice was ringing with metal, and Mark was making a mooing sound, about to turn into a roar.
Never mind that our son is not a morning person, that’s nothing new. More than once in the morning, when he has to go to an extra-curricular activity or to a kindergarten, he wakes up determined to fight for his soft bed and a warm blanket to the end.
It’s all right, after about fifteen minutes of washing up, the world will change dramatically in his eyes. Everything will be nice and calm again.
Why couldn’t things get nice and calm this time?
Can teenage rebellion begin at three years of age?
This time, after washing up, Mark wasn’t distracted by the birds outside the window or impressed by the delicious pancakes. A small scowl and eyes full of resentment continued to follow Agatha until she turned her back to him, reaching the cupboard to get some herbs for her tea.
It was at that moment that everything changed. One! And the cup on the table was in the little boy’s hands. Two! And there it goes on the floor. Three! And it’s gone.
No, it didn’t shatter dramatically. Little hands couldn’t give it enough acceleration to make it break into small pieces, hitting the linoleum. But it cracked and a small part of it even bounced so that it disappeared somewhere under the fridge. The damage was done.
Agatha buckled up. Arthur buckled up. The ride began.
It seemed that nothing could be worse than the oppressive atmosphere that now prevailed in Jürgen. Thur briefly took his eyes off the road and slid them to the mirror. Agatha was looking out the window with a furrowed brow. Mark in his turn was staring in the opposite window with his red, puffy after weeping, eyes.
Arthur almost let out a heavy sigh, but stopped himself halfway through. He wanted to be breathing as inconspicuously as possible.
Just don’t be too late.
In fact, punctuality was only a cover for Arthur’s real, sincere motive. This trip had to be over as soon as possible.
As luck would have it, every traffic light turned red12 as soon as Jürgen approached it.
But they were not going to be late for class anyway. Thur drove up to the entrance and by this time Agatha had already unbuckled, zipped up and started to unbuckle and zip up Mark.
During all these manipulations, Agatha cast a questioning glance at Arthur, who was still sitting motionless.
– You guys go ahead, I have to run an errand. I’ll be done by the end of class.
Agatha didn’t seem happy about this sudden mystery errand. It meant there was a risk of being stuck here longer than she would have liked. But what could she do? Not persecuting a man for having to do things for sure. She nodded and opened the car door, getting a handful of bracing fine snow in her face.
After a few more seconds of fumbling, the two figures rushed to the entrance of the building, above which hung a sign that looked really bright against the white of the rest of the world.
Arthur exhaled.
Being alone in the car was once again a pleasant feeling.